Chapter Fourteen
Kyouya Goes to Mobile
If there ever was a day not to be late it was now. All that ran through Kyouya's mind was getting to that hospital. Unfortunately, Kyouya had just awoken in a town called Mobile, Alabama. "Why the hell am I here?!" he asked himself when he was greeted, rather drenched in egg nog, by none other than Yagari Toga. He looked a bit odd though, he wore a large red jacket, and his hair was turning purple. He held a gold egg and a carton of egg nog in his hand.
"Kyo! Jenja budu, camadsia helui popanana!" Yagari rejoiced in a strange tongue.
Kyouya was not as amused. "What the mother humpback is going on!? Where's the hospital? I have to operate immediately."
"Hey, take it easy Slim Jim! You took some serious blows to the head and, well, here you are now!" Yagari seemed to be the one who had suffered too many hits on the head.
"Will you just tell me why I'm here?!" he shouted in Yagari's face. "I need to get back soon, we're running out of time and—" Kyouya cut off after Yagari threw the egg at his face.
"Take a chill pill. See, here in Mobile, we spend our days eatin eggs. You'd better develop a taste for them, 'cause you ain't goin' nowhere" Yagari tossed him his carton of egg nog. Kyouya looked at him in disgust before Yagari continued. "We also look forleprechauns. There's a leprechaun in that tree over there and I want the gold. Give me the gold."
Kyouya stared at the tree that Yagari was referring to. "This is…absolutely insane. I really have to get out of here." He started to walk around Yagari but was stopped.
"So how've you been?" Yagari mumbled through his constant drinking. Kyouya still couldn't believe anyone could drink so much egg nog.
"Well, I was supposed to be operating today. Apparently the guy has some lung problems."
Yagari wasn't listening to most of Kyouya's complaining. "So who the lucky guy?" It was clear he needed to see a doctor, for he seemed to imply that Kyouya was getting married. (But as matter a fact, Kyouya been unhappily married for five years now, soon to be a single surgeon. His wife, Konan, insisted on naming their three kids Vodka, Ashtray, and Banjo. The two fought frequently and were getting a divorce that week.)
"So how are your kids doin'? What are their names? Vodka, Ashtray, and Banjo? Man, those are some bad names. Course they ain't my kids so foo what ever it is you want to foo." Yagari fell on the ground, still gulping down his egg nog.
"Foo?" Kyouya asked. "Perhaps I should take him to a doctor, course I've heard Zero's gone whacky too." The surgeon received no response. Yagari started singing "Living on a Prayer" in a slurred voice, and then fell down a hill.
"Yagari?!" an alarmed Kyouya sprung into action. Without thinking, he gulped down the egg nog
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