Disclaimer: this is a totally unoriginal work of fiction and I don't own anything.
Summary: It's been a quiet week at the CBI office, and pranks are great entertainment for a mischievous consultant.
Agent Cho was leaning back in his chair, engrossed in a book. He tried to ignore the sound of Rigsby devouring breakfast nearby. It was still early in the morning and Cho hoped to knock off a few chapters before Lisbon arrived and found work for them.
Leopold pulled Temperance into a crushing embrace. Temperance surrendered to the passion that filled her veins, and returned his kiss hungrily.
Cho blinked, confused. Who the hell were Temperance and Leopold and were they doing in the middle of his murder mystery novel? He scanned the rest of the page. Burning passion, heaving bosoms, a tall handsome man with a sword… it was a completely different story. Cho turned the page and discovered that the mystery narrative resumed again on the next page. Perhaps it was a printing error. He shrugged and carried on reading his book.
A few minutes later, Cho frowned again. Here was another page about Temperance. The pages were bound as tightly as the rest of the book, and the numbering was consistent. How did they get there and what happened to the missing pages from his mystery novel?
Cho stood up and walked over to the leather couch and the man dozing on it. He paused and then smacked the man on the head with the novel.
"Jane, you are buying me a new book."
Patrick Jane winced and held up his hands to fend off further attack. "Why, is it your birthday soon?"
"Don't pretend to be innocent. I know what you did."
Rigsby looked up from his bagel with interest. "What did he do?"
Cho took the book over to Rigsby and held it open. Rigsby stared at him in confusion but read the page aloud.
"Leopold was unable to contain his desire for Temperance any longer. He ripped open her bodice and caressed the creamy skin…" Rigsby whistled and grinned and Cho. "Wow, I didn't know you read this kind of stuff."
"I don't," said Cho curtly. "Jane replaced some pages."
"If you want to read more, I can get you the rest of the book," Jane offered innocently.
Cho just sighed and flopped back down on his chair. It was going to be a long day.
Half an hour later, Lisbon stomped into the office. Her dark hair swished around her face and her green eyes flashed dangerously. Cho and Rigsby watched as she approached Jane's couch and stood over him, arms crossed.
"What the hell did you do to my book, Jane? I went to read it last night and the pages were all messed up with some story about a detective.
"Why does everyone always assume I did something?" Jane asked plaintively, sitting up.
"Because you're the only pain in the ass around here," Lisbon replied. She looked up and noticed Cho and Rigsby staring at her. Rigsby was smirking.
"What?" she snapped.
It was Cho who replied, his face expressionless. "Is your book about a woman named Temperance, by any chance?"
"Yes, how did you…"
"The missing pages are in here," Cho explained, holding up his book. "You didn't miss much, just burning passion and quivering loins."
Rigsby was trying hard not to laugh, and Lisbon suddenly felt very embarrassed. She felt a blush spread to her cheeks.
"The rest of the book isn't like that. It's a historical drama," she insisted defensively.
"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Lisbon. Many women read romance novels," Jane said soothingly.
Lisbon glared at Jane and then kicked him in the shins before stomping off towards her office.
Jane followed Lisbon and put his hand on the office door to stop her closing it. "At least I know what to get you for Christmas."
"A new book?" Lisbon asked waspishly.
"No, a gown with a lace-up bodice."
Lisbon slammed the door in his face.