A/N: Whee! I am so, so, SO excited about this story. I personally haven't read anything like this so far, but of course, I don't have time to read everything on this website. Anyway, this prologue has excepts from the first chapter, so I actually wrote them together and I will be posting them together. So if you see things that are similar between the two, that's why! I'll stop talking now so you all can get to reading and hopefully enjoying.

WARNING! This story is rated M for a reason. If you are uncomfortable reading about sex then you should either skip the second and largest block of italics or not read this story at all.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But I do wish I could own Robert Pattinson ...

Prologue: Consequences

Things weren't supposed to happen this way. This was never how I imagined my situation. I shouldn't be alone right now – he should be right outside my bathroom, pacing nervously back and forth. My tears right now taste like fear, regret, disappointment – anything that isn't related to happiness, like it should be. My hands are shaking; the only way I can tell is by the nervous crackling of the plastic bag in my hand. A broken sob escapes my throat, and the next thing I know I'm sobbing hysterically while curled up into fetal position on the cool tile.

I've been crying like this a lot lately, whenever I think about that night, so these sounds don't frighten me like they did at first. I was used to them, but to anyone else, they would think that I was dying. Maybe I was, not physically, but right now it sure felt like everything on the inside was slowly deteriorating. That night started out so fantastic, and I thought that it was going to escalate into one of the best of my life. I gave up on fighting the memories and let them seep into my mind.

His face turned a light red and he seemed to be battling a conflict inside of his head. "Bella, I … um … I … these past few years have been some of the worst of my life, and … I … I think it's because I miss you. So much."

I froze, trying to absorb what he had just confessed to me. My hand was still resting on his, and I suddenly became very well-aware of our physical contact. He missed me? A small amount of hope swelled in my heart, and maybe things could go back to normal between us. Or maybe I could have him in every way I wanted him, which was a lot more than just my friend. I couldn't help but wonder if he felt what I did right now as our hands were so innocently connected. It was a strong tingling sensation that radiated through my body, and it only got stronger as I thought that he could feel the same …

"Bella?"

I realized that I haven't responded to his words yet, and I blushed more at that thought. My face would be in a permanent state of crimson by the end of the night. "Sorry, I zoned out. I … I really miss you too, but … what does that mean for us?" I asked. That would probably be the best way for me to get some of the answers I needed.

A brilliant smile lit up his face for a few seconds before it slightly died down. "Well, I … don't really know to be honest. I never thought that you would actually miss me too," Oh, if only you knew, "But … I know that you really mean a lot to me, even after all of this time," he confessed, becoming less embarrassed and more confident.

I smiled softly at him, trying my best to keep my face a normal color. "You mean a lot to me too," I told him, looking down at our hands.

He slowly twisted his hand around, and our fingers wrapped themselves around each other. My heart swelled with pride, and I decided to meet his eyes again. His face was beaming, and it made me smile too. This felt like a dream, and I hoped that I would never wake up. As long as he wasn't planning on breaking my heart again, then this was better than anything that I could ask for.

- - -

"A huge blizzard decided to hit right after we got here, Bella, and the roads are closed until at least tomorrow afternoon! So we get to spend the night here!" my mom explained.

I briefly let my thoughts wonder to a naughtier side that involved him and his room, but I quickly let those thoughts aside. "That should be fun," I said casually, while I was just as excited as her on the inside.

"I know, I'm so excited! Now come on you two, Alice's cookies are finished, and we have to arrange our sleeping arrangements!" Renee bounded out of the room, with he and I trailing behind her.

"Bella," I turned to face him, "If you don't mind I'd like to spend more time with you later tonight," he told me. I swear there was a small amount of seductive in his tone.

"I would like that too," I replied.

He was everything that I could ask for in a man. He was a gentlemen in every way, always looking to do everything for his lady before worrying about his own needs. I know that was most likely his intention all along, but I also wanted to believe that he enjoyed hurting me. The second option would make so much more sense, because if he knew the first thing about me then he would know that I couldn't be happy without him.

I thought that I would be able to trust him of all people with my body. Well, I did in the moment. I'll admit it – I love him, and I still do even though I couldn't have him like I wanted to. And I really thought that he felt the same way about me, especially when things started to get more intimate between us …

I took a few steady breaths for good measure, and I reached out to take his hand in my own. He looked up at me with confusion, but his face changed to the one from when I entered when I led him to his bed. His eyes met my own, so I was hoping that my facial expression was one similar to his own.

"I … I'm not very good at this - " I was silenced by his finger against my lips, and he put his other hand on my cheek. I let out whatever air was leftover in my lungs as his face slowly came closer to mine.

"Bella," he whispered, and I still loved how he said my name, "As long as it's you then it will be perfection," he assured. Then he closed the gap between our lips.

Kissing him was something that I never thought I would get to experience. But as soon as our lips connected, something awoke in me, telling me that somehow this was always meant to happen. I felt like I was flying as our mouths moved together in perfect rhythm, and I never wanted to come back down. New confidence started to flow through my veins so my hands left my sides and started to comb through his hair. It felt silkier than I had imagined, but surely nowhere near greasy. I heard him moan against my lips and he pulled me down so we could lay on his bed.

I would be perfectly happy spending the rest of the night just kissing and touching his hair and face as he stroked my own hair or cheek, but when one of his hands traced my back down to my waist, other ideas coursed through my mind …

- - -

… I heard him fumbling in his nightstand, looking for something, and I knew he had found it when I heard the crinkling sound of the wrapper. He tore open the package quickly and slid the condom down his harden length, and my stomach trembled with nerves and excitement.

He rolled over, and landed so he was on top of me and resting in the middle of my legs. His clean hand ran through my hair while he leaned down to kiss my forehead. "Bella, are you sure you want this?" he asked, his deep green eyes staring into mine.

I nodded, pulled his face to mine, and kissed him once. "Yes. I haven't been more sure of anything," I assured.

He smiled, gave me one more tender kiss, then guided his arousal to my opening …

- - -

… he made one last thrust, crying out my name before I felt him spasm inside of me and collapse, still inside of me. He wrapped his arms around me, keeping me close, and I hugged him back.

He slipped out at last, and had to let go of me to remove his condom and throw it in the trash. I used the time to push his covers down and go under them, pulling the blankets to my chest. He returned as fast as possible and he pulled me to his body again. I could stay in his embrace like this for the rest of my life, but I wasn't finished with him just yet.

"Can I ask you for something?"

"Of course honey," he replied, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "What is it?"

"Um … well … this night was fantastic, but … to be honest … uh … I always imagined that I would have my first time naturally, if you know what I mean …"

"Oh … so you mean without a -"

I blushed, snuggling into his chest so he couldn't see my face. "Um, yeah. I just always thought that it would feel a lot better, but if you don't want to then that's okay ..." I trailed off, too embarrassed to continue.

The next thing I knew he was on top of me, his erection pressed into my thigh. "I want to make you happy, Bella," he explained …

- - -

I heard him groan, a sound full of pleasure and frustration, and he pulled out and rubbed himself until he ejaculated a few seconds later on my thigh, letting out a shaky sign of relief.

"That was really close, but that was fantastic," he whispered.

It hurt so much to think about that night, yet it was something I just couldn't get out of my mind. I tried so hard to not think about it, but it just wasn't worth all of the effort anymore.

I remembered the contents of the bag I was holding. I needed to do this – I needed a confirmation to my suspicions. I took a deep, shaky breath and pulled out the box, leaving the bag on the floor. I pulled out the contents and read the directions, even though I had a pretty good idea of what I needed to do.

After the test, I needed to wait for a few minutes to get the results. I knew that this would be the longest five minutes of my life, and the result was going to change it forever. I set the alarm on my cell phone to alert me when it was time.

The tears started streaming once again, and I wished that he could be here holding me right now. I needed him to comfort me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. But no – he wasn't here, and he probably wouldn't come even if I asked him to. I didn't want to remember how the night ended but it is probably the hardest part to forget …

"Bella … did we mess up by doing this? I mean, sweetie, I just got you back hours ago, and I don't want to lose you again by taking things too fast ..."

I didn't know what to say to that. Maybe we did mess up tonight, as nice as it was. He thought that he was going to lose me by moving too fast, so maybe I shouldn't tell him what I was going to. Maybe we should just be friends for a while, even if it did hurt me. I just wanted what is best for him though, because his happiness is more important than mine …

"… I … I don't know. This night was amazing, but do you think we should backtrack and just be friends for now?"

He stopped moving his hand, keeping it intertwined in my hair, and didn't respond right away. "I … I think that would be for the best."

I felt my heart shatter, and I fought the tears building in my eyes. "O-okay ..." I whispered. I started to get up, but I felt his hand close around my wrist.

"Bella, wait. Let's just have tonight, please. Don't leave." His voice broke on his last word, and that was enough. The part of me that always wanted to please him crawled back into bed with him.

My phone started beeping impatiently, and my heart stopped beating. I stood up and grabbed the test and instructions from beside the sink. There was a bright red plus sign beaming at me, and I didn't need the paper to know what that meant. I checked anyway, and I found out that what I didn't want to be true was. I gasped as my hand found its way to my lower stomach and I fell back to the floor, the crying starting up again.

"Oh Edward … I really need you right now … why did you have to leave me?"

A/N: I'm sure almost everyone expected it to be Edward, but I didn't mention his name in the flashbacks to make people antsy.

Please give me feedback! I love constructive criticism, it really helps me improve. I hope you enjoyed the prologue, and stick around for the rest of the story!