1986 -

"Hold still, Ethan!" Ben hissed at the rambunctious nine year old that crouched beside him.

"Why?" Ethan whispered back. "What are we doing?" He began to get up again from the hiding spot in the bushes near the Barracks.

Ben pulled him down, giving him an annoyed look. "Just be quiet, and be still!"

Ben returned his gaze to the subject he had been watching.

"Why are we watching some girl, anyway?" Ethan inquired after a few moments, he folded his arms impatiently as he watched Ben. Ethan stared at him until he got an answer from the distracted older dharma member.

"Why don't you go play with your toys?" Ben asked condescendingly, shooting him a fleeting look.

"I'm too old to play!" Ethan insisted.

"Then go get married!" Ben retorted.

"Ew, yuck!" Ethan said in disgust.

"No, that's what THEY would say." Ben answered childishly.

Ethan stood, looking frustrated that he didn't have a good comeback. He swiftly kicked Ben, and ran away before Ben could take retribution. Ben rubbed his arm where he had taken the blow, and shook his head. That boy certainly thought he had the worst life of anyone who had ever lived.

Ethan claimed that his father, Horace Goodspeed, ignored him and was always too busy to ever give him any notice, barely even looking at him, as if he could care less that he had a son. Ben thought Ethan was lucky. After all, it was when his father didn't ignore him that it was the worst. He would have died to have a nice, respectable father like Horace Goodspeed. At least he wouldn't have the embarrassment of being the son of the angry, drunk janitor.

Ben returned his focus to the girl he had been watching all day since she had arrived on the submarine. He couldn't be certain, but she looked a lot like his old playmate from the first year he had been on the island.

Annie.

It had been nearly thirteen years since he had seen her last, but Ben still remembered her like she had only left yesterday. Few people were ever so memorable to him. Perhaps it had been because she was so influential to his life.

She had made his life less miserable. Annie had the ability to read his emotions and she always was able to find the right things to say or do that would cheer him up. In fact, it was right after she had left the island on the submarine that he had decided to leave the Barracks, to run away from his father. Ben realized that his only thread to happiness had sailed away to Ann Arbor with her.

Even though he had kept the carving she had given him on his birthday, it wasn't a replacement for the loss he felt without her company. He wasn't such a naïve child to believe that she would 'always be with him'. It seemed such a wishful hope, and though he knew it would never be true, he had found the sentiment touching.

She had been the only one he had felt at ease with, and truthfully, as pathetic as it may have sounded even to him, She had been the only one true friend he had ever had. Ben felt so disconnected from other people. As if he had lived a hundred more years than any of them, as if he held a guilt that no one else did. Too many secrets that he could never tell anyone, he experienced a discomfort socially whenever he revealed too much of his actual self. Perhaps it was just the fear that if he cared about someone, they would abandon him, just like everyone else had. The pain of this loss would be too much for him. Yet, secretly, he longed for that closeness that others seemed to be able to experience easily, more than anything else in the world.

The girl in the distance who resembled Annie- much older of course- was chatting happily with another girl, waving her hands to emphasize something grand. It had been exactly the motions Ben remembered his childhood playmate having. There was no doubt in his mind that it was her. Ben wanted to go and speak to her, to pick up the old remains of their friendship and start where they had left off… But, reluctance and uncertainty washed through him.

What if she had changed? She might have become just like everyone else. She might not even like him anymore, or think he was weird, as it was evident that everyone else did. A horrible thought came to Ben, what if she had forgotten him? Would she think it odd that he still had the birthday present that promised they'd be together forever?

Ben was then anguished at the thought that maybe she had never liked him in the first place, as he had frequently wondered when he was a child, why she wanted to be friends with him. He had been such a sad, moping kid.

She might have just felt sorry for him and felt responsible to make him happy because he was the new boy with no friends. Now that she was older, she definitely wouldn't want him moping around her-- he'd be like a deterrent for other people who wanted to come up to speak to her.

Defeated in his own scenarios, Ben slowly stood, sneaking away to his old home, number 20.

Annie was speaking to a girl named Louise, who had left the island in 1977 when it was evacuated. After given the OK, her family returned to the island only a few years later. She had been in the same grade as Annie, and one of the more popular girls in the class, many were attracted to her bubbly personality and charm.

Many of the original children hadn't returned to the island, the large class had turned into a small gathering. They were giggling together, underneath a shade tree, catching up on all of the things each other had experienced.

"Not very many returned, I guess they got completely pissed off that they had to get up and leave. The only ones who returned, were like me, because our dad's were contracted here and we couldn't just leave him here!" Louise was saying.

"What about Ben? Is he still here?" Annie asked. She felt somewhat disappointed at the news she was hearing.

"Oh yeah, he's still here. He never left." Louise nodded, her bright blue eyes widening, filling with gossip as she lowered her voice, leaning toward a curious Annie. "He disappeared a week before the incident. Apparently, he released a hostile that the Dharma Initiative had captured, by setting a bus on fire, and then, the hostile shot him!"

Annie gasped, "Are you kidding?"

Louise shook her head excitedly.

"No, He was in critical. There wasn't a real doctor here or anything. Everyone tried to keep it quiet from all the other kids, but you know how that is… Someone always snoops and finds out all about it. Only a day passed before some hostile spies that had incorporated themselves into the Initiative, took him, and he was gone for almost a month." Louise smirked, nodding toward the Goodspeed's house.

"When he got back, Ben begged to stay on the island, and Horace let him even though everyone else was against it. Everyone suspects that Ben Linus is a spy for the Hostiles. They already had an infiltration before. Everyone thinks Goodspeed is an idiot for allowing Ben to stay here. It wasn't until Pierre Chang stepped in that everyone was more content. He suggested that Ben wouldn't be allowed to work for any of the stations. He can't become anything more than a Workman. It's kind of a waste, really. I mean, he was probably the smartest one in the class, wasn't he?"

Annie nodded sadly, "Yeah, he was always very smart… Maybe they've made a mistake."

Louise shrugged, "What if they haven't?"

Annie was silent for a few moments. "It just doesn't seem fair."

Ben slipped inside his yellow home, his mind still spinning about the possible failures of meeting his old friend. He had a fear of the unknown, and he had no idea how things would turn out. He should have probably just said hello, and see if she recognized him. Ben was internally kicking himself for his foolishness.

Ben sat down at the table, and removed his glasses. He rubbed his eyes, feeling a headache from wearing them, they seemed to pull his eyes, as if the lenses were too strong for him anymore.

Ben looked at his glasses, thinking it was odd how his eyesight had improved. He had constantly worn glasses as a child, getting a stronger prescription every time he went to the doctor. For whatever odd reason, he found that he hardly needed them anymore. They were more or less used for reading or writing now.

At that moment, the front door unexpectedly swung open. Startled, Ben flinched.

"Hi Ben." His aging father mumbled, glancing up at him as he came into the house. Ben sighed at his jumpiness, turning back to look at his own hands in front of him on the table. Roger flopped a bag onto the front room table with his rabbit-foot keys and shuffled inside. He stopped after a few steps, looking at his moping son.

"What's the matter with you?" Roger asked.

"Nothing, dad." Ben replied morosely.

"Yeah, right." Roger said sarcastically. He walked past Ben into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator door and grabbing a can of beer. Roger let the fridge door slam shut on it's own as he clicked open the top of his beverage, turning around as he took a large swig from the can, studying his son for several minutes.

"What happened, Ben?" Roger asked.

"Nothing." Ben replied with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Did a girl turn you down on a date or something?" Roger pressed.

"No, Dad." Ben said in irritation.

"Did she hit you when you tried to kiss her?" Roger said, with a laugh.

Ben refrained from rolling his eyes at his father's obvious amusement at his own sons' misery. "No."

"Well, what the hell is it then?" Roger asked, taking another sip from his beer.

"I already told you dad, it's nothing! Please stop asking me." Ben said.

Roger came around the small island counter, and took a seat across from his son at the kitchen table, kicking off his shoes as he talked. "Well, that damn Willie still isn't doing his job. I don't know why they don't fire the lazy bastard-- I always have to do his work for him, and I'm not getting any younger." Roger complained. Ben glanced up at his father as he took a drink from his can. Ben's eyes drifted up to his father's hairline; it had receded quite a bit in the last ten years. Ben hoped this was not what he had to look forward to.

"I should've gotten a promotion by now. I put in for another position, and they recruit some other idiot to do the job. What do you make of that?" Roger sniffed, rubbing his temple.

There was silence again, and Ben went back to studying his fingernails, his mind drifting elsewhere. He was hardly aware of his father staring at him.

"Well? Are you gonna tell me or what?" Roger asked impatiently. Ben looked up at his father, the fear that he had held for his father over most of his childhood had diminished quite drastically. Ben felt liberated, far more independent than he had as a child. He supposed it was because of his inclusion with what the Dharma Initiative called "hostiles". Truthfully, Ben belonged there with those people, and just the thought of having somewhere to escape to one day gave Ben a sort of peace with his current circumstances as a nobody at the Dharma Initiative. His father had behaved much nicer to him after he came back from the Hydra station where they had poked him with needles and tested him to ensure his mental stability.

"Tell you what?" Ben asked vaguely.

"What the hell is bothering you."

Ben sighed, he knew his father wouldn't stop at it. "Annie's back." Ben said. He wished he could sink into a hole, at his father's judgmental gaze.

"Who's Annie?" Roger asked at once.

"An old friend of mine." Ben replied.

Roger smirked, and Ben knew what he was thinking.

"No, it wasn't like that Dad. We were - we were …just friends." Ben stammered blushing. Such matters of relationships between boys and girls had an embarrassing effect on Ben, and his father loved to rub this in.

"Well, She's back… What about it?" Roger said, shaking his head in obvious incomprehension.

Ben stared at his father. . .

He was right, Ben supposed.

What was the big deal that she was back? All the doubts he had earlier seemed in perspective, rather stupid. He could at least say hello to her. What if she didn't remember him? Would it matter either way? If she didn't remember him, it wouldn't be like he was losing anything anyway.

"Well." Roger interrupted the silence. "Let me tell you Ben, if this girl, Annie or whatever the hell her name is… If she is something special to you… Just… You need to seize the day… Don't pass up the opportunity, trust me." Roger's face suddenly looked aged and weathered, as if he had lived a hundred years. He rarely gave advice that was of any merit, but once and a while, especially in recent times, he seemed to have turned over a new leaf of wisdom that he had gained through living longer.

Roger took his last swig from his beer, and held the empty can up in front of his eyes, looking at it as if he were weighing his own void of a life. Roger pitied his own weakness, and regretted the decision he made twenty-two years ago to stop living and give-up on happiness. He was a loser and he knew it. Roger hated to think that his actions had caused Ben to be just as much of a loser as he was.

"I know I never really told you this Ben… but… I always wanted the best for you."

Ben blinked, glancing up at his father who was rubbing the back of his neck, looking a uncomfortable at the subject matter all of a sudden. Ben was feeling equally as squeamish at the awkward conversation and rather wished his father hadn't brought up this sensitive topic. Something happened inside of him whenever his father said anything regarding their strained relationship. Like a sleeping lion awakening, overwhelming feelings that Ben had stifled and buried seemed to roar angrily whenever disturbed.

Ben didn't trust himself to speak. It was as if he had swallowed something whole and it was now stuck in his throat. He wasn't sure where these emotions were coming from… If Ben were to guess, he would say it was because of the contempt he often felt directed at him from his father growing up. The hopeless feeling that no matter what Ben did, he would never gain acceptance from his old man.

Over the years, as Ben had grown older, he had managed to convince himself that acceptance from a drunken old janitor was quite unimportant, especially whilst he someday could escape to the group of Jacob's chosens, the 'enlightened' as it were. However, deep down, that pressure to please, the desire to obtain some sort of love from his father was still imminent inside him and had never left Ben, no matter what he chose to believe.

His father seemed comparably as choked up, and dealing with his problems as he always had in the past, Roger got up from the table, stiffly patting Ben on the shoulder and walked out of the room.

A/N:

I know, I know… Sort of a short chapter. But I thought it was a better "stand alone" chapter, in which I would have diminished the feel I was going for by continuing at this moment. I will update again ASAP. Thanks as always for reading and reviewing.