This is thanks you to those of you who did review, and for adding me to your favorites.

Broken Fences

I took off running knowing that if I stayed that I would further embarrass myself in front of this moroi god. I wasn't entirely sure where I was going until I reached the track. It had been weeks since I ran this track but I wasn't worried about that at this moment I was more worried about why I was feeling like a crushed out school girl. Even Dimitri hadn't made me feel like that. With Dimitri I knew I had belonged with him. no rose you can't think about that either. Get it together rose these aren't your feeling and you know it.I ran harder and faster hoping that this was the equivalent to a hangover, hoping that I could just shake it.

Much to my disappointment I couldn't get rid of it. damn it rose what the hell is wrong with you? That was a question that I was getting really use to asking myself, and what didn't surprise me was that I got no answer. oh yeah because it is actually to much to ask for a little help.

Then as if I was being smiled upon I knew why I had felt that way. When mason died I felt everything that Lissa felt and was easily sucked into her head because I wasn't strong enough to keep the shield up. I didn't want to keep the shield up, for once I didn't want to be in my own head. Then when he left it depressed me. I had gotten so used to Lissa's feelings being my own and drowning out the pain that I had forgotten that I could drown her out.

Okay rose you can do this. I stopped dead in my tracks as I prepared to bring up my wall again. oh and thank you. I know it might have been weird to thank whoever helped me come to this conclusion but I hadn't gotten here on my own and well he or she needed credit. Slowly I concentrated on putting up my shield, it was hard considering that it hadn't been used for about a 2 months now.

At first I couldn't tell if it was working but gradually I could sense lissa's thoughts leave me. I was no longer infatuated with the pyromaniac and my thoughts where mine again. I was so happy until I realized that my thoughts hadn't been pleasant, I hadn't really thought on my own since masons death so I never really healed. shit, ah well I'm glad someone has a sense of humor.

I felt all the pain come back to me running me over and eventually knocking me on my ass. I frantically struggled with the shield trying to get it away from me. I saw every unresolved thought I ever had. The car accident, being called a blood whore, being used, then rejected, my jealousy towards christian, my love for Dimitri, his obvious love for me. no no no no no please get away from me, I don't want to think about this, I don't want to think about any of it I would gladly take indirect sex with christian over this please. it was to late one particular memory hit me hard enough to stop my attempts at trying to push the shield away and knock me out. yes sweet sweet darkness please take me. Hell id even welcome Adrian if it meant I wouldn't have to deal with this. no such luck I was completely trapped under the weight of this memory.

"Roza?….."

sorry so short but trust me things will get good. i can bearly contain myself, part of me wants to spoil the surprise. i have been writing all day trying to get their peronalities right is hard. Although i can relate to Rose in so many was from her forbidden love to her bad rep. that isn't what it turns out to be. alot of parts in this fanfic strike true to home, as do the actual books so please be nice when reviewing and or flaming.

Thanks for reading. (review please)