?: Nearing the end you guys, are you READY!
Everyone (except Mendel): YEAH!
?: What's wrong Mendel? You're like a total babe now!
Mendel: I know; it's just this plan thing seems kinda awkward, I don't even know what a gigolo is!
Luis: *all smart looking with some glasses* My dear William—
Mendel: That's not my name!
Luis: *not paying attention* A gigolo is like Ada—
Ada: What? Listen, Sera! I'll have you know—
Luis: *still not paying attention* Except you get paid! *shuts an upside-down Curios George book*
Spawn: *thinks* Well that makes sense. So you're a prostitute!
Leon: Oh my god. *face-palms*
Spawn: Oh cool, I wanna be a gigolo! :3
Obama: A waste of tax payers' money!
XDXDXDXDXDXDXDX
Chapter XV: The Night of Our Lives
Well the plan was ready to be put to the test! And the 'Retart Rejects' headed to the castle once more to settle the score with Salazar and all of the pain he put them through. /// But he did bring us all together!/// Pooh thought inside of his head happily. ///Even if Tigger isn't here…///. "Hey Hunter; you alright over there?" Ada was near the back and watched as his inner thoughts slowed him down.
"Just remembering old times is all. Please call me Pooh; that's always been my original name." Ada's eyes opened wide. "You're Pooh, the Lost Love of the Tigger the Terrible?" She said in astonishment. "Huh? Where do you know Tigger from?" Pooh's eyes lit up. She nodded earnestly. "Why, he' rampaged through many a village to find the one who betrayed his family. They always said the real reason was because someone took the life of his love, Winnie the Pooh," they both stopped walking.
"Pooh, he's down in the cellar. Part of Salazar's side show was to show the 3-day/night thing on the surface, and underground have another illegal match to the death between captives in exchange for their freedom! He was captured here not long ago, but wanted to end his life," She shook his shoulders. "We have to go back and rescue him! Despite his anger, he's a good man! Only you could give him the will to live again!" Pooh stood there shocked.
///Tigger is alive! Move your feet you idiot!///
"Take me to him," Pooh said with a straight face. "This way," Ada veered him to the right by his paw urgently. Don't ask why no one else didn't notice they were gone. But as they ran, he did something he wasn't able to in a long time—smile.
He smiled.
/*-/*-/*-/*-/*-
8:50 p.m.
"Umm, where did Ada and Pooh R-U-N-N-O-F-T to?" Krauser whispered to Mendel. "We can spell you know!" Leon and Luis yelled simultaneously. They decided to come back later (I personally think they were some lazies at the time) and continued on to the mansion. Defeating Salazar comes first!
"Where are you from Krauser?" Mendel asked since it was too quiet walking next to the man. "Nowhere worth mentioning and you," The man answered mysteriously. He shot him a…look. "Err... So, how do you know Leon?" Mendel was good a changing subjects; his eyes turned a deep red. "Oh, high school. And the armed forces back in the day." He gave a little chuckle. "And he still haven't changed, bastard! Ain't that right Leon—"
They both turned around where Luis and Leon should have been.
Except they weren't... "We have to keep moving!" Krauser pulled Mendel by the waist.
?*******?
"Leon! Leon what the hell—"Leon slammed him against a tree trunk; covering his mouth with a strong hand. "Shhh, you're sexier with your mouth shut…" The glowing-red eyes of the man looked over Luis (like a rapist would). Luis muffled in protest; but the weight and strength of the unfamiliar man pressed into him, and there was not an opening left for an attack. ///Of all the timing in the world, this man just had to go evil now!/// Leon searched around the man's hips… he pulled the Red9 out of its holster.
"Let's play a little game," he suggested and released his grip Luis' mouth. "Let's not and say we did!" You can't blame Luis for trying. "Heh, you're pretty cute. No wonder Leon loves you so much, I'm pretty jealous," Luis couldn't help but ask a question. "Is that really true? That Leon loves me? And why do you talk as though you are separate from Leon?" That last question seemed to annoy the other man.
"Yes, yes, and yes. He loves you, and I am not Leon. I'm and advanced life form using this body as a temporary vessel. I can just read his conflicting thought is all; rather annoying really…" Luis 'oohed'. But why are you intent of killing me?" Luis asked. "Because," the parasite huffed. "It's the only way my master will give me cookies! He said that is the only way!"Luis used his thinking for a minute."Hey life form; I'll give you a mountain of cookies under one condition: leave Leon's body!" The two squared of at this deal.
"Deal, come on ese; free cookies don't come often." Luis offered.
"Deal!" Life Form answered, strong-willed.
/*-/*-/*-/*-/*-
"Hey Pooh! We're here!"
Pooh didn't need to be told that; this secret underground place just looked like a pit of death! Warriors were fighting over burritos, others were playing a deep game of strip poker; it was horrible! Ada asked someone who looked very familiar: 'Have you seen The Terrible around'. The furry warrior nodded and pointed to the right of him, which was the way to the Coliseum of Pyro-Phantasia. "Let's hurry; he's almost about to start his campaign!"
Pooh ran along her urgently; he wouldn't let this last time to be with his love disappear. There was a set of lockers lining along a hall, the two could see at the end… the figure of their prize.
"Go get your tiger," Ada stood still. It was no one else but Tigger! Pooh ran at full speed towards his old lover, who was unsuspectingly checking himself in a full mirror. He finally wanted to die in this last battle, he thought to himself. Like now in the mirror, he would usually see visions of the little bear. ///I loved him so much…/// It was times like these he would cry, if he could. He wanted to shed one last tear, when the sweet delusion, which would have been behind him had it was real, hugged him from behind. "Tigger," it called him by his true name.
The hallucinations never touched him before. Tigger set his paws over the ones on his waist, looking wantonly into the reflection. "Pooh…" He saw Ada in the reflection, a little farther away, and he knew this was not his imagination.
It was his turn to do something he wasn't able to do in a long while—cry.
He turned to face his lover, got down on his knees, and cried.
/~~~~~/3\~~~~~\
Krauser and Mendel crept through the house, four people short. Mendel, barely ale to see because of the lenses (and it was dark) almost bumped into a wall's corner. Krauser caught him just in time. "You okay? Those contacts take time to get used to," The blonde said, holding the other man a bit too long. "Thank you, Krauser. You're really an okay guy." Mendel wondered what the hell was happening to his heart. It hadn't felt like that since Salazar gave him a mild heart attack. Krauser, we have some time left. I needed some advice," Krauser nodded.
"Anything you need, I'll do. What is Mendel?' "Well, I don't know how to seduce anyone. What if he doesn't buy this whole act," the usually calm man was beginning to get frantic. "Then you kiss him," Krauser stated as though the teacher wrote the answer to number three on the board. "But how do I—"Krauser took the role of teacher and pulled his student in an embrace. "Like this," he brushed his lips over the other's mouth. He teasingly slipped his tongue into the man's surprised mouth. What a twist of events!
"That's how you do it…" Krauser said seductively as he pulled his lips away. Still dazed, Mendel staggered away from the embrace and led the way upstairs.
Salazar's Bedroom Door: The Gate to Hell!
This mere fact (and pure anxiety) kept Krauser at the edge of the door, out of sight as his new crush walked through the door. ///I have a really bad feeling about this…/// He thought to himself. He was only concerned about Mendel's safety. Krauser was right to worry.
Salazar shrieked with joy as the man walked through the door. "Hey, you look different Big Cheese! Did you get a haircut?" Mendel did a mental face palm. Oh yeah, he had to seduce an idiot. "Something like that. Sal, let's talk for a minute," Mendel shut the door shut. Krauser was very unpleased.
***Don't Stop Me NOW!***
"Bye bye! Come back again!" Luis waved off to the alien life form Tuco who was in the process of getting a ride from his homey, Rico. "See ya later Luis! Thanks for the cookies and telling me how to get more!" Rico from above zapped him with a levitating device that allowed him onto the floating ship. Luis continued to wave as the far advanced, red-tinted alien rose to the air craft, like a graceful angel. And then the two were off, their million tear mission complete.
Luis was holding Leon in his arms; he was temporarily knocked unconscious earlier once Tuco had left his body. "Hey," Luis said as he shook the blonde gently. "Wakey wakey, my sexy ese!" Leon gradually opened his eyes. "Mmmh... What did I fall asleep again Luis?" The tan man held him tighter, running a finger along his chin. "Yeah, you did. I'll tell you all about it later, 'cuz right now we have to get to Salazar!" Leon hopped to his feet.
"Then why the hell are we lying around? Let's go!" Leon started a steady sprint.
Luis chuckled as he got to his feet; he was glad he stashed away those Lance cookies.
He was even happier that was all it took to live.
And even more ecstatic that Leon loved him.
"Wait up jefe!"Luis called after the army man.
9:15 p.m.
"I needed to talk to you in private." Mendel really didn't want to go through with this; but he had to save Leon and everyone else. "What's so important besides pudding skin that you need to talk to me in private about?" Salazar questioned with a creepy smile on his face. "Hmmm, maybe I'll listen if you… take your jacket off. Have you been working out?" The tall man just really that he really has been sexually harassed before, he just never paid attention.
"Okay…" He obliged near tears and began to take his cool clothes off of his limp body, his lenses changing bluish-gray.
And then a—OBJECTING foot rammed in the door!
"Oh I don't think so betch!" The owner of the foot howled.
Krauser.
"What are you—" Mendel was about to yell at the cocky man. But then another interruption took place. It was from the window behind Salazar. It was Kristallnacht all over again!
Tigger arose from the shards of shattered glass.
"Still causing trouble I see. What have you been up to Salazar?" He asked in a cold, calculating voice. He adjusted a golden revolver at his hp, swiftly to his right hand. "I thought you off to get yourself killed Terrible!" The short man exclaimed. Tigger rubbed the scar along his nose. "And you thought I wasn't going to find out…You had Pooh on this island above me for all of this time," His voice changed to a deep growl.
"Well you see what had happened was…" Salazar tried to begin an excuse. Pooh and Ada made it through the door, tired from running to catch up with Tigger. "Don't kill him yet," Pooh urged as he went towards Tigger. After he heard about a sentence of the story, he kissed Pooh goodbye and set after to kill Salazar. "We must find out the antidote; the friend who helped me along the way is poisoned!" Pooh put an arm around Tigger's outstretched arm, lowering the gun.
"I'll give you five minutes to show us the antidote," Tigger stated.
"Okay, okay! Mendel, aren't you gonna protect me?" His eyes wavered to the tall man. "Hmp! So now you know my real name? I don't think so, Salazar," Mendel felt alive at telling this to someone he once served hand and foot to. Tigger pointed the gun again, demanding that he should get moving.
The seven of them moved out of the room, down the stairs and into the dining room.
The last burst of OBJECTION came from the mansion door.
Leon and Luis.
Everyone turned to look at the two. "You all look as though you've never seen a white man before," Leon joked. "One of you is supposed to be dead!" Salazar screamed in an outrage. "Since there's no need for a antidote, what should we do with this little man?" Luis asked the shocked faces. "I'm completely cured! It was all because of Luis!" Leon assured everyone.
"But how the hell did you find the cure?"Salazar glared at Luis. "I should have murdered you when I had the chance!" Luis laughed this off.
"I didn't find a cure; I had the antidote the entire time: Cookies." Luis snickered.