See told ya, anyway, this is all rose's pov and the m rating starts in the first paragraph. it doesn't stay that way though. enjoy

I felt that familiar rush of feelings as I opened my eyes, only to see that I was not in the hospital, but in the attic. I was crying and Adrian was there to comfort me. I wasn't quite sure why we where in the attic but I didn't care. The only thing I wanted that moment was his lips on mine. He complied and began kissing me. It was soft and full of love, and then it turned to more urgent kisses hurt and confused. I even felt betrayal, and eventually lust. He laid me on my back and continued to kiss me. We had made out before but we had never gone further than that. Part of me wanted to stop the other part screamed to me that it felt so right. His body on mine. I let him remove my underwear as he did the same for his.

We where completely naked and he was glorious. I didn't have time to acknowledge this fully because my body was hungry. His lips trailed the entire length of my body when while he expertly put the condom on. Only using one hand. I felt as if I wanted to laugh. People had called him a man whore and he swore he wasn't but he was a little to handy with a condom not to be. I didn't say anything though, because he was hovering above me sliding himself in me. It was slow at first and then rough. All the hungry lust came back as he picked up the pace. I flipped us over so that I was on top moaning into the air. I watched the way he looked at me and I loved it. It was driving me crazier than being on top of him. But my euphoria was lifted when I heard the last thing I thought I would ever hear from him.

"Lissa, I'm…." Adrian moaned.

What? How could this be happening? Adrian and I where dating lissa was my best friend. Sure I kissed Christian but I didn't try to claim him.

"I know…..I…oh my goodness…." she screamed back. I felt everything from the jolt of the orgasm to feel of his body reacting to its release and I couldn't do anything. I felt dirty like I had wanted to cry. My best friend and my boy friend had just had sex and I had to watch the whole thing. I couldn't break free from her feelings, they kept me there. What did I do to make them do this to me? I thought as I began to try to work my way out of her head.

"She's awake" I heard someone call. As I lay in bed with my eyes closed. The florescent lights told me I was still back in the hospital even though after what I just saw there was no doubt about that. "How are you feeling?" the voice asked again.

I couldn't answer instead I just opened my eyes to see Christian Eddie Dimitri Tasha Kirova mom and the nurse. I wanted to hope that it was just a dream so I looked harder for the two missing heads. They where still nowhere to be found. I let a tear slide down my face as I tried to sit up.

"Rose I don't think that you should be up right now." the nurse said.

"I'm fine" I said trying to hold back the sobs.

"What's wrong" Christian whispered.

"Where are Liss and Adrian?" I asked as if I was a sucker for pain.

"I don't know lissa and I had a fight the other day so I haven't talked to her, I think Adrian is holed up in his room." Christian said looking at the other faces.

That was all it took for my sobs to escape.

"What's wrong Rose?" I heard Christian ask.

All I did was shake my head.

"Rose?"

"Their in the attic" I said crying harder.

"Who?" Dimitri asked.

"Lissa and Adrian, they….they had…..Christian why is she doing this to me? I can't be happy just once" I asked crying some more.

"What is going on?" my mother asked.

"Wait you mean they are in the attic now, how much did you see?" Christian asked knowing what I had meant.

"Everything, I wanted it to be a dream but it isn't what did I do to her to make her hate me. I would give my life for her and she had sex with him Christian." I almost yelled.

I saw shock on everyone's faces and pure anger on Christian and Dimitri's.

"This is my fault" Christian said.

"How, what did you do?"

"When we brought you in here Adrian and Dimitri started fighting and Adrian said something that pissed me off so I interfered but when I did I kind of told everyone in the waiting room that I was in love with you." he said.

I just stared at him, I didn't know how to react.

"Say something please" he asked. I jerked my hands out of his and continued to stare at him. "Rose please." I could hear the tears in his throat.

"Is that all you told her?" I asked. I still didn't understand how him telling her that he was in love with me would cause her to sleep with my boyfriend.

"she asked if you felt the same and I told her no. she said we would figure it out once you got better, I swear I didn't think she was going to do that." he said. Trying to take my hand again. I wanted so badly to let him but I wasn't sure I had just had my trust betrayed by the only three people I let in. I was scared to let Christian in, scared that he would cut the last string that was holding me to my sanity. So I snatched away again.

"Get away from me." I said dangerously low.

"Rose"

"Just move I need air." I said. Standing up to walk past the crowd of people in the small room.

"Oh goodness rose I thought you would never wake up" lissa called as she ran into the room and gave me a hug. It was faint but I could still smell sweat on her skin. I didn't hug her back though.

"Lissa I would let her go if I where you" Adrian said joining us. He was looking at me hard reading my aura, so I couldn't even blame this on him being drunk.

"Why? I am happy to see her." lissa said but she let me go. "Rose are you okay?" she asked,

"would you be okay if the one and only person you where in love with left you for another woman and then came back with her because she was asked by your best friend, or if you found out that that same woman was pregnant even after it has only been a few months, wouldn't that make you a little anxious, or if you couldn't open up to someone and when you did you felt like you where betraying your other friends, or if you had to watch your best friend fuck your boyfriend? Would you be okay lissa?" I said backing her into a corner.

"Someone grab her" I heard Adrian yell as I was about to pounce on her like a jungle cat.

I was immediately held down by Eddie and Dimitri who where both following me since I started talking. I hadn't realized it but another pair of arms wrapped around my waist. And yanked me backwards. I soon learned that they had belonged to Christian.

"Rose I am sorry I didn't mean for you to see that" she said tear welling up in her eyes. I felt her emotions but this time my anger won out.

"That's not what I want to hear" I yelled thrashing in Christian's arms. "Let go of me" I yelled.

"What was I suppose to do my boyfriend told me he was in love with you."

"So you sleep with mine? What friend ruins a life like that huh?" I screamed.

"You never really cared about him in the first place." she snapped back.

"How would you know what the hell I was thinking lissa? The only one you ever cared about was you"

"That's not true"

"Oh? Then tell me when did you find out that I was in love with Dimitri?" I asked. I saw eyes widen at the reveal of names. "When?" I yelled louder startling her.

"The day you passed out. But you would have never told me anyway."

"see, you where so blind, Adrian knew from the moment he met me which is why he didn't like him, Christian knew after he left which is why I was talking to him, and you my best friend couldn't look away from the mirror long enough to notice."

"I am sorry, is that what you want to hear?" she asked.

I was now standing on my own but Christian's arms where loosely around my waist ready to grab me if he needed to.

"No Lissa, sorry just doesn't cut it when it comes to ruining my life, I gave up everything that I wanted so I could train to be your guardian" I said looking at my chotki. I unsnapped the hook and wrapped it around my finger before I spoke again. "But why would I want to guard you now?" I said throwing it at her.

"You don't mean that once you calm down we can talk everything out." she said actually in tears now.

"No, why would you want to be guarded by someone who would no longer die for you? Because I won't do it anymore. I honestly have no more reason to want you alive." I said staring her dead in her face. Everyone looked at me like this was some kind of joke, as if I would say gotcha and everyone would start to laugh. Honestly I wanted that too. But I knew that this wasn't a joke. And I also believed every word I had said.

"Are you sure you feel that way?" she asked. I feel the compulsion running through our bond.

"Don't!" I yelled. "I am not a toy, I am not your personal shield despite what I have been taught, I actually have feelings and you just proved to me that you think just like every other royal, you think you can have what you want when you wanted it, even if it means taking them from other people." I said but I was looking at both Tasha and lissa. "You can let me go now" I added.

"Are you going to behave?" Christian said.

"You sound like my mother" I said flatly. When he didn't budge I answered. "Yes I will behave"

He let me go and I walked over to my bed and sat down. Looking at the floor.

"Rose,-" my mother started to say.

"Just please leave" I said on the verge of tears again. No one moved. "GET OUT" I yelled.

"Rose you're hurting and I am sorry but that is no way to treat anyone, especially a royal" mom finished.

"Didn't you hear me? I don't give a damn what happens to any of the royals anymore, I hardly give a damn about what happens to me after tonight" I said.

"That is what we do though and it is considered and honor to work for a royal some people aren't as lucky."

"well integrity and self respect come before honor remember, and I sure as hell wont be loosing what ever little bit of self respect I have left guarding."

"Being a blood whore is worse." she said.

"To be a whore you actually have to have sex, and that requires trust how do you sleep with someone you can't trust? And how in the hell can you expect me to trust anyone after this?" I said lying on my side facing the wall. Signaling the end of this conversation.

I listened as everyone left, those who hadn't pissed me off hugged me and said goodbye which had only been Eddie, Kirova, and Christian. Because I knew this wasn't his fault. The quietness gave me some time to think about what I was going to do after graduation, I knew I wasn't going to guard, but I also knew that I would have to do the field experience with some one while I was still here. In the back of my head I knew who it was, but to acknowledge it now was more than a little contradictory. So I brushed the thought away and cried myself to sleep.

poor rose, but please tell me what you think, and if you would agree with rose, b/c lissa really did ruin everything. r/r please and thank you.