Your probably going to hate me for this one…and maybe the next two…considering that I only have two chapters left after this one. It's been real fun but I have bigger things in mind for rose so this one has to end. I was just thinking about ending it cold turkey but I hate it when people do that to me. I hope you enjoy anyway.
Perfection exists in everything and everybody contrary to popular belief but nothing can stay perfect forever there are to many variables and not enough constants in the world. We can try to hang on to our perfections for as long as possible but we are variables too. In the risk of sound philosophical for every personal perfection gained, someone else's has been ripped away. I should know since I have had many life experiences to prove as much.
"Are you even listening to me Rose?" Christian asked me getting annoyed all over again. We had been arguing for about an hour now. At first it was over who drank the rest of the orange juice, then it turned into a completely relationship oriented fight.
"No I'm afraid not Christian, because I fail to see why your getting mad about a damn carton of orange juice." I said as I pushed the metal doors to the gym opened and ignoring the current pace of the argument.
"Your kidding right, this isn't about the damn orange juice Rose and you know it."
"Look can we talk about this later, we have to practice. Hey Dimitri" I said hoping he would just drop it.
"Oh yeah choose everyone but me, that never gets old does it?" he said stopping.
I froze as well, turned my back towards Dimitri, and stared Christian in the face. "What did you just say?"
"You heard me, your trying to have your cake and eat it to. You don't want to be with me but you expect me to jump at every command. And a week ago I would have but this isn't working for me anymore."
"So again this is about sex? Can't you think with anything other than your dick?"
"I told you before that you think about it as much as I do..." I waited while he found the rest of his words. "Only it isn't me you want to have sex with is it? You're still so bent over Dimitri that you would give your self to him without hesitation."
He stunned me, I couldn't tell him no because the fact of the matter was that I would have had sex with Dimitri had he asked me.
"That's what I thought. So I'll do you one better how about you just forget me in this whole damn equation of yours."
"Christian-" I was on the verge of tears
"No, save it, that was the choice you wanted to make a week ago, you just wanted things to stay about you. And the funny thing is you go on and on about Royals being worthless and doing what they want but how are you any better?"
"I'm not worthless..." I said trying to hold back the tears that welled in my eyes.
"Yes you are, you let your emotions get in the way of everything, if you were honest with me from the beginning we wouldn't be here. That's the type of shit that cost Mason is life, your to needy and picky. You wanted love we wanted to give you that but you didn't want it from him...or me. Guardian belikov might love you but what can he do about it now. Him sneaking around with you would give you the reputation that people already think you should have."
Just like that, the tears dried up. Part of me swallowed what he said as being true, and confirming my fears aloud. The other more dominate part of me wanted to make him suffer for every word he had said to me in the course of an hour. I think that both Dimitri and Christian could tell but the later didn't care he wanted a fight. He must have, he couldn't have said something like that and expected me not to retaliate physically.
"Rose don't-" was the last thing I heard before I let my anger completely consume me.
I was fully aware of everything going on around me as Christian and I sparred only it wasn't a professional as usual there was a sort of raw energy about it making it seem more animalistic. I threw punch after punch surprisingly only landing a few of them; I had forgotten how good he had gotten in the last few weeks. He had even gotten some muscles. As I tried to land a kick to his chest, he caught me off guard by punching me in my thigh causing my muscles to lock up. I instantly remembered the day I showed him that. The slight pause was all Dimitri needed to hold us off each other.
"Oh so you can dish realities to everyone else but you can't take them...hypocrite," he said looking at me with no emotion. By then I had stopped fighting against Dimitri's hold.
"Just go, you made it very clear that's what you want"
"Of course I would turn out to be the bad guy. What ever" he said backing up to sit on the bleachers.
"Let go of me I'm fine," I said to Dimitri.
"You two need to go to headmistress Kirova's office."
"Whatever." I said I'd spent enough time in that office not to care.
Now that the anger had subsided the pain came back, but I refused to break down any further in front of them. Christian really had no idea why I couldn't be with him just yet. However, it was too late to tell him, he wouldn't care anymore anyway.
We marched in silence as if we were marching to the gallows. In a way I was, who did I have left to keep me here? I already made it publicly clear that I could care less if I was guarding lissa. Although you would be, an idiot not to notice that, it was said at a weak moment. However, things like that they loved holding over my head.
I could feel Dimitri's eyes on me as I calculated all the reasons the finally had to send me away and all the ways I could get them to let me stay. It occurred to me that maybe he was thinking the same thing, and then as if confirming my thoughts, he stopped.
"Do you want to tell me how long you two have been fighting?" he asked,
"Don't Guardian belikov, I messed up you can't keep covering for me." I said trying to keep my voice hard.
"Wow we're a bit self righteous aren't we?" Christian said from behind Dimitri. However, I knew he didn't want to get into trouble either.
"No, I'm serious. There is really nothing left to keep me here and eventually your word will mean nothing to them Dimitri." as hard as it was for me to admit that it was true.
"But then what would you do? You can't be a guardian without being sanctioned."
"Yeah I know" I began to walk again as if I was really looking to get expelled, Christian's words must have had some other effect on me because I was trying to do the right thing and sadly it was all to prove him wrong. "Even though it's still all about you," I thought solemnly.
"Are you sure?"
I didn't even bother answering him as I continued to walk to the headmistress's office in silence.
"Headmistress?" Dimitri said not hiding his anguish at turning me over to her authority. "May I have a word with you?"
I didn't here the answer because he was now in her office with the door shut. Since this is where most disciplinary action takes place, her walls and doors are thicker than the rest and practically sound proof. If you listened hard, enough you could barely here gibberish not matter whether you were moroi or dhampir.
Dimitri had been in there for almost ten minutes and I hadn't heard any yelling yet so I was taking it as a good sign that could possibly lead to me not being expelled but the odds were not on my side.
"Rose, Christian, she wants to speak with you." he said stepping completely out of the office as we entered and shutting the door behind him. So even, she knew that he would try to protect me.
"Well, I take it both of you know why you are here?" she asked looking down on us over her spectacles that hung off her beak like nose. I still wasn't sure why teachers decided classes made them look stern. Hers just made me want to laugh in her face. Of course that wasn't a possibility for me if I wanted to prove I deserved to stay here...which even I wasn't convinced that I did.
"Yes ma'Am." we said in unison.
"Ah...so you understand the gravity of the situation?" she started. "I'm not surprised though, I'm sure you are aware that there is no easy fix for this...in your case that is."
Therefore, she would address me first okay then. "I know"
"Of course. Now, Guardian Belikov told me everything about the fight even the after parts when he tried to save you again." of course he would have, Dimitri is too honorable to try to cheat the system even if it was for me. "What I want is an explanation of why you would feel the need to attack Prince Ozera."
"If guardian belikov gave you the details of the fight then I don't think I have to much more to add. He provoked me and instead of ignoring it I fought him."
"I see, Prince Ozera? What do you have to say?"
"Nothing, she's right but I provoked her on purpose, I was trying to prove a point."
"And so you did." Kirova said taking her glasses off and sitting them on the desk. "Now you can't very well go unpunished for this so I will have to suspend you and you will have four weeks of community service. Is that understood?"
"Yes" he mumbled.
"Good, you may leave." she said.
out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw him glance at me but I immediately wrote it off as my imagination because not more than twenty minutes ago he told me he didn't care. When the door closed, I focused all of my attention on the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the room.
"As for you, you are aware that your stay here was probationary after kidnapping the princess. Up until now, I have been rather lenient but as of right now you, are here by expelled from St. Vladimir's Academy. You have a month to get your bearings together after which you are to leave the premises for good. I am so disappointed in you Miss Hathaway; I allowed you so many opportunities to be saved because you showed promise. Nevertheless, as I said before a guardian with no discipline is worse than no guardian at all. Now you are excused miss Hathaway."
I was struck hard, everything that I had fought for was crumbling to my feet again. I felt myself choking on tears as I walked out the door as silently as I had come in. I was immediately welcomed not only by Lissa but Adrian Tasha and Dimitri. I was vaguely aware that they all tried to stop me to give me comfort and that Christian wasn't among them but I kept walking replaying the scene repeatedly..."A guardian with no discipline is worse than no Guardian at all."
I know i know hate me now but i told you i have something better for her...but i'm curious if she werent expelled whose guardian do you think she should have been.