Girl Troubles

In a rather nondescript section of Tokyo-3 was a rather ordinary bar, and inside this bar sat Shinji, slowly turning a glass of amber fluid around and around in his hands, and every once in a while, taking a drink.

"I apologize, Ikari." Rei's downcast eyes and sad expression went beyond the term 'puppy eyes' and Shinji was nearly tripping over himself to reassure the girl.

"No, no, it's okay, Rei," She had smiled wistfully at his use of her given name. "I mean, sure, you took over everyone's mind, and..." He tried a different tack. "Well, what I mean is, everyone wishes they could change reality every now and then, it's just that you can change reality, and..." He had talked himself into a corner again. He tried to start over, but Rei had put a finger on his lips.

"Don't rationalize it," she had said, eyes sad as ever. "It means a lot that you try, though." And so she had walked away. All the girls now seemed to have either moved on, or gotten over him. The ones who had not, now had their anger and attention focused, at least temporarily, on Rei, the cause of their latest travails.

He lifted the drink to his lips, took another swallow, and sighed deeply. At that point he happened to notice the rather short, and quite studiously dressed young boy that sat himself down on the bar stool next to him. The boy looked as if he were about to order something, then seemed to realize his age (about ten, it looked like to Shinji), and dropped his hand, resting his head on a hand, elbow on bar. He let loose a deep sigh that Shinji recognized instantly.

"Girl troubles?" he glanced over at the boy, who glanced back. The small almost inconspicuous glasses perched on his nose hid eyes full of wariness at this stranger who had interrupted his moroseness. Wariness finally changed into resignation, and he nodded. Shinji lifted a finger, getting the bartenders attention. "Gimme another," he yelled. "-no, make that a double."

The bartender nodded with all the sageness his profession gave him, and without looking withdrew a bottle from where rows of them sat in their wooden alcoves. He undid the cork with a 'pop', tipped the bottle forward over a glass, and amber liquid sloshed. Another tip, another slosh, and then he slid the two full glasses down the bar, one after the other. The newcomer beside Shinji watched all this with a kind of bored fascination.

"Fresh pressed sparkling apple cider. Non-alcoholic," he said by way of explanation. "I mean, hey, it's not like we can hide our ages." The tired smile he gave his as-yet-unnamed ten-year-old companion elicited an answering grin of comradeship. The boy sipped his drink as he pulled a card out of his pocket, staring at it with a kind of apprehension that Shinji knew well. That was when Shinji happened to notice just what kind of card it was. He spewed his drink, descending into a coughing fit until he had cleared his windpipe. The boy eyed him curiously, then Shinji pulled a similar card from his pocket, eliciting raised eyebrows from his companion.

It was at this point that Kamo happened to be hopping from head to head towards Shinji, having noticed him.

"Ah, Aniki! So this is where you've been..." he trailed off when he noticed Shinji's companion. "Wait... This Aniki, and that Aniki..." The rat quickly put two and two together as he saw them eying each other's cards. "Oh crap. Oh crapcrapcrap-"

Shinji and Negi continued their fateful encounter.

"This is awesome," Negi exclaimed, eying Shinji's cards. They both had arranged their collections on the bar-top, and a crowd was forming. "I've never met a magister with as many cards as I have!"

Shinji was simply dumbfounded to see someone with cards like his. It quickly dawned on him what he was seeing.

"Wait. These," He pointed to a couple of the cards. "-these represent real people." It was a statement, but sounded like a question.

"Right." Negi looked quizzically at Shinji, wondering why a fellow magi would not know something so simple.

"-so for instance, you said this one can read minds," pointing at Nodoka's card.

"Yeah."

Shinji pondered the array of cards, and the powers Negi had described.

"So tell me about your girls' powers." The boy's face was beaming with excitement at finding a possible ally. His former funk was forgotten, at least by him. Probably not by his girls, however. Whatever that trouble was.

"Oh, haha," Shinji looked a bit embarrassed. Next to Negi's cards, his look like a circus carnival in his eyes. "Really, you don't want to know..."

"No, I do," Negi insisted, so emphatically that Shinji reluctantly gave in.

"Ah," he spread the cards. "This one can make any guy fall for her, umm, this one has these clips on her head, and they," he trailed off, since describing A10 clips would open a whole nother can of worms, and require more explanations. He hurried on to the next card, and began speaking before immediately regretting it. Hikari's card had her in her drill sergeant's uniform, her arms crossed, the stun baton in one hand balanced by her deadly-serious eyes. "Oh, uh, heh, she's, well..." His explanation trailed off.

"What?"

"No, you really don't-"

"Come on, what did you say?"

"I said she's kind of a dominatrix!" he finally exclaimed, too loudly. He hurriedly looked around, in case Hikari had been nearby. Thankfully she was not.

He was rather surprised by the look of awe in Negi's eyes.

"Wow, so you've got a mind-bender, what looks like a reality-distorter (apparently Asuka), a close-combat type..."

Shinji had definitely not considered his squad in terms of combat possibilities. He tried to shuffle and hide the rest of the cards. If Negi had gone off just on Asuka, Rei, and Hikari, there was no telling...

"Hey!" He was pointing at Fate's card. "Who's she?" Shinji sweated. "It says 'Fate' on the card," Negi said, his eyes narrowing. "But it's female."

"So?" Shinji was again puzzled.

"Fate," Negi insisted. "-guy, about your height, white hair, serious look," He was surprised at the look of recognition that crossed Shinji's face.

"Oh! Yeah, Fate... I mean Mana... got him as a pactio power, but she tore up the card and tried for another..." He trailed off, realizing that he had let on to having kissed Fate (Mana) more than once. He needn't have worried, since Negi was flabbergasted at those words. Then he burst out laughing. Shinji patiently waited for him to calm down.

"Sorry," Negi wheezed, "It's just that the Fate I know will be really embarrassed when he finds out I know about this, next time we fight. That you actually summoned him against his will, and-"

"Fight?" Shinji wondered. His confusion had become permanent.

"Yeah," Negi insisted enthusiastically. "Hey, bring all your girls here, I'd like to meet them and learn more about their powers! I'll bring mine too," and so saying, he gathered all his cards and put them to his forehead before Shinji could protest.

"No, wait...! Didn't you say that..." all the girls appeared before Shinji finished speaking. "-you had girl problems...?" he finished, uselessly. A collage of girls appeared at the bar, tall, short, blonde, red-head, causing Shinji's eyes to goggle.

"Hey!" Asuna's hands were on her hips, her expression angry. "Don't think I've forgiven you yet, Negi-bouzu!"

Negi apparently realized what he had forgotten, for he sidled up to Shinji's side.

"-don't leave me hanging here," he whispered in an undertone, causing Shinji to sigh and bring his cards to his forehead. His spinelessness brought him the same problem Negi's enthusiasm had caused. Shinji's harem appeared in a flash of light, and Asuka immediately cut a path towards the hapless boy.

"Hey!" she screeched, causing the bartender to wince as the store lost its entire collection of wine in one fell swoop. "Didn't I tell you not to summon me without permission??" Shinji was in the middle of cooking up a very convincing Shinji-ism, when Asuka immediately noticed her counterpart in Negi's harem, and was also noticed by said rival. "Shinjiiii! You'd better not having been kissing without permission, you slut!" Asuka had no idea that the other girls were Negi's, not Shinji's. Asuna simply snorted.

"As if I'd kiss such a guy!" she exclaimed, casting a glance of aspersion in Shinji's direction.

"Wait just a minute! He's not that bad a kisser!" Asuka immediately realized her mistake but it was too late to retract her words. Shinji blushed, then Asuka blushed, then she flew around, pointing a steady finger at her lord and master. "I'll deal with you later, nitwit!" She then turned to find Asuna in her face, staring her down.

"Why do you have a pactio with him?" Asuna asked. "It's obvious you don't like him."

"Hah!" Asuka chortled. "You didn't sound so hot for that kid a minute ago, sister!" 'That kid' was, along with Shinji, trying to sidle towards the door. Shinji happened to notice Negi's doom approaching and waggled his eyebrows towards Negi. Negi for his part looked questioningly at Shinji, then a panicked look came into his eyes, and he kind of jerked his head, 'hmphing' a little as if indicating something behind Shinji. Neither understood the other until it was too late.

"-um, Negi-sensei," Negi jumped and Nodoka's soft tremulous voice. "I'm honored you invoked the summoning clause of our relationship, and-" Shinji couldn't suppress a wince of sympathy as he watched Negi sweat. Then he jumped when arms surrounded him, one of them holding a dangerous high-voltage instrument.

"Shinji," Hikari purred into the boy's ear. "I've been doing quite a bit of... 'experimenting' with this, and I've-"

Trying to ignore Hikari's words and ministrations, he happened to glance over to where Asuka and Asuna were preparing to blow the joint. Asuna had concentrated chi into her right hand and magic in her left.

"Kanka!" she spat out, bringing them together and surrounding herself with a vivid white light that caused her long pony-tails to stand out suddenly. Asuka thinned her lips, and reached up to switch one of her Doom clips over to Angst. She then gathered Doom in her left hand as a ball of blackness, and Angst in her right as a jagged angry red. Even she paused momentarily, wondering for a bit if she was doing something wise. Then she clapped her hands together, plunging her personal space into blackness lit with red fringes.

The lights flickered, whiteness of Asuna's Kanka met darkness of Asuka's dread power, Hikari proceeded to seduce Shinji, and Nodoka blushed, studying Hikari's technique for later use on Negi.

"What have we done?" Shinji and Negi echoed together, as Kamo fled the continent.