Well here is chap. 32 I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading.

Neither of us said a word to the other while we walked to his room but there was something in the air between us that until Adrian pointed it out was hidden well enough to ignore. "Should you start or should I?" I asked sitting on the couch.

"You actually think that we have things to work out? I mean Adrian is starting trouble cant you see that?…" he said. That might have been the start of a whole blame Adrian for everything speech but when he noticed I wasn't stopping him he got quiet again. "…what?"

"This is exactly what he was talking about, now look I don't like the fact that he is counseling our relationship for us but he's right to an extent." I said simply.

"What do you mean?"

"Sit down Christian, your not making any of this any easier." I said.

"So you just want to break up with me?" he asked flatly.

"That's not what I want. But see we are on completely different pages. We need to figure out what we want out of this."

"You don't think that I want you."

"Trust me I know that you do, but I told you just because I want to have sex with you doesn't mean I'm going to. I want us to be right first."

"I don't get it, how can we be anymore than what we are without having sex?" he said finally sitting down next to me. I had to search his face because his voice wasn't giving anything away.

"We could start at the beginning and be completely honest with each other."

"Well, I thought I was falling in love with you after the whole Spokane thing, I knew I was in love with you when I found you in the gym that day he left you. I didn't say anything because you were still hung up over him. But when you kissed me I knew you felt the same way or at least I thought you did." he hung his head so that I couldn't see his face at all.

"Christian, I am really flattered that's what you think but I wasn't…I'm not just hung up over him, I love him I know that it might hurt you to hear me say that but it's true, I love you to but in a different way. I want to be with you but you have to respect the fact that before I can actually be with you I have to correct mistakes and that's what I am trying to do."

"So you want me to stand by and wait for you to be ready to 'actually' be my girlfriend? Ya know most people would just say I think we should see other people." he said not letting his anger get the best of his voice. If I didn't know him I wouldn't have even known it was there at all.

The room was silent for a minute while I thought about what I had just said, in my mind it made sense I thought he would understand. So why in the hell is he upset I am telling him to give me a chance to fix things with both Adrian and Dimitri so there won't be anything or anybody in the middle of our relationship.

"You don't get it-"

"Oh I get it, you want all of us, there are things in each of us that you want but guess what you can't have them all. It's one of us or none of us."

"You have no right telling me who I can be friends with."

"That's not what I'm doing, I have no problem with you being friends with Adrian or Dimitri but you don't just want to be friends. But I'm going to give you the time that you need to figure it out. But don't expect me to just put my life on pause because you are."

"Are you mad at me?" I asked. Normally I wouldn't care but Christian's extremely accurate accusations had me feeling ashamed of what I was asking him to do.

"Yes, but I know that I shouldn't be. I knew this was coming, we were to perfect when we started dating."

"So this is it?"

"For now I guess." he said looking me in my eyes. Those ice blue ones held all the pain that I felt. "Have I gone to far to still be your friend?" he added with a smirk.

"Never," I said pulling him into a hug. "I just couldn't imagine life without your emo commentary."

"Promise me something though," he said after he stopped laughing. It was good to see another emotion in those eyes even though it didn't fully override his pain.

"What?" I asked warily. There was a long pause before he addressed my question.

"Make sure you figure it out because technically we never actually gave 'us' a chance." Once again, he was right, and that had been my plan from the start of this conversation, no need to restate the obvious though.

"I promise." I said as he released me.

"Now what?"

"Now we go to bed, to much in one day, and somewhere outside our own little issues there are other things that need to be taken care of."

"Good point, how can you be both wild and rational?" he said throwing me my pillows and blankets.

"It's a gift love. Now go to bed, I don't want to be rude and fall asleep on you while you're talking." I said in between laughing fits. Somehow it felt as if we hadn't just been fighting about who I wanted to be with. He was pretending for me even though he said he wouldn't and I knew I owed him.

It wasn't long before it was completely dark in the room although I could tell neither of us was sleeping. We had been through a lot today, I lost a boyfriend and gained a friend but I had to work this out for both his sake and mine.

Okay before many of you kill me you have to keep in mind that nothing is that easy. I had to do it…that's why it took me so long to update again. Now I know how Richelle must have felt when she turned Dimitri. You know the whole I don't want to do it but I gotta do it. Many of you might actually want to stop reading but this isn't the end of the story (yet) so if you want to see (semi) happier days stay tuned.