Nightmare

Of course Aunt Marie was concerned and tried to stop me when I got home, but I was eighteen, and I had a mind of my own. When I got something stuck in my head, it was pretty much too difficult to get it out of my head.

She was just relieved that Callum was coming with me to help with my 'insane' plan, which I still had every confidence in the world about it working out. I knew he would eventually come back; maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow, but…soon.

He would always come back when he was needed, I had enough dreams about him to know that myself.

I helped put Callum put the tent up, and then I sat on the edge of the tent, with my blanket wrapped around me, whilst Callum set up the sleeping bags busily. I didn't plan to sleep tonight though…I was quite happy watching the stars above, and wondering which one the Doctor was on.

"Are you cold?" Callum asked me with concern from behind me, but I simply shook my head in response.

"No."

"Well…have this." I felt him take my blanket off from around me, and wrap his coat around me instead. I tried to shrug it off, but of course he wouldn't let me, and I knew there was no point fighting him.

So I gave up with a sigh, and let him wrap it around me.

"Thank you." I said, trying to ignore the lingering smell of his coat that belonged to him, and was left lingering on his coat. I could smell it, so clearly, and it didn't really help with the fact that I had told myself I was over him so many times.

My head was starting to question it again.

"No problem," Callum replied without concern, even though now all he had on was a vest top and jeans. It wasn't my place to really say anything anymore though, because we weren't together anymore and that was how it was definitely going to stay.

I returned my eyes, my attention back to the stars, watching them bright up the dark night's sky like the prettiest picture you could see. It was a beautiful night tonight, with not one single cloud in the sky.

I imagined the Doctor flying to every star in the World, every planet, every year, and seeing the amazing things he had seen. That was always what I saw in my dreams about him anyway, and I couldn't deny a hint of jealousy within me.

Because the truth was, I wanted to be there too.

I wanted to be apart of the adventure, to be able to see the things he had, the adventures he had gone on before…but I wasn't allowed.

I sighed heavily, wishing the stars didn't seem so far away as they did now. Twelve years of waiting was such a long time compared to just ten minutes.

And I knew that after tonight, I probably couldn't ever get my hopes up like this, not like how I have after all this time. Callum would think I'm a liar, and I probably wouldn't even be allowed to mention the Doctor's name again…not without people thinking I'm insane that was.

The thought of never being able to mention his name again though, the adventures he had been on in my dreams, the amazing things he could do.

It was all real, I knew it was, despite it all being in my dreams. I just had that feeling that everything I had seen had happened; I had belief in the Doctor, possibly more than anyone else had faith in anyone before.

I didn't want to sleep at all that night, because I wanted to stay up and look for the Doctor, in-case I missed one single clue about the Doctor coming back, like I knew he would be, one day soon.

"Are you going to try and get a little bit of sleep at least?" Callum asked me, like I knew that he would. I shook my head, because there was no way that both of us could go to sleep at the same time, and miss something, a clue of some kind.

"No, because if both of us are asleep, who's going to look out for him coming back?"

"Okay," Callum sighed, playing about with his mobile in his hands, behind me. "I'll put my alarm on at twelve so I can definitely wake myself back up…and then I'll look for four hours whilst you get a bit of sleep too, then we'll swap back, alright?"

I didn't want to agree to it, but…it did sound fair, I had to admit. So with that thought, I forced myself to nod.

"Thank you," Callum sighed quietly from behind me, as though I was doing him a favour or something by agreeing to it. I heard him put his mobile back in his bag besides him, before getting comfy in his sleeping bag and going silent.

"Goodnight Charlie," Callum added, before turning round in his sleeping bag to try and get comfy, as he went to sleep. I smiled to myself, appreciating him being here for me, when nobody else would have been really.

"Goodnight Callum," I whispered back, before it all went silent and he slowly started to go to sleep behind me.

I stayed up for ages, trying to see or hear anything, but I had no clues of when the Doctor would turn up, if he was even going to turn up tonight that was. I had no clues of when he would appear, or if he was even going to ever appear.

And as soon as Callum woke up again, you could bet that he wanted me to sleep and it was so obvious that I wasn't going to be allowed a say in the matter really. I sighed heavily in response, but forced myself to go to sleep anyway after Callum promised to keep an eye out at all times for me whilst I slept.

And you can only imagine the dreams I had whilst I slept, dreaming of his arrival back in Spalding, 2010, coming back for me, to save the day, like how he did in every single dream and nightmare…

It was still pitch black when I opened my eyes, and I could hear something outside making a noise, like a cricket. I felt tired still, which told me that I hadn't slept for that long really, but I still sat up in my sleeping blanket, taking a look across at Callum's sleeping bag to see that he was still asleep.

I huffed sourly in response, because of course if he was asleep, he could have missed anything happening. I turned towards the entrance of the tent, about to take in the stars, the beauty of the light of them when something caught my eye.

I gasped, throwing the sleeping bag from my body and jumping up from the tent. I ran towards the blue box with pure determination, determined not to let him get away this time, never again.

"Doctor!" I Shouted, banging my fists against the box, and gasping in shock as I really felt the wooden box beneath my hands. Because it really meant that he was here, it really meant that he was actually here for real again.

"Doctor!" I shouted again, banging my fists even harder on the door, and feeling the wood beneath my hands for real. I knew he wouldn't recognize me, not compared to the little, five year old Girl he had met all them years ago but I didn't care.

Finally, the door clicked open, a sort of whirring sound coming out from the gap, making me gasp again in shock. I stepped back slightly, waiting to see his head pop round the open door or something, waiting to see his face for real again.

A few moments was nothing compared to twelve, whole years and I could wait a few more moments to see him again for definite.

But I also wanted see him again too; I was so excited that I could feel it in my very being. My heart was hammering in my chest, my breathe was gasping in anticipation, my eyes wide with excitement.

And then, it happened, like I knew it would.

His face popped around the door curiously, still as young looking as I remembered, still the same green eyes that I loved. His eyes were alight with curiosity, looking around at first before they fell on my face and looked me up and down curiously.

As soon as he found my face again, he smiled, almost as if he remembered something, remembered me almost.

"Ah…Charlie Stewart," he remembered happily, leaning on the side of the door, and folding his arms across his chest. I watched him curiously, finding this too difficult to believe, not if he actually remembered me.

"My…you have grown." He sighed, looking happy about that for some reason.

A crimson red flushed my cheeks like hot flames of red, flaring my face up with fire in response to his happiness, and trying to work out what to say or do now that he was actually right here, in front of me.

I mean god…I was so relieved that he was here; I felt at home practically, just being in his very company, and the more the seconds went along, the more I felt at home with him, at peace now that he was here.

But then…as my nightmare unfolded…he disappeared as soon as I looked down at the floor. I gasped in horror, forcing my eyes back up to see nothing in front of me anymore; no TARDIS, no Doctor, nothing.

I was alone, I had missed my chance, and he was never going to come back here again…

"NO!" I gasped out in a panic, jumping up from the sleeping bag in shock, suddenly wide awake for real now. My dark brown eyes were wide and watching everywhere outside the tent, trying to see if the TARDIS was there.

But there was no sign of anything, just the sparkling stars in the dark night's sky; beautiful, but…nevertheless not what I was hoping to see.

I sighed in defeat, looking back at Callum who I noticed hadn't said anything yet. And it was only when I looked to him, did I see that he was now asleep. I rolled my eyes in response, hoping that he hadn't missed anything, before I went back to staring at the entrance of the tent for some kind of a sign that the Doctor was around or was going to come back even.

But there was nothing, and I felt as though I had failed miserably.

I sighed heavily, wishing that there was some sort of sign, wishing that I could really believe myself about the Doctor coming back. I so badly wanted to know that the Doctor was coming back now.

Because I never wanted to lose faith in him, not if I could ever help it. It was all part of believing in something, wishing it to be true, and believing in it until you really had to stop yourself, before you hurt yourself so badly with each let down.

I didn't want that to happen to me. Not again.

I decided to sit outside on the bench and wait for an hour, to see if I could hear anything outside, rather than sitting here and doing nothing when I obviously wasn't going to get any sleep, not whilst Callum was too anyway.

I climbed quietly out of my sleeping bag, and went out into the cold with my blanket pulled around me because it was very chilly tonight. I sat myself on the bench, looking around the empty meadow and taking in the beauty of it with the help of the only streetlight, besides the bench.

There was nothing; no sounds, no sign of movement or even other signs of life-besides me and Callum, who was fast asleep in the tent-and I was clueless on how I was meant to go from here, if this all went wrong for me.

I sighed heavily, wishing I knew how to stop caring about someone, thinking about someone, missing them, and…loving them. I hadn't realized how to do that with Callum yet, yet alone…anyone else.

I always did this to myself; let myself get hurt, prepared myself for the fall, only to get even more hurt in the end. It happened every time to me, and maybe somebody was just trying to tell me something.

That I was meant to be a wanderer; alone and by myself.

Maybe something alike the Doctor, maybe that was why he wasn't going to come back…because he was just a lonely wanderer like me, meant to travel alone, visit a place once, and never come back to that place again.

I stayed there for ages, listening to every single noise, every single movement in the distance that could ever possibly be heard to the human ear, trying to focus on every little noise to see if it was him.

I waited on that cold bench, the blanket around me for what seemed like ages, and despite the temptation to sleep because I felt so sleepy, but I couldn't give into the temptation to sleep, not without seeing if he was going to come back.

I doubted that he was going to come back now, despite the fact that I wanted to believe that he would come back, everything pointed to the fact that he wasn't going to come back…that it was just too late for that to happen.

Life would go on without the Doctor, life could go on…but the monsters in my room would only get stronger. The little Girl would only get weaker, and I…well I would only surely get weaker too.

Forced to live a normal life…forced to live one that I didn't want to, to carry on having these dreams, to get weaker underneath the weight of these shadows, the horror they were about to bring.

It was coming.