?!?: It's got time now!
Luis: You damn right!
Salazar: But it's not my fault! I just wanted to play!
Mendel: Why can't you get a GameCube like everyone else?
Salazar: Because I always end up playing with myself! On the joystick, after a while, my right hand starts to hurt and-
Leon: Just please stop. Every time you talk it's -just don't say anything for now!
Salazar: Aww man!
XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDD
Chapter XII: Double Double Penetration O_o
8:25 p.m.
So the plan went as follows:
The four of them are to sneak in the mansion, castle, whatever and somehow wait for Salazar to return back when he realizes that 1.) Mendel isn't there (because it just might work) 2.) Leon and Luis are 'gone'. Hopefully he will ignore number 1. and just go search for the two of them. If he does, it won't take long for him to come back for a break until a second round.
"Anyone else realizes how many holes this plan has in it as I do," Leon asked the rest of his team. "You're such a worry wart! It's so cuuute 3!!!" Luis exclaimed. "Not to worry comrade- Hold on a sec," he told them as familiar ringtone went off from what seemed to be a Metro cell.
"Yes hello? Oh, hi there boss! We're about to start the show in a few. Uh-huh! He's right on the couch eating listen," He held the phone away from him. "Hi dada!" He said in a mocking high-pitched voice. "Well see ya boss!" He hastily hung up the cell. Everyone just looked at him. "What?! Gotta keep my connections. Let's just go before the idiot finds out!"
So they went on, but Pooh trailed behind of course because he was jealous (Why couldn't I get a phone ! :o) It actually took them about 20 minutes so I must waste a time card to emphasize to them.
8:47 p.m.
"WE KNOW!!!!" Leon fussed. Liar. Let's take a look at what everyone else is doing. Cliffhangers rulez!
?!?!?!?
Ashley
"Daddy, we have to keep looking for him!"
"But it's been days! Something's odd though," He looked over into the night at the mysterious island. It was shaped like almost like -
"Rokkenjima? Anyhow, as I was saying, he must-" He dramatically pointed over yonder. "-Be a mermaid!!!" Ashley gasped. "Like Ariel!!! You're right! Let's return in-" she checked a watch she drew on with a permanent marker (apparently it was 35 o' clock) "The day after tomorrow!" I love that movie!
*DEEEDEEEHUHURHUR*
Salazar
"I wonder where that man is! I'm ready to go! There you are!" Before Salazar's eyes was a life-sized mannequin of teh Big Cheese. "Where've you been?" "....." The childish man pouted "Answer meh!" "......???" He tried pushing the model over (which for some reason, had the ecstatic smile on his face) and because it was weak, (and I don't know a thing of physics) it toppled into him.
"Meaaah! Hmmm..." He hushed as the weight of the body settled on him. "Oh you naughty man! I guess we could hold off on those two...."
Snuggling ensued-
THIS SCENE HAS BEEN CUT TO ALL VIEWERS
RATED N FOR NOONE!
*HOHOH-OH*
Merchant
/Mmmm, Leon....Cuuuute strangaaa..../ The Merchant was in his secret house (somewhere) living it up! It wasn't shabby either, very classy in fact. He just liked dressing like a rapist.
"No I do not! Capcom did this to me!" He lied out loud to himself. He went back to his position A: hand on crouch slowly teasing himself. Ohh the things that man did to him! He should of got rid of Luis, da bastard!!!
Just as the thought came to mind, there was break at his window- "Ey! Ain't no law against it yet" he gave his plea as the infiltrator just stared at him with his hand half-way *there*. "You could have knocked you know?!?" But the look on the person was obviously serious so he shut his trap.
"Okay, they went to the castle," He stated flatly.
"Humph!" the person sighed and left as quickly as it came.
"Jeez, this Motherf*cka HERE!!!"
LOLOLOL
Pablo
"Well, at least I have you, my beautiful grape soda," he said as he placed his relished drink on the bench where he sat. /Finally.../
I like happy endings!
33333333
Penetrators O_o
Okay enough fun. By now they were inside the dining room where Leon like many others, were first fed. Mendel held the lead since he knew everywhere and everything, followed by Pooh, Leon, then Luis (so he see his $$!). /Where could he be?/ Mendel thought really hard. "If I were a childish, psychopathic idiot, I would probably be somewhere humping... a beanie bag." The other three companions just looked at each and gave a 'whoa!' expression.
*creak*
Luis had caught the sound first, because it came from behind him. Another intruder!? "Who the hell are you!" He demanded with a revolver aimed high. Right above someone's right...Breast? "N*gga please! Out of my way! I've had enough of you idiots, lollygagging around. After all of this time, I'm finally ready to kill that midget and his FATHER!!!"
At this time, Leon, Pooh, and Mendel just stared at the both of them being so DAMN Loud and stupid. "Hmmm, I remember you!" Pooh blurted. So did Luis. "Hey yeah! You were trapped down where I was before! Ada... What was it? Ding, Dong?"
"Rahh! It's Long you dipshit! And that is just trivial matter. Thank you for being decoys, I'll be sure not to kill you after I'm finished with Salazar," She walked right on past Luis, who still had his gun raised. "My partner is waiting for me," and thus she continued her strut.
"So, she's been watching us this whole time, and basically used us as scapegoats! Creep!" Leon raged. Ada had gone up the stairs where Salazar's room was. Guess he haaaaad her there? Anyhoo, the four followed and arrived to the corridor with the sound of thumping.
*thump*
*thumpthumpthumpTHUMPTHUMPTH~UMP*
There was a freakish blonde man standing along with Ada, who Leon barely recognized, but they just stood there in shock.
Mendel was only half-right, but correct none the less
It wasn't a beanie bag (he had one in the corner of the room, though) but it was a life-sized doll of Mendel.
Out of the six, five couldn't believe, one did, except the fact he was the model for the doll.
Apparently Salazar didn't hear a thing until about a minute had passed until Ada's partner let out a short gasp.
"Huh," Salazar gasped when his sense finally kicked in to see the two traitors and four escapees.
"You will all DIE!!!...After I finish..."
10 minutes later (and they actually waited!)
"Now then PREPARE YOURSELVES!!!" They all tensed up. Not giving him a chance (they must play the same video games) Ada and Pooh fired their guns directly at Salazar's head- to no avail! "Hot SAUCE!!! KOBE!!!" Luis gave a (?) war cry as he threw a grenade from where they had spread out in the hallway.
*bounce* *boo~omp*
Bombs didn't even disrupt his clothing!
The blonde man was freakish because 1). He jumped in front of Leon. 2)"I'll protect you baby!" AND, 3.) He sprouted from his left arm,... A wing? Or some type of shield!
*CENSORED*
Instead of telling you what happened in the moments after this intriguing epic fail battle, I have a quick story:
This is the story, of The Ugly Barnacle
He was so ugly,
That everybody died. The end! :3
Salazar made it to his cell phone charging downstairs, uninterrupted. "Hey, Dad? It's me, um, how do you clean up like a mini-massacre? People parts are everywhere upstairs!" He held the phone away from his ears: Fussing and cussing' Daddy.
"Okay, I'm sorry! Jeez. No, I didn't say anything else! Bye Daddy!"
He sighed and trudged back upstairs.
"Impossible!"
All of the body parts, blood, and weapons had disappeared!
XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDD
?!?: Looks like everyone's gone, now who to talk to?
Ashley: I R here.
?!?: True, but I think just spelling your name just put my intelligence down -10 points.
Ashley: Aww. *pout*
?!?: Hey!c How about, we...um...
Ashley: Eat stuff!
?!?: I like your language!