hey, sorry I havent posted in a while I was uber busy and I wanted to make this chapter longer for you guys. Im a bit down though because I didnt get much response from the last one, am I doing okay? Have I totally stuffed up in anyway? Let me know please. I also have totally been forgetting to put disclaimers in recently so YES I DO OWN TWILIGHT! MUAHAHA, suck that Stephenie Meyer :)
I have had major inspiration for this chapter from the song "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap, so please listen to it as you read this chapter. you tube .com/watch?v=32uLBL9o-Pc, it fits so well with whats going on. Its about a break up for someone else. "Hide and Seek" symbolizes the mistresses' search for the truth about her lover's love life, which he tries desperately to hide. The "trains and sewing machines" would represent the cheating lover's child and wife, respectively, who were "there first", before the beginning of the adulterous relationship. The mistresses' reaction to the idea of her lover belonging to another woman is expressed through "the takeover, the sweeping insensitivity". His censorship of the truth and of his feelings are represented through "newspaper word cutouts" and "mid-sweet talk". The "ransom notes" falling out of the cheater's mouth signify how he has freed his mistress by breaking off the relationship, but has taken her heart in exchange. She feels used, and thus does not believe any expression of emotion her cheating lover tries to appeal to her with ("speak no feeling, no, I don't believe you"), stating only that he "doesn't care a bit". I feel it is the perfect song so pleaseee listen to it while you read (:
Chapter 8
Jaspers POV
Never underestimate the pain of a person because the truth is everyone is struggling. It's just some people hide it better than others.
Mm what'cha say?
Mm that it's all for the best
Of course it is
Mm what'cha say?
Mm that it's just what we need
You decided this?
We all stood there in shock. None of us knew what to do or what had just happened. I for one had been sitting in my new room reading an "accurate tale of the Civil War Era", when I heard someone start screaming. At first I thought it may have just been Rose screaming from a trick played by Emmett but then when a wall of great depression reached me I fell off my chair in pain. There was no way that someone is okay when they are holding such strong emotions as that. I quickly got up off the ground and followed the sound of the ear peircing yell. I have never felt anyone hold so much pain, not even when I was staying with Maria had I felt emotions like that, and thats saying alot. I quickly opened the door of my old room and felt the presence of the rest of the Cullens' behind me. The sight before me was heartbreaking, I have never felt more alone and rejected in my life but these werent my emotions. They were Bellas'.
Bella was curled up in the corner near the wide window rocking herself sitting upright in the foetal position. If it werent for my vampire hearing I wouldn't have heard the mantra she was unknowingly muttering to herself over and over. "Liars, the lie. theyre liars'' she kept repeating and I understood what had brought on these emotions. My eyes caught sight of the upturned rubbish bin that had a few ripped up photos poking out through the old sketches. Even without enhanced vision I could clearly see a photo of Alice and Edward in a passionate embrace kissing, it never occurred to me to wonder how long it went on, and to be honest I really didnt want to know. But when I looked at the photo I knew that Bella had thought the exact same thing I was. They were together long before we were. My stomach dropped through my butt and onto the floor, how Bella had been coping with her desertment was astounding, but really it was obvious that she wasn't coping very well. Her heart was breaking all over again, the invisible stitches she had slowly sown together were being torn apart.
Everyone else in the room was slowly putting all the pieces together and were radiating various emotions. Hate, sadness, sorrow, care even guilt. I wondered for a second about the guilt and decided to ask about it later. "Bella dear, whats the matter?" Esme asked with care colouring her voice. No response. Bella continued to rock herself backwards and forwards muttering the same line over and over to herself. Esme was clearly hurt that she got no response but understanding under toned her emotions clearly expecting nothing less. Then Emmett decided he could help her, Emmett walked forward to Bella and placed his hand on her shoulder and opened his mouth to speak but didnt get very far when Bella stood up quicker than Id ever seen and hit his hand away. What happened next scared everyone, even me.
"DONT TOUCH ME AGAIN! HAVENT YOU DONE ENOUGH?! YOUR A LIAR, YOU LIED TO ME! DONT TOUCH!" she yelled with eyes bloody red glassing over and before any of us could react she threw herself out the window and across the field and into the forest. So here we all are, rooted to the carpet with masks of shock permanetly glued to our faces. At least three minutes passed before any of us spoke. "She's not moving on like we thought she was," Carlise evaluated. I nodded my head, "'er emotions' were somethin' I never ha' experienced before" I said with a shudder. Everyone turned to look at me, presumably because I havent spoke without my accent in decades. Once everyone felt the urge to stop staring at me Carlise spoke again, "we need to calm her down and get her back." We all nodded at this but none of us knowing who to go. "I will," I volunteered. "Yes, yes. That would be best..." Carlise trailed off. He walked over to me, patted my back and walked out. Everyone felt the need to be alone until I came back with Bella.
As Esme was about to leave she gave me a tight hug and whispered in my ear, "please, please be careful. I can't stand to lose anymore of my children." I nodded and walked over to the window Bella had just broken. I closed my eyes and stepped out, height no longer being a problem. It then occurred to me that I had no idea where Bella would go, I knew that he often took her to some meadow in the forest but I doubt that she would go there. By now the sun was starting to set and it was getting dark, it wasn't a problem but it just made me uncomfortable. I closed my eyes once more and inhaled deeply, and caught Bellas' scent. He had always described it as a freesia and strawberry smell, which was true but hardly. Those smells inter-weaved with the dominant coconut, vanilla and cinnamon it was possibly one of the best smelling aromas I had smelt in years. Last time I had smelt something that appealing lets just say it didnt end well. I didn't have a huge problem with my thirst but it was still uncomfortable.
I let my legs guide me through the foliage weaving in and out of the trees, even up the trees. After about half an hour of roaming I had travelled far over town to Bellas' house, this was bad. If she had come back here she may be seen, which wouldnt go over to well with anyone. I crept to the back of the house staying in the trees until I could see a dark womanly outline, Bella wasn't thin but she wasn't fat either she was much more womanly and shorter than the other females in our family. I debated internally whether or not I should approach because this just seemed eeiry, she was just standing there out the back of her house staring up at it. I finally decided that it was why I came here so I slowly walked over to her until I was two feet behind her. "Darlin', it's Jasper. Are you okay, you gav' us all qui' a scare before." I spoke quietly scared to say too much. Bella just stood there staring up at the house, her body rigid. I walked slowly around her until I was face to face with her, well face to chest.
Her eyes were dead, there was no longer a red glint behind her big eyes. They were void of all emotions, completely lifeless. This scared me, I couldnt feel her emotions she was cutting them off from me. I bent my knees so I could see eye to eye with her, "Bella darl', please speak ta me. Ya scarin' me." I said laying the Southern accent on thick hoping to draw her back. I heard Bella muttering something that I barely recognised. "Nothing in his life became him like the leaving it; he died as one that had been studied in his death to throw away the dearest thing he owed" she said with defeat. "He left," she spoke with much pain. "He lied, he told me he never would unless it was for the best. I guess she was the best," Bella said with a sigh. My heart broke for her, Edward and Alice both manipulated her. I never really got along with Edward because he was so possessive and needy so I didn't feel his loss as much as Bella did. She lost her best friend and a lover.
It didnt even occur to me that she also had the death of her father hanging over her head, this girl had so much going on. "Did ya want ta go in?" I asked quietly hoping not to get a ear full. She nodded morosely and walked to the back door. She lent against the door framed and a panel of wood popped out revealing a set of keys, I smiled at the Swans' secret hiding spot then swallowed at the grief this house would probably bring Bella. She opened the door and looked back at me silently asking if I was going to follow, I gave a small nod and followed her in. Her house was so Bella, it was simple and showed signs of love and nurture. I immediately felt at home. I walked slowly behind Bella presumably continuing to her room. Along the way I saw lots of pictures of Bella in her childhood and picked up a few thinking she would like to keep a little bit of her past. We got to her room and I followed in after her, taking in her scentless room. No one had been in here in at least two months, it was saddening. Two incredibly dead creatures in a dead house. How ironic.
I walked over to her empty bookcase wondering where all the books had gone too, from what it appeared Bella liked to read. "Under the bed," Bella whispered while reaching up above the wardrobe to grab a suitcase. I raised an eyebrow and looked under the bed where several things had started to collect dust, including a large box titled "Books". He had made her not want to read again, he just seemed to ruin everything didn't he? I placed the box on top of Bellas' small single bed, and noticed a small white card sitting on her pillow. I picked it up and turned it over and over in my hands, clearly the writing was Edwards' but the message was something I could not understand. All it read was simply "Soon," I decided against showing it to Bella as she too would recognise the writing. I looked up at Bella who was busy shifting through her wardrobe clearly deciding what clothes to pack into the suitcase.
"Why not bring them all?" I asked curiously. She slowly turned to look at me with a vacant expression on her face, I looked to her hands and noticed she had two shirts in her hands holding them up to me. I realised she was silently asking me which one, "The red one." I said. "But why not both Bella?" I asked again. I was silently begging her to reply, her deafening silence was scaring me. She looked at me like it was obvious. "If I take them all, it will be suspcious," she mumbled then turned back to the wardrobe. This made sense but it broke my heart that she couldnt take everything she wanted. I walked over to her side and turned to face her, "want me ta help ya, darl'?" I drawled softly. All she did was shrug her shoulders and continued choosing between two pairs of jeans, a holey light blue pair and straight dark blue pair. "The holes," I said quietly hoping for a response. She simply nodded agreeing with me, then placed the folded jeans into her suitcase. I looked up to her wardrobe and noticed that almost half it was left. It was so sad to see her life left behind.
"Do you need me to get anything for you?" I asked moving to her desk. I picked up her old orange macbook and old blue iPod and walked over to place them in her suitcase. I figured she would like to keep her music and computer with her, we could always stage a robbery or something if it became a problem. She nodded when she noticed me putting them in the suticase and continued over to her drawers. She pulled the first one open and quickly shut it, then she opened the second one and pulled out a dark cobalt book that I assumed was her diary. She sat it on top of the laptop and walked out of the room not saying a word. I followed her earnestly wondering where she was heading. She turned the corner and paused at a old door with its white paint peeling of in various spots, it then occurred to me that this was her fathers room. I feared that this would send Bella into another spiral of depression but she proved me wrong when she suddenly pushed open the door and walked straight in to the bedside table.
She picked up a small wooden photo frame and let out a small sob, I walked over to her and looked over her shoulder. In the photo was a slightly younger Charlie and a woman who looked similar as to what Bella did now but there was a glint of happiness in her eyes that was no longer present in Bellas'. Wrapped up in yellow blankets was a small child with big brown doe eyes and the palest of skins, it then occurred to me that this was Bella, the beautiful woman in front of me. Her eyes were shimmering with tears that would never fall, and I reached out to touch her shoulder. She jumped back from my touch and gave a out a small yelp, "sorry," she whispered. Bella walked over to the set of drawers near the window and opened the third drawer pulling out an old grey sweatshirt. She held it to her face and breathed in the scent of her fathers' old police academy shirt. From across the room I could strongly smell Charlies' scent of sandalwood, tea leaves and oak it was such a homey smell I could feel comfortable whenever I smelt it.
"Bella darl', hav' ya gotten everythin ya'll need?" I asked quietly, making my way slowly out of the room. "Yes, Im ready," Bella whispered following me out of her fathers' room. I walked back into her room and held my hands out for her fathers' belongings, before putting them in with the rest of the photos, clothes and her laptop and ipod. I zipped it up and picked it up heading down the stairs after making sure Bell was following behind me with her books. I went back out the back door and stopped near a tree while Bella locked the door and hung up the keys again. She met me by the tree and we walked in silence to the fringe of the forest where we continued on back to the house. I suddenly felt a wave of nervousness and looked at Bella wondering why of all emotions she sent me nervousness. I decided to ignore it and kept walking slowly by her side, wondering what she was thinking of. We had walked around for five more minutes when she stopped near a large moss covered boulder and sat down and sighed.
"How do you do it?" she said with defeat. I was confused and unsure of what she was talking about so I walked over to her and placed the suitcase on the ground, and bending down to her level. "What darlin'?" I asked sending her my confusion. "Living, well what we are reduced to. How can you stand to live when you know the things that were most important to you are gone, and that they'll never come back no matter how hard you try." Bella said finally looking up at me. I honestly didnt know what to say in response to that, I couldnt remember a time when I wanted someone to come back because I never had anyone when I was human. I wanted to pull her in and console her but I had a bad feeling giving her a hug would give a similar response as to when Emmett touched her shoulder.
"Bella, ya need ta keep strong, for Esme, for Carlise, for Charlie," I whispered the last part as not to upset her. "Charlie would wan' ya to keep ya'll hope strong, if not for him but for yourself," I said pushing out as much courage to her as I could manage. "I dont know how Jasper, what am I supposed to do?" she dry sobbed with the most gutwretching look on her face. She sat there crying tears that would never fall, "Just take it one step at a time darl'", I said looking into her eyes that suddenly held so much depth. "I feel so bad, if I never fell in love with him Charlie would still be alive, how am I supposed to live with that?" she wailed. "Shhh, Bella. It's startin' ta rain again we need ta get your stuff back before dawn. Someone will probably come looking for ya at Charlies' house and I wouldn't want ya to feel that much physical pain just of yet." I said standing up brushing the dirt off my knees.
Bella slowly got up and brushed moss off her pants and picked up the box full of books. She had cut off her emotions again as we walked slowly back to the Cullens' in the rain. Her blocking her emotions from me was really starting to bother me, it basically concluded that she was hiding something really bad and it worried me alot. We were nearly back at the house when I heard my phone beep so I placed the suitcase down and checked it.
"Where are yous? Are you okay, do you need help?
- Rose xo"
I closed the phone without replying because it seemed pointless because we were almost there anyway. "That was just Rose wondering where we were," I said hoping to get Bella to open up again but I wasnt that lucky. All Bella did was nod and continued to walk at a slow pace. I sighed and picked up the bag and followed after her again, going through the clearing to the house. When we reached the river Bella jumped over gracefully as if she had been a vampire for decades rather then days, I shook my head and followed suit. I could feel the emotions of the rest of the family and I knew that they shouldnt be standing around waiting for Bella as it would probably only scare her more. I could feel endless amounts of worry so I sent them back some worry hoping theyd get the drift that they should go away for awhile. I heard a few steps retreat upstairs and I some more going to the living room, I figured it was Emmett because I could soon heard the sound of buttons being hit a little too hard.
We walked up the steps to the front door, me taking the lead. I looked back at Bella but was met with only a blank stare so I opened the door slowly going back inside the house. I heard several sighs radiate from the house at our arrival but this didnt make me feel anymore happier to be home, it still provided memories of Alice which I was trying to repress. I still loved her but not in the same way as cliche as that sounds, we had been together for years but we hadnt really been together for years. We just lost our spark, so to speak. Then on top of that I always had the feeling that her and Edward shared something more than just remarkable gifts, all the hunting trips she refused to join me on and would only go with Edward suddenly became so obvious I felt stupid.
"Hey there!" Emmett boomed from the lounge room with too much enthusiasm. "Hey Em," I called softly back following Bella back up to her room to place her belongings down. I entered her room and saw her almost immediately start unpacking her clothes into the small but beautiful wardrobe in front of her. "Bella, if ya feel you want a bigger wardrobe or more clothes dont hesitate in buying it. I know Carlise gave ya a credit card and I know that ya'll use it a couple times to make him happy but buy something that will make you happy for once. You dont need to be so selfless all the time, you need a bookcase anyway." I grinned. Bella nodded slowly and went back to unpacking her clothes and belongings. I gave her a shot of famial love and turned to leave when I heard her whisper, "Thanks". "Anytime sweetheart," I whispered back before leaving the room.
I walked down to Carlises' study and knocked before entering the big room. "Hello son, how did it go?" Carlise asked as soon as I shut the door, as this was the only soundproof room in the house. Even though we all wish that Emmetts' and Roses' was, maybe I should suggest that at the next family meeting, I chuckled at that thought. I sat down in the comfy arm chair across from his desk and tried to gather my thoughts. "She's not okay, I don't know how long it will take for 'er to be 'ole again but she is broken. She has found a way to block 'er emotions from me, and this scares me. She has to be hidin' something horrible to want to 'ide them," I said in Major mode. Carlise nodded but I could feel his fear beneath it all. "Where did she go?" Carlise finally asked. "'er house, she wanted to collect some of 'er belongings, she wouldn't take many because she thought it would be suspicious if people came to the house to investigate," I said all while Carlise was nodding.
"She took some clothes, 'er books which were already packed away, and some other things like photos, 'er laptop, ipod your know just stuff about her human life," I rambled. My expression darkened, "she also took 'er fathers shirt, she misses him so much. If she wasnt a vampire I swear she wouldnt have stopped crying for days. She was all he had and now she feels guilty about his death. If I ever get my hands on Edward, I swear he wont see another sunset," I growled. "Jasper," Carlise sighed. He felt his absence nearly as much as Bella did, he was his first companion and he personally felt like he had failed. "Carlise, dont "Jasper" me. He killed her father, one of two blood relatives she had left. Her mother may be in danger, if her mother died so would she. Bella is so broken I dont know if she will survive this." I said with sadness. Bella always seemed so strong, always able to stand up to the weight on her shoulders. I guess she just couldnt handle it anymore, so she crumbled.
Carlise looked so defeated when I looked into his eyes, I guess he only wanted everything to be normal again. His emotions were telling be of how he longed to be a family again, I felt so bad for him. I leant forward and placed my hand on his, "dont worry dad, everythin' will work out eventually," I said with a weak grimace. He nodded and turned his head to stare out the window, "You should help her, you would be good for her. You are the only the who is remotely close to what she is feeling," he said facing back to me. I nodded and left the room quickly, eager to see if Bella wanted a hunt. I walked to her room then stopped outside her door, floored by the emotions she was feeling. Regret, hurt, worthlessness, depression. I fell to my knees with pain, her emotions were so strong I wasn't even sure she know she was projecting. I stood back up slowly and knocked on her door, she didnt reply so I entered straight in. She didnt acknowledge my presence, so I walked closer to her.
She was sitting in the window seat with her arms wrapped around her knees hugging them close to her body. Her head was resting on the top of her knees as she was watching the raindrops race down the window. The sight looked so sad, if I were human I would have cried. I looked over to her bed side and saw that she set up some of the photos we took back from her house. There was one I remembered from the spring break where we all went for a picnic up in the mountains, we were all huddled together Esme and Carlise with their arms around each other, Rose on Emmetts back with matching Cheshire Cat grins on their face. Emmett had his arm over Bellas shoulder where she stood with a small smile playing on her lips. Behind Bella I stood with my hand resting on nothing the frame interupting the photo. I picked up the photo and took off the back, Bella had cut the photo so that Alice where my hand ended was no longer there, where Edward once sat at their feet. She had removed them from the family photo just as easily as they did.
I put the back back on and sat it down back in its place. I walked over to Bella and sat at her feet trying to catch her attention. Her face was just as empty as it had been when we arrived home. I listened closely and realised that she was singing softly under her breathe the most sweetest tune,
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Ah of course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's just what we need? And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?
What did she say?
Her voice was so sweet that it turned the most saddest song even more beautiful. I snapped out of my reverie and decided she needed to get moving. "Bella darl', you need to hunt. Would you care to join me?" I said as gentlemanly possible standing up offering my hand to her. I waited a minute for her to think until she stood up not taking my hand and slowly crossed the room. I sighed and followed after her down the hallway, where you could hear everyone in their respective rooms whispering to their mate. Everyone was clearly worried about Bella but they didnt want to trigger another reaction like before in Alices' room. I couldnt no longer call it my room knowing that she and Edward has most likely desecrated it with their distrust. I often wondered where they had gone too, but I had to keep telling myself not to care as I would be setting myself up for a world of pain.
Bella walked straight out the front door without saying a word and walked slowly accross the lawn to the waters edge, I softly closed the behind me as a small gesture that the rest of the family could come out of their rooms now. I watched as she gracefully jumped across the river and broke out into a small jog into the forest fringe. I used my vampire speed to catch up to her quickly and trailed behind her, but I thought maybe I should take the lead so that if we ran into any humans I could prevent her from attacking. I was feeling quite bad about the whole situation, Bella always was such a good person who always put others before her and now it had been thrown in her face. I felt so guilty and bad for her but then suddenly all was calm and I felt much more relaxed then I was before. This freaked me out so I spun around quickly trying to find out what had done that but there was only Bella in the area so I looked into her dulling red eyes that were full of confusion and shrugged it off.
We jogged for around ten more minutes when we both smelt an animal, I knew that it was a mountain lion but she didn't so her body went tense at anticipation. "It's just an animal Bella, dont freak," I reassured her. "Could you tell me what it is?" I asked softly. She closed her eyes and smelt deeply then all of a sudden her eyes snapped open and her hands curled in defence. "Mountain lion," she hissed between her teeth. She continued to amaze me with her scent recognition. "How so?" I asked pushing for information. "It smells like him," she growled through her clenched teeth, "oh", was my witty response. "It smells like honeysuckle and elderberries, then theres a stench of raw evil. It doesn't have a particular but its him," she whispered quietly to no one in particular. She had forgotten I was here. I figured that she would rather not eat mountain lion so I walked into a different direction away from it. We walked to a small clearing with a tiny lake to catch a few deer, thought Bella hadnt spoken again. We both felt it before we saw it, we heard a low grumble come from behind us. Bella dropped her small deer suddenly and looked at me for guidance.
I nodded my head to her encouraging her on towards the grizzly bear. She ran out fast to the bear who didnt see her coming as it was too preoccupied with the deer carcases. Bella jumped into the tree above its head and fell onto his back and latched her teeth into his thick neck before he could take another breath. She was so majestic while hunting, she didnt go for stealth, she in a way played with her food like Emmett but she was still sutle about it. She drained the bear almost instant and let it dropped at her feet, landing gracefully back on the rocks. She gave me a weak smile and started to dig holes for the bodies without asking me to help. I figured she wanted to show me how she was coping when we both knew that it was a lie. Since Bella was trying to show me she better she must have been getting a tiny bit better because she wanted to make everyone around her happy but I still didnt believe her, her emotions were her biggest betrayer. Her heart was broken into tiny microscopic pieces that under a magnifying glass showed every razor sharp edge waiting to cut who ever trying to put it back together. But deep inside me I was willing to take that risk, because if that were me I would want someone willing to do that for me. In a weird way, Bella was my idol. I looked up to her because she was so broken but was still trying to shove her pieces back together for everyone else. I wish that I could be that selfless. Bella truly was a unique creature, not just in her looks but her personality shown through everything. I watched Bella from a distance picking out the differences now that she was a vampire. She was slightly taller, but not by much maybe 3 inches taller than Alice. Her hair had grown those few extra inches going from just below her breast to her abdomen. The red highlights were more noticeable as well as the dull light brown shimmers in the sun. Overall she still looked as beautiful as before, she was just more defined.
As I come back to reality I realised that Bella was watching me with a raised eyebrow waiting to go. She immediately dropped her head, her hair cascading over her face hiding herself from me. "Lets go home," I said turning and leaving the clearing. I felt her footsteps behind me dragging slowly then I realised something that might give her a pick up. I turned around and nearly collided with her, I gave a grin and stepped back. "Let race back," I asked with a mischievous grin. Bella looked shocked and started to mumble, "I dont know Jasper I dont really-" then she ran off ahead of me. I was so shocked, what a little cheater. I chased after her dashing through the forest, barrelling over trees. I could hardly see her in front of me, even without her newborn speed she was going to be fast. Probably faster than Edward. As we were reaching the house Bella turned near the river facing me with a small smug smile playing on the edge of her full lips. "Sorry Jasper, it was my turn to cheat though," she said in a small voice and walked off.
I stood there in awe of what just happened, Bella just confessed she cheated and compared it to Edward. She was so out of line, she should never compare herself to him. I stood out on the grass for at least five minutes until I heard her door shut and a soft playing of music start. I shook my head and went inside and straight up to my new room I had claimed soon after Alice left. The room strangely felt like home, home as in Texas. It was painted a dusty yellow orange with dark wood furniture pushed to the sides. I had a small couch that was floral patterned near the window for when I felt like being alone. I went over to the corner of my room and picked up my guitar, the one real possession I had kept since my human life. I hadnt played it in decades, Alice always told me it was annoying and that she preferred instruments like piano, I guess I know why. Its a fairly standard acoustic guitar, but the neck was decorated with a vine-flower-like pattern. I smiled to myself, it used to be my mothers which she designed herself.
Hell, it was a bit girly but it kept me in touch with my roots. Before long I was trying out different chord progressions and seeing which fit untill I found one that was just right, then I started to hum in my head words. I didnt need to write them down, I would remember them for all my existance. That was one thing I was thankful for, I remembered everything, but then again it could be bad I thought shuddereing remembering the time I forgot to knock on Emmetts' door one time. I would never forget that. I was stuck on a line so I went put my guitar over my shoulder and walked down the house and into the back yard and sat on a bench sheltering me from the rain. I sat there for half an hour just thinking of what to put in words when I felt someone sit on the grass in front of me. I opened my eyes and smiled.
"Hello Bella." She nodded and gave a small smile. "What are you playing?" she asked quietly. I decided to just tell the truth. "To be honest Bella, I wrote a song for you. You are in a way my idol, I wrote this for whenever you need a pick me up," I said quieter than her. She was shocked to say the least. Her eyes gave a small sparkle and gave a week smile, "Can I hear it?" I nodded, "but its not perfect, Im a bit rusty," I warned. She nodded once more before I started to strum out a slow intro. "Im not the best singer either," I said with a chuckle.
"She walks like rain, gliding gracefully.
She keeps her head low, scared of the world.
but what she can never see,
is the way she has me held.
she is so strong,
but will never see it.
oh boy is she wrong,
how hard she can hit.
she is so selfless,
like you would never know.
but she can be so helpless,
her emotions can bring me low.
if your met such a person,
you would never be the same.
my respect for her would never lessen,
she would never seek fame.
she is a Godess,
sent from above.
he was so heartless,
not worth her love."
I finally looked up at Bella to see tears shimmering around her eyes with a smile on her face. I gave her a smile back just glad she enjoyed it. Her emotions were going haywire, she was sending out so much thankfulness and content that I thought I was going to explode. She got up and sat next to me giving me a sideways hug, "thank you," she mumbled into my side sending out love. I gave her a tight squeeze back, and sat my guitar down. What she said next shocked me. "I want to get better, not just for you guys. But for myself, I wont let him destroy my life. I want to live again," she said never raising her head. "Thats great," I replied and thats all I said as we sat there and watched the rain.
Hope you liked it, if anyone is really interested I have pictures of their products and shiz on my profile so feel free to look.
Now remember, reviews make a happy author who wont make the Cullen guys gay.
OHH and thanks to Sinvisigoth, your review made me smile for AGES! 'PS. Could you make "two of them gay instead of just one? I would love to see Emmett and Carlisle prancing around in pink frocks and singing I'm a Barbie Girl to each other while comparing nail varnish colours :D" BEST REVIEW YET. You should also read their "Broken Saints" and "Supercharged" they are really good.
- Echo : )