A/N: This is a simple practice of capturing Damon's character. Let me know how I did and if you have suggestions, please write them. Yes, I think it is accurate that Damon writes his thoughts. The ending, however, is also in my opinion accurate. If you don't believe so, please do write it in the reviews. I'd love to see why :).
Staples.
Written by: EclipsedWonderland
Inspired by: LJ Smith
Proofread by: EclipsedWonderland
Entry number 62065
"..She's not here..." At first, it was merely a subtle statement. Fear, agony and anger clouded my mind from all true thought. My years of building up resistance to emotion, to rage... Boiling it down into a hardened metal rod that encompassed my whole being...Broke under the pressure of this truth.
"...She's not here..."
Katherine, my love, where are you? No, they took you. They must have. You must be here. No you aren't, you are gone. Why, my dear Katherine? I had thought in confusion.
"Damon...?"
I heard the voice that released the rage I felt, the stake wounding around my chest and piercing into my tortured heart. She. Is. Not. Here. After all this time, Katherine, the lovely Katherine is not where she was meant to be. After I had looked so hard, how I had tried to weld my anguish into nothing, into rage, into control, into jealousy... Just to tune out the pure agony each day was without her, nothing. Nothing at the end.
"SHE'S NOT HERE!" I screamed, surprising myself in my own pity and anger. I flung the life that would have saved her to the rocky wall, with such force, it explodes. Blood from a stranger descended in droplets. The reason I meant to live didn't exist. I mumbled, I couldn't pick out what. Rage spilled from my tongue like blood. Tainting my lips, my thoughts, my words. Everything. My little brother was frightened, that I could see, yet I didn't care. All that mattered was that Katherine was gone, nothing mattered beyond that. Beyond her. He said something, I don't know what. Something about leaving. As if it would matter if I left, life was nothing. Agony, pure agony was all life would be without her.
She must be here, I thought desperately.
How could she not be? They locked her in. I saw it with my own eyes! Hell, I died for it! I let go of everything I was, everything that I saw as good just for her. Yet here I stand at a dead end. No, she must be here, I must have missed her! Maybe there's a secret door? Must search, never stop. Stefan touched me. I think I spun around and nearly ripped his throat out.
My thoughts jumbled into nonsense, a feeling of not knowing what to do or say welled up across my skin like goosebumps on a chilling night. I saw nothing, I heard nothing....
"Damon!"
Katherine! Her voice rung like angels in my ears. My love, my darling, my princess...
No. It was Elena.
Slowly, the world chimed into focus... Not Katherine, but Elena. Beautiful, sweet Elena. My mind played tricks, telling me it was Katherine. The Katherine who loved me. No, only sweet Elena... Sweet Elena... Who loved my brother. Just like Katherine.
Reality came crashing down in seconds. Wrath still pooled, but that simple word "please" coming from those lip that look so much like Katherine's, instantly set me at a deep and clear sate. Logical, again... Sort of. Katherine's gone. Dead, or somewhere else. Time to search again. Angrily, I shoved my jacket on.
Even through the mayhem around me, I ignored all words and all thoughts. Except my own. Elena's skin had looked so much like Katherine's under the blue, luminescent flash light. Torment pelted upon me as I stared into the unforgiving forest. Some business was going on to my left between my brother and Elena, I didn't care what. She could never be Katherine. She loved only Stefan, she thought I was a devil's reincarnate. Again that sharp, thorned branch dug deeper into my chest. I remembeed something then... The jealousy of seeing Elena in my brother's arms. Blood oozed from the cruelly ripped wounds in my heart. Elena... That's how she was like Katherine, she loved my brother best. Jealousy tried to heal my wounds, I pushed it away in confusion. Not this time, this time these wounds would need staples, not a band-aid.
My brow furrowed slightly, as Elena walked near. I said nothing, I moved no where. I glared at her through glazed eyes, as I tried to fend her off. Too much like Katherine, I couldn't. She stepped closer and closer, I had no power. She would win. Staples would heal this, just back away White Witch, back away. The only healing that will come for this is from a painful procedure in which it slowly heals by bleeding out all the hurt.
Still, she stepped even closer. For a moment, my eyes saw Katherine.
Suddenly, before I could move, Elena was around me. Encompassing the whole world. Her smell, a nice, light Chanel mixed with near-virgin blood, embraced me. Warm, flesh against my shoulder soothed my heart slightly. I didn't move, I still fought to ward her off... Yet she didn't let go, she held on. A feeling of love washed through my bones, sent directly from the angel that surrounded me.
"I'm sorry..." were her broken words.
I crashed then. It took everything I had to not let a tear escape, yet one sneaked under my defense and pooled savagely in my eye. Like a slow poison, it dripped down my shadowed cheek. All the pain, all the agony, all the rage... Summed up in a little drop. My wounds... Were healing, quicker then staples ever worked.
Perhaps, then, staples aren't the best cures. Perhaps, threads of love are. Ha. Yea, right.
Damon Salvatore
–
As soon as I finish writing my signature along the page, I cast it into the fire. Thick curls form along the edges as it slowly burns and, finally, disappears.