I based this story on the song all around me by flyleaf. Beautiful song and well this is what happens when I listen to it. I hope you like it I own nothing but Ryce and what you do not recognize.. So enjoy!!
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I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing
Castiel fell to his knees arms stretched out before him in prayer. It his first one since Joshua gave the Winchesters a message from his father.
His tongue danced behind his lips, he prays for benediction, forgiveness and for resolution. All the things that he has been denied. His father promised that he would never leave him.
That he would watch over the children he has created.
In a way he feels closer to the father that has abandoned him. Closer than he has felt in close to a year. He can feel his fathers love on his fingertips just out of his reach.
He fell for those brothers Winchester and is now cut off from home and his father. He made his choice to follow the right side and not the side that wanted to bring evil upon this world that he has fallen in love with.
And yet he still prays for three things. Benediction, forgiveness and for resolution hoping against hope that his father hears him.
That he hears him and come to aid them in their plaintive plea for help. Then the air around him gets thicker and he just knows that his father is there all around him.
He feels his arms wrap around telling him that he loves him and that he is sorry.
And he wants to keep his father close wants him to tell him that even though he has fallen from grace that everything was going to be alright. That every ending was really only just a beginning.
But all too soon he feels his father pulling away he's leaving him again and he's not real sure he could take it a second time. He leaves with an 'I am sorry my son' and Castiel lets himself fall apart.
"Father,"
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And so I cry
The light is white
And I see you
I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive
Dean feels empty, dead like he has no more of his life or his blood to give. He's standing outside Bobby's the cold air whipping at his face taking away the few tears that escape his tightly closed eyes.
His knees give out like they can't hold his weight any longer. And he falls to the ground, without prompt his tongue dances behind his lips in silent prayer.
Why he does it he doesn't know he knows God isn't listening. But he hopes that there is someone out there that hears his prayers of benediction, forgiveness, and resolution.
He needed some approval for what he was doing. Uncertainty plagued him. Was he right in not giving into Michael; was he right in changing his mind at the last minute?
He needed forgiveness for so much, for failing to protect Sam, for letting Ryce fall. For not being a better father and for starting this whole damn thing in the first place.
He just wanted this all to end to be over with to have his brother back. To know that he could trust his family like he used to be able to.
He could feel the air around him get thicker and he could feel her hell he could smell her. She smelt of apples and peaches and peanut butter and jelly.
He can feel her put her arms around him. Could feel her long blond hair as it brushed against his cheek and all he wanted to do was lean into her.
Her fingers dance on the back of his head soothing him like she once was able to. Soothing him they way no one has been able to since the fire claimed her.
He feels her slipping away, leaving him again and he wants to keep her here. To keep her by his side and have her tell him that everything was gonna be alright. Like she used to when he was just a kid and afraid of thunderstorms.
But this ain't a thunderstorm and she leaves anyways with an 'I'm so sorry my baby'. He's alone again and he lets himself break just a little because he's never felt more alone than he does now
"Mom."
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I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing
Ryce sits down on the edge of her bed her heart heavy as lead her face in her hands. Her tears spilled down her cheeks. As her tongue began to dance behind her lips in silent prayer she rocked back an forth like a lost child.
In away she was, the God that she prayed to in heaven was through with his children on earth. Leaving it up to them to take down Lucifer and to save the world.
She just wished that for once people would stop leaving her. Would listen to her and hear how her heart is breaking with each passing day.
She prayed for benediction, forgiveness and for resolution. She slides off her bed and falls to her knees she began praying in earnest hoping that someone was listening to her.
Hoping someone would hear her prayers.
Her prayers for those brothers she loves with all her heart. To know that for once in this shit hole of a world they are safe. That they receive the answers that they are looking for.
That she receives the forgiveness that she is looking for. Forgiveness for so much wrong that has been done.
She wants to know that she has made at least a few right choices in her life to know that all the wrong she has done has been for something.
The air around her thickens and she feels him all around her just out of her reach.
Her fingertips tingle with the need to pull him close to her. He whispers his love for her and she can feel his arms wrap around her. The smell of stale cigarettes, leather and gun smoke still cling to him.
Making her remember those days when he was still here and would hold her tight. Those days when she was still his little baby before her mother's murder and before his death.
She wants to keep him close and cry on his shoulder and beg him to tell her that everything was going to be all right like he used to.
But all too soon he's gone whispering 'I'm so sorry baby' and she lets herself break.
"Daddy."
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Take my hand
I give it to you
Now you own me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe
Sam had never really been the fall on your knees and pray type. He prayed had faith and knew in some shape or form God existed.
But today with all things that he has face in the last year and a half well it just about brought him to his knees. He tongue danced behind his lips in prayer for benediction, redemption and for resolution.
He needed to know that the path he was thinking about choosing would be the right path, the just path. But he was unsure if he had the strength to do what he was thinking.
If he could really go through with spending an eternity locked in a cage as Lucifer's meat suit. He could do it if it was a sure thing, if it would save the word and more importantly if it would save Dean.
He prayed for redemption for the evil he had done. Sure he had been hopped up on demon blood but he still knew what he was doing was wrong. Dean may have started it had been Sam to release Lucifer.
And through it all he just wanted it to be over to have the relationship he had lost with his brother back.
He rubs his hands down his thighs and almost surprised at the weight he feels on his chest. A weight that soon has him on his knees.
Sam had always hoped that all the wrong he was doing was going to lead to something good. That the power he was working with could stop Lilith.
And it did he would guess but not the way he had hoped.
The air around him thickens and he feels him, feel him like a smack to the chest. And is surprised when he feels leather clad arms wrap around him. Holding him close like he never has before.
Sam hears him whisper his love for him in his ear and the familiar smell of leather and gun oil brings back memories. Memories where he would sit in his fathers lap.
And all the wrong in the world would just disappear. And for a moment all would be right in his little world. He feels the tears as they roll down his cheeks. Falling unchecked because he's afraid that if he wipes them away the ghost of the memories would fade away.
His fingertips ach with a need he hasn't felt in so long and he wants to grab hold of him and never let go.
But all to soon he feels him slipping away leaving him to his pain and self loathing. With a whispered 'I'm sorry son' he's gone and he's left alone.
And for the first time in a long time he lets himself break.
"Dad."
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I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healed
Bobby sits in this useless piece of metal looking at his useless legs. He never was the praying type. Karen was though and that's what he thought about doing when he lost the use of his legs.
She would have prayed for him hell he might have prayed right along with her.
But the boys confirmed something that he was sure of the day he had to kill his wife and burn her body. God ain't listening to anybody on this planet. He thinks over the deal that he made Crowley wonders if he made the right choice.
And surprisingly he believes he has. He wishes he didn't have to be in the position to have to do it. But the world is going to hell and if the boys needed his help on this then he's more than willing to give.
He feels a tug on his heart and he supposes that a prayer now wouldn't hurt him any. Almost like getting your affairs in order before the end.
He bows his head and his eyes dip down and his tongue begins to dance behind his lips.
What surprises him is the prayers he whispers to himself. He prays for benediction, forgiveness and for resolution.
He prays that he can accept that maybe Crowley is a liar that his soul is doomed to burn in hell for eternity.
Hopes that someone can forgive him in the choices that he has made in his long life. And above all he just wants this all over with. He just so tired of it all and all he wants is his family to be safe for just once.
And not have to deal with all this crap.
He feels the air around him get thicker and he feels her knows that she's with him. And it makes him feel not so alone for just a moment she takes his face in her hand and whispers her love for him.
She wraps her arms around him and he just wishes that she could stay with him forever and for the first time since he made the deal he regrets.
All to soon she's leaving him whispering 'I'm so sorry' and he knows she's gone and he feels alone again.
"Karen."
:THE END: