Chapter 8: Building up to Pain
Sorry it has been so long since I updated. School was crazy. I had two really difficult upper division physics classes to try and study for. Even by focusing on it, I still failed both of them …. Anyway, it is summer for me know and I hope to be able to write a lot.
So, most of this chapter us just dialogue and background stuff. I like the nice interaction between them, but the next chapter will definitely have more action.
~*G*O*L*D*E*N*~
White is the color of memories lost
Hiding all the pain eroding the heart
Investing in hope no matter the cost
Trying to live in the future's new start
Enjoying the feel of life without frost
As the new day progressed, it seemed as if their hatred was a distant memory lost in the light of their new, though perhaps strange, friendship. The morning was full of good food and pleasant conversation.
"So what should we do now?" Naruto asked, as they cleaned the last of the dishes from breakfast.
Sasuke just glanced up at him with a shrug.
"Well, I guess we are supposed to be learning about each other," Naruto began, talking more to himself than Sasuke, "but, if I have to spend the next week just talking, I will go crazy."
"Then," Sasuke replied rolling her eyes, "maybe you should stop talking. Your voice is enough to make anyone crazy."
"Ha Ha," Naruto snapped back. "I'm serious. What should we do?"
"Train," she replied curtly then walked away into the woods.
"Where are you going?" he yelled, quickly jumping up, throwing the pot in his hand into his pack, and running after her. He ran in the direction where she had disappeared into the trees. After a moment of going through the forest, he entered a clearing where Sasuke was just now pulling up her robes to wrap around her waist.
"What's this?" Naruto asked looking around the rather large flat area surrounded by trees.
"It's the fighting arena for the wilderness training post," Sasuke answered slightly puzzled by Naruto's question. "How do you not know about this place?"
"How come you know about it?" Naruto said, even more confused now.
"It was on the map for the area," she explained. "Haven't you ever been here before?"
"Um … sort of," Naruto started nervously, rubbing the back of his head, as was his habit. "Students come here for survival training, but that is in your first couple years at the academy. I haven't been here in ages. No one really uses it after the first time here because after that, you go outside the Academy to experience different types of terrain."
"Excuses, excuses," Sasuke teased, smirking.
"Whatever," Naruto pouted. "So," he continued, "what should we do?"
"Do?" she asked, raising one eyebrow. "We are in a training arena in a fighting school. Do I need to explain it even more? We … train," she finished talking slowly, as if to a child.
"Not what I meant, jerk," he shot back. "What kind of training should we do? Running. Target Practice. Strength Training. Sparring."
"Why don't you figure it out for yourself? You're supposed to be number one and all that," she taunted.
Naruto huffed and decided he really did not want to talk any more right now, so he settled for the easiest thing he could think of: jogging.
Sasuke watched Naruto with a critical eye as he jogged around the edge of the clearing.
She had not opened to anyone but Kakashi since the death of her family and he had known her and her situation before she had done so. For the last few years, she had distance herself from any connections she had had before that horrible night. Friends were a distraction. Her goal was so impossible that to have any chance of achieving it she had to focus only on it. At least, that is what she told herself.
But Naruto was different.
Over and over, she reasoned that her purpose for getting close to Naruto was only to please the Commander to get a recommendation for the Royal Soldiers, but a small part of her mind whispered that maybe he could mean more than that. The voice was weak enough now to ignore, but she knew, if left alone, that voice would overwhelm her mind.
That thought left her terrified and was the reason she was currently slicing apart the trunk of a tree.
Naruto ran and Sasuke swung her daggar. Neither was really focused on the activity they were doing, but rather on each other. Eventually, both of them were completely worn out: body and mind. Thinking can be more exhausting than the most extreme exercise and they had a lot to think about.
"Should we go train some more?" Naruto asked cautiously after standing around the camp in the awkward silence that followed their meal.
Sasuke contemplated that for a moment, driving Naruto crazy with her silence.
"No," she said finally, making Naruto sigh at the calm tone in her voice, "I brought some books with me that I would like to study."
"Study?" Naruto whined. "Can't we do something else?"
Sasuke chuckled at his attitude. "I did say I would help you get smarter. Though, now I can see that will be a formidable task."
"Hey," he pouted.
She was just teasing, and he knew that. It was strange how much different an insult could sound between friends. Naruto liked this new dynamic. Though he was glad they were no longer fighting, he had to admit he liked the challenges in their arguments.
"Well," he continued, more determined, "what did you bring?"
"Not much," Sasuke shrugged, reaching into her bag. "I've got a book on basic fighter techniques, which I'm sure won't be of any help to you, and two on class structure of Konoha."
"Boooring. I would rather talk," he said.
"You will never learn anything with that attitude," she countered.
"Not true. I will learn plenty about you … " His voice trailed off at the awkward sentiment.
"And where will that get you," she returned softly.
"Don't know," he proclaimed cheerfully. "But, I want to. As you might have guessed, I'm not a big fan of over-thinking things. I want to know more about you, so I will."
"Why?" she whispered. She would let slide the 'thinking' insult that was rolling around on the tip of her tongue.
"Just do," he answered simply.
"What do you want to know?" she asked skeptically.
"Umm…. Well, what was your family like?"
This was getting uncomfortable. It had been fairly easy to tell Naruto her deepest secret in the heat of the moment, but becoming close to him still scared her. I suppose she thought that telling her secret would be the hardest part of getting to know Naruto, but saying the words was pretty easy. Dealing with the aftermath, that was the hard part. She was not ready.
She was not ready to have a friend.
The minutes dragged on as she tried to think of whether to try to deter Naruto from wondering about her family or whether she should just tell him and get it over with and if so how she would start and how much would she tell him and … her mind was swirling with uncertainty.
"I mean … well, you don't have to tell me if you don't want," Naruto stated, chuckling awkwardly at the long stretch of silence.
Well, she had a way out, if she wanted. Did she want it? "That's okay," she said, without thinking. Now what? She thought desperately.
"Well, I saw you had a guy in your picture that must be your brother or something, what was he like?" Naruto asked, trying to make her talk.
Sasuke glared. She had almost forgotten that Naruto had destroyed her most precious memory of her family. "Who are you referring to?" she started acidly, making Naruto frown in confusion. "I suppose you could show me, except you destroyed that picture."
Uh oh. Naruto thought. He had forgotten about that. "I'm … sorry," he apologized slowly, carefully, sincerely. The way she had acted after he found he ripped her picture had scared him more than anything had since the death of his parents.
Seeing the shine of true regret in his eyes, she decided to let the issue drop. "That was my brother, Itachi," she explained, with a soft smile on her face. "He was seven years older than me, so we never really played together or anything like that. But, he was always nice to me, when we were able to see each other.
"He was a fighter like my dad, whereas I was a healer like my mom. That was always kind of division in our house. My dad was a good enough person, but he always seemed to look down on healers," she paused to give Naruto a playful glare, "a trait many fighters seem to share."
Naruto grinned back at her, happy that they seemed to be back to their bizarre rivalry slash friendship. "Well, yeah, even you jumped ship and came over to our side," he mocked, giving an evil laugh at the end just for the fun of it.
"It was quite a sacrifice to give up a life full of intelligent conversations and sophisticated classes for this," she motioned casually to him, "But, I must endure it."
"I'm so sorry, princess," he said in a mock sophisticated voice. "I know this will be difficult for you, since you have never had to use your muscles much before."
"Yet, even still I was able to beat you," she smirked. No matter how good of an argument he could put up, she always had that little fact to ensure her victory.
"Only once," he yelled, frustrated. "I want a rematch!"
"It's only been about a week since I beat you, so you probably won't be able to beat me. But," she added sharply as he inhaled to shout something. "if you really want a rematch, we can fight again in a month's time. You should try to learn more about how I fight by then."
"Fine," he grumbled.
Sasuke giggled at the childish pout Naruto was giving her and soon enough, Naruto was laughing along with her.
"How did you learn to fight anyway?" Naruto asked after they had laughed themselves out. "Was it that weird Kakashi guy? He seemed to be a fighter and he said something about you being left in his care."
"Yes," she answered simply. "Kakashi is currently my guardian. He had worked as a bodyguard for my mother for many years, so I've known him since I was just a baby."
"Why did your mother need a bodyguard?"
"We were a wealthy and prominent family, basically meaning we had a lot of people who would like nothing better than to see us dead," she grunted at the irony. "I suppose their death made a lot of people happy. Right?"
Naruto was silent for a moment, which made Sasuke even sadder. Did he really believe her family deserved to die? Did she believe her family should die?
"No," Naruto finally said, stopping Sasuke from falling to far into her dark thoughts. "I mean, I suppose some people were happy to see a powerful family like yours die, but I don't think they should be. I think anyone who is happy at the death of another, especially the death of several others, is the real person who deserves to die.
"Argh," he groaned, "Why do we always seem to slip into depressing stuff?"
"I suppose we both have a lot to be depressed about," Sasuke said sarcastically, though with a bit of a smile.
"Well, that's depressing," Naruto said, laughing. "So, back to less gloomy stuff. When did you decide to start training with Kakashi?"
"My mother always thought everyone should know a little self-defense, so I have always been taught to fight. After my family died, I just started training harder and worked out ways to use all my knowledge as a healer in a battle."
"I guess that makes me feel a little better," Naruto said absently.
"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked, confused.
"It means you did not just suddenly get strong. You had to put in some effort, so that kind of makes me not feel so bad about you beating me because I know I put a lot of effort into my training."
"Hm," Sasuke grunted in understanding.
The conversation trailed off into less serious topics and the rest of the evening progressed peacefully. When it was time to lie down for the night, they both rolled out their beds next to each other without any more awkwardness.
"So," Sasuke whispered as they lied in bed, "all day we talked about my family. What about your family? You said your mom was a princess and your dad was a fighter. Do you have any siblings?"
"No," Naruto answered quietly, turning to stare at the stars. "Mom and dad talked about having another kid sometimes, but I guess they never had the chance.
"Sometimes I wonder," he continued, talking barely above a whisper, "what could have happened if my village had not been attacked that day. Would I have a little brother or a little sister by now? Would I …" he chuckled " …. Would I be married with any kids of my own?"
"I used to think like that a lot," Sasuke added, gently reaching out to hold Naruto's hand, "but, it never really made me feel any better. I suppose when tragedies like that happen all you can do is leave it in your childhood and always keep moving too fast to think about it."
Black is the color of tragedies past
Leaving all light in your childhood
Asking your love to become your last
Claiming that your life is misunderstood
Keeping you home always moving too fast
~*A*N*G*E*L*~