Where do we Stand
Not mine, I own nothing… but, I can always dream....
Alex stood outside Olivias' room, feelings of trepidation lurked behind ice blue eyes. She slowly moved forward, warding off any anxiety that tried to creep into her consciousness. Alex focused on the steady cadence of Olivia's heart monitor, looking from the line marking Olivias visual heart beat, Alex scanned the room. Noting the I.V.'s, and tubes running to Olivia, then she took in the detective who sat silently next to Olivia's bed. His hand limply held Olivias' fingers, his head hung down to his right, a light snore passed through Elliot's lips. Alex smiled, despite the situation she couldn't help but feel a tug at her heart. A big tough detective Elliot Stable had a soft spot, who knew. She could see the brotherly love he held for his partner and knew there wasn't nothing he wouldn't do to help Olivia out.
Elliot stirred, the hairs on the back of his neck alerting him to someone else near by. Raising his head, rubbing his neck with his free hand, he looked around the room. Alex stood next to the bed on the opposite side of the room, gazing at Olivia with her pale eyes. He noted the edge of tiredness he found in her eyes, the past day had been trying on them all, even more so on her.
"Hey, your back!" Elliot stated, trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah, I did a flight of the bumble bee through my home and took a quick shower. I didn't want to be gone long... you know, I just don't want to be gone long...from, you know... from her" she sighed.
Elliot nodded in aggreement.
"So, how's our girl?"
Elliot sighed and looked to the bed. "Well, she seems to be doing ok, they said she is in a drug induced coma, that it'll help her body recover and help her with pain control, I just don't like her not breathing on her own. I'm worried, naturally."
"We all are, I just wished she wasn't hurt." Alex looked to Elliot, "I really messed up this time, uh?"
"Yeah, but you know Liv, she loves the messed up ones more," Elliot looked from Olivia to Alex. "Ya know, she's tuff, she won't let this keep her down."
"Yeah, I know, I know..." Alex sighed.
It had been almost a week since Olivia had arrived in the Intensive Care Unit, and Alex had not left her side unless she was forced by the medical staff or needed to take of personal necessities. She took over excercising the detectives legs and arms, preventing them from atrophying while she lay dormant in the hospital. Today, found Alex reading the New York Times to Olivia, giving her beloved an up date on the city's court house news. Nothing to pressing, just something to keep her voice going and give Olivia something to listen to.
Sighing, Alex looked up from the paper, "Oh, Liv, please come back to us, I made such a big mistake." Leaning over, Alex gently touched Olivia's hand, letting the detective know she was still there. "I hope you know how much I love you and what a fool I have been..."
Leaning over, Alex gently kissed the top of Olivia's hand, letting the detective know she was still there, and hoping she could feel her love for the detective.
Walking in, reading from a clipboard found in her hand was the doctor. With a relaxed smile on her face the doctor took in her patient and her company. "Well, it looks like our patient is on the mend..." spoke the doctor as she looked up from her clipboard.
Alex turned to look at the intruder. "Uh?"
"Our patient. She is doing well, so I am going to start the procedure to bring out of the coma."
Alex hopes seemed to spread throughout her like a wildfire, grinning from the inside out Alex leaned forward to listen more intently to what the doctor was saying.
"We'll begin by reducing the amounts of gamma hydroxybutyrate," the doctor said looking over to Alex. Noting the look of confusion, Dr. Foster clarified, "That's the drug we have been using to keep her comatose. Don't be shocked if she can recall bits and pieces of conversation we have held in her presence. The drug allows for a depressed level of consciousness, she will be disoriented and may even think she dreamed the conversations she has heard..." the doctor paused looking to Alex for understanding.
Alex nodded her head in understanding, yet still her head was reeling from the information she was being feed.
The good doctor continued, "We are going to leave the breathing tube in for the time being, and because of that, we may have to restrain her wrist if she tries to pull or tug at the tubing. But we don't think she will."
"Is she still having problems breathing... can she be awake with the tube in her?" Alex asked.
"She will have issues breathing for a while, if you recall, she had received some serious damage to her lung. She is breathing a little on her own, but we like for our patients to be able to breath 65% by themselves before we relieve them from the mechanical support they are receiving. Patients have been awake and alert while hooked to ventilators, our open heart surgery patients are one of the number one users of ventalitors. This is a common procedure for patients who have weekend lungs do to trauma, heart ailments and other medical conditions," clarified the doctor.
Alex nodded her understanding as the doctor continued...
"She will have to receive breathing treatments and do regiments of breathing exercise to get her lungs back in shape, but that wont take place until she is off of the ventilator. We will also continue with the leg and arm exercises you have been helping administer to her. We will also begin some testing to see if there has been anymore trauma to motor reflexes and test to see what the extent is to muscle control she will have."
Again, Alex nodded, more than glad to help in anyway she could. She knew Olivia was independent, but she would have to convince her along with the medical staff to except some help at first. Olivia could work her way back to total independence, though Alex hoped she wouldn't want total independence from her, only time would tell.
"How long will it take for her to wake up?"
The doctor pondered for a moment before speaking. "Well, it varies from patient to patient and depends not only on their physical health but their mental health and their bodies metabolism." Taking a breath she continued, "The detective was in great physical shape before her accident, and from what I have heard about her she is self sufficient, determined woman. I'm speculating she may wake within hours of being winged off of the medication."
Alex's mind was flying at the speed of light, questions popping in her head before she ask one another one was there. "You said something about testing her motor skills or reflexes, what do you mean?"
"It is common for patients to have slow reflexes and sometimes lose certain functions. In this case, with the type of injuries she sustained from the gunshot, she may have some complications with sitting, walking and even bodily functions like going to the restroom," explained the doctor. Noting the look of concern on Alex's face, she quickly soothed, "But that doesn't always happen, some people wake up, make a quick recovery and are home within a week. Right now, let's just get her awake and breathing on her own, okay?" Grinning, the doctor looked from Olivia to Alex.
Alex smiled back, thinking how great it would be to look into those velvet brown eyes and speak to Olivia know she would hear her. She would worry about the other stuff when they came to it, if it even came to that. She hoped for they wouldn't have to deal with any more serious issues.
"I'm going to write up the order so we can begin reducing her medication, and we will monitor her vitals more closely and go from there. Okay?"
Alex grinned and nodded her head excitedly as the doctor made a few more notes on the clipboard. As the doctor left the room Alex was picking up the phone, she dialed a number that was quickly becoming all to familiar to her.
"Stabler!"
"Uhm, Elliot... it's me"
"Whats wrong, something happened to Liv?"
"No, well, not bad... the Dr. is going to start reducing her meds and bring her out of the coma... the nurse should be in here in a few to start the procedure. I, uh, I thought I would tell you and let you spread the word..." Alex sniffed with tears of joy running down her cheeks. She couldn't contain her happiness.
"Woo Hoo..." Elliot crowed, pumping his fist in the air. Heads turned to see what the commotion was. Elated, he called to out to his colleagues that they were going to wake his partner up. In the background, Alex could several whistles and jubilant calls of hurray being echoed through out the bullpen.
"Well detective, I am going to get off of here, and see what I can do, if anything at all, K?"
"That's great Alex, keep us posted and I will drop by this evening after work and check in on you two. Do you need me to bring anything?" Elliot inquired.
"I don't think so, maybe later."
"K!" Elliot flipped his phone shut disconnecting the two.
Alex turned back toward the bed and returned the receiver back to the phones cradle on the night stand.
About an hour after the doctor had left the head nurse came in to record Olivia's vitals and started trimming back the drip to her I.V. Alex looked on with hope filled curiosity. She waited till nurse was done fussing with the patient to speak up.
"When will you all be taking her of the medication that is keeping her asleep?"
"Oh, hun, that's what I'm doing now. Sorry I didn't say anything..." the nurse spoke gently to her.
"Oh, o.k..." Alex stated, looking a little confused.
"All I have to do is turn this little wheel here, change the drip rate here on this machine and it slows the medicine flow down. It will eventually come to a halt and then she will be free of medicine. We are increasing the dose of her pain medication, she'll be on that for some time."
"Oh! How long do you think it will be before she starts waking up?"
"Could be almost immediately, she was on a low dose to begin with." The nurse smiled sweetly.
She continued to fuss over Olivia until she was satisfied she couldn't do anymore for the time being, then parted shortly afterwards, leaving Alex alone with Olivia.
Alex scooted closer to Olivia taking her hand in hers. She began to gently rub her thumb over Olivia's hand. "So, you'll be awake soon. I know you may not here me, but I just want you to know that I love you. I have been such a coward, thinking I would be better off with out you. God what a fool I have been. I know I have said this several times this past week, but I need you and I want to make it right."
"I'm going to prove to you that I love you. No matter what, you'r stuck with me." Alex smiled again, patiently waiting to see those chocolate orbs she loved so much. Olivia still did not stir, it seemed the minute hand on the clock decided to go slower than usual. Alex waited, her eyse drifting between Olivia's face and the clock, hope and anticipation kept her dancing in her seat, shifting to and fro.
It had been several hours since the nurse had started the tapering off Olivia's medication that had kept her in a catatonic state. Sitting patiently at the bedside of Olivia was Alex. Hope, fear, and anticipation reflected in her eyes as exhaustion draped itself across her shoulders. Weariness began to take hold of the attorneys body. Leaning closer to the bed, Alex slumped her body over and rested her head next to Olivia's hand that she still held delicately in her own. Eyes drifted shut as a pair of disoriented brown one cracked open, only to slam shut again. Alex snuggled closer, mumbling words of love as she began to drift.
A groan startled Alex, thinking she was dreaming, she moved her head closer to Liv's hip. Again, she heard a groan. Lifting her head she looked around the room in confusion as she heard a muffled gurgle from the bed. Whipping her head back to Olivia, she could not deny what she found. Olivia Benson fighting to wake up. Smiling she sat up straighter and leaned forward.
"Come on baby, show me those beautiful brown eyes of yours," Alex cooed, "That's it, I'm right here, open up and let me see you."
Liv's eyes fluttered and blinked then closed again as she groaned and she tried to move her hands.
"I'm right here baby, right here.... Lets turn this light off and we'll dim these so they wont hurt so bad." Soothed Alex. Alex grabbed a couple of paper towels and dampened them when she hit the dimmer switch near the sink. She walked back to the bed, and gently massaged the damp towel over Olivia's eyes as she cleaned out the gunk that had collected there while asleep.
This time when Olivia tried to open her eyes they stayed open longer. Looking about the room, Olivia was not sure how she got there. Thinking to herself she couldn't recall what had happened. She looked back to Alex and felt a calmness ease over her. The feeling of belonging and security that she hadn't felt in a long time washed over her.
"Liv, baby, look at me." Alex asked quietly. Liv looked at Alex and tried to talk but the tubbing was in the way.
"Don't talk honey, they have a breathing tube in you right now, and don't try to move your head okay?" Olivia just looked at Alex with confused pleading eyes.
"How about you blink once for no and twice for yes, that's so we can communicate a little?"
Olivia blinked twice. Tears of joy ran down Alex's cheeks, elated that Olivia was awake and responding. Remembering where they were, Alex searched out the nurse call button, punching the red dial she hoping to get one of the nurses attention.
"Yes?" came the static reply from the speaker overhead.
"I need a nurse or Dr. Foster in here quickly, Olivia is awake..." Alex related.
"Okay, ma'am, someone will be in there shortly!"
Alex smiled lovingly as Olivia's eyes drifted closed. Her Olivia was awake, finally, now the road to recovery laid ahead.
Okay guys, you know the drill... just remember, this story has not been beta'd or proofed. Again, if anyone out there knows someone who is a beta reader or wants to proof contact me. I am open to any and all help.