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It was cold and bleak outside as I headed to the middle of the quad where our 'bon fire' was the night before. Who would have thought setting fire to a bunch of things would be so fun. I could understand now why sparky liked to make people and things spontaneously combust.

"If it isn't little miss badass" Christian said picking up a piece of burnt paper.

"Morning sparky." I said walking over to him. I hadn't noticed until I got closer to the pile of ash that we had two guardians with us. Alberta and Dimitri.

"You two are here to clean not chat." she said.

"We can't do both? Where is the irony, aren't we suppose to learn how to see without being seen and all that? Isn't that considered multitasking?" I asked smirking.

"Yes but you don't get to pick and choose which rules to follow." Dimitri said flatly.

"You would know" I said. Picking up one of those ugly orange vests and putting it on over my jacket.

"That is enough Rose" Alberta spoke. "You will not speak to Guardian belikov in that tone; do I make my self clear?"

"Why should I show him the respect he conveniently forgot to show me? He's acted like nothing but an asshole to me since he got back and I can't return the favor?"

"Rose" I heard Christian whisper. "Calm down. He's not worth it let's just clean this crap up so we can go."

Suddenly I had all eyes on me. I was guessing they wanted to see how I would act. Dimitri knew for a fact that I hated being told to calm down, and Alberta knew that I hated being bossed around, so I did what any petty girl would do, I listened out of spite. Christian could tell but he didn't seem to mind.

"Fine." I said

"Grab a bag and some gloves" Christian said with a huge smile of victory on his face, the other's just looked stunned. Wow they act as if I never listen…..that thought made me laugh out loud, because everyone knew that I didn't. My laughter had also gained me the looks of all three of my on lookers.

I had been picking up trash that had flown over by the tree when all of a sudden I keeled over gasping for breath. I knew what was happening; I was being drug into lissa's head. I hadn't been there in a while and her feelings where starting to get stronger. I didn't blank out, I was still fully aware of my surroundings; Christian was by my side asking me if I was okay. I could even feel myself nod my head and say lissa's name. But I was also aware of lissa's surroundings. Her room, she was sitting in the middle of the floor with her photo book flipping through pictures of us. Next to her though she had a bottle of vodka no doubt from Adrian. Next to that where two small razor blades. One had blood streaking the stainless surface.

"Damn it" I yelled pushing myself off the ground and shooting towards her dorm. I could feel Christian and the guardians behind me but I didn't stop to tell them what was happening. "Son of a bitch." I mumbled still running.

Once I had reached her room I saw Eddie standing outside banging on the door.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"She told me that she needed to change and that I could wait in the hallway, when I did I heard her lock the door. I couldn't find any of the matrons and I have a feeling she is hurt I just…..I can't…I didn't do my job rose I didn't-"

"No time now just go see if you can find someone" I said pushing him back towards the stairs. "Hurry." I yelled. I had to get him away because he took this thing very seriously. He would have passed out if he knew what she was doing on the other side of this door.

Once he was out of site I began to kick at the door. It only took a few kicks before it flew open with a loud bang as it crashed against the wall. Key is to kick near the handle.

I ran forward to her limp pale body on the floor. She was loosing a lot of blood. Part of me screamed that it didn't care. That she deserved to hurt but the other part said she was still a person and letting her die is the same as killing her. That part of me was the loudest.

Quickly I looked around for something to wrap her wrists in. but it wasn't just her wrists it was her thighs too. I looked at the slits and could tell that they weren't careful nor where they clean, she had been trying to do some serious damage. Or she was trying to get my attention. Both had worked.

"Help me get her to the clinic" I all but screamed. I was then surrounded by Alberta, Dimitri and Christian all trying to help me. Dimitri took the most of her so I just let go. Christian and I followed. The good thing was we weren't that far away from the clinic.

"Go get her a feeder" I said to Christian as we had gotten closer. Without a word he took off towards the commons. I couldn't stop myself from wondering how he felt about all of this. We shared the same morals to a certain extent so it must be hard for him. I smiled to myself when I thought about what he said last time I asked him if he was okay but then it dawned on me that he never really answered the question. Now who's putting on a brave face?

"What happened?" Dr. Olendzki asked as Dimitri put Lissa on the bed.

"She slit her wrists again, and her thighs too." I answered. "She lost a lot of blood. I didn't get pulled into her head until she had already done it. I was halfway across campus." I said out of breath.

Just as I finished Christian walked in with the feeder almost as out of breath as I was. The feeder was a male and I could tell that he hadn't had his fix today because although his skin was glowing and his eyes clear he looked agitated and anxious awaiting the endorphins he knew where coming. To think I had been like that once. Not quite as bad thank goodness but I had been addicted even if I didn't admit it to anyone else I knew it and I fixed it.

"Okay if you just wait in the waiting area I will let you know when you can come back in." she said ushering us out of the cramped room. Which was fine with me because I had already had more than my fair share of hospitals and clinics.

I stood frozen against the wall as everyone else piled into chairs and rested a bit. No one spoke, I took the time to assess the people in front of me. The feeder was bouncing his legs and shifting in his seat. I had to keep myself from going over to him and sitting on him to keep him still. It wasn't that I couldn't handle his shifting it was that it was so out of place here. My eyes flickered to Alberta who was sitting on the edge of her seat staring blankly ahead. I knew that look she was deep in thought, about what I would have given my left arm to know. And just like Alberta Dimitri sat on the edge of his seat deep in thought, only his was different. I could see the sorrow in his eyes. I couldn't help but think some of it was because of what he did to me but I immediately swept that thought away swearing myself out mentally as I did. Then I looked at Christian who was looking at me. If that's what you'd call it, he was borderline staring. Had this been any other circumstance I would have told him to close his mouth and stop drooling. But he was doing neither. Just looking. He met my eyes and I was instantly captured by his bright blue ones. Right now they had a mixture of pain worry loyalty and even though he was trying his hardest to hide it, lust was extremely evident. I hoped that my eyes hadn't betrayed me as his did him. Because if they had he would see his emotions mirrored in mine.

I hadn't actually known how long we had held each other's gaze but I became aware that this small but meaningful show of affection had gained an audience. I suddenly felt like the crushed out school girl who wouldn't hang up the phone until the boy did. I didn't want to look away. I could have stayed lost in his eyes forever and it would still not be long enough. I saw a sad smile play across his lips as if he had been thinking the exact same thing. I guess that was his signal because with that and a great show of effort he pulled his eyes away from me. I knew I had about two seconds to do the same or we would have started staring at each other again. Reluctantly I copied his actions and stared at the floor.

"Okay so we managed to stop the bleeding, she is going to be out for a while so I would advise that you go on with your day. And Michael if you'll come with me." Dr Olendzki said addressing all of us in one sentence.

I watched as the feeder followed with a grin on his face that reached from ear to ear. I was still frozen when the guardians got up and began walking. Christian was following. He must have realized that I hadn't moved because he came to me, and looped his hand in mine. That one touch thawed me out enough to walk again. He squeezed my hand reassuringly and I squeezed back. This time when we felt the other's eyes on us we didn't break apart. We didn't feel the need to anymore. So we both looked straight ahead and walked with our fingers interlocked. It felt as natural as breathing and right. It was dangerous to open my heart so soon after having pieces torn away, but him holding my hand told me he would stop at nothing to find those pieces and put me back together again. Which is why I was already falling for him and he knew it.

Thanks for reading. This was just something that came to my head seeing as rose would have to face lissa sooner or later and this seemed like the best way considering it was because of rose she stopped cutting in the first place. and just to clear things up eddie was there the whole time in the clinic she just didn't get a chance to look at him. Lol. Please review.