a/n So here's the next chapter, its kind of a filler chapter, but in the next one things will get better. ENJOY!!

Chapter 2

The rest of the day continued the same as biology. I doodled in my books and ignored the rest of the world. I tried to keep my mind of him, but I only ended up thinking about what I did this morning. Just the thought of it caused my arms to hurt, but that was okay, it kept me distracted. I couldn't help remembering when I first started it…

Flash back

I woke up screaming, after another nightmare of Edward leaving. I was gasping for breathe, as the memories of the nightmare came back to me. I stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom. I stared at my face in the mirror. I had dark, ugly bags under my eyes from the sleep I had been missing, and my hair looked like a birds nest. No wonder he left me. I should have known that he didn't love me. Who could?

I punched the reflection of my face in the mirror, I couldn't look at it any longer. The mirror shattered, shards cutting into my hands. Yet I felt no pain, just….relief. I was so glad Charlie was working late, he didn't need to see this.

Blood was pouring from the cuts on my hands, it strangely felt good. I wasn't even bothered by the smell. At school I'd heard some kids talking about cutting themselves, I never understood, I always thought that they were just doing it for attention. But as I watched the blood seeping out of my cuts, I understood. It was like all the pain I had been feeling since he left was fading away, for the first time since he left, I felt nothing. It made me numb, and I liked it.

I searched my bathroom floor for the sharpest shard I could find. I picked up a triangular shaped piece and held it above my wrist. Should I do this? I stood there for a minute, thinking. Is this the kind of person I wanted to become? I mean, if Edward……But HE isn't here, HE is never coming back. He doesn't love me, he doesn't care. A part of me knew that wasn't true, but I couldn't help thinking it was. I had to do this.

I pressed the sharp edge against my left wrist, closed my eyes and quickly dragged it across my skin. Blood instantly began pouring out, and I couldn't help but watch as it dripped slowly down the sink. I did it again, harder this time and more blood started to pour out. This is when I chose to panic. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my arm in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

I sat with my back leaning against the bath. I felt nothing. It was amazing, after living with so much pain, I had finally found a way to escape from it. I stood up, my head spinning slightly, and started cleaning up the blood and shards of the mirror I broke. What would I say to Charlie? I guess ill just buy another mirror, say it was one of my many accidents. I cleaned an wrapped my cuts, unaware of the salty tears that were streaming down my face

End of flash back.

Finally the bell went and I made my way to my truck. I started it up and drove home, again driving slowly. I didn't want to go to school, and now I didn't want to go home. I pulled up in my driveway about15 minutes later. Charlie was home, so I smiled as I made my way through the front door.

"Hey Dad." I smiled at him

"Hey, you okay?" He replied, smiling back.

"I'm great" I lied. But this answer seemed to make him happy.

"Good" He seemed genuinely happy, so I kept up the act.

"I'm going to do some homework" I said, running up the stairs. But I tripped when I got to the top, falling straight. I laughed at myself and went to my room.

I didn't actually have any homework, due to the fact that I didn't listen to a word any of the teachers said. So I lay on my bed and listened to my Ipod. About 2 hours later I realized that it was a bad idea.. It began playing my lullaby, I completely lost it. Ripping the earphones out my ears, I threw the ipod on the floor. Better idea. I thought, opening the window, I threw it out, and watched as it smashed on the driveway.

I may have over-reacted. A little. But is this how I'm meant to live my life? Being constantly reminded that I would never see them again?

Somewhere in my destruction of my 106£ Ipod, I managed to tear open my newest cut, the sleeve on my wrist being soaked with red. I welcomed the pain, it seemed to calm me down.

"Bella, you okay?" Charlie asked, opening my bedroom door.

"Yeah, Great" I hid my wrist behind my back and answered with another fake smile.

" Dinners ready." He said "What was that noise I heard?"

" Oh, it was, nothing, I'll be down in a minute" I waved my arms, signalling for him to leave. The door closed and I re-wrapped my wrist and changed my T-Shirt. I made my way downstairs, this time tripping on the bottom step, causing Charlie to burst out in laughter. I gave him a look and he immediately stopped laughing at me.

I sat down at the kitchen table next to him, and looked at my plate. Ravioli.

"Smells great" I said, and started moving the ravioli round my plate, I wasn't hungry, and this made it look as though I had eaten something. Thankfully, Charlie didn't notice. I took his plate and mine and started to wash up.

"Bella…There's something I need to tell you." He was looking at his feet.

"What is it?" I was getting worried now, he stood up and came to stand next to me.

"I had a phone call today……..I don't know if I should tell you this, but, …" He was rambling.

"What?"

"There coming back"…………….

a/n So what did you think? Please review.