The Twisted Doug Funny Fan Fiction Trilogy
Episode II
Doug picked his body up off the street. After Roger had left with his buddies, he just lied there thinking, "After all this time, I'm gay... It's come to this. I enjoyed that." His ass was bleeding and it hurt like hell, but the pain somehow felt... good. He pulled his pants up and looked around. He wasn't sure what to do, and then it came to him. He had to go home and write it in his journal. He ran as best he could; he had to limp due to the throbbing pain in his rectum.
He kicked his door open, limped up the stairs, and was then confronted by Judy.
"So Doug, How was the game," she said, filled with apathy.
"Uhh, it was okay. We lost, but I need to go write in my journal."
Judy sighed as he began to limp off, and then a sly smile spread across her face. "Freshman beating, I presume," she inquired with a humorous smirk.
"Uhh, yeah... It... really hurt." He opened his door, walked inside uncomfortably, and slammed it shut.
Judy stared at Doug's closed door for a moment before returning to her own bedroom. She wondered when Skeeter would get there. She had already talked to him on AOL:
...
HonkHonkMan459: Hey, Judy HONK! HONK!
XDramaXGirlX: hey, babe! how r u? u didt get a frosh beat did u?
HonkHonkMan459: NO BUT DOUG DID ROGER RAPED HIS ASSHOLE AND DOUGS BUTT HAS HAIR ON IT I HAVE PICTURES HONK HONK
HonkHonkMan459 wants to Direct Connect
HonkHonkMan459 is Directly Connected
XDramaXGirlX: WTF I DOnt WAANNA SEE THAT OLOL
HonkHonkMan459: []
XDramaXGirlX: OMG
HonkHonkMan459: yeah roger wants patti i think he wants to kill doug honk honk
XDramaXGirlX: really cum over baby
HonkHonkMan459: k
...
So Skeeter was on his way over. She would give him a blowjob like she had a hundred times before, and then they would go in Porkchop's doghouse and smoke. They had gotten Porkchop high so many times. She laughed to herself remembering the time they gave him a hit of acid. It had permanently fucked him up, but Doug was in total denial. He was always such a daft, oblivious bastard. He never knew about her relationship with his best friend.
The thoughts left her mind as she made her way to the phone. Roger's cell was on Doug's speed dial. They had frequently bought bud from him, so they kept his number around.
"Roger, this is Judy. Wanna trade He-man trading cards."
"Ehhh... is Funny there?"
"Yeah, he ran up to his room. He seemed a little weird. Didn't say anything to anyone."
Roger laughed. "Really, yeah, I'll be over. Typical half deck?"
"Yeah"
"Alright, I'll sell it to you for $10."
"WHAT! Wow, thanks Roger."
"Well, I'll be wanting a blowjob too."
Judy sighed. "Alright."
Roger told the guys to wait as he stepped out of the truck and walked up to the door. He didn't even have time to knock before Judy opened the door. "Hey," she said in an alluring, sensual manner. Roger remembered when he was younger what a bitch she was. She was going to get her dues. She led him up to the bedroom, having done this many times before; no words needed to be exchanged. Roger kept an eye out for Doug, but he didn't see him. They walked into Judy's room.
"How was it," Judy asked as the door shut. "Was he good?"
Roger looked a bit stunned. "How'd ya know?"
Judy threw her sun glasses off and tossed them on the bed. "Don't worry about it, just get those pants off." Roger smiled, and began to unzip. At that moment, a ladder slammed onto the open window from the outside. "SKEETER," Judy Exclaimed. "Roger, get in the closet, fast." Roger did as he was told, biding his time.
"Dear Journal,
I just came to the conclusion that I, Doug Funny, am a homosexual. It's weird; I never thought about it. I always felt special towards Skeeter. He's been my best friend for years, and I never concidered the love I had for him as a friend could be more than I thought. Patti, I don't know about Patti anymore. I've stopped feeling for her. I don't know."
Doug stopped writing for a moment and glanced over at Porkchop who was poking his head out from under the bed. He glanced around nervously, and then ran back under the bed, as if something was drifting about in the room, liable to attack him. He did this several times. Doug continued.
"Roger raped me. I don't feel for Roger, but the sex was great. I don't think I could ever feel this way with a woman. The one I really want is Skeeter. I know at last and there's nothing to hide anymore."
Doug's mind wandered as he doodled a picture of Quailman marching in a gay pride parade. In the picture, A gaybasher attempts to strike him, but Quailman casually rips his pants off as though they were breakaways. Other comic panels show him tying the man's hands up with his headband, strapping his underwear on his face, and buttfucking him from behind with a massive quail cock. QUAAIIIIILLLL-MAAAAAANNN.
Skeeter hopped in through the window. "Heey, cutie. You're looking hot. Doug's not here is he?"
"Nah, he hasn't made it back."
"Good, then lets get to it."
Skeeter sat on the bed and unstrapped his pants. Judy went down on it in seconds, taking his big blue cock all the way back into her mouth. She was great; she always had been. She knew how to keep him right at his peak without making him explode, and she could keep him there for so long. His relationship with Judy had been odd. They never let Doug know. They figured he would be a bit freaked out, but it was just casual. Dick suckings, weed smoking, and an occasional fuck. That was it. Skeeter moaned loudly. "Oh, fuck yeah, baby... Honk honk... Suck that shit. Ho-hoonnnk."
Doug had heard Skeeter's moans when he stepped outside to go to the bathroom, to shower off the sex. He had never suspected the two of them, his best friend, the love of his life, and his sister. He couldn't believe he was so stupid. The evidence had always been there, but he refused to see it. Now he had his father's handgun. He didn't know much about guns, but he knew something had to be done. Skeeter was his. He loved Skeeter. He always had; he just didn't know it. He threw Judy's door open and screamed. "AAIIIIYYY-AAAHHHHHH."
Porkchop stared at Doug from under his bed. That bastard. He was always getting in the way of things. He wanted Patti, and there Doug was fucking Patti like a rabbit on Easter Morning. They were in a large circle of eggs about 3/4ths their size. Patti moaned. Doug grunted. Porkchop growled. There were always large, homosexual unicorns guarding Doug when he fucked Patti purposely in front of him to make him suffer though the torment. Doug knew that he longed for Patti and desired to punish him severely by forcing him to watch. When the unicorns would start to fuck, Porkchop would go in for the kill, but they always turned around and began breathing fire out of their nostrils, defending Doug. That's when Porkchop ran back under the bed. He would have Doug one day. The unicorns would let their guard down. He knew it.
Roger watched though the slits from inside the closet. That bastard, Skeeter. Roger had shit to do. He thought it would be a quick blowjob, a sale, and then he could be on to get Patti. This would totally ruin everything. He had planned on killing Skeeter anyways; why not now. Then he could have Judy where he had always wanted her. Right in the back.
Roger threw the door to the side as he lifted his pistol up in the air. At the same time, there was Doug through the hallway door. Judy's head blew off. "SKEETER IS MINE, FILTHY SKANK," Doug yelled. Blood splattered all over Skeeter's face. A chunk of his cock came right off as Judy's teeth clamped down before her head went into chunks. Immediately, both guns were pointed at their opposites. Roger and Doug, the epic and ultimate face off begins in the final chapter of The Doug Funny Fan Fiction Trilogy.