Chapter 7

"You know, we could plant some dark artefacts and the likes that would be related to Voldemort worship in his house." Potter is fucking brilliant! "Or, or, we could steal his wand and leave it in Azkaban for someone to find!" Never fucking mind.

"You had to keep going didn't you? Couldn't just leave it to Dark Lord worshiping? As an Auror you should know that you can't take a wand into Azkaban in the first place." Draco had been offered a job in the Azkaban prison once, only the best of the best were, only those who knew Legilimency, Occlumency, and could perform complex wandless magic. Wandless magic was damn important, and only the best of the best could do it, and damn Granger for being offered the job as well. Of course they both declined because of their son.

"Hey mate, no need to be rude about it, it's not like you were coming up with ideas," said Blaise. Screw you Blaise.

"Well, all I wanted was to know who was there for the friggin meeting," Draco sneered, "But I don't know anything on that matter."

"Oh shit!" Harry blushed, "Man, I've had this in my pants forever it seems like it, I think Pansy even washed them, but you know she makes me keep the pocket protecting charm on them since I always leave pens and... other things in them." Harry passed Draco a small folded piece of paper. "You know how she is with laundry, bloody bitchy about it."

"That was a week ago!" Do you have to suck at life? "I asked a wee– holy shit it's like nothing happened to it."

"She may be a bitch about laundry but she's damn good at it."

"Kingsley Shacklebolt, Percy Weasley – that ass, Broderick Bode, Amelia Susan Bones, take a laugh at this one, Albert Runcorn. John Dawlish, and oh my who do we have here?"

"Oh who is it Draco? Enough with the suspense," said Blaise and he squeaked in his seat with fake anticipation.

"Mike Harris."

"No fucking way," Blaise was shocked, maybe the suspense was necessary after all. "Harry, why do you look so shocked? Didn't you read it?"

"No, I intended to give it straight to Draco, but I forgot about Pansy's appointment which she expected me to go with her, and it's not like I could tell her 'sorry babe, 2 seconds,' that woman doesn't know what 2 seconds is. I can't wait for this kid to be born."

Knock, tap-tap, knock.

"Maybe it would be wise to shut the door when you're having a meeting, you wouldn't want the Chizpurfle's to over hear you, bad omen you know. And you wouldn't want Pansy to find out that you're complaining, she has friends here you know." Oh Luna, she was almost like the comic relief of their lives.

"Well Mrs. Nott, it's always a pleasure," Draco said with all sincerity.

"Harry, I got that background check for you," she looked at Draco, "I won't tell Hermione because when I read this I found something worth looking farther into. I did look into some things already, I left note here and there, however I couldn't find anything about his parents, or anything about his birth."

"Thank you Luna," Harry looked proud of himself, a little too proud for someone who didn't do anything. "I knew we could count on you."

"Next time Potter, when you drag another person in on this, let me know ahead of time," fucker, "I'm glad however that you picked someone trustworthy."

Luna left after saying some more about Chizpurfle's, so then Harry, Blaise and Draco got down to business. After sometime they decided that Luna truly looked through everything, and not a speck was mentioned about when Mike was born, where he was born, or who he was born to.

One more week, one more fucking week and she'd be married. No more children for him, but of course she could whore herself out and have as many as she wanted. Why did the family enchantment have to choose her? Why couldn't the bloody enchantment latch onto her as well? Then she wouldn't be getting married to some fuckhead none of them knew a thing about. But no, by making a child with her his soul fused with another, but because it was not a ceremonial soul give unto soul experience such as is in the marriage law, her soul did not bind onto his. Thus she was free to have a life without him. Stupid magic.

To make matters worse the only thing they were finally able to dig up on Harris was the fact that he had a pure-blood father who was deceased, and the mother, a muggleborn died while giving birth. Obviously it was all false information planted in the ministry so that he could get his clean marriage with Hermione. Draco honestly couldn't figure it out.

Where was Mike going with this?

Why would he want to hide everything about himself?

"Want to know what I was thinking?"

"No!" they all shouted in unison at Ron. However Ron ignored them.

"Maybe his parents were really killed by Death Eaters of something."

By the Great Merlin's Beard maybe this idiot got something, but who was Draco kidding, Ron did not know a thing.

"Ronald, you truly are stupid," said Harry. "However, do you have a Jack?"

"Who's stupid idea was it to play Go Fish on card night? We've got scheming to do." Draco said as they laid down their card in a manner that only meant business.

"Blaise you cheating bastard you had a five!" squealed Ron.

"Ron!"

"Ok, ok, sorry." Ron pondered. "I have another idea though, and it's a little out there. But have you guys noticed that Mike never watching Quidditch with us, and he bitches when we talk about it, like he hates it more than Hermione does?" Draco muttered a comment sounding like 'a match made in heaven.' The other boys nodded. "Well just yesterday they cancelled the Quidditch World Cup."

"Heaven forbid Weasley, that you think you're going somewhere with this."

"Shove a cock in it Malfoy. As I was saying, with all the best Quidditch stars showing up dead at the Quidditch stadiums they had too. No witnesses or anything. Maybe Mike's the killer."

They stared at Ron for sometime as if actually contemplating that is could be a real probability before they burst out into laughter.

Harry was the first to speak, with tears running down his face, "Are you fucking kidding?"

Blaise couldn't hold it anymore, he lost all breath when Harry spoke and looked ready to faint while trying to wheeze in air. Ron's face soon became priceless by turning the Griffindor red.

After all laughing had calmed down, along with a face turning to its natural colour Draco spoke. "Well I'd love to chat about what serial killer Mike could be, really I would, but it's late. I should tuck my son in before I never see him again."

Life had truly changed since Hogwarts. Who knows where they could have been if certain things hadn't changed. Merlin, he could have married Pansy! Hermione would have undoubtedly married Ron, Harry to the She-Ron, Blaise married how many time, however Draco couldn't picture it seriously, because somehow in the end he always sees himself with her. With the great Granger, and by the wizards of Merlin he would have her.

"Is he asleep?"

Draco nodded.

"You know, you should really read to him in his bed, less hassle."

"It wouldn't be near as much fun," Draco looked from his son to her, "Hermione."

"I'll put him in bed; Luna's been telling me that you've had a lot of work recently, so maybe you should get going now." Her voice was low as not to wake up their son.

He only nodded and waited till she was up the stairs before getting his jacket.

"Look Malfoy, I know what you're doing."

Grunt.

"Stay away from Hermione and my son, you got that."

Your son? Fuck no buddy.

Mike had no time to prepare for the fist that connected with his jaw. All became hell...

Until Hermione came back downstairs.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Nothing happened. "Draco get the hell off him!" She manage to grab a flying arm and pulled him away. "Now what the fuck were you two doing?"

"Swearing Granger? That's very unbecoming for a lady."

"Malfoy, my fiancé has a split lip and his face will be bruised come tomorrow, now why the hell did you do that?"

"Why on earth do you think that I started it?"

"Fucking bastard hit me first." Mike spat.

"He fucking called Cal his son Granger. Calcifer is my son, not some fucking piece of shits."

She was speechless.

Upon leaving, there was a scheme that screamed at him. With thinking it up within moments there was only one thing to do. Go through with it. She had it coming.

Authors Note: Now for me to say little thank you's: (Reviews ch. 1-6)

Undershadows: I'm very glad you like it, I was worried... hope you're still reading.
mlc872: I happen to love loopholes, so dream on if you think you can guess whats going to happen next 3
sabotageme: You've been with me for awhile now, and I can't tell whether you're sarcastic or not with the first review. However hopefully I somewhat got down that only Draco is cursed by this and not Hermione, a soul union would be needed for that.
bookwormatcams: Personly, I know where I want to go with this story, but even I don't know what's coming next.
tfobmv18: I'm pleased you think this is good. As for Mike, I really don't know if he's a good guy or not yet.
Lady Juice: After I've been living on my own for a month I'm only starting to get a life, so randomly new chapters will come in on the average of everything three days, could be sooner.
margaritama: I've been thinking of doing that, but I don't know how I could fit it in, I think too many emotions would be involved... with Draco being her first you know.
fidens: I try to be funny.
Li0n3ss: I worry about my writing a lot, so thank you.

On a side note, I first thought of calling this story Once Upon A Time... that was cheesy.

Please Enjoy.