thanks for the reviews and support i hope you enjoy. Unfortunatly i don't know when i will be able to post again because we are getting a huge snow storm. please let me know what you think. (i get the reviews sent to my phone)
It was a little hard to go on with our day because of Lissa. As much as I didn't want her to be she was on my mind. We had been told to return to cleaning up our mess but the guardians went to discuss business as usual.
"What do you say I just incinerate this stuff and we go eat?" Christian asked. Squatting next to me. I hadn't even noticed it was just my little pile left until I looked around.
"You cheated" I said forcing a smile.
"Yeah well I'm hungry." he said.
"Do your thing sparky I'm getting kind of hungry too." I said standing up and watching the small pile of trash burn to nothing. As if it hadn't even been there to begin with. "You don't mind if I skip out on going with you to the feeders because I think I have seen enough blood today?" I asked.
"No problem I'll meet you back in the commons after I'm done." He said grabbing my hand. It amused me to watch his facial expressions go through a series of excitement when I didn't pull away. Ever since we left the clinic he was finding different reasons to touch my hands or my arms. He never went for my face or for any other intimate part. It was funny that he thought he was the one winning. He was the moroi, a royal one at that so if anyone was winning it was me. But it helped to know he felt the same about me.
"I won't pull away anymore" I said absent mindedly. I hadn't actually meant to speak this thought out loud but the look he gave me made me glad I did. He looked flustered and sexy but also caring; I could tell he wanted to do more than just hold my hand. It was back wards sure because we had already had our first kiss but we hadn't been together. This was different because we had no real reason not to, nothing to condemn us later. Earlier we had both been dating someone else and knew nothing would or could happen now we where single and there would be no fixing things if we messed up. "Is it worth the risk?" I asked again not meaning to speak out loud. But his thoughts echoed mine as he answered.
"I think it is, I know it might seem like we are rebounding but I think it's more than that." he said stepping closer to me.
"I feel the same but you have to understand why I am afraid to let anyone else in."
"You already let me in Rose" he whispered as his lips touched mine.
That kiss picked up where our first one left off; full of love but the innocence was gone. There was nothing innocent about our intentions. He wanted me and I wanted him. It was just a matter of timing. His hand had snaked its way up under the back of my shirt not lifting it but making me shiver as our skin touched. The other one entangled itself in my hair. His tongue begged for entrance and I pardoned it. I could feel the heat emanating off of him. This was how it was suppose to be all along. He was supposed to be with me comforting and touching me as I should have always been with him. I knew I was wrong about Dimitri being my soul mate because when we kissed I never actually felt the fire or sense of belonging. I mean I did in a physical sense but how far would that have really gone? I could never actually see me with him growing old together because we could have never actually been together but I could actually see myself with Christian from this moment until the end of time causing havoc and killing strigoi together. But being mortal we had to breath at some point.
"I think maybe we should go and eat, you seem a little light headed." he smirked as I swayed into him. This is one of the things I love about him. Neither of us has to be extremely serious. This little comment would have killed the moment with anyone else but with us, it was natural.
"And you're so sure that's the reason?" I asked returning his smile.
"Well either that or I am a really good kisser" he said.
"Let's go eat." I said smiling wider as I took off running.
"Hey aren't you going to tell me which one it is?" he yelled after me.
"You will never know Ozera" I called back before I went inside the commons.
I was sitting in the corner beside the dinner bar eating my food when I smelled the feint smell of cloves. It took me a minute to register where it was coming from until I saw Adrian approaching. It had been a while since I had seen him with a cigarette so I had almost forgotten the smell that was just as unwelcome as he was.
"What do you want Adrian?" I asked as I put a forkful of spaghetti in my mouth.
"To apologize, what I did was wrong and I am so sorry." he said. "I swear I would take it back if I could."
"But you can't Adrian unless you really are one hell of a spirit user, and do you mind putting that out it stinks." I said.
He did as he was told and put the cigarette out and slid into the booth opposite me.
"look I get why your mad, I get it, I would be too, hell I was mad because he said that he loved you" I was assuming the he that he was referring to was christian.
"Yeah and I don't blame you for getting upset, but look what you did to lissa in the process." I said. "if you would have done it because you where in love with her then yes I would have reacted the same way but she would have someone to lean on, right now she is in the clinic with bandages around her wrists."
"No she did it to herself and you abandoned her." he said his voice getting louder.
"No you helped with that, I am not saying that things will ever be the same between us but the truth is I still care what happens to her. Our relationship will have to be worked on and if it can great but I need time to myself to figure this out." I said matching his tone.
"What about us?" he asked bringing his voice down to a whisper.
"We are over Adrian, how you could just use someone who used to be like my sister to hurt me and then not even care about her was wrong, and what kind of a fool would I be taking you back. She is a royal moroi and you just dumped her like trash, according to everyone else including your aunt I am trash so I could only imagine what you would do to me once you had you fill." I said.
"So that's it, we can't even be friends?"
"Sure we can be friends when hell freezes over and I'm queen." I said. Looking over his shoulder at a very angry looking Christian. "Now if you'll excuse yourself my boyfriend is still a little pissed at you. And I'm trying to eat"
"I won't stop trying to get you back." he said as he stood up to leave.
"Then I'll make sure I never give her up" Christian said. This caused Adrian to jerk around and look him in the eyes. "Now I believe she told you to leave"
It was scary how much authority Christian could hold in his voice when he wanted to. It was also kind of sexy. But since we where both big on ego trips I wouldn't be telling him this anytime soon.
I watched as Adrian walked away re lighting his cancer stick. Good riddance.
"Your boyfriend huh?" he asked smiling.
"well you know I had to say something, and I don't think 'my friend' would have had the same affect." I said returning his smile.
"smells good, I can not wait until I can go back to class, I mean spending the day with you was um fun and eventful but I don't think that picking up burnt stuffed animals a pictures is really how I want to spend time with you" he said changing the subject.
"it is good, and I can't wait until I get to start the field experience, and spending the day with you was fun and eventful but your right we could have been doing better things" I said responding in sequence to his comments.
"Like?"
"You could have been helping bleach my hair" I said smiling, I knew he was waiting for something different but I think that's why he started laughing so hard.
"Oh so that's what you wanted the peroxide for? I don't know rose you are beautiful like you are" he said once his laughing stopped.
"Thanks but I need change, and I am definitely not cutting it, how about we just do the back, you know part it and do the bottom half blonde and leave the top half black." I said.
"If that's what you want, but if it looks terrible, I don't think I could be seen with you I do have a rep to uphold." he laughed.
"So don't mess up"
"Wait you want me to do it?"
"well yeah, I saw the picture of you at Tasha's house, you had funky little blonde stripes in your hair." I said smiling.
"Lissa?" he asked.
"Yup, come on I thought it was um…cute, anyway will you help me or not, because I really don't know what I'm doing."
"Fine as long as we don't talk about the year I looked like a damn skunk."
"I promise." I said. I was now laughing out loud. It was too funny, the picture I had seen had been when he was being home schooled by Tasha he was sitting on the couch with his black pj bottoms on and a black wife beater, I guess he was looking at TV but he looked like the epitome of a gothic/emo comic book hero. It was hilarious.
"Good, give me a bite" he said stealing my fork. I didn't mind because I was pretty full anyway.
"Your right this is good, but I swear I can make it better." he said. He had decided to take all the brainless classes this semester and taking the college courses for last semester. Among the brainless ones he took culinary arts, the art of filming and my personal favorite ballroom dance. I Laughed when he told me his schedule because Christian hated going to all of those formal things but was learning how to ballroom dance, that's classic.
"Yeah I bet you could. I can't wait until they give me the okay to participate again." I said. "Two weeks worth of book work is heinous."
"I bet. Every body worth guarding has been taken though." he said with a smile.
"Well the way I see it, you're currently the only one worth guarding."
"Hmmm, I don't know I mean what royal in their right mind would want you as a guardian?"
"The same one that just kissed me and it's a good thing you're not in your right mind either."
"I will ask Alberta. Speaking of, what are we going to do about Lissa?" he asked. His mood changed with the subject.
"I don't know, like I told Adrian, we have some major issues to work through but we both need to focus on our selves before we try again other wise we could have another disaster on our hands."
"True, but don't you think that goes for dating as well?" he asked his mood sinking further.
"no I think that dating someone that actually wants to help me is exactly what I need. But I'm not completely writing lissa off yet, I mean we have been friends since preschool I guess I'll know where she stands tomorrow." I said trying to bring his mood up.
"as if it isn't obvious." he mumbled.
"huh?" I asked making sure I heard him right.
" oh nothing" he said perking up a bit. "but uh remind me not to piss you off because I swear you get really nasty when you're mad at someone."
"Yes, well, take it or leave it" I smiled.
"I'll take it."
"That was rhetorical" I said flicking some sauce at him
"it also wasn't a question" he said wiping it off his cheek "now when exactly are we dying your hair?"
"Tonight, that is if you have nothing better to do."
"Nope I'm free, my place or yours?" he asked wagging his eyebrows.
"Ha, you sounded like Adrian, that's funny."
"Good to know I remind you of your ex."
"Awe sparky don't be mad, you know as well as I do that Ivashkov has nothing on you, but don't let that go to your head."
"To late" he said standing up and offering his hand with a huge grin on his face.
"What a gentleman" I joked.
"Gentleman implies that I am actually nice" he said playfully dropping my hand.
"You are nice but you are also a dork" I said grabbing his again and interlocking our fingers.
I let him lead us back to his dorm so that he could do my hair. I was quiet as we walked thinking of my coming talk with Lissa. Everyone was everyone was right about our relationship for different reasons but by the way christian reacted to just the mention of her name I could tell I wasn't the only one that needed closure.
the next chapter mite be a lissa pov, just to appease those who want to know why she cut herself. thanks for the support. Read and review please.