Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.
Thank you for all the reviews! I hope you guys will enjoy this last chapter. Have fun and let me know what you think!
Two Can Play at This Game:
Chapter 5: The End of Games
Sunday morning arrived in the quietness that threatened to suffocate all liveliness. Around noon, Tsuna woke up in semi-darkness and wondered why the ceiling was so dusty and intimately close to his face. Absentmindedly, the sweet boss ran a hand through his hair and rubbed at the new bump on his forehead. As he blinked away the tears and pain, the brunette remembered the circumstances which led him to this humble hideout underneath his own bed.
"VOI! WAKE UP, BUCKING HORSE!" Squalo's scream echoed across various chambers. Dino was jolted awake by said war cry. Rolling down onto the floor, the Cavallone boss grimaced at the newly acquired carpet-burns. Before he could steady his spinning vision, well-aimed shirt, pants and belt assaulted his confused face. The Shark loudly ordered him to shower and change into appropriate attire for their 'daring' departure.
After hearing the sword emperor's vocalization, Tsuna scrambled to his door and poked his head out into the hallway to check on the Italian pair. At the same time, Gokudera also took a peek outside from Yamamoto's doorway. Upon seeing his Tenth's swollen brow, concern suddenly glazed over the emerald orbs. Before the devoted Storm could rush to his boss' side, the natural born hitman pulled him back, surveyed the corridor for potential crossfire and then, followed the right-hand-man into Tsuna's room.
Five minutes later, the trio heard a resounding door slam from Squalo's direction and stopped their discussion to listen to the situation outside. In the guestroom, Xanxus stood up from his throne-like chair and strode toward the wooden door. The moment the Varia boss wrenched the door open, the silky end of Squalo's long mane brushed by his nose and a blur of blond mop rushed past his sight. The rapid sounds of heels striking marble stair steps jerked him into action.
While Xanxus was stomping down the staircase, Squalo and Dino were standing in close proximity in front of the bottom steps. The Shark roughly pulled the Cavallone boss toward his body with one eye defiantly glaring at the Varia boss. After dragging his friend into the middle of the grand front-hall, the Italian assassin turned his full attention on Dino and gazed directly into amber orbs. Uncomfortable, the blonde looked away from twin blazing pools and caught the sight of the imperious Cloud strolling along the top of the staircase from the upper left wing.
Suddenly, forceful lips crashed down upon unsuspecting ones. The impatient Shark wrapped his sword arm around the blonde's lower back; his right hand press against the back of Dino's head to deepen the one-sided kiss. Utterly horrified, the Bronco's eyes were about to jump out of his sockets at the sight of their locking lips. While Hibari stood rigidly with one hand gripping the beautiful railings in disbelief, Xanxus flew down the steps in a blinding flash of rage.
One furious hand grabbed Squalo's long mane and vigorously yanked the Shark away from his paralyzed 'lover'. The other scarred hand pressed the glowing muzzle of Xanxus' signature weapon against Dino's forehead. While the now hyperventilating don was mumbling his confession before imminent death, Xanxus securely restrained the surprised swordsman in his grasp.
"Xanxus!" Hibari took back control of his mental faculty, just in time. Xanxus turned to glare at the source, only to find his co-conspirator of this game. After a while the Varia boss slowly lowered his gun and put it back to the holster; Squalo snapped out of his bewildered state and broke free.
"VOI! What the hell! You almost ripped the scalp out of my fucking skull, asshole!" The sword emperor yelled out in anger.
Meanwhile, Dino wisely scampered away to hide behind a grand couch nearby a wall. All the commotions upstairs came to a halt as Tsuna and his friends tried to listen. Hibari calmly sauntered back to his room, knowing their argument would reach everyone's ears.
"So, what! You grew your hair out for me anyway." Xanxus growled his answer.
"That's not the point! You are harmful to my health! Thanks to you, I suffer from severe hair loss! You gave me undue stress! You made my blood pressure skyrocket in the prime of my years! And, you didn't even fucking pay for my medical care. The Vongola brat did!" Squalo bellowed these pieces of information generously for all to hear.
"Those are your own goddamn problems." Xanxus tried to appear nonchalant, dismissing Squalo's complaints.
"Which brings up another point! You don't give a shit about anything! You left me to deal with those Varia scums by myself!" Xanxus twitched slightly at this declaration.
"You made me do all the back-breaking labors. I work like a slave training the new recruits, making sure the Varia doesn't fall apart and keeping those idiots in check!" The Varia boss frowned in response. I let you run the Varia as you please. I didn't interfere. What more do you want, Shark?
"Doing those thankless jobs wouldn't have been so bad, if you had the decency to appreciate my efforts. You always complain about the foods, the liquors, the meats, the uniforms, the staff, the mansion…" Evidently, Squalo's rant was still going strong. Xanxus' scowl deepened. I like them. It's just fun driving you up a wall.
"You throw random craps at my head. You deliberately taunt me. We fight over ridiculous craps. Your obnoxious demands irk me to no end!" Xanxus' minuscule patience was quickly evaporating. You're the only one I pick fights with…See if I let any of those other scums argue with me the ways you always do.
"Worst of all, you didn't care if I leave or stay; where I go is never your concern!" Squalo stopped his monologue, staring at Xanxus' right hand. The Varia leader's last string of self-restraint snapped. I trust you, damn it!
A large sphere of Xanxus' Flame of Fury flew straight toward the Sword Emperor's face. With his excellent reflex, Squalo gracefully dodged the infernal ball. Swinging out his sword arm, the Shark redirected the burning projectile toward the Vongola's antique couch. Unfortunately, Dino was hiding behind said piece of valuable furniture.
Fortunately, the Cavallone boss was skilled enough to plaster himself against the wall when the ball of flame flew by and disintegrated his hiding spot. In the meantime, the two Varia leaders were too busy engaging in their heated argument to notice anyone else.
"You almost killed me with the blasted thing! What…" Squalo protested loudly, his arms waving in earnest.
"What are you, a sissy? I know damn well you can defend yourself, stupid Shark. You're not that weak and useless! Or am I mistaken, trash?" Xanxus spat out his questions.
"That's it! You don't care whether I live or die. I'm moving in with the Bucking Horse. At least the idiot…" Squalo glared at Xanxus, viciously trampling on his own feelings. Said Cavallone don was not feeling so well, either. Chills ran down Dino's back mercilessly. From his very conspicuous and vulnerable position on the wall, the Bronco shivered uncontrollably as cold sweats filled the inside of his Italian shoes.
"Are you cutting all your ties with me? Are you breaking your promise to be loyal and stay by my side?" Xanxus' snarl was dangerously low; his whole body was illuminated by rage. Upstairs, Tsuna had severe difficulties in swallowing a gulp of saliva down his own dried throat.
"No, dumbass! I am and always will be your greatest ally, regardless of your nasty habits. But, we'll just be friends from now on. No more extra shit. No sex. No free labor. I'll do the missions you assign and that's it. If you need help with the Mafia business, I'll be there, ok?" Despite his bravado and logical words, Squalo's heart was bleeding silently.
"HELL NO!" Xanxus roared.
"Why the fuck not? What the hell am I to you anyway?" Squalo's annoyance seeped into his short reply.
"YOU'RE MINE!" bellowed the Varia Boss, crimson eyes burned with untamed emotions.
Suddenly, Xanxus lunged forward, trapping the unprepared Sword Emperor in a crushing embrace. Muscular arms tightly squeezed his lean torso. A wide-eyed Squalo stood rooted to his spot, unable to process a coherent thought.
"And, I don't fucking share!" A harsh whisper entered the Shark's ears, muted to all but the intended target and Dino.
Hungry lips collided on stunned ones passionately. Squalo returned to his normal self and began to reciprocate enthusiastically. The pair's loud moans were quickly followed by heavy panting as the couple tried to devour one another. The reluctant blond audience closed his eyes to avoid the graphic mental images of their tongue actions.
"We're leaving, trash!" Squalo cheerfully announced their departure which echoed throughout the silent villa. While Xanxus was calling for their car, the Shark grinned victoriously and sent a discreet wink toward the flustered blonde. A minute later, Dino detached his stiff body from the sweat-soaked wall and approached the front window to watch the dysfunctional pair's departure.
At the front gate, Xanxus gave Hibari a quick nod before following Squalo into their vehicle. After the two deadly assassins had left, the aloof skylark and his faithful right-hand man drove their own car out of the Vongola Japanese Base. In a moment of wistful thinking, the Cavallone boss wondered if he could use Xanxus' infamous line to crawl back into the independent Cloud's limited good graces.
Before following his beloved owner, Hibird flew by Dino's window pane, happily singing Namimori Middle's anthem. Realization dawned upon the blonde. If he ever declared such possessiveness toward the Cloud, he would first have to survive the onslaught of Kyoya's pets.
Hibird angrily pecked his eyeballs out of their socket. In its jealous rage, Kyoya's hedgehog exploded out of proportion and used his body to practice a not so healing form of acupuncture. While attacking him, the fluff ball would sing 'Hibari' joyously. And the needle sphere would call out in a high-pitched voice that either sounded adorably like 'Kyo' or fatally like 'kill'. Take your pick, but the smart don knew exactly which one meant exclusively for him.
When the slaughtering was over and not an inch of his body left intact, Kyoya would look down at them with those soft and understanding blue-grey orbs of his. By no mean the tender loving care would be for Dino. His Kyoya would be too busy checking his hedgehog for non-existent wounds and tending to Hibird's needs. Sadly, while Dino was bleeding profusely to death, the proud guardian would not remember him at all.
Letting out a tired sigh, the blond boss walked up the stairs, gathering his luggage and subordinates. They left the Vongola in a rush in order to salvage their boss' love life.
After Dino yelled out his farewells, Tsuna and his best friends decided to leave the corner they had been huddling together for the purpose of eavesdropping. Gokudera stood up from their spot, awkwardly trying to avoid Yamamoto's gaze. Tactfully, Tsuna left his own room, claiming he was hungry after all the excitement.
"Takeshi, I don't remember what happened… I mean last night was… I'm sorry…" The Storm uncharacteristically stammered and whispered the last words.
"It's alright, Hayato! I don't understand much of it either. But, Squalo's game is over and he sounds happy. So, yeah!" The Japanese swordsman grinned lovingly at the Storm, showing sparkling teeth.
"Oh, and I'm always happy to take care of you!" The Rain embraced the Vongola's right hand man, confidently wrapping tanned arms around the silver head's torso.
"Thanks, baseball idiot!" mumbled the blushing Storm. The couple shared a simple kiss.
"Ha Ha… Let's join Tsuna for lunch. I'll make you guys some sushi, ok?" The soothing Rain asked while taking Gokudera's hand and tugging him toward the door.
"Tch, fine!" The Storm's temperamental words elicited a carefree laughter from the natural born hitman and brought a genuine smile on his companion's face.
At the dinner table, Tsuna finally let out the long breath he hade been holding since the beginning of Xanxus and Squalo's invasion. Exhaling deeply, the nice boss took another piece of home-made sushi, enjoying the peace with his happy friends.
"Hey Tsuna! What's a threesome? Can you guys teach me?" An eleven-year-old Lambo entered the once serene dining room. All three heads snapped toward the doorway.
Tsuna's face turned completely red; his friends could practically feel the heat wave radiating off his head. Wisely, the sweet don stuffed his mouth with a huge onigiri, safely excusing himself from explaining such activity to the childish guardian.
Gokudera was stuttering some sort of answer to Lambo's inquiry. Needless to say, he did not succeed in making any sense. Gesturing his hands wildly, the Storm eventually admitted defeat somewhere among his jumbled words. His memories of last night were still hazy at best, but that horrifying word kept popping up in his mind like a flashing billboard. He was not brave enough to ask for clarification anytime soon.
Even Yamamoto refused to look up from his teacup. His gut feelings were telling him to claim temporary amnesia. But, being a great boyfriend that he was, the swordsman glanced at the Storm and tried to help Hayato in his desperate attempt to distract the kid.
"Why don't you…" Gokudera mumbled the first part, hoping to buy time for the next inspiration.
"Ask someone else, like…" Yamamoto continued the suggestion sheepishly.
Three pairs of eyes looked at Tsuna expectantly. Squirming on his chair, the Vongola Decimo racked his brain, willing his mind to find someone to dump, he meant bestow, this responsibility. He needed a person who a/ would not kill Lambo for simply asking and b/ would not kill him for redirecting the kid to said person.
"…Fuu…ta! Yes, Fuuta!" Tsuna silently prayed for forgiveness after naming the hapless victim. That was the moment the ranking genius officially became Lambo's mentor (translation: personal slave). Kami-sama blessed the most awesome power of leadership, delegation.
"Umm, OK! Stupid Gokudera wouldn't know anyway." Lambo announced, smiling cheekily at the trio. The ill-tempered Storm, for once, did not rise to this obvious bait. Yamamoto swiftly offered the gluttonous boy a plate sushi to appease his incessant questioning.
An hour after Squalo's triumphant departure, Dino arrived at the deserted Namimori Middle. The midday sun relentlessly heated up the bare rooftop where the Cloud was waiting for his herbivore. The moment the blonde entered the blaring stage, the wind stopped. On the school ground below, Romario watched anxiously.
"Kyoya, I…" A swift kick interrupted his prepared speech. Dino barely dodged it in time, relieved there was no screeching hedgehog just yet. Backing into the wall, the Cavallone boss held up his hands and tried to explain once again. His words fell into deaf ears as the skylark was set on fighting him.
After a series of attacks in which Dino merely tried to defend his vital organs, the Cloud drove the tonfa in his right hand directly toward the blonde's face. The Italian closed his eyes as the end approached. A strong wind whipped past his left cheek. A loud crack stilled his heart when the metal stick connected with the wall behind him. Opening his amber orbs, the boss saw the embedded weapon barely missing his left ear. He found himself caught between the hot wall and the independent guardian's warm body.
"I'm sorry…" The blonde tried again as his eyes were captivated by twin pools of unfathomable blue-grey.
"Save it! I am neither insecure nor foolish enough to believe the Shark's charade." From above, Hibird softly landed on the skylark's head. Nestled in silk dark locks, the yellow fluff ball chirped his owner's name contently.
"Just remember, I'll bite you to death if you ever think about pulling a stunt like that again." Hibari retrieved his tonfa and walked toward the exit.
"Then, let me pay for the damages and redeem myself." Dino asserted quickly, feeling guilty after his involvement with Squalo's insane scheme. Following the skylark, Dino smiled upon seeing Hibari's slight nod and disappeared from his subordinates' line of vision. Swiftly, Tetsu appeared to invite Romario and his worried group to a sake house nearby.
At the Foundation headquarter, the Cloud was lounging on his wooden veranda. Lying on the cool surface, the skylark fell asleep with Hibird on his right knee. His revealing yukata swayed with the afternoon breezes.
"Get to work, Bucking Horse! My hedgehog needs to be properly groomed." The blond boss ran his sweaty palms across his forehead, wondering how he could actually begin cleaning Hibari's box weapon. After enduring some painful jabs from the spiky ball, Dino successful wiped away all traces of imaginary dirt on the loyal hedgehog. Before he could rest, the hedgehog decided to multiply and made five more replications of itself. Startled by the sudden burst of energy, the Blonde stumbled backward, tripped over a stone lantern and fell unceremoniously into Hibari's pristine koi pond.
"If my fish die, I'll bite you to death, Bucking Horse." Quickly sitting up, the Cavallone don gave a nervous chuckle and lifted his soaked body out of the pond. Snorting at Dino, the hedgehog called out 'Kyo' and climbed on the shaded veranda. As the cute animal snuggled on top of his Kyoya's toned abs, Dino spent the rest of the afternoon chasing after its five copies across the garden.
Eventually, the exhausted don passed out at one point during the exercise. When he regained consciousness, he found himself resting next to the sleeping skylark. The bright hues of dusk colored Kyoya's pale skin and made him all the more enticing in the boss' eyes. Dino carefully leaned over and wrapped his arms around the skylark. His trail of kisses earned a soft smirk on Hibari's lips. As they removed each other's clothing, Dino began his plan to make up to the proud guardian.
Back at the Varia Headquarter, the lower members were enjoying the convenient absence of their two fearsome leaders. Confident in the questionable assumption that Xanxus and Squalo would spend a long time to fix their messed up 'relationship', none of the Varia quality noticed the black car pulling in front of their mansion, the two figures walking toward the main entrance or the rather frantic thumping sounds inside their coat closet.
In the grand hall, to the left of the center staircase, a heavily bandaged Levi was lecturing the Varia subordinates about the virtues of their great leader, Xanxus. On the other side, Bel was chasing Fran around, trying to force the young illusionist into the frog suit. Needless to say, their supposed vacation to recover from Xanxus-induced stresses did not come true due to their treasurer's, Mammon, refusal to fund such frivolity (Translation: the Arcobaleno was too attached to the money to ever relinquish any).
The lovely couple stopped short of opening the front door, curious to hear what their subordinates were doing. Levi's booming voice reached unprepared ears.
"Our boss is a great and wonderful leader whose manly needs far exceed that of any feeble man. Behold and admire these scars I received in the Boss' great throes of passion. They are sure signs of our Boss' prowess. That I, Leviathan, alone am worthy of his favor!" Sniffing emotionally, the lightning head revealed his various patches of raw skins and healing bones.
Outside the door, Squalo violently clamped a hand over his mouth, lest his seething lover heard his laughter and decided to make him the first scapegoat for Xanxus' infamous wrath.
Inside the mansion, twenty or so Varia followers chorused numerous 'oohs and ahhs' in response to such impassioned speech. Suddenly realizing Levi's lesson, Bel stopped his chase; Fran halted in front of the staircase, trapped between Levi on one side and Bel a couple yards away.
"Ushishishi… As if Boss would ever share his bed and body with you, sucker!" Bel proclaimed his unsolicited opinion loudly. Fran and the subordinates looked from him to the blushing Levi with great interest.
"Shut your trap, pauper! Like you have anything better to show…" Not finishing his sentence, Levi fired one of his electrical umbrellas at the spoiled prince. Before the lightning bolt could reach him, Bel shot out a string of deadly knives toward his opponent. Fran, unfortunately, was trapped in the middle.
Being the great illusionist that he was, Fran jumped back, conjuring up a figure that immediately stopped both attacks. The lightning streak disappeared before contact; Bel pulled back his knives instinctively. The illusion was Xanxus with all of his raging glory.
Outside, unable to contain his curiosity, the Varia Boss pushed the sword emperor off the keyhole through which he was peeping and had a look for himself. The Shark wisely conceded to press his ear against the door instead of fighting the gun-wielder as the fake Xanxus began his speech.
"I am Xanxus of the Varia. Will you morons stop fighting or else I'm going to cry because I simply cannot live without Squalo!" The illusion wiped non-existent tears as Fran tried to come up with the next comment. Levi's mouth dropped open.
"For obvious reasons, * fake cough* Squalo *fake cough*, I never have to move my butts around here…" The Xanxus-illusion's monotonous speech was cut short.
"Ushishi…No! No! You got it all wrong, my little froggy. The Prince knows the King best!" Bel interrupted, waving his hands dismissively. Every member in the chamber could not remove his eyes from Xanxus' chosen few.
"The reason he refused to move from his throne is not that he's a lazy ass who depends on Squalo entirely. He is just insecure about the state of his buttocks. I wouldn't blame him for being ashamed of his pruny behind. Have you seen a rapidly defrosted steak? All wrinkly and shriveled up because of the high heat; that's what happened to Boss after all the thawing we did!" Bel scrunched up his nose, shivering at his own mental image.
The Xanxus illusion self-consciously cupped its butts to evaluate Bel's long explanation. Some members laughed nervously at this joke. On the other side, Squalo let out a couple of stifled laughs despite knowing how far from the truth Bel's speculation was.
"The Prince would never be caught dead standing up with such appendages. Boss sure is brave…" Bel nodded his head sagely, secured in such profound wisdom (Translation: vanity).
"That explains why Boss is so obsessed with his guns. He used them to draw people's attention away from such deformities, right?" Fran rubbed his chin, voicing out loud his curiosity. Half of the Varia followers stared at the gaping Levi while the other half absorbed Fran's statement eagerly.
"Ooh, look at these guns. I am now trigger-happy! Cool…" The illusion of Xanxus muttered excitedly, pointing its guns around with an awe-struck look on its face.
"You're right for once, little frog! It's called overcompensation. Take the meats for example; remember how Boss always complains about their impeccable quality? He's picky with the meats because he's a closet vegetarian. He didn't want to eat them, so he had to be overly critical and reject those somehow. Ushishi…can you imagine if the Vongola's biting brat finds out Boss is a meat-fearing herbivore?" Bel went on with his explanations. Levi was still speechless due to this shocking discovery.
On the other side of the door, Squalo's shoulders were shaking uncontrollably, though he managed to not let out more than a squeak. Is it me or this place is getting hotter with each passing minute? A fuming Xanxus to his left looked about ready to explode at any moment.
"Who needs friends when you have guns like these?" A cheerful fake-Xanxus proclaimed proudly, ignoring the stares it received.
"I see… These firearms masked Boss' lack of friends and masqueraded his failed attempts at anger-management…" Fran spoke over the Xanxus illusion, intrigued by Bel's insights into their mysterious boss.
"Hmm…" The genius knife-wielder considered such notion with a serious look on his face.
"Shut up! How dare you make fun of our beloved Boss?" A hyperventilating Levi shook himself out of shock and roared his disapproval.
"Stupid Levi! We're not poking fun. We're sympathizing with Boss' unfortunate disposition in life. More importantly, we must understand the root of his problems. Eight long years in ice! Just think of all the chances of getting laid he missed out in those insatiably hormonal teenage years…" Levi's protest fell into deaf ears as the room was filled with raucous laughter. Bel winked at Fran underneath his long bangs. Squalo was rolling on the ground, laughing his ass off.
"Just think of all the awkward, experimental sex he could never make up for in his old age." Bel elaborated while gesturing his arms in a grandiose manner.
"No wonder, Boss envies our youth… hmm…" Fran was pretty impressed by this amazing psychoanalysis.
"Yup, can you imagine spending 8 long years without sex and what happened to his you-know-what during that time?" Every member of the Varia, from the elites to the common men, all wept a little inside his assassin heart, grieving for their Boss while recalling the failed coup d'etat.
The umbrella-obsessed one was wiping his snots on his Varia jacket when the volcano called Xanxus erupted and ripped open the path to hell.
BAM! A sudden silence covered the hall as Xanxus kicked down the door, slamming it against the marbled floor. Levi, Bel and Fran stared incredulously at the figure before them; the Xanxus illusion quickly covered its most vulnerable lower region. The group of subordinates inched surreptitiously toward the back exit. Behind the demonic Xanxus, the Second Sword Emperor was dusting himself off while glaring around the room.
The loud banging in the coat closet to the two leaders' right side became awfully noticeable in this suffocating quietness. A minute later, the abused storage room gave in, and a tied-up Lussuria tumbled out of his tiny compartment. As he lost his balance and rolled onto the floor, Squalo recognized the oddly familiar quality of the fine strings used to constrain the boxer. Bel let out a small signature laugh nervously and swiftly untied the Varia healer with one flying knife.
Getting to his feet, Lussuria successfully snapped the last thread of Xanxus' sanity with one greeting.
"Hey, guys! Daddy and Mommy are finally home after their honeymoon retreat!"
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, TRASH!" Squalo fulfilled his obligation as the Varia second-in-command right before taking the only safe hiding place, behind Xanxus' stiff back.
A nanosecond after Lussuria's high-pitched squeal registered, the Varia Boss let loose of his temper; twin guns shot out massive streams of his 'Flame of Rage' instead of shots, which made Tsuna's X-Burner seemed like a breeze in comparison.
Half an hour of torching later, Xanxus and Squalo ordered the terrified servants to fix the headquarter and send the bills to Tsuna before the pair left for their summer villa (aka: Tsuna's Italian Base).
Three days after the above incident which amounted to a grand total of a week of peace since the Varia leaders' showdown, Tsuna's office was once again filled with uninvited guests. In front of his mahogany desk, Lussuria, Levi, Bel and Fran were asking (translation: demanding) for a place to stay in his Japanese base. The other Varia members who could not fit inside his small office spilled out to the hallway. The smell of smoke and burnt fabrics assaulted Tsuna's nostrils mercilessly.
To the left of the Vongola Decimo, a tearful Levi was holding a Squalo doll which had qualities similar to the ones Tsuna's Sun Guardian gave I-pin and the girls. In his other hand, the lightning assassin squeezed a rather dangerous-looking needle. As the Varia elite proceeded to pin and poke the Squalo doll in various painful places, Tsuna forced his eyes to look away lest he himself gave in to temptations. Levi, is it too late to join your voodoo session? I suppose Oniisan will make some dolls for me…I do have a handful of tormentors in mind… Wonder how effective this witchcraft can be…
Moving on, the compassionate boss stared at the torched and choppy bangs of one Prince Ripper. For the first time, Tsuna could look Belphegor in the eyes. Fran sported a ragged appearance with his torn shirt and charbroiled pants. All of them seemed to have come to his office barefooted as well.
To his right, nearest to his face, a half-naked Lussuria was lamenting his 'no-longer stylistic' hair while coughing up numerous soot balls onto his desk. The boxer appeared to have rather red and raw skin on his upper body.
Upon seeing the miserable state of his independent assassination squad, a part of Tsuna that included his big heart went out for them. This part of his soul urged him to take them in unconditionally and provide for these 'refugees' in this time of needs.
However, a good chunk of him, the part that consisted mostly of his self-preservation, told him to send them away as quickly as possible. Harboring fugitives running away from Xanxus was never a good idea. Push came to shove, who was going to provide him asylum in his escape from said Varia boss' wrath?
"Hey, what's extremely going on here?" Tsuna's Sun Guardian pushed his way into the crowded office.
The friendly guardian was immediately embraced by a distraught Lussuria. In a short greeting of matching fists and glowing postures, the two boxers walked off together right after Ryohei offered to share his suite with the Varia boxer.
As he departed, the Varia nanny, oops Tsuna meant healer, gestured for the others to follow him and find a room to stay. All the while, a muted Tsuna sat on his chair and stared at the disaster that would surely come. The matter was out of his hand; his soft heart could not reject the homeless-look-alike Varia members out right. From the expensive reconstruction bill on his desk to the numerous ash-colored hand prints on his walls, everything reminded Tsuna of his delusional decision to humanize the Vongola.
Listlessly, Tsuna exhaled while lowering his head onto the wooden surface. Somewhere down the hall, the Vongola Decimo could hear the heated arguments about sharing foods, beds, space and bathroom between the Vongola members and the Varia followers. In the common dining room below, a food fight was conducted to defend his honor against the virtues of Xanxus.
Underneath his office window, in the beautiful garden below, Gokudera-kun apparently had encountered his archrival, Bel. During their fight, multiple strings of profanity and loud explosions echoed throughout the Vongola estate.
Yamamoto's appeasing 'maa, maa' stopped the moment he saw Levi puncturing the Squalo doll. Being a loyal friend to his ex-tutor, the Rain attempted to reason with Levi who replied with a blast from his lightning umbrella. Another fight ensued as Levi added a 'baseball freak' comment which was strictly reserved for the Vongola Storm's affectionate tone only.
On the sideline, Fran sat emotionlessly watching his fellow Varia elites engaging in the fighting frenzy. Absentmindedly, the illusionist hugged his one remaining boot from the pair that came with the Varia uniform. After three days and two nights sleeping in the wilderness, it was the last proof of his dignity as a member of the Varia quality.
In the first night after the 'great fire incident,' Lussuria, Levi, Bel, Fran and their twenty or so subordinates spent a lot of time wondering where they should go and how to survive without the basic necessities. That was the case until everyone became ravenous and decided to fill their stomach first.
Unfortunately, all the small games in the woods surrounding the Varia mansion had smartly disappeared before they could attempt the hunting and gathering game. As starvation was never a good thing for a group of homicidal assassins, it led them to a desperate solution: roasting their leather boots. Fire did not come easy despite what Levi might brag. Dinner in this night was a semi-civilized event; each of the hungry members grabbed one from the pile.
The second night did not go well, as no one was completely sure of how long they would have to fend for themselves in the wild. Thus, dinner became a full-blown brawl in which everyone tried to take at least one more boot from the fire. Not that they loved the taste of burnt animal skin, it was merely a survival strategy. In the end, everybody, besides Fran who wisely tossed in an illusion instead of his boot, was barefooted and deprived of human manners.
Before they started to devour each other, Lussuria had the sensibility to guide them toward the Vongola Italian Base and hitch a ride on one of their private jets bound for the Japanese Headquarter.
And so, Fran reminisced about this degrading experience and wondered why he agreed to join the Varia in the first place. Stretching his arms with the boot tightly clenched between his palms, Fran could not imagine what happened next to his precious boot (Translation: the last scrap of his humanity). The eleven year-old Lambo walked past him, adeptly avoiding the crossfire, only to drop a giant wad of saliva-covered and germ-infused chewing gum onto Fran's near pristine footwear.
Being the talented and unstable Varia elite that he was, Fran leaped into action, whipping dark demonic aura around the young Vongola Lightning Guardian. Fran joined the fight with the kind of enthusiasm and ruthlessness that even made Bel proud.
Vaguely, in the midst of chaos and inevitable destruction, Tsuna wondered where he could stay once the Vongola filed for bankruptcy and became homeless. Surely, Dino-san would let him and his friends stay out of the pure kindness of his heart.
Then, Tsuna remembered his rather selfish and antisocial Cloud Guardian. It was an entirely different matter if said guardian could ever tolerate their presence in the Cavallone mansion. The Cavallone Famiglia would not be too happy with them if they inadvertently led to their boss' heartbreak. In short, Tsuna and his friends were doomed.
"Well, congratulations, Vongola Decimo!" Somewhere in the abyss of his semi-conscious state, Tsuna was greeted by the sardonic Vongola Secondo.
"You have successfully expanded your little psychiatric ward into a full-scale mental asylum. Wouldn't you say so, Vongola Primo?" The Second smirked at the scowling First who had just appeared before Tsuna.
"Tsunayoshi, as much as this pains me to admit. The bastard was right." The First boss took hold of Tsuna's shoulders, inhaling deeply before uttered the next sentences through gritted teeth.
"Forget this insane and toxic famiglia of yours. Run for the hills, as far away as you can and start a new family there. As much as I love the Vongola, I want my sole descendent to live in relative peace of mind and continue my bloodline somewhere else." The Primo let out a defeated sigh.
"But who's going to lead the Vongola?" Tsuna asked.
"Why, Xanxus, of course!" The Secondo grinned evilly. The Primo immediately twisted his head around in anger.
"Admit it! Xanxus is your long lost bastard, isn't he?" The First snarled at his successor.
"And, what if he is?" The Second Vongola cheekily retorted.
"You're scheming for my heir to fail and now you ask me what's wrong?" The Vongola founder walked toward the Second, trying to intimidate him with his famous flame.
"At least my illegitimate bastard is more capable of controlling his lackeys than your true bloodline successor! Saying something there, don't you think?" The arrogant successor faced his former boss head on with a condescending smirk.
While the two childish men argued about their legitimacy and age-old grudges, Tsuna finally realized that he had been given official permission to ditch the Vongola and all of his responsibilities. Grabbing his wallet, the young boss made a mad dash for the opened front gate. Good luck, Xanxus! You'll need it…
Unfortunately for Tsuna, Reborn chose that moment to return from his vacation. Standing on the lawn, his onyx eyes followed Tsuna's dusty trail disapprovingly. The home-tutor whipped out his pet and transformed it into a long rope. After twirling its loop above his head a few times, the hitman expertly threw the lasso in the fleeing boss' direction and captured his left leg. The moment the rope snuggly tightened around his left ankle, Tsuna began struggling for dear life, clawing his blunt fingernails into the soil.
"Tch, tch, tch… Dame Tsuna! You know better than to run away from your responsibilities at this age. As their boss, you have to fix the problem no matter how difficult it is!" Reborn lectured seriously while dragging the Vongola Tenth back inside the rumbling mansion.
"But, The First said I..." Tsuna cried out in pain while digging his fingers into the dirt and resisting Reborn's pull from his flat-on-his-stomach position.
"What did I say about imaginary friends, Dame-Tsuna? Stop the pathetic excuses!" Reborn did not even turn around to face him.
From a random window, a kitchen sink flew out and knocked Tsuna on the head. As the boss lost his consciousness, his valiant but futile struggle against Reborn came to an abrupt ending. His heartfelt cries for freedom became one with the loud screaming and fighting in the Vongola Japanese Base. Inside his head, inner Tsuna mourned the untimely death of his sanity.
Inside his Vongola ring, the First and Second were now fully engaged in an all out brawl.
"Traitor!" The First yelled as he wrestled the Second to the floor.
"Loser!" The Second swiftly retorted after flipping the First over his shoulders.
A crowd of Vongola Bosses gathered around the wrestling match, enthusiastically betting for their favorite boss and insulting the opposite team. This was a much fun as a spirit could get inside the Vongola Ring. Apart from the rowdy group who was cheering for their entertainment, the Ninth was talking to the only female Vongola boss with a wistful look on his face.
"If only Tsuna and Xanxus can get along as well as our two predecessors… Such youthful enthusiasm indeed, right Mother?"
Somewhere on the highest floor of the Vongola Italian Base, Xanxus sneezed loudly and jolted awake in his sitting position. His crimson orbs scanned the terrace, from the careless trail of clothing they left on the spacious platform to the ornate balustrade where their wanton lust fought for dominance till exhaustion.
A cool wind brushed by their body, relieving the summer warmth and carrying a subtle hint of wildflowers from the meadows below. A sleeping Squalo turned his head slightly on Xanxus' lap. His long mane draped over the Varia boss' legs like a blanket of silver silk. Lying flat on his back, the Shark sprawled on the marble floor, spreading out his arms and legs freely. Slowly returning to his nap, the Varia leader leaned back against the wall and laid his right hand possessively on top of his second-in-command's chest.
Thank you for reading my story! Although this is the last chapter, please leave me a comment/ review!