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::// { Snow White :: In the Style of Yullen }
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\: Chapter III :: Road Trip :/
::xoxox::
"Come on, go go go!" Allen playfully insisted.
"Don't fucking rush me, dammit!!" Kanda grumbled, slamming his suit case shut.
The two hurried down the floors in a childish race, and jumped onto a cheap horse-driven cart in disguises. Allen went as an old gentleman with a monocle and cane. The other as the driver. The people around couldn't not notice them--even in disguises they were too charismatic and gave away instantly. They were rather confused. Were they role playing, maybe?
"Hurry up, slowpoke!" the younger boy teased as he jumped down another flight of stairs.
"Gahh! You used Clown Belt to tie me to the handles, you fucking cheater!!" Kanda yelled irritably, tugging at his tied leg.
Allen stuck his tongue out at him.
Kanda ripped apart the Belt tying his leg with Mugen, then followed.
::xoxox::
Allen yawned in the hay, leaning on some empty wooden boxes. He had changed out of his silly disguise into a more comfortable sweater. "Yuu, where are we headed?"
"Far away. Far away from that insane, pathetic excuse for a man, or king." Kanda scowled.
"Are we eloping?" Allen asked boredly, taking a seat right in his arms. He was half joking. Just half.
"Ha, quit dreaming," the Asian said, smirking. He shuffled a bit to make space for Allen.
"Oh, that's just cruel," the younger one said, laughing lightly.
xxx
The trip consisted a lot of sight-seeing.
Allen bit on another stick of dango. "Oh, Yuu!! Look! That cow has a black patch that looks like a heart!!" Allen said excitedly.
"Henh, you fool," Kanda mocked, doubting that the 'heart' would look very much like a heart, but then looked to see that there was indeed such a cow with a black patch almost exactly shaped like a heart, he continued, "woah, that's trippy."
"Isn't it?" Allen looked up at him happily. Oh, he was just too cute.
xxx
Allen took out another random stick of dango, biting merrily on the first dumpling. But as soon as he looked away, catching attention of a tortoise on wheels in the middle of the woods, he heard a 'chomp' sound.
"Yuu?! What the!! Y-you ate my dango!!!" Allen fumed.
Kanda shrugged indifferently, "It was lotus root tempura flavoured. You had it coming."
Allen blinked. "Right, your favourite. How could I forget...?" Allen sighed, before smiling and feeding the last piece to Kanda. "Hmph... you're probably the only one who'd I'd willingly give my food to."
"Hah. Glutton. 'Can't you share?'"Kanda mocked. "Ring a bell, moyashi?"
Allen grumbled, defeated.
"Well, at least I got payback for all those times you stole my soba."
Allen smiled at that. Ah, good times.
xxx
"Uwahhh! The chickies are so cute..." Allen said, leaning his head out the window, some hay sticking out of his ruffled hair.
"Che. Those annoying things? It's like they exist to MAKE you step on them."
"They look good..." Allen drooled.
Kanda panicked with a look of horror on his face, realizing that Allen was thinking with his freaking pancreas, when looking at a baby chick, of all things.
xxx
[ 少しくらい笑いそうになれたらなんて ]*
Why was I able to smile a little?
[ 思ったりして大人ぶった ]
As I was thinking of a reason, I acted like an adult
[ 無邪気になって時めき ]
My innocent heart beating rapidly
[ 返してみた ]
I tried to return it
Allen sang merrily, picking flowers from a meadow they stopped at. Handpicking flowers of various sizes and colour, he strung them into a headdress, as he leaned against Kanda's back. He was meditating. Carnations, pinwheel-looking flowers, hydrangeas and smaller flowers of shades of blue and lavender decorated Allen's white tresses. He tied up the loose ends of another design, and plopped it on Kanda's head. White mongolia flowers were strung together with small purple nightshade-looking flowers, which complemented his beautiful strands of hair.
[ そんな頃の事懐かしいね ]
Thinking of that time makes me nostalgic
[ イイね ah~ イイね ah~ ハートに残る ]
It's great (Ah~) It's great (Ah~) It stays in my heart
[ 忘れないあの香り ]
I'll never forget that scent
"Kandaaa!" Allen called out.
Said 'Kanda' did not respond.
"...Oiiii! BaKandaaa!"
Still, silence.
"...Yuu!"
"Hn. What, brat?" Kanda asked, eyes open in a flash. "Oof!" he groaned as he was glomped lovingly to the ground by the younger boy. But still, Allen blamed Kanda for squishing his headdress.
xxx
Three-quarters to their destination, they ran into a little predicament. They were stopped by two obnoxious, self-proclaimed bandits. One was rather good-looking and had purple-tinted wild black hair, the other had messy long blonde hair and had his mouth stitched (as if it was fail-stitched by one of their maids, Miranda). However, their clothes showed so much skin it was more probable that they were male prostitutes. Or followers of Hard Gay. One or the other. Seriously, was that supposed to be intimidating or disturbing?
"HEY, YOU TWO! Stop riiigght there!" the dark-haired man exclaimed loudly, jumping in front of the poor couple's cart, pointing at them with a machine gun. Kanda halted for a second.
The two "victims" heard another gun being caulked. (Yep, caulk. Heehee.) "Yeah, yeah!! Allen Walker, give us everything you've got! Or you die!" the blonde demanded, giggling.
Devit tried explaining, "Your master, Marian Cross--He-Debt--UWAAAHHH!!"
Before he was so rudely cut off. Allen, who got pissed at his master's name even being mentioned (especially in the same sentence with "debt"), grabbed the horse strap, and urged the horses to just run their half naked asses over.
Jasdero wailed, "Are you insane?! We have guns pointed at your head and you just ignore it and try to crush us?!! That hurts, hee hee!!" He started shooting wildly at the cart, but Kanda dodged them easily. "Hee... I'll carve out your hearts!"
Meanwhile, Allen quickly dove under the machine gun before Devit could even try to pull the trigger again, and used his own neck as a lever while he used his right hand to pull it out of the attacker's grip. He used his elbow, then foot to shove Devit to the ground. Allen tossed the gun into the cart before smiling serenely at them, cracking his fists threateningly. "Sorry, but I'm afraid I know nobody by the name of Mario Crush."
Devit furiously swore wild profanities, "Hey you brat!! Don't deny it! YOUR master was the one that tried to frame US for robbery!!"
"Not our problem," Kanda said eerily as he tossed an unconscious Princess Peach (Jasdero) onto Devit. He threw Allen over his shoulder and jumped back onto the cart.
Allen pondered for a bit before reaching into his pocket. He pulled out some cash for the two twins. "Here, I'm sorry about my master. This isn't much... But please take it," Allen apologized kindly.
"Hey, bastard!! S-Stop groping me, damn you!" the silverette yelled. Kanda drove the cart past over a puddle and splashed mud all over the annoying brothers.
Jasdero cried for his dear deerskin vest. "Nooo, this was my favourite shiiirrrt!"
Devit looked into his hand. The money they were given was just $200 in Disney monopoly money. And with it was a heart-shaped card.
Dear my darling Sweetie,
Hi cutie pie! You looked sexerrific today. I wanted to just eat. You. Up. Call me~! CHU!
xoxo Cell: 020-319-2727
Email: Sherikins[at]yahoo[dot]com
Sincerely Yours, Sheryll Kamelot.
A mouth painted with lipstick was pressed at the bottom of the note.
Devit felt severely uncomfortable. Feeling a chill, he stabbed it to shreads with a dagger before cursing Allen Walker repeatedly for the humiliation he recieved.
::xoxox::
Allen couldn't stop fidgeting, he was so nervous. So many thoughts went through his head. He never thought that saying those three little words would be so damn difficult. He's always been so courageous, but... This was Kanda. How the hell do you confess to a prick who's in a way, your "brother"? And said prick hated cliches--for him, actions counted more than words. But Allen knew that he should say it at least once. He was a little worried--what if he read all the little signs of love wrong? What if Kanda didn't love him the same way Allen loves him? Ahhhh! He decided to just say it. If it doesn't work out, he can improvise.
From behind, Allen tightly embraced Kanda at his neck, burrowing his face to hide his embarrassment. "Yuu... Uhm... Thank you for taking care of me all these years..."
Kanda was surprised at first, but he stopped the cart to listen. The female horse's eyes sparkled, and watched intently while the male horse... Well, last time, lets just say he lost too much blood and almost had to be put down. Timcanpy kindly covered its ears with it wings.
"Every moment we've spent together has been precious to me... From our stupidest little fights to when I used to make up excuses so I could sleep in the same bed as you..." Allen continued, raising his head a little to meet Kanda's eyes. "I've long realized that the most important person to me... is you."
"Moyashi...?"
"Kanda Yuu... I... I-I LOVE Y-Y-YOGURT!!" Allen proclaimed.
A gust of wind flew by, and the female horse face palmed herself with her hoof.
"Pffffft!" Kanda burst out into snickers, trying to hold onto his bench so he won't fall over into uncharacteristic laughter. He smirked, "Henh, I love yogurt too, Moyashi."
Allen panicked at his screw-up. "Ah-Uhm... Craaaappp...." he cried. "Wait a minute--then why didn't you eat the Oomori soba-flavoured yogurt I got you?!" Allen fumed.
Kanda sighed a deep sigh. "I meant--gahh... Whatever. Anyway, I don't think anybody in their right mind would eat that thing.
Allen was crestfallen. "But, it was limited-edition!!"
"Gee, I wonder why," Kanda droned, lashing the horses. "Would you eat a mitarashi dango flavoured tofu?"
"That sounds delicious!!" Allen beamed with sparkling eyes.
"GO TO YOUR ROOM," Kanda demanded, pointing towards the cart's tent cover.
Allen went to sulk in the corner of the tent, threatening his wrist with a rather pointy stick.
::xoxox::
Their carriage traveled a few towns over. They've been on the road for hours and hours--much too long--at maximum speed.
"Oi! Moyashi, we're almost there!"
There was no reply. Maybe he was sleeping?
"Moyashi?" Kanda called again. He parked the cart and checked inside the tent. Allen was no where in sight. However, there was a huge rip in the tent. Oh god, that idiot probably fell out in his sleep. Timcanpy wasn't there either. The best bet was probably to stay in the area and wait for Allen to have Timcanpy find him.
::xoxox::
xx:OMAKE:xx Warning: Kind of mind scarring. There are OCs, children of you-can-guess. XD
See my other fic "Coming of Apocalypse" for more information.
"Nggh-ahhh..." a moan came from inside a sleek black SUV, which rocked back and forth deep in the large park. The night was dark, with few lamp lights. However, the stars out made up for the lack of light.
A raven-haired Asian man wrapped his arms around his lover from the back. He taunted Allen with a deep breath in the neck...
Then as suddenly as a snowball targets YOU, a large van skidded by, making a sharp stop at the side, as if the driver was purposely flaunting off his awesome driving skills. The said driver, Lucky Mikk, reached his hand out of driver's seat window, and tapped his cigarette twice to rid of the ash. Nero Kamelot slammed open the van's back seat door, revealing some sort of fancy lab. Both of them were dressed up in black business suits. She dashed to the couple's car, and unnecessarily attacked Kanda and his companion.
"GAHH!!! WHAT THE FU-?!" Kanda snapped as Nero sent her men to push him to the back of the car.
"Ehh?! Yuu!! What's going on I--" Allen panicked. "Oh my god, are we being attacked by pirates?!"
However, in actual truth, no. They were being attacked by Kabuki dancers. Who kept whacking their annoying fans at Kanda and his car!! Wait a minute-- there were half a dozen people there--how'd they all fit in the truck?!
"I GOT THE CONDOM!!!" She declared victoriously, holding up the pink strawberry-flavoured condom up with a clamp stick (which woefully belongs to William T. Spears). As for dramatic affect, she poked her sunglasses back into place with a finger Uryu Ishida style. Immediately after, she and her men leaped back into the van, slamming the door shut. Lucky and Nero gave eachother the thumbs-up, and drove off.
[ TAKE OFF YOUR STRIDE CONDOM AND WEAR A NEW PIECE, ALREADY. OR WE'LL FIND YOU. ]
STRIDE!! The ridiculously long-lasting condom.
"Why the fuck were we using a condom in the first place?!" Kanda complained. "This is gay sex!!!"**
Allen tried to shut him up. "BaKanda!! Not so damn loud!"
::xoxox::
*Song: HEART by Otsuka Ai.
**PEOPLE. XD If you've had multiple partners, USE A CONDOM! Even if it's gay sex. Unless you're tested before the... uhh... artful activity. Dot dot dot.
Author's Note: Uwaaaa. Finally uploaded! c: Sorry for the delay. XD" I just don't have time anymore...
(Well, not ENTIRELY true. I just dub my DS and PSP time "necessary free time". 8D Lawl.)
Anyway, this chappie was more fluff than humour, sorry. e we
NEXT TIME, the DWARVES ARE INTRODUCED! 8D Oh mah lawd. Oh. And how do you guys feel about the stuff about the poisoned apple? :C Should I do the corset too? But I need to find a replacement for a corset... ; A; --OH WAIT--I KNOW!! TWEWY (The World Ends With You/Subarashi Kono Sekai "It's a Wonderful World") REFERENCE! 8D Thanks guys, you are made of genius~! (Reader: *Didn't even do anything.* _)
And about the omake, it's a parody of the Stride Gum commercial. XD