A/N: This chapter is dedicated to AcroPrincess who has commented on nearly every chapter and inspired this particular chapter. I know it's not exactly what she had in mind but she really got me thinking and I knew I simply had to do this chapter. I hope it's all she expected it to be and you all enjoy it.
Midday slowly came and went and for the first time in years the baker still wasn't out of bed, proof of just how exhausted she had made herself last night. She didn't even toss and turn in her sleep this time like she had done every night before hand. For once darkness didn't engulf her dreams, maybe because she had simply been too exhausted to have her mind to think up the nightmares that usually haunted her dreams. Maybe she had felt the lips she had unconditionally loved for so long press against her forehead, it was impossible to tell.
One o'clock came around and far too quickly Nellie sat up, the room spinning with the sudden rush of blood to her head. She knew better then to get up straight away; she had always had terrible balance, so instead she simply sat there for a moment crossing her legs under the warmth of the blanket. There was no reason to make a batch of pies today, no one ever came in anyway, business was once again how it had been it had been before Sweeney arrived for the first time, one could barely call it a business.
She never gave up hope however, she wasn't one to simply give up because she was going through a rough patch, her dedication to the Demon Barber was proof of this simple fact. Even as Benjamin Barker she had always watched him and Lucy with envy and despite her kind words after Ben got dragged away to Australia on what everyone knew (although no one spoke against the Judge out loud) was a false charge. Lucy used to come down to her shop, little Johanna nestled safely in her arms, hoping to start some kind of conversation with her landlady. Although they were both the same age Lucy was much more naive then Nellie had been and not once did she see through her mask, not once did she see through her lies when Nellie told the yellow haired girl that she was glad to see her.
And so Nellie played the part of a concerned friend listening to all the girls troubles and fears, oblivious to the fact that the person she was telling about Benjamin was the very person who was in love with her husband. Eventually everything became too much for the foolish woman and she left little Johanna in the care of Nellie while she went to fetch the arsenic that would eventually turn her into a crazy beggar woman.
Nellie's attempts to talk her out of the suicide attempt were half hearted; she was already thinking about what Benjamin would say when he eventually returned, even if Nellie had only lost her husband mere months beforehand. The marriage had been a short one lasting only a year and a half before Albert had mysteriously died. So Nellie sat there, the oblivious baby Johanna playing restlessly in her arms as the baker watch out the window, her foot tapping endlessly on the ground, bouncing the baby who was half seated on her knee.
Every time she looked down at the innocent girl she saw more and more Benjamin Barker in her then the last time she looked. She wanted to take the girl and run, to hold onto any piece of Ben that she could get, then she would look at the tiny girl again and see Lucy in the poor girl and although she was half the man she was in love with she was also half the woman she had come to despise and all thoughts of running away escaped her mind entirely.
That however was many years ago and although at times Nellie wished she had told Sweeney about Lucy she knew that this was something she could never say, that she had despised his wife and nearly ran off with his child. There was only one person she had told at the time, her friend Mrs Mooney who had once been just like her. Although she was nearly twice Nellie's age (or so it seemed at the time) she had been once as foolish as the young baker and in love with another person's partner and knew exactly what to say. She knew that if she told the barber it would definitely be the last time he spoke to her and most likely the last thing she ever said. And so she held her silence and never brought the subject of Lucy up unless she had too.
Like the day before night time came far too quickly and as she went to call out to Mr Todd that she was once again leaving her jaw nearly dropped to the ground. He was standing at the door waiting for her, his usual jacket sitting on his shoulders as he stood there watching as the woman slowly came into the room.
"Mista T?" she asked softly as she continued walking towards him, a little slower before, a little more hesitant wondering what on earth was going on.
"Come on, love. I've got somewhere I'd like to check." He said quickly, a little hint of knowing in his usually dead eyes as he effortlessly pushed the door open with one hand and waiting for Nellie to pass him.
Nellie didn't say another word as she passed the man, the only sound now coming from the soft tapping of high heels against her hard shop floor. Like the night before the cold night wind hit her seemingly fragile body the moment she stepped out into it. Having no idea what Sweeney was planning she turned around, watching him in curiosity as he too walked out the door, pulling it closed behind him as he did.
Without looking at the baker he started walking, the opposite direction she had headed the night before which made her even more curious. This way she passed Mrs Mooney's pie shop, a reminder that she hadn't been on this side of town since before Sweeney left. Not paying particular attention she blindly followed the barber, twisting through the dark alley ways of London.
Too late it became obvious where they were headed and it all became clear why he had wanted to come. They were headed to Judge Turpin's old place, the place where he had kept his pretty little ward Johanna locked up for the first fifteen out of sixteen years of her life. Although personally Nellie had no objections to breaking into the abandoned house she wondered if there would be anyway to talk Sweeney out of it. Usually she wouldn't pass up a chance to spend time with the man but this was his house after all, the one who had had Sweeney to bent up on revenge when he returned after fifteen years away that he didn't notice what was right in front of him.
This time however, there was no Lucy, no Judge, no Johanna to steal the love of her life away from her, there was however the house in front of them. She wondered what must be going through his mind at this very moment, if he saw this as the house of the enemy who had stolen his child from him. Her eyes full of worry she opened her mouth to say something, to suggest that he went back but it was too late, he was already walking up in front of her to the back door. Sighing loudly she followed up behind him; each wary step seemed to take a lifetime.
Getting into the house was easy, no one had stepped foot in it for nearly a year now so security wasn't anything to worry about. The house inside was nearly as cold as the weather was outside, minus the piercing wind. It was just as Nellie expected it to be, lifeless. It was hard to tell that someone had ever lived in it; the dust had piled up covering the surfaces with a thick layer, the air was dense and stuffy making it slightly harder for the baker to breathe properly. The pictures that had once proudly hung from the walls were leaning to one side, like so many other things covered in dust.
No, it was easy to tell the moment Mrs Lovett stepped over the threshold that Toby was most definitely not here and as she turned around to exit the house again she noticed Sweeney climbing the stairs in front of her. Not a good sign as that was generally where the bedrooms were; where Johanna's bedroom had been. The stairs creaked under her feet as she unwillingly followed the man up them, expecting the worse.
It was easy to tell which room had belonged to the young lady as down one side of the door sat a painted rose, elegant as the rest of the house must have been while it was inhabited. Nellie reached the man just as his hand extended for the doorhandle. Purely for his mental state she didn't really want him anywhere near the room but it was obvious there was nothing she could do, even as she placed her hand on his shoulder furthest away from her.
"Toby's not here, love." She said quietly, her voice breaking the silence. She knew it wouldn't work but she couldn't let him go in without at least trying to stop him. Like she expected he simply ignored her existence completely as slowly his hand turned pushing the door open with the slightest push of his arm.
The room was dark but both of them could see perfectly. The bed, in the middle of the room made perfectly, she could almost see the Judge standing by it, leaning over the sleeping body of his ward, watching her sleep. The chair by the window with an empty birdcage hanging opposite it where she used to sit and sign, gazing out at a world she dreamt about being a part of. If she didn't know better as she glanced at the man she could have sworn she saw a single tear dwelling in his eye, the next time she looked however it was gone.
The pair lingered their a little while longer before Mrs Lovett slowly lifted her other arm and rested it on his free shoulder, steering the man out of the room and down the stairs. Like she had expected they had found nothing in the old house, time she could have been using to actually look for Toby, not reopen Sweeney to a whirlpool of memories.
The night air seemed slightly warmer as she let go of the man's shoulders letting him walk by himself now that they were both out of the house. She didn't pay much attention to which direction they returned back to her shop in, she didn't think Sweeney did either but slowly they returned back the same way she had come, weaving in and out of buildings full of sleeping men and women, some of them with children. Her heart sank slightly at the thought of children, ever since that night she had held little Johanna in her arms she had wanted a child, a little girl to call her own. Though with each day she grew older the less likely having a child of her own became.
In what seemed like no time at all they were walking past Mrs Mooney's shop again, Sweeney walking so far in the shadows it was nearly hard to see him, Nellie walking in that little gap between the shadows of building and the light of the moon. Her eyes drifting to the left she noticed something that made her heart race. The closest thing she had to a child was there cleaning a table in Mrs Mooney's pie shop.
"Go." Was the only word that left the woman's lips, her eyes full of hope as she walked towards the shop, towards the boy who had just looked up, dropping the cloth as he did. Toby and Nellie met halfway in a hug, the woman's smile the brightest it had been in months. Neither of them had to say anything, with her hand rested on his back the pair walked back to Mrs Lovett's shop. Toby grinned madly to himself as he walked; not knowing what was awaiting him just around the corner at Nellie's shop.
A/N: Well there you go. I swear my laptop must have known what I was doing since as I was writing the part about Johanna's room the three songs that played were Ladies in their Sensitivities then Johanna Reprise and last but not least Pretty Women. Creeped out? Nah, I find it quite amusing actually. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.