A/N SO NO I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT…SM BRILLIANT ASS DOES! NOR DO I OWN ANY OF THE MUSIC! SO YOU GOT A LITTLE LEMON TWIST IN THE LAST CHAPTER, WILL THIS ONE HAVE MORE? READ TO FIND OUT!
PLAYLIST:
DIFFERENCES – GINUWINE
PERFECT- SIMPLE PLAN
HALO- BEYONCE
SMASH INTO YOU – BEYONCE
DON'T WANT TO MISS A THING- AEROSMITH
BPOV
I stood in the dressing room chewing my lip as I pulled the jeans on. They looked great. They made my ass look amazing, but I was worried about what Edward would say. I opened the door and peeked out slowly. His head was in his head his hair falling over his hands. He was deep in thought about something, and I was worried. I walked over to him and placed my hand gently on his shoulder and whispered "Edward." His head shot up and his eyes were deep with worry. I never saw him look like that and it made my heart sink. What was going on with this sweet angel that he was hiding from me? He saw the expression on my face and held my hand and kissed it softly.
"Please don't worry angel." He whispered in my palm.
I kneeled down and felt like I was about to break down, right in front of him. "How can you expect me not to worry Edward? You have nothing but sweet to me. Now something is eating you. I can see it. Please tell me what's wrong?"
EPOV
I looked up on her face, her eyes was swelling with the tears I knew she wouldn't let fall in public. She was begging for me to tell her the thing only my Carlisle knew. Not even Emmett and Alice knew this. It was the thing that kept me awake at night, the thing that brought music together. "Let me pay for the clothes and then I will tell you, okay?" I asked she nodded and stood kissing my forehead. She disappeared into the dressing room and I stood up. My heart was beating 10 miles per hour. I knew I trusted her but was I really about to tell her this? She came out and squeezed my hand. I smiled down at her. She was so delicate herself, so crushed but here she was comforting me. That had been my job since I met her. Her heart was crushed but not her spirit. I saw that now once her walls came down she had an amazing spirit she needed to share that with the world. We walked to the cash register and paid for her items and then walked to the car in silence. A million things were running to my head, how was I going to tell her this? How would she look at me? Will it be any different to the love that shone in her eyes now? I prayed that it wouldn't be I really didn't want to lose her. I opened her car door and she slid in with a quiet thank you and I walked around to the other side and started the car. I heard her exhale as we took off.
"Edward whatever it is, it won't make me love you any less. I fell to hard anyway."
My mouth dropped open. Did she just say that she loved me? I shook my head as we came to red a light and leaned over kissed her temple whispering in her ear. "I love you too." She blushed bright pink for a second and turned and kissed me gently.
She stroked my cheek gently, and laughed lightly. "Whoever though I would be saying those words to Edward fricking Cullen."
She said I chuckled and started to drive again. I pulled up in front of the forest and she looked at me. "I want to show you something." I said quietly. She just nodded and followed me out of the car through the forest. I held her hand walking through the forest helping her over some parts that she would fall over. I could tell she wasn't a nature girl I didn't want her to twist her ankle. I led her into a meadow and she gasped.
"Edward its beautiful here." She said walking carefully in.
"I found this place when I was little" I said quietly sitting down behind her, She turned to me and walked back over to me sitting next to me holding my head down. I didn't let me eyes meet hers.
I cleared my throat before starting again. "I ran away when I was 7 and stumbled upon it. Since then I would come here and think." I said keeping my eyes on the grass twirling a piece in my hand.
"Why did you run away?' She asked softly watching my face carefully.
This was the hard part. I took a deep breath the tears already forming in my eyes.
"Carlisle isn't my real dad. He adopted me when I was nine." I said holding back the tears as much as I could. "My real dad is in jail." I said barely above a whisper. She reached out and grabbed my hand.
"Oh Edward." She said squeezing my hand gently.
"He used to rape me every night for two years starting when I was seven." I said letting the tears flow freely now.
BPOV
Raped? My mind was stuck on that word and he was crying my angel had some demons. I threw my arms around his neck crying in his shoulder. He buried his face in my neck holding me tight crying hard. I rubbed his back soothingly, I didn't want him to hurt over this anymore but I couldn't even fathom what he was going through.
"I passed out one day in school and they took me to the hospital and that's when they found out. Carlisle was my doctor and when they said they were going to put me in the system he adopted me. For the longest time I couldn't talk about it but Carlisle noticed that I wrote songs so he brought me a bass and the love for music grew then. Just like you it was my escape. From the nightmares the blackouts from everything. I owe Carlisle everything for saving me." He said
I took his face in my hands wiping his tears. "He did that because he loves you. I am sure he only wants for your happiness baby. You owe yourself that, no one else." I said staring straight into his green eyes.
He smiled a bit and shifted pulling my on his lap resting his head over my heart his arms tight around my waist. I ran my fingers through his hair. "I knew I could trust you." He whispered closing his eyes.
I kissed the top of his head and smiled."You can trust me with everything baby." I said rubbing his back. He placed a soft kiss over my heart. "I know baby." I don't know how long we sat there like that but I felt the rain started to fall and the thunder cracked and I jumped. Stupid rainy ass Forks. I heard a chuckle come from Edward, and he lifted his head. "Let's get home love. It's getting dark." He said. I climbed out of his lap and held my hand out for his. He grabbed it and held me close for a second before we walked to the car. I shook my hair out and got into the car. He laughed and got into the driver's side. S many thoughts were running through my head. He had those demons to deal with everyday. The darkness and memories the pain that each one of them brought. I don't know how he will get through them, but I knew I would be by his side every moment he needed me. I reached over and squeezed his hand as he drove back toward the house.
When we pulled up my heart dropped. My dad's police cruiser was in front of the house. Edwards jaw clenched and I started breathing heavily. I felt the panic attack coming on and I couldn't stop it I didn't have my guitar. Before I could register what was happening Edward was pulling me out the car thrusting Sparky in my hand plugging it in to an amp "Sing it" He ordered I strummed and took a deep breath before belting out.
Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
I heard the drums come in and Edward start to play the bass but I kept going singing with all I have:
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I saw Carlisle Alice and Charlie come out as we played how I felt I played like never before my adrenaline rushing as I finally let out what I felt after all these years.
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
I stood there with a proud look upon my face as my dad took in the scene before him. Carlisle crossed his arms waiting as Charlie face went to purple. "Get your shit and get in the car now!" He yelled.
"No! I am an adult right? I don't need you anymore. Stop acting like you care" I said.
His shoulders scared and he walked up to me and slapped me across the face making me fall to the floor. My hair covered my face as I cried into the cold wet ground beneath me. The rain soaking me. The tears falling on to the ground making no impact as the rain poured harder lighting and thunder cracking around us. The storm was here.
CHAPTER NOTES: BIG SHOUT OUT TO NIKKI FOR GETTING ME PASSED MY BLOCK YOU RICK NC! THANKS ESSIE! YOU'RE REVIEWS ROCK!