I just want to say thank you so much to those who reveiwed. I really wasn't expecting that many. Sorry for taking so long to update but I've finished my exams now so I have more time on my hands. I realised that I said enjoy for the last chapter which probably isn't the best word since it's a sad story. Though i suppose it is possible to enjoy a sad story, just a different sort of enjoyment than a happy story - i really have no idea what I'm spraffing on about so I'll let you read it. "Enjoy"! And please review again: ) Oh and for Jaded-Amaya there will be Seth/Summer in the up coming chapters though not in this one.

Chapter 3: Silent Pain

Seth looked from Sandy to Ryan then back to Sandy again. It was even more awkward than his first meeting with Dr Roberts. Suddenly he felt a tickle in his throat.

"Oh god. This is not the time!" he thought to himself. He swallowed trying to get rid of it but it just wouldn't go.

"Hmmghh!" he coughed loudly, shattering the silence in the room into a thousand pieces. Sandy's head shot up in surprise and he looked at Seth. But Ryan didn't move an inch, his head hanging low looking down at his feet.

"Sorry," he said quietly. Seth frowned at Sandy and motioned with his eyes towards Ryan. Sandy glanced at Ryan then back to Seth. He shrugged his shoulders. Neither of them even knew where to begin.

"You should get a drink for that cough," Sandy said to Seth.

"Yeah. Hey Ryan you want anything?" he asked trying to sound casual. Ryan slowly lifted his head and looked at Seth. He sat there just staring at Seth for a few seconds before shaking his head and looking back down. "You sure? 'Cause, you know, they do say that there's nothing like a Pepsi to…"

"I said no, okay!" he shouted at Seth, his head snapping up. Seth sat still for a second, taken aback by Ryan's sudden outburst.

"Hey, Ryan it's going to be okay," Sandy said trying to be reassuring and helpful, realising as soon as he said it that it was a bad move.

"Oh it's going to be okay is it?" Ryan asked sarcastically. "How exactly is it going to be okay?" he didn't give Sandy a chance to say anything. "Huh? 'Cause you know I don't see it!" He got up and started to go towards the door, when he stopped in the middle of the room, staring at the door in front of him. "Do you know that she died in my arms? I held her as she died! I saw the pain fill her face, as she slowly struggled to breath. And you know what the last thing she said to me was? She said 'don't leave me'. And then I told her it's going to be okay." Ryan paused breathing deeply. "I told her everything was going to be okay, then she died in my arms." Seth and Sandy just sat there, Seth staring at the floor, Sandy's eyes fixed on the boy in front of him. "So I'm sorry but I don't see how anything's going to be okay," he finished, speaking quietly before pulling the door open and leaving the room. Seth looked up from the ground, his eyes meeting with Sandy's. They looked at each other, not having to say a word to convey how shocked and worried they were. It was bad enough that she was dead, but the fact that she died in his arms just made everything a million times worse.

"Do you think maybe…" Seth motioned to the door.

"Uh… yeah…you stay here, wait for your mom to get back, I'll go find Ryan." Sandy was about to open the door when Kirsten walked in.

"What's going on? I almost got knocked over by Ryan." She looked between Seth and Sandy who both remained silent. "Okay which one of you was it? What did you say?"

"Ugh… I don't even know," Sandy said sounding defeated, sitting back down. "I told him that everything will be okay, and he just…." Sandy shrugged his shoulders, not sure what had even happened.

"That's it? That's all you said."

"The situation is worse than we thought," Sandy said.

"What do you mean?"

"She died in his arms," Seth said quietly. Kirsten looked over at him.

"What?" she asked, though she had heard him perfectly. Seth nodded grimly. "I can't believe he had to watch her…" Kirsten slowly walked across the room and sat on the bed, completely at a loss for words.

"I should go and find him," Sandy said standing up again.

"Be careful," Kirsten said to him as he walked over and kissed her gently on the lips.

"I will," he said before running his hands through his hair and leaving the room.

"So…uh…how'd Julie take the news?" Kirsten looked at Seth absently, clearing still going over everything in her head.

"Hmm?"

"Julie. How'd she take the news?" Seth repeated.

"Oh not well. But I mean what can you expect?"

"And Summer?" he asked quietly not sure if he wanted to know, knowing that she would be heartbroken. Kirsten looked at her son who she knew was scared. Scared for Summer, and Ryan, even Julie, but also scared because he had just lost a friend. He may not have spoken to Marissa for most of his school life, but Kirsten knew that since Ryan had arrived she had actually become a good friend and not just the girl who happened to live next door.

"Mom?" Seth looked at her strangely as she sat there staring at him.

"Oh sorry. Well she wasn't hysterical like Julie, but she took it hard. I don't think she quite believed what she was hearing." Seth nodded his head and clenched his hands together. "She's going to need you now more than ever before."

"That's what I was afraid of," he said quietly lowering his head.

"You're a man now, and I know you love her. Just be there for her. Just be yourself," she told him reassuringly. Seth looked up at her and she noticed tears glistening in his eyes.

"But what if that's not enough?" he asked, holding the tears back. "Her best friend just died! I don't even know how to process that never mind to help her as well. I don't know if I'll be strong enough for both of us. I want to be there for her – more than anything in the world. But what if I'm not enough? What if I let her down?" Kirsten felt tears forming in her eyes. She had never had such and honest and emotional conversation with her son before, and truthfully she didn't know how to react.

"Come here," she patted the bed beside her. Seth sniffed and laughed quietly. "Come on. Or are you too manly to sit beside your mom?" she asked lightly. Seth looked at his mom and gave in, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. She put her arm around his shoulder as he rested his head on hers. "Hey, how about we forget the being a man for a while," she said quietly, stroking his scruffy hair. They sat there for a few minutes just happy that they had each other, no matter what.

"What am I going to do?" Seth asked, breaking the silence.

"You are going to be there for Summer and she's going to be there for you. There's no point in sugar coating it, it's going to be hard. Just take it one step at a time. There's no point in asking questions that may not need answers. No matter what, you have each other." Seth sat up and looked at his mom.

"You are becoming quite the motivational speaker. You've been with dad way too long."

"Maybe that'll be you and Summer one day."

"Wo, wo! What happened to taking it one step at a time? Plus I've got many, many years until that."

"Hey, you saying I'm old?" she asked playfully pushing his shoulder.

"Now that is a question that does not need an answer." Kirsten shook her head and smiled.

"Come here." She reached her arms out and hugged him properly, not wanting to let him go. "You're not on your own," she said quietly as they hugged. Seth sighed shakily and closed his eyes. He knew it was true but he also knew that Summer would be needing him and all he could do was be there for her and pray that it would be enough.

Sandy walked out of the hospital into the darkness outside. He looked around the corner of the building and saw a shadowy figure sitting on the ground against the wall. He walked over and slid down the wall to the ground beside Ryan. They sat there in silence, the distance noise of ambulance sirens echoing in the background.

"I'm sorry."

Sandy turned his head and looked at Ryan who was looking at the ground in front of him.

"Ryan you have nothing to be sorry about."

"I shouldn't have shouted at you like that, it's just…"

"You don't have to explain anything okay?"

"Yeah I do!" Ryan said almost harshly looking at Sandy. He clenched his jaw and looked Sandy right in the eye. "It's my fault that Marissa's dead."

"Oh please don't say that. You can't blame yourself." Sandy had been dreading Ryan saying that. He always had a problem accepting that when bad things happened it wasn't his fault.

"You don't get what I'm saying," Ryan said bluntly. "It was my fault."

"Ryan…"

"If I had listened to her she would be alive. She told me to pull over but I didn't." Sandy frowned at him.

"Why did she ask you to pull over?" He was getting the feeling that there was a lot more to what happened than any of them had even imagined.

"The crash….it wasn't an accident. Well it was but…" he trailed off not knowing what else to say.

"You can tell me kid," Sandy said gently knowing that he couldn't push too hard.

"We were driving to the airport, when a car started ramming in to us from behind. Volchek. He was drunk and he kept ramming in to the car. I tried to get away but if I had just listened to Marissa and pulled over….I was the one he wanted to fight. I was the reason he was ramming in to the car, the reason he pushed us over the cliff. So I'm the reason that Marissa's dead. So like I said, it's my fault."

"Ryan it's not your fault! Volchek was the one that rammed you off the cliff."

"Well then why do I feel so guilty?" Ryan looked at Sandy again. "She's dead and I could have stopped it….I could have…." Sandy instinctively pulled Ryan over to him as he broke down. He held the back of his son's head as his body shook. There was no sobbing, no cries of pain. Just silence. Silence because there is no noise made when a heart breaks.

Please review, and i hope you "enjoyed" it!