Thanks for the reviews of the last chapter, I am glad that they slowed down I swear I might have been the worse fanfic writer in history if I had let tat happen so soon. But thanks for the feedback.

Okay so this isn't my favorite chapter, I think I might be coming across writer's block so please tell me what you think.

I was awoken the next morning by the sound of the shower running. Christian must be up. I thought stretching out on the sofa a little more. I had figured staying the night was harmless but we had both agreed that staying in his bed could lead to more problems than we were ready for so I opted for the couch. He offered me the bed but honestly, I don't trust my self in anyone else's bed anymore. They where like curses to me every time I sat on one I ended up naked with its owner; unless of course the owner was a female. It was like they where their own lust charm.

My current epiphany made me a little self conscious. Despite the rumors, this didn't happen everyday and I certainly had never stayed in the room afterwards. I began to look at what I was wearing to make sure everything was still in place. I knew Christian wasn't that type of guy but who knows about me these days.

"Is everything in working order" Christian said laughing at me in the process.

"Yeah, I think" I responded making no effort to hide the fact that I was checking to make sure I was still fully dressed.

"Good now hurry up, I am hungry" he said still laughing.

"Any hot water left?"

"Yeah But you don't have any clothes here."

"Well if I go back to my room it will take me longer. Just let me borrow something I'll give it back I promise." I said.

"Fine sweats or jeans?" he asked shuffling through his closet.

"Sweats, I actually want to be comfortably today." I said. "And a t-shirt"

"What are you going to do today?" he asked. I hadn't told him that I was going to talk to lissa this morning but part of me didn't really want to.

"I'm going to see lissa" I sort of mumbled. He heard me anyway and his face got cold. "Awe come on Christian, I know your pissed I still am too but she is like my sister we have to do something and besides I need to know why she cut herself."

"Well have fun but I am not going with you, I don't owe her anything." he snapped as he threw the clothes on the bed.

I wasn't in the mood for another argument least of all with him; therefore I gave him a small nod and walked into the bathroom. Stepping into the shower I accepted the fact that this was going to be hard but I needed to focus on me and regrettably that meant dealing with lissa and Christian's attitudes or more importantly Christian's attitude toward Lissa.

……….........a few hours later………………

"Is she awake yet?" I asked the nurse at the front desk.

"Yes, but maybe you should talk to her after she is well." the nurse said. That's when I recognized her as one of the nurses that watched me explode Saturday night.

"I promise I will be on my best behavior I just need to talk to her, you can stay in the room if you'd like." I said hoping that would convince her to let me in because if I got turned away today there would be no telling when I would be able to come back. It took me the few hours that Christian was in class to finally make up my mind about coming here in the first place.

"Fine but if you agitate her I will have to remove you" she said sternly. I had no doubt in my mind that if I had to I could take her but I was hoping it wouldn't even get close to that.

She began to walk down the narrow hallways with me in tow until she stopped at room 29. It has often occurred to me that the clinic is as big if not bigger than normal hospitals. But moroi and dhampir almost never get sick. When I asked someone about it they said it was for the injured guardians. But with wards why would they be injured here? It was a pointless conversation at the time but it still crossed my mind when coming or leaving this place.

Pushing open the door and ushering me in I saw lissa laying on her bed staring at the TV. I could tell that she wasn't really watching it. But it seemed to have the other nurses fooled. She looked up at the nurses entrance and then back to her TV. She did a double take when she saw me file in behind her.

"Rose" she whispered. I could feel through the bond her shock and surprise at seeing me and then her pain and guilt for why she thought I was here.

"Lissa I felt that I needed to talk to you before either one of us did something else completely stupid." I said trying and failing to keep both the concern and accusation from my voice.

Lissa had picked up on it and instantly and shot a glance to her bandaged wrists. I then felt the hurt through the bond but took note that her feelings weren't as overpowering as they where the other day. Either they had just given her some medicine or it was beginning to ware off.

"Okay" she said obviously wanting me to continue.

I stayed quiet for a minute trying to find the right words and figure out how to say them. I looked at her face and she looked on the verge of tears.

"Why are you crying?" I asked instead.

"I don't know I have been doing that a lot lately." she said. I could tell that she was being honest and I suddenly got a guilty feeling.

"Listen, to be honest with you, I did come her to ask you why you felt you had to do that to get my attention" I said pointing at her wrists. "It was stupid but I am sure you already know that."

"Yes" she said a tear leaking out of the corner of her eye.

"Then on to the actual problem. I am still mad at you for what you did, and I will admit I overreacted a bit. But could you blame me? I mean I counted on you and you let me down."

I said sitting in the chair next to her bed. She had long since sat up and was now staring at me trying to find her words.

"I was mad." she said after what seemed like ten minutes of thought. "I was jealous that you could get everyone. Dimitri, Adrian, and Christian All three of them where fighting over you. I don't know why I had gotten so jealous I didn't plan on sleeping with Adrian I really did just want to talk. He was mad too and I thought talking would help but when he replayed the events of that day over again the jealousy took over and I suddenly wanted to make him hurt, and to show you that you couldn't have everyone." she said as her tears turned to full sobs. "I regretted it the moment I did it; I had thought that they would have given you enough drugs that you wouldn't be pulled into my head. I was going to tell you just not like that."

"okay so you wanted to teach us both a lesson, I get that, hell I have done that but why in hell wouldn't you tell me about Christian, I mean don't you think it was something that I should have know before you went and slept with my boyfriend. Yes I kissed Christian but that was all it was, it was innocent at the time. That was when I found out that he liked me. Had I known before I probably would have come to you about it so we could get all this figured out. The only one that I really wanted out of those three was Dimitri." I said making sure to keep my voice level.

"I know that now am I am really sorry but why did you get so upset over me and Adrian?" she asked.

"Because whether I liked him or not like you are like a sister to me, and family doesn't do that to each other. Ivashkov isn't someone I want to argue over, I was just filled with so many emotions after seeing Dimitri and Christian proclaiming his love it was just too much." I said staring ahead looking at nothing.

"Are?"

"Huh?" I asked startled out of my trance.

"Well you said are instead of were."

"Yes, you still are I just needed time to figure things out, we have a lot of work to do but I am sure we could do it." I said.

I could almost feel the joy emanating off of her. It felt like she was healing, it was ironic because we where, just nothing physical. I couldn't help but feel elated at the rays of sunshine and the taste of the rainbows in my mouth.

"You don't know how happy I am" she said leaping off the bed and hugging me.

"I think I do actually" I answered hugging her back. "But from now on we have to be totally honest with each other, keeping things from each other doesn't work."

"Of course, of course, I promise I can do that. Just promise the same thing."

"Of course lissa" I said as she went back to her bed. I was going to follow but I suddenly had thoughts about me and beds although this was lissa and neither of us where into each other that way I decided to stay firmly in my chair. With the way our emotions where all over the place at the moment I wouldn't have been surprise if something extreme happened.

"Your wearing Christian's clothes?" she asked a sad smile on her face. I had never seen her wear his clothes but I knew this must have still been a low blow.

"I…um, Lissa I think that I like him to. I mean I know I like him I know you still care for him I just…" I said unsure of how to continue.

"I know, I mean I've known, he cheered you up after what I did to you, to both of you, I should be thanking him for that it just hurts to know he moved on so quickly. He felt bad for hurting my feelings but I went and hurt his." she said staring at me. "Does he know you like him?" she asked.

"Yes, we sorted all of that out before I came here. He is still mad, I wanted him to come with me but he got mad at the mention of your name, he hasn't known you as along as I have. So he doesn't know that you really are sorry. He doesn't want to right now."

"You spent the night with him?"

"He was suppose to be helping me bleach my hair but it didn't work that way and I ended up missing curfew and crashed on his couch." I said sparing her the actual details. I know that I had just promised not to keep things from her but I was as blunt as possible without rubbing it in her face.

"Oh."

"Nothing happened Liss, but speaking of, before you uh…blacked out yesterday I felt your feelings."

"Yeah, Adrian used me, I mean I used him to but I had planned on still having him for a friend. He wouldn't even talk to me, he told me to drown in the vodka, I wanted to but I needed someone to comfort me, I thought about Eddie but it wouldn't have been fair to him, he would have read to much into it and I would have hurt him so I locked him out."

"Adrian is an asshole Lissa something that until now you haven't seen, I gave him the benefit of the doubt but I wasn't the slightest bit surprised that he cheated on me. I am sorry you had to find out that way."

"It's okay, but now I guess I will never know how to dream walk." she said with a slight smile.

"We'll manage just like we had before all these guys came into our lives."

"Well I guess it's us against the world now kids" she said imitating Andre's voice as a tear slid down her cheek. That was what he said to us when ever we would get in trouble for doing stupid things. We have been deserving of that since we had run away two years ago. It brought a tear to my eye just thinking about him. Neither of us had thought of Andre since the beginning of the year and even then it was all negative. He did what he had to for the Dragomire name but he cared about his family. He used to get me out of a lot of things and he was always so sure that I would be the best guardian ever. Man I missed him right now, we wouldn't have needed to make up because Andre wouldn't have let us fight, he would have played middle man until we understood each other.

With this in mind I got up and walked to lissa pulling her into a hug. I was happy that we where talking again, I had missed her even though it was only a few days, it was still precious time that we had lost together.

"I have to go to Dr. Olendzki made me promise to talk to a counselor once a week." I said making a face. "I guess I'll see you later?"

"Okay. Thank you Rose, I know I must have told you I was sorry a thousand times but I really mean it."

"I know, and I am sorry too, one day we will look past this and realized how crazy we acted." I said.

"I hope that day comes soon" she said

"So do I" I answered walking out of the room. The day when we could laugh at this would be the day that we where close again. When all the awkward silences where gone. And we could be completely open with each other. I decided then that I couldn't wait for that day to come

Okay so let me clear some things up, they are only able to makeup this quickly because of their history, I.e. the reason Christian is being kind of a but about it. I just started feeling really bad for lissa and I didn't want another dimitri run in just yet. Please tell me what you think. If it is really bad I will make sure the next one is better. (I learn from mistakes) thanks.