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Two Can Play at This Game:
Chapter 2: The Manner Game!
That night, an optimistic Squalo ended the call with the Vongola Rain Guardian. Announcing his stay in their Japanese Base, the Shark also offered the possibility that they would be able to train together this time around; an invitation which Yamamoto was quite enthusiastic to accept.
"Dino, get off your lazy ass and let's go out for dinner!" Squalo glanced at his companion who had been made to share this guest bedroom with him.
"I don't want to." whined the blonde, lying on his back with his feet still touching the floor. Dino let out a small sigh, closing his eyes and thinking about how this would affect Kyoya.
Amazed that the cheerful idiot refused to go outside, Squalo literally dragged the young boss to his feet and forced him to change into clean clothes. When the commotions died down, the two decently dressed men walked down the hall, heading to downtown Namimori.
Both of them never thought that Xanxus might be staying in the guestroom across from Tsuna's bedroom, such close proximity. At seven pm, they left the estate, looking for a nice restaurant.
On the streets of Namimori, Dino kept either glancing over his shoulders as if looking out for militant guerillas or inspecting the sewage system to judge its usefulness in his vital escape plan from an unexpected ambush. For God's sake, we're the Mafia and the Mafia assassin. Stop being so paranoid, stupid blonde!
Getting fed up with Dino's obsessive behaviors, Squalo marched into an expensive-looking sushi place, pulling the Cavallone's frightened body inside.
"You need to get some backbones, Dino! I promised your famiglia you'll be safe with me, didn't I?" Squalo sat down at one of the booths the waitress showed them. Folding his legs on the cushion, Dino looked miserably at his 'protector'. I'll need more than you to save me from Kyoya and Xanxus.
"Why picked the Vongola Japanese Base? Kyoya's men are everywhere; he'll hear of it in no time." Dino muttered in regret, gluing his gaze to the low table between them.
"Because the brats will serve as witnesses for our escapades. That way, the asshole boss will have more reasons to move his butts and do something appropriate. And, do act like my lover, not my tormented slave, you love-sick dog!" Squalo announced his reasoning confidently, sipping the steamy bowl of miso soup.
Without the energy to contradict the sword emperor's statements, Dino decided to raise his face from its downward position to face Squalo directly.
Suddenly, bits of tofu, scallions, miso paste and spits splashed out in front of him, splattering on the empty table in all directions. Was that supposed to be my smelly awakening, Squalo? Across from him, the silver-haired man was coughing profusely. Reaching for his napkin, Dino swiftly cleaned his area and leaned on the tabletop to help his friend.
Unfortunately for him, his back was facing the restaurant's main entrance, so he was not privileged to the sight that Squalo caught. Instead, his impending doom reached his ears when the nice waitress announced the restaurant's esteemed patrons.
"Hibari-san and honorable guest! Welcome, please come this way with me!" The young woman proclaimed Dino's death sentence with such delight.
Immediately, the Italian boss snapped his head sideway and saw not only his Kyoya, but also Xanxus of the Varia walking side-by-side toward the booth across from them. Dino's heart stopped beating. Squalo, recovered from his coughing fit, stared in wonder with his lower jaw slacking.
Following Hibari's lead, Xanxus leisurely took off his shoes before stepping on the tatami floor and sitting cross-legged on the designated zabuton (Japanese-style sitting cushion).
When Squalo and Dino recovered from their shock, the spying on their respective love interest commenced. Right after one little detail.
"Suki-san, your strongest sake, please! And, don't stop refilling!" It seemed that he and Dino shared the same idea.
Every chance they got, the pair would stare at the odd couple from impossible corners of their eyes. If this went on for the whole night, their eyeballs would probably be stuck that way. However, that was a small price for witnessing Hibari and Xanxus behaving as civilized human beings in each other's company.
Squalo drained his sake cup when Hibari showed Xanxus what to order. Reaching over, the skylark offered his opinions on each sushi/ sashimi set. Xanxus attentively listened to his dining companion with a small smirk on his face. What the hell! You never listen to me before, Xanxus…gr…gr…
Dino dropped a piece of sushi he was holding precariously near his opened mouth the moment Xanxus brushed his fingers against Kyoya's hand. Looking into the Cloud's eyes, the Varia leader pointed at an item on Hibari's menu and not so accidentally caressed his cool skin. Overlooking the goosebumps they sported, the determined pair successfully made this touch appear affectionate enough for the others' watchful eyes.
The once casual conversation at the blond Italian's table turned into restrained animalistic growls and dreadful moans while Xanxus and Hibari seemed perfectly content in their low chattering voices.
Dino unintentional entered a drinking game with himself whenever his Kyoya performed an intimate act for Xanxus. All dining and polite pretenses were dropped as the blonde and silver-head focused their gaze directly on the deadly pair.
Squalo kept his own stock of sake bottles to his right while Dino assembled his army of sake-filled cups upfront. The burning liquid they insisted on pouring down their throat did nothing to ease their jealous rage; but it certainly helped numbing the pain.
The skylark politely put a piece of tuna sushi on Xanxus' plate. Dino swallowed five drinks, consecutively. I spent years to get that treatment from you, Kyoya. I wanna weep right now, if not for Squalo's stupid game…
Xanxus carefully poured sake into Hibari's empty cup. As they raised their cups in cheers, Squalo drained a whole bottle of wine as if it was water. What the fuck?! Xanxus, you asshole, you've never done anything like that for me!!!
And, the crowning moment of the night, Xanxus took out his wallet and paid for the bill with a generous tip, no fussing or cursing ensued. Dino's head hit their sake-soaked table with a loud thud, a sign of defeat as clear as a white flag. Squalo was doing his best to force the boiling bile in his throat back to where it belonged with little success.
When the sadistic pair walked out of the restaurant, the alcohol these two hapless souls consumed kicked in with its relentless brutality. Dino and Squalo were beyond drunk. Countless empty bottles and cups scattered on the smooth wooden surface and the matted floor.
"It's closing time, sirs. Here's your bill."
Dragging the blonde to his feet, Squalo searched for the boss' money and put down however much his spinning head could count. A very happy waitress bid them goodnight as two depressed and drunken men wandered out of the sushi shop, wondering exactly how to get back to the Vongola Base.
The next morning, Squalo woke up with a pounding headache and a body feeling like it had been wrecked by Bel's knives and Levi's lightning multiple times. His clothes were soaked with water, hopefully. Getting up on trembling knees, the sword emperor realized that they had spent the night on the front lawn of the Vongola estate. First orders of business, as Squalo left the blond boss behind and drudged toward the mansion, were throwing up and relieving his bladder.
After regaining his mental faculty, Squalo decided to enlist another player for his team. On steady feet, the sword emperor walked toward Yamamoto's room and asked him to spar in the nearby forest.
The Japanese swordsman agreed enthusiastically since there had not been much action or business in these summer months. Unknown to both eager parties, an irritated Gokudera had woken up and heard of their plan. Being left behind, the genius was sulking on Takeshi's bed, questioning Squalo's suspicious request.
On the other side, Hibari was looking down from the full-length window of his room, gazing at one sleeping form of Dino Cavallone atop wet grass.
"Tetsu, tell the subordinates to bring the Bronco to his bedroom. He's on the front lawn." Hibari commanded into his phone before hanging up.
A few minutes later, the skylark turned away from the window and started on his day after Dino was carried inside the Vongola villa.
On his way to the main hall, Hibari encountered an angry Gokudera who impressively was separated from his joined-at-the-mouth twin, Yamamoto. Another possible participant for my game!
"Gokudera Hayato, spar with me today!" the plotting Cloud offered.
The Storm looked up from his sullen pose, quirked an eyebrow, but quickly acquiesced.
In the meantime, in their own corner of the forest, Squalo managed to explain to Yamamoto the gist of his complicated plan.
"So, it's a game you're playing with Xanxus and Dino. Sounds fun! Count me in when you need me, ha ha…" the Rain guardian summed up his simplistic understanding of the situation.
Ok, maybe my explanation did not get through to the brat's thick skull, but I got what I needed. Phew…Squalo nodded his head, accepting this small victory.
In another corner, Hibari dodged the numerous dynamites thrown his way and disarmed the aggravated Storm temporarily. When the explosions died down, they could hear the clashing of steel swords, the cheerful laughter of one natural-born hitman and the loud vocalization of Superbi Squalo.
"It seems your partner is having fun with the Italian Shark, herbivore." taunted the skylark.
"It's none of your goddamn business!" The Vongola's right-hand man could barely hide his frustration.
"He left you behind for the Shark, did he not?" goaded the confident Cloud.
"What the hell do you know?! Leave me the fuck alone!" The Storm looked toward the source of those sounds, knitting his brows tightly.
"When you have enough of this, I can help you take the clueless herbivore's attention back." Hibari resumed the fight and led them to a different location.
In the Vongola's main office, Tsuna was celebrating the fact that he had finished his paperworks early and could start enjoying his free time. Looking out the beautiful window, he was glad that they no longer had to keep the base underground in this future. At least he had been until Reborn arrived. Please no more, I have done more than enough for this week.
"As the boss, I expect you to be more perceptive of your allies and famiglia members." His tutor perched himself on Tsuna's desk.
Three question marks popped up on top of Tsuna's head.
"Out of the kindness of my heart, I, your personal home tutor, will let you in on a little secret that you should have known already." Reborn fixed his fedora while giving Tsuna a small smirk.
A gulp was his answer.
"Dino and Hibari are together. Xanxus and Squalo just need to get their acts together. And, Gokudera is with Yamamoto, of course!"
With his eyeballs almost popped out of their socket, Tsuna stammered, "Then, Squalo and Dino-san are… But, Xanxus and Hibari-san… Huh?!"
"And, the fun part for a good Mafia boss is to figure that out! I'll leave that to your capable brain." Reborn turned to leave. Tsuna was still in denial.
"One more thing, you should organize a welcome party for your guests tonight. An after-dinner tea party would do. Invite your guardians, too!"
Trying to wrap his brain around the idea of a tea party for his homicidal famiglia, Tsuna meekly nodded and began to make arrangements.
Fifteen minutes later, every guardian and ally within reach received the message. Every guest in the mansion, Xanxus and Dino, was extended a personal invitation.
In his private chamber, a contemplating Mukuro was holding a confidential conversation with his beloved Chrome.
"… and I practically ran out of Tsunayoshi-kun's office covered in cold sweats. What do you think, my dear? Was I overreacting? More importantly, what was wrong with me?" Mukuro was getting angry at himself.
"I think it's cute how boss was trying to give you a hug." Chrome smiled in a very fangirl-like fashion.
"Chrome-chan, the day Sawada Tsunayoshi actually wants to hold me in warm embrace is the day Xanxus and 'Kyo-kun' announce they are meant to be together till the end of time." Mukuro responded warily.
"Hmm…" Chrome looked out the sunny window, lost in her own fantasy of such events.
"Perhaps it was just my nerve. It's been a while since I last interacted with Tsunayoshi-kun. Or is it reverse psychology he used? Is he using some sorts of illusion? A better illusionist than I am?! Impossible!!! Hmm… Nah, it's just me and my paranoia. Next time, I will not run away from my cute prey!" Finishing his soliloquy, the playful Mist convinced himself to give 'the taking over Tsuna's body scheme' another chance.
Looking down at his cell phone's screen, he grinned at the perfect opportunity tonight.
After an unpleasant dinner sprinkled with stress, Tsuna entered the main meeting room in slow steps, hoping to delay the inevitable. Upon reaching and sitting on his armchair, Tsuna cast a worried look around the room, fully expecting to see some kind of bloody battles.
Instead, on the sofa next to him, Gokudera and Yamamoto were sitting together, both smiling at him. Reborn sat on his arm rest, enjoying a cup of tea. Letting out a breath, Tsuna bravely looked onto the right.
A chicly suited Squalo was sharing the velvet sofa with Dino-san. Slowly, the sword emperor snaked his right arm around Dino-san's waist and the blonde's nervous smile suddenly turned upside down as he squirmed uncomfortably.
Across from them, Xanxus sat on a throne-like armchair with Hibari-san on his armrest, looking completely content. Tsuna's eyes widened when they witnessed the Cloud's left arm casually draped over the Varia leader's shoulders, long fingers toying with the colorful feathers attached to Xanxus-san's hair. Said assassin boss was twirling his drink serenely, eyes closed, ice cubes clanking melodically against clear glass.
Directly in front of Tsuna were Mukuro and Chrome-chan. Both wore cheerful grins, though Mukuro's one was more on the malicious side. A sense of déjà vu entered Tsuna's mind. Is it me or I've seen this before…in my daydream the other day?!!
Having accounted for his circle of guests, he stated his welcome and wished them a good time at the Base. Before Tsuna could attempt a conversation starter, the sound of an eleven -year-old Lambo stuffing his face at the dessert table echoed through the relatively quiet chamber.
Standing in front of his seat with a tea cup in hands, Tsuna was about to sit down when Chrome's innocent comment stopped him dead in his track.
"Boss, the girls and I think it's time for you to find a special someone in your life. We (translation: the yaoi fangirls) could give you a few suggestions if you'd like. What do you say, bossu?" Chrome batted her beautiful lashes suggestively at Tsuna, feigning innocent adoration.
All eyes turned on him, some with badly concealed humor. If I didn't know better, I'd say you're trying to quicken my death, Chrome-chan.
"Umm, ano…" Tsuna was sweating bullets, this was so not the topic he wanted to discuss in such lovely companies (translation: people who found his misery the best entertainment).
"How about Hibari-san?" The mentioned guardian shared a smirk with Xanxus, cast Tsuna a condescending look and shot a challenging glare at Dino. Gokudera choked on absolutely nothing while Yamamoto patted his back and beamed at the Cloud.
"Or Mukuro-sama? I would not mind sharing Mukuro-sama with you either!" It seemed that Chrome-chan took Tsuna's uneasy silence for consent and continued to torture him this way.
"Kufufufu… Would you like that, little uke?" It was clear Chrome was not the only yaoi manga fan around here.
From a corner of Tsuna's desperate glimpse, Gokudera snorted behind his fist while Yamamoto flashed him a thumb-up. Hibari glared murderously at the male Mist guardian who ignored him in favor of licking his lips seductively at the nervous Vongola boss.
"Or do you prefer Dino-san, boss? That's Kyoko-chan's choice by the way." Chrome-chan pressed on after sharing a fond look with Mukuro.
Hibari-san turned his death glare on Tsuna in an instant. Dino-san glanced sheepishly between the young don and his angry lover.
"Stay away from my Dino, you can have anyone else! Don't you think Dino and I make a better pair than you and the Bronco, Tsunayoshi?" Squalo ran a teasing hand along the Cavallone boss' chest after his loud declaration. Dino tried to inch away from his friend, unable to look at his lover any longer. Xanxus gave them all a disdainful glare, his lips pursing in disgust. The Shark crossed his slacks-covered legs and flicked his silky strands at Xanxus.
Feeling as if he was being roasted alive with all the intense staring, Tsuna closed his eyes for a brief second and prayed for a miracle to deliver him. Please, Kami-sama above, let there be a crack on the floor that swallows me right where I am. I promise to personally thank the construction company for their faulty design if you could let me fall straight from this spot to the lowest underground basement level.
No such miracle happened. Tsuna opened his eyes and considered a couple of answer options while his panicked inner self ran around in circles, preparing for its demise.
If I say 'no' which implies Dino-san and I are better off together, Hibari-san will make minced meat out of me in two seconds flat.
If I say 'yes' which means I approve of Squalo and Dino-san's being together, I will become a well-done steak, tenderized by Hibari-san's tonfas and grilled by Xanxus' flame of fury.
Is crying an acceptable answer?
"It's a yes or no question, brat! How hard can it be?" the sword emperor demanded impatiently.
While Tsuna was debating, Xanxus' outraged reaction saved him from imminent death. And, Tsuna thought such day would never come! Wait, where's the apocalypse?
BAM. Xanxus' scotch glass made contact with Squalo's turned head, shattering the fragile material and dousing the silver mane in cold liquor.
Storming out of the room in fury, Xanxus signaled for Hibari-san and the two left without a word. The other occupants delved in the stunned silence. Dino-san glared at Squalo, but the Shark was too busy cleaning his hair to notice.
Soon, everyone left the chamber after bidding Tsuna good night.
As the last person to return to his room, Tsuna heard a muffled discussion behind Xanxus' door. Judging it was not worth the risk to eavesdrop, the nice boss quickly retreated into his own sanctuary. Before he could sigh in relief, someone knocked on his closed door.
"Boss, I understand why you could not answer Squalo's question." Chrome gave him a quick hug as Tsuna led her inside. Finally, someone sympathizes with my dilemma.
"You clearly have a crush on Dino-san! That's why you looked so pale and uncomfortable tonight." Chrome was nodding her head, pleased with her assessment. No, Chrome-chan! I was fearing for my life. Tsuna viciously shook his head to refute such false allegation.
"Don't be shy, boss! Would you like me to let him know? I can tell the others for you…" Chrome looked into his chocolate orbs, smiling sweetly.
"NO! Please no! Thank you, Chrome-chan, but I don't like Dino-san that…" Tsuna was having an anxiety attack. Do you want me to be bitten to death?
"Are you sure? I completely understand. We can help you!" Chrome stared at him in disbelief while holding his sweating hands between hers and Tsuna felt chills running down his spine.
"No, it's perfectly fine! Trust me, please Chrome! Promise me you will not tell a soul." The brunette tried desperately to convince her otherwise. The possibility that I may be straight or just uninterested never crosses anyone's mind around here, doesn't it?
"If you insist, but at least take these…reading materials…They'll help…" Chrome cheerfully pressed the questionable books into Tsuna's empty hands on her way out. Glancing at the suggestive covers, the innocent don blushed and swiftly shoved them underneath his bed. Even if I did like Dino-san that way, I wouldn't want to find out how creative Hibari-san could be in torturing me…
Finally, when Chrome made her promise and left his bedroom, Tsuna threw himself on the soft mattress, grateful he had just evaded a potential disaster. That night, the sweet boss was plagued with unwanted but long and vivid dreams of what Hibari-san would do to Dino-san and him. Sometimes I wish Byakuran would come back and save me from my famiglia... Why can't I have normal and loyal followers like him?!
Hello, dear readers! I'm hoping for ~5-6 reviews for this chapter. Also, I promise the next chapter will be funnier than this one. Thank you for reading, see you next week.