A/N: Hey, new chapter here! Hope you like it; I've been busy lately with college and stuff, but I managed to write a little bit more :) Chapter Four should be coming soon, but that depends on you and you alone, if you're enjoying the story. Anyway, have a nice reading, and I apologize for my poor english once more.
Chapter Three – Meeting Old Friends
For the millionth time that day, Rhett wondered why he had come to Atlanta. Everything was just the same. Nothing changed. Bonnie still wasn't there, and Scarlett… Hell, he had no idea what Scarlett had in her mind. She was still the same, he could see that – beautiful, smart and selfish – but something had changed on her. He didn't know what it was, but something did change.
Oh, who was he trying to fool? He knew Scarlett didn't change. She didn't care about her children. So, no use on paying attention to the way she acts towards Wade and Ella. She's still pretty dry with them, even if she smoothes their hair and talks sweetly to them. It's all fake. She wasn't going to fool him. No, Scarlett didn't change.
Why was he here again? Oh, yes, the divorce. It had to be done. He and Scarlett had absolutely nothing in common anymore – they had shared a daughter, and that was it. Now that Bonnie wasn't with them… There was no use. He was never going to marry again. It was always a mistake – he, Rhett Butler, marrying! He had never been a marrying man. He was rich and he liked freedom. He wasn't one to be stuck with only one woman. What made him think that all those years ago?
And yet… Yet, during the first years of their marriage, he remained loyal to Scarlett. One woman. And it wasn't painful. He even enjoyed it, knowing that she would be waiting for him to come to her, even if she never really admitted it. But then she didn't want to share a bedroom with him anymore, so what was the use for loyalty? He had been loyal, body and soul, and she…
She had been loyal, he knew that. But only because Ashley was a gentleman. And how could he, Rhett Butler, trust a fool gentleman instead of his own wife? Because he knew, deep down, that if Scarlett had had the chance, she would have betrayed him.
He couldn't forget the other children, though – both Wade and Ella saw him as a father, and he had already made that mistake before. Leaving Scarlett without thinking about its impact on two growing children had been irresponsible and impulsive. They weren't his children, but he still loved them. Not as much as he had loved Bonnie, but he adored them all the same.
Perhaps they could make a deal. He would visit now and then – just because of the children – and that was it. Well, at least until Scarlett marries again, which is a very plausible, possible and probable thing to happen.
He isn't jealous of Ashley. He really isn't. Scarlett couldn't lie to him, she simply couldn't. He could see when she was lying- and that's why she rarely lied to him. So, maybe, just maybe, she loved him. Not Ashley. Him. But who knew what could happen if he decided to return? Only to make Scarlett realize that now that she has him back, she doesn't love him anymore, just like what happened to Ashley. No, he wouldn't risk that. He couldn't risk being hurt again.
He couldn't postpone their talk either. He needed to be clear. They would divorce, part ways, and he only wanted to see her occasionally, while visiting the children. He would make sure they were loved and that they would study in nice schools and be well educated. With Scarlett as a mother, you never know.
Why was he hesitating so much? It's not as if he still loves her. Even if his mother told him so, even if his kind sister told him so, back in Charleston. They don't know Scarlett like he does. She's a cruel, cold-hearted person, who only cares about herself. She didn't change. She was still the same selfish little girl he met during the barbecue at Twelve Oaks all those years ago. Today was the day. He would tell her he wanted a divorce.
So, he decided to let Scarlett and the children go out and he would speak to her later.
Scarlett knew she would have to see Ashley soon – she promised Melly she would make sure he and Beau were fine – but she would postpone their meeting for as long as she could. In fact, she would even prefer if Rhett were with them – that way, he would see that she no longer loved Ashley. But fortunately, Ashley wasn't home when she went to his house. She politely spoke to India and greeted little Beau – not so little anymore, she noticed. After that, Wade was left to play with his cousin and she and Ella went shopping.
She wasn't surprised when people looked at her and Ella questioningly. She greeted those who greeted her, and even stopped to talk with Mrs. Meade and Mrs. Elsing for a moment and even agreed with them when they said that Ella was becoming more and more pretty. When they asked where Rhett was, Scarlett simply stated that he had business to do and unfortunately couldn't go with them shopping.
Apart from the curious looks they got, Scarlett and Ella had a good time, and only by lunch time they returned to the Wilkes' to grab Wade. Scarlett didn't take long; she invited Beau to visit them the next day but the invitation was for Beau only, and she suspected that because of that India didn't invite them to return soon. Not that Scarlett minded anyway.
Rhett was already home when they arrived, which surprised Scarlett. She wondered if he had actually gone out all the morning. She even planned on asking him so immediately, but Ella and Wade had a lot to say and she let them be.
"Oh, Uncle Rhett, you should have come with us this morning!" Ella said, visibly excited, during lunch. "Mommy and I put on hundreds of dresses and hats and nightgowns! And then we talked to Mrs. Meade and Mrs. Elsing, and they asked questions about you! You should have come with us, and then they would stop asking strange questions."
"Really? What kind of questions were that?" Rhett asked, smiling at the girl's innocence.
"Oh, they said a gentleman should keep company to the ladies. And they even asked if you were in town! But Mommy told them that no gentleman would like to spend his precious day with two ladies shopping." Ella continued, in a matter-of-factly tone. She then turned to Scarlett in a confused tone. "Then Mrs. Elsing asked Mommy if she wanted to join them this afternoon, but she said she was busy. What are you going to do this afternoon, Mommy?"
"Oh. I thought we could all go to the park this afternoon. Maybe have a picnic. When was the last time we did that in Tara?" Scarlett said, smiling, and the children excitedly started talking about their picnics and what they could do in the park.
"When you say that we could all go to the park, am I included in the 'we', my dear?" Rhett asked, in a pleasant tone, the best he had used so far. Scarlett smiled.
"Of course you are. You shouldn't even have to ask. You will join us, won't you?" She asked, uncertainty fogging her mind. If they weren't going to appear together in public, then the Old Guard would get what they think they have in front their eyes: a divorced couple. And Scarlett couldn't bear to think that Rhett wanted to divorce her; he hadn't, after all, talked about their "meeting" since they saw each other. What did he want?
"Yes, I'll join you and the children this afternoon. It's been a while since I spent an entire afternoon with them."
Them. The children. Not Scarlett. Wade and Ella. Oh, what could she do? It was obvious that Rhett no longer loved her, just like he said all those months ago. And that was entirely her fault. She was certainly paying the price for being such a horrible wife. And a bad mother. And a terrible person.
Couldn't he see that she was probably feeling as bad as him? She would probably be worse than him if she didn't have her son and her daughter with her. She didn't leave him, he left her. So, for a moment, he made a decision. Scarlett didn't have a decision to make: she had been alone. Oh, who was she kidding? She was still alone. And so was Rhett, apparently. At least she thought. They had to talk. Really, really, talk. Not pretend to talk, like they had been doing.
So, Scarlett had her perfect moment that afternoon at the park; Wade and Ella were playing ahead of them, and she and Rhett were caught in an awkward silence for being left alone by the reckless children.
"I hope you slept better last night." Scarlett said, trying to make the conversation light, at least for now. Wade was now chasing Ella, and they were both laughing.
"Well, it was… I think 'better' is a strong word, but the night wasn't all bad, at the end." Rhett said with his gaze fixed on the children. He then looked at her. "What about yours?"
"The same, I guess. It's not like that house brings any good to me." She said, shrugging. "I've been thinking about redecorating it. I sincerely don't know what I had been thinking when I thought it was the perfect house for me. There's no light and too much mirrors."
"I certainly agree with you on that."
"That's nice to know. Of course, I'll only think about that when I've decided if we're really staying. And I must decide it quickly, Mammy said that if I didn't return in a month she would come to us." Scarlett said, smiling as she remembered Mammy's serious words.
"That sounds like Mammy." Rhett said, smiling weakly.
Silence again. Oh, how Scarlett hated silence! She would have to try to find another topic they could talk safely. But which one? Oh, if only she could come back to a time where she could talk to Rhett about anything! How she missed those late talks before sleeping, his teasing… That was a thing she never thought she would miss, but right now she wanted to see that ridiculous grin playing around Rhett's mouth before he would tease her until she was too angry to reply. And then he would kiss her and they would be on fine terms again…
"It seems like your dear Aunt Pittypat is on her way to us. Prepare yourself." Rhett said, taking Scarlett from her daydream by extending his arm for her to take it. She took it immediately, before he had time to think twice; Pittypat was, in fact, walking down to them, after speaking briefly with the children.
"Oh, how nice it is to see you all! I was talking to Uncle Peter just yesterday morning; I was already thinking you would never return to Atlanta again!" The old lady said, greeting Scarlett and Rhett. "But Scarlett, my dear, look how thin you are! And so pale, too! Have you thought about visiting Dr. Meade?"
"Don't worry, Aunt Pittypat. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with me." Scarlett said, trying to change the subject.
"Yes, well, I suppose… Since you had so much going on last year… But that's no reason to neglect your health, of course! And you, Captain Butler, how have you been? You seem better than when we ran into each other in Charleston, months ago."
"I'll take that as a compliment." Rhett said, smiling to her.
"Oh, but look at Wade! So much like Charles, not that it surprises me, of course… And little Ella! That child has certainly improved her looks after so many months. I can even see a little bit of you, Scarlett, on her! They're so adorable, my dear." The comments made a sincere smile appear in Scarlett's face. "But surely you don't plan on staying with just the two of them? Scarlett is still young and healthy, and I'm sure a new baby would bring a little more happiness to your lives!"
The smile that appeared so suddenly in Scarlett's face was now just as suddenly gone. A new baby? How could she think about a new baby? Oh, Pittypat obviously has no idea about their situation. If she had, she wouldn't have been talking all this nonsense about new babies. She looked apprehensively at the couple, but luckily – or not – Scarlett's true emotions were hidden by the loud cries coming from Ella.
Without thinking, Scarlett left Rhett and Pittypat and ran towards her daughter, who was only a few feet away. She had fallen into the ground while chasing Wade, and scratched her left knee. The girl was sobbing slightly, and Wade looked at her guiltily.
"It's all right, darling, let Mommy see it." Scarlett said, kneeling in front of her daughter, trying to forget Aunt Pittypat's comment and focus on Ella. "Now, there's no reason to cry so much. It's only a scratch."
"But Wade pushed me, Mommy! He shouldn't have done that!" Ella cried, pointing her finger at Wade, while she and Scarlett stood up.
"I already apologized, Mother! And she had pushed me before!" Wade defended himself, pointing at his sister.
"Fine. Ella, you shouldn't have pushed your brother." Scarlett said, just as Ella was opening her mouth to speak again. "Wade, you are taller and older than Ella. You shouldn't have pushed her either. Now, will you two apologize to each other so we can go back home?"
"I'm sorry." Said the two children, not looking to each other.
"That's better. Now who wants some cake when we arrive home?" Scarlett asked, smiling as each one of her children held each one of her hands and they made their way to Rhett and Aunt Pittypat. Wade and Ella were instantly lightened up at the prospect.
"Bet you can't get in the carriage before I do!" Wade said to Ella as he started to run away.
"Yes, I can!" Ella screamed to him, running after her brother to the carriage.
"Ella, be careful!" Scarlett managed to say before her daughter was already feet away from her. She smiled in spite of it all, and turned back to Rhett and Aunt Pittypat, who were glaring at her. Scarlett grabbed Rhett's arm once more, and managed to smile sweetly at her husband and her aunt. "I'm afraid Ella had a little accident and it's time to go home. You don't mind, do you, Rhett?"
"No, my dear, of course not." Rhett said, smiling at her too.
My dear. How long has it been since he last called her? Oh, yes, when he left. My dear, I don't give a damn. No, but he didn't say it now like he had back then.
"If you'll excuse us, Aunt Pitty." Scarlett said, with a now sincere smile.
"Of course. Oh, Scarlett, do come over for us to have some tea tomorrow. Mrs. Merriwether will be delighted to talk to you." Aunt Pittypat said, with a somewhat surprised expression on her face.
"Thanks for the invitation, Aunt Pittypat. Until tomorrow, then." Scarlett said, before she and Rhett made their way back to the carriage.
"I must say I was rather surprised when you didn't decline your aunt's invitation to tea tomorrow afternoon." Rhett said to Scarlett, when she arrived in the parlor after putting Ella and Wade to bed that evening. He sat in the largest sofa, a glass of brandy who seemed untouched in his hand. Scarlett sat by his side, in a safe distance.
"She would probably be offended if I had declined. And it's been a while since I spent more than twenty minutes with so many people from the Old Guard. And it will be good to know what they have been saying about us now." She said, nonchalantly so.
"Yes, I guess it would be good. I heard from Wade that Beau will spend the day here tomorrow. So you'll finally see Ashley after so many months." Scarlett took a deep breath and kept looking into his eyes. Why did he insist on putting Ashley into their talks? "You've been putting on quite a show, Scarlett. Better than I ever thought you would. Sounding as if you don't care about Ashley. Spending time with your own children. Being nice to old acquaintances you never fancied. In short, behaving like a lady, and we both know that you're not that."
"I'm not acting, Rhett. And I do care about Ashley, but as I've told you before, I don't think I ever loved him like I thought I had. And I've been trying to be a better mother to Wade and Ella." She heard Rhett's chuckle, but kept her voice calm and down. "You may laugh, but I'm not trying to fool anyone, especially you. Wade and Ella deserve a good mother, and I never really tried to create a bond with them. I always loved them, but I guess… Well, a mother shouldn't have favorites, but I did. Bonnie… She was my favorite. And still… I never really gave her much attention. Not like you did, anyway. And I was determined to change all that when I got pregnant again."
"Bonnie loved you. Wade and Ella love you. Don't ask me how, but they all loved you." Rhett chuckled. "How can they love you, Scarlett, when you have always regretted them all? Have you ever asked yourself this question?"
"More times than I care to remember, Rhett. But I don't… I don't regret them. None of them. I once did, but now… I don't regret Wade, Ella, Bonnie or our baby." Scarlett said, and she more sensed than heard Rhett get tense again. There. She had talked about Bonnie and their unborn child in a single sentence. The silence grew uncomfortable until Scarlett spoke again. "I lied when I told you I didn't want your child. For the first time after three pregnancies, I was happy to be with child. I dreamt about a little girl just like Bonnie and a boy that would be the miniature of you… And I was so happy about it, knowing that I already loved a child before it was born, conceived at that… that night."
Her voice betrayed her and while she had started talking with strength she finished it all with nothing but a weak whisper. She had never talked about those dreams and those hopes, or the fact that she had been happy about the pregnancy. And she never really talked about that faithful night, so long ago.
Rhett was still looking at her eyes, although his mind seemed to be far away, the glass of brandy still untouched. Scarlett felt the tears threaten her once more, and she gulped silently before speaking again, without really trusting her voice.
"I don't expect you to believe in me, but I don't blame you. For anything." She whispered, and his gaze finally got back to her. She found it hard to look at his eyes now, so she focused on her hands that lay on her lap, and her voice was stronger when she spoke once more. "I don't blame you for not believing in me. I never gave you any reasons to do so. But most importantly, I don't blame you for Bonnie's death. She was… She was spoiled, it's true, but she was so stubborn and so determined at such a young age that we couldn't have been able to stop her. And I don't blame you for the miscarriage either. I… I know you wanted the baby. You're so good with children, you are an amazing father. When you arrived with those nasty words, I should have softened. But I didn't. I didn't, and now we don't have Bonnie or a baby. And I don't have you."
She couldn't fight the tears anymore, so she decided to ignore them. My goodness, haven't I cried enough this last year? She was still focused on her hands, fearing that she would find emptiness and shadows in Rhett's eyes. She shouldn't have said all this. She was supposed to ask him why he wanted her to come to Atlanta. Or maybe she should have gone straight to bed after checking on Ella and Wade.
"It's not your fault, Scarlett. If we have to put the blame on anyone, it's on ourselves. On what we've become." He said, sounding distant. She heard him put the glass of brandy on the coffee table. "I never regretted something as much as the words I said to you that day before your accident."
His hands came to rest on hers, and she couldn't take it anymore.
"Oh, Rhett!" She exclaimed, finally looking into his eyes and seeing sorrow, sadness and maybe – just maybe – something a little more deeper. He pulled her to him, and she sobbed in his neck, holding him tightly. "Oh, Rhett, you must believe me, you must! I'm so sorry, I am!"
She kept sobbing against him until he pushed her slightly and caressed her cheeks, taking off the reminiscent of tears before new ones fell. She suddenly felt so vulnerable, so weak; Scarlett O'Hara Butler was a strong woman, but she had been crying so much lately without anyone seeing that now – now that Rhett was there to see her cry openly – it seemed so weak of her. They lost a child – no, two children – and she was supposed to be strong. To be strong for him, so that he would return to her.
She couldn't trust her voice to speak again, and chose to look into his eyes. She saw a glimpse of tears there, too, but he remained calm, gently smoothing her skin and looking at her with some strong emotion in his eyes. Could it be true? Could it be love? Or was it pity, sorrow, lust?
There were so many questions in Scarlett's mind and yet she couldn't say them out loud. But they were all instantly gone when Rhett pulled her close once more and closed the gap between them with a kiss on her lips.
A/N (2): If you managed to read this far, congrats! haha I was a bit confused about this chapter's ending, but I do hope you liked it. Review if you want to, it would make a girl happy :D Thanks for reading, anyway!
Ladybug419