Disclaimer: I own nothing as per! =( BUT I get to give the people what they want this way!

-=-=-=-=-=-=- -=-=-=-=-=-=-Chapter Two-=-=-=-=-=-=- -=-=-=-=-=-=-

Penelope had gotten to sleep, she didn't know how or when but she did. However, she woke up at a little before 5am and sleep didn't elude her again. Getting up, she knew the day was hers to do what she wanted so she got dressed and went to the diner that was now becoming hers and Derek's local, she knew it operated a 24 hour stop in and when she got there she sat in the corner, phone on table, coffee in hand, her emotions scattered everywhere.

It was now, in the solitary of a booth at the back of the diner that everything toppled her. The adrenaline she had kept high after the case to make sure that Derek was making it through okay was now draining from her system, Kevin's words hit her hard as her morale got lower and lower and she just kept her head down and tried her hardest to keep her tears in.

Every ounce of emotion that she had been driven into her core to never be seen again was now erupting in her and breaking her restraint. Emotions from cases gone were now attacking her, Battle plagued her again, a ghost she thought she'd truly moved on from, the Alaska case from a few weeks ago hit her final nerve and then Kevin finally took it all out of her.

"More coffee Pen?" The waitress, Marie, asked as she came over.

"Oh yeah, please." Penelope said and put her cup out without looking up.

"It's not worth crying over spilt milk ya know?"

"I wish it was only split milk."

"It'll get better." She told Penelope as she finally looked up, Marie just smiled. "You need a chat you know where to find me."

"Thanks." Penelope said quietly and looked back at that table top. She just remained sitting there as she every little detail she thought she'd moved on from by helping Derek hadn't really gone, it had just manifested in her, waiting for its time to knock her down.

She knew that Kevin was right, she'd just thrown away her life for Derek Morgan, a woman's man, a Casanova, a man that loved his girls thin and beautiful. Not like her, never like her. That cracked her heart even more, the butterfly stitches that had kept her heart together safely were now pulling away and she felt like she'd lost herself in the world for that moment.

Derek got up earlier that morning, edging past 6 he couldn't sleep any longer, he was amazed he got 4 hours and he had to smile, his best friend had saved him from himself again and he couldn't be more than grateful. She never asked for anything in return for the amount of times she'd run to him and helped him and he knew if she needed it he would help.

He could feel the emotions of the case, that he knew would be with him until new memories of a new case would replace them. Until then he'd bid his time with the peace he had in between.

He got dressed and headed out; he didn't want to eat at his on his own, so he headed to the diner that was near enough a midpoint between his and Penelope's places. He loved this place, he had memories with Pen from here but today, like many before, he was coming here alone because Penelope would be wrapped up in bed with her boyfriend and so she should be. She should be wrapped up in the arms of her lover, safe and protected.

He got there and sat in one of the stalls, his mind was elsewhere, not on the few punters already getting an early breakfast before work. Marie came over and smiled at him. "Normal please."

"I'll bring it over."

"I'll stick here Marie." He said with a smile, Marie smiled sadly and then pointed with her head to the booths at the back as she poured him a cup of coffee. Penelope was sat in the booth, shaded from the blind that was still down, her right hand shielding her from anyone that looked up, her posture worn down and broken.

"She's been here for nearly an hour, hasn't stopped crying since."

"Bring us over some chocolate chip pancakes in about 20 min kay?"

"Got it Derek, just get over there. She's miserable, it's not a good sight."

Derek smiled some and his heart clenched in his chest. "I'm on it." Then like that, she watched slip down from the stall and go over to the booth. "Well if it isn't my sexy mama out and about before the clock strikes 7am... your beauty sleep's gonna lose its routine." He teased as he slipped down onto the seat opposite her.

He could see her wipe her cheeks and look up, she smiled at him somewhat shortened, it was a facade. "Couldn't sleep very well." She feigned and he leant forward and grabbed her hands. The feel of his touch shattered a bit more, this would be the most she'd ever get and again Kevin's words beat at her over and over again.

"What's wrong baby girl? And don't tell me it's nothing because your eyes tell me a whole different story." He watched her breathe out lengthily. "Well..."

"Where do I start?"

"Beginning's always a good place baby." He told her and she couldn't help but let a little laugh out.

"Everything's just attacking me at the moment and I don't have the energy to keep up the strong act."

"No one asked you too."

"I asked me too." She confessed and looked down, Derek squeezed her hand and she looked back up.

"Keep looking at me and tell me what's got you in tears."

"I guess I bottle everything and last night, before I came to you, I had an argument with Kevin, then when I got back." She saw the guilt scrawl across Derek's features. "It's the same old chestnut every single time." She shrugged; she'd never regret choosing family over a man. "I don't have to worry anymore I guess."

Derek's heart leapt at that little sentence. "He dumped you."

"Yes, no, I don't know." Derek felt devastated by that, he saw a chance but it might be crushed the moment he got it. "He took some of his things and left me alone and things have only hit me." She took her hands back and run them over her head. "I don't want to be in a never ending argument to get happy."

"Then you don't have to be. Be with someone that's going to keep you happy."

"Not gonna happen Hot Stuff." She said and looked up at him. "And today I can't shake images from the cases."

"One we've just done."

"More than that. I guess I put on this whole show to make sure everyone's okay and I lose myself in amongst it all." Again she could read the guilt. "Don't blame yourself handsome, I choose to do it. It just hasn't helped."

"I hate you being so sad."

"It'll pass."

"When you've talked it out." He said and took her hands again. "So talk it out."

"I don't know how to." She confessed, she didn't want to tell him because the biggest affecting moments of her professional career involved him. "It'll change things."

"Try me."

She sighed and felt nervous. "When Battle shot me I remember being so scared at how close I was to death and how in a heartbeat I could just leave this world." She said and Derek felt a surge of emotion over take him. "I'm scared of death and each and every case instils that in me, it hardens that fact. I've come so close to losing you so many times and all without you knowing things I keep secret and in Alaska after I tried to help that man I've been putting the strain on my relationship with Kevin." She looked up and could see him frozen, he didn't say a thing, he looked, if anything, ready to bolt and she could feel the tears building in her throat. "I told you this was wrong."

Derek watched as one moment she was there and the next she was up and leaving, he followed her, telling Marie he'd be back. "Penelope." He called out. "Pump those breaks a moment woman."

He followed her as she watched towards Ester, berating herself. "I've said too much."

"You get in that car and I'll stop talking to you." He knew that'd put the fear of Christ up her because he knew if she was like him the thought of not having the other speak to them was scary. "Tell me it all."

"I've thrown my life away time after time for a man that'll never love me the way I love him. That's how Kevin gave it to me, I drop my life for him and all because I love him and he never so much as makes a pass at me." Derek stood there, his heart pounding at her admittance. "See! It changes it. It changes us." She said a little too loud because she knew he understood who she was talking about.

Derek didn't hesitate as she turned back to pull her car door open, he pulled her close to her body and kissed her hard, making it evident what he wanted, telling her completely she wasn't wrong, that she wasn't giving up life for a man that would never love her.

"I'll always love you." He told her and Penelope stared up at him, completely dazed at everything, she was still on the come down from the dizzying explosion that had erupted in her life. "Now come on Silly Girl, we gotta talk and eat pancakes." He told her and shut her car door, locked it and then took her back into the diner and back to the booth they were sat at.

A.N: Thanks for all the reviews! Means a lot! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Only one more after this!