Sorry for the delay in part 3. Blame real life and a bit of writer's block!

Chapter 3: Talking

The silence in the room was deafening and you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. Neither man knew quite what to say or do.

Christian knew he couldn't afford to say the wrong thing or aggravate Syed in his current fragile state. This wasn't the time to get in too deep. He needed to just establish contact again, to get talking. The deep stuff can wait for another day. Syed was conflicted. There was no way he wanted to talk to Christian about the last few months but he knew he couldn't quite force himself to get up and leave the room. Something was making him stay.

In the end, it was Christian who broke the ice. " Sy..ed , I need a cup of tea. Will you join me?" Nothing too contentious there he thought.

Keeping his head down but glad that Christian had been first to speak, he replied " Yes please, Christian, thank you."

Taking the opportunity to glance over, Christian smiled briefly realising Syed had said his name for the first time - still with that lilting almost songlike quality he always used to use. He turned to fill the kettle and busied himself looking through cupboards for 2 mugs. "Keep things light" he said to himself.

Syed lifted his head quickly and saw Christian with his back to him. Instinctively his eyes were drawn to that little spot on the back of his neck which he knew so well and which used to drive Christian wild every time he smothered it in kisses. Not being able to help himself, his eyes wandered down his back... still the best damned arse he had ever seen. Suddenly he gave himself a shake " Don't even go there, you idiot. Don't do this to yourself".

Christian walked over with 2 mugs and handed one to Syed when he looked up. "Here you go, if I remember correctly, teabag in first, then the water, just a spot of milk and of course, no sugar because as you loved to remind me, ' I'm sweet enough already'". He smirked and was delighted to see Syed respond accordingly and roll his eyes.

"Well remembered! Do you still take tea with your sugar?"

"Ha, pleased to see you haven't lost your sense of sarcasm. Actually, I've cut down. I only take 3 in a mug now".

"That's still disgusting!." Another shared smirk.

Christian bent down to put his cup on the floor and then lowered himself to be at Syed's height. He didn't want to sit too close to him so he sat at a right angle to him, with his back to the adjacent wall.

They spent a couple of minutes in silence both just sipping their tea and drinking in the situation. They simultaneously remembered the old days when they were content just to be in each others presence – when words weren't necessary.

Christian had a good look at the man sitting near him. It shocked him to see just how miserable he looked at close quarters. Syed had always had good posture with a strong straight back and shoulders but now he was round shouldered and hunched making him seem even smaller than he was. He snatched a glance at Syed's hands wound round the mug of the tea as he took a sip – his long well-defined fingers which used to entwine so well with his own. They were almost skeletal now and his fingernails were far too long and needed a good clean. It was as Syed took a sip of his tea that he noticed a large gash on Syed's thumb

"What happened there, Syed?" as he nodded to the thumb.

"Oh it was nothing." he muttered. "I was trying to open a tin of food with a pair of scissors and hit my thumb instead of the tin. It's ok, I'll live."

"You shouldn't leave these things.. they might get infected and make you unwell " As soon as it was out, he wished it unsaid.

Syed looked up, clearly irritated and spat back a retort "Or maybe I just didn't care whether it got infected or not. Same goes for the rest of me, before you pass any more remarks on my appearance".

Christian inwardly flinched at his stupidity and Syed's angry tone "Sorry, Syed. I didn't mean to pry, it just looks pretty painful, that's all."

They lapsed back into an uncomfortable silence again. When Christian had sipped the last of his tea he stood up dejectedly to take the mug to the sink. Instinctively, he held out his other hand and Syed immediately handed his empty mug to him. Their eyes met – Christian's despondent and Syed's bitter.

" I need to fix this" Christian thought to himself as he walked to the sink. While washing the dishes and desperate to break the atmosphere, he pondered a change of subject. With his back to Syed, he spoke with a false cheeriness.

" It's been ages since I've been here. Must be 3 years anyway. I got off the tube at Covent Garden and it was like I'd been here yesterday. I lived in a flat just round the corner for a while when I first came here. I must go take a look sometime and see if it's still there. It was great, me only 19 with 2 older guys, Mike and Ian. They taught me everything I know. I had a brilliant time" He managed a chuckle as he remembered. " But then mum sent Jane to come and look for me and bring me back. I wouldn't go and Jane and I had a massive row. We didn't speak to each other for nearly a year."

"Good, well you'll know how I feel about you and Tambo being here then won't you" Syed replied sharply

Christian sighed, he'd put his foot in it again. He turned and walked back to where he had been sitting minutes before. But this time he lowered himself directly in front of Syed, letting his knees take his weight. He placed his hands on Syed's shoulders.

"Look at me Syed". No response. "Please, Syed, look at me" Syed jerked his head upwards and glowered. Christian wasn't intimidated and stared back at him, keeping his hands firmly on the other man's shoulders "I am sorry for upsetting you. I promised myself I'd keep things light. I just want us to get used to being in each others company and talking again. It's been a long time. But I just can't seem to say the right thing. I have no idea what you've been through these last 6 months and I'm not deliberately trying to force you to talk about it. I want to know and I want you to tell me but only when and if you feel ready to. Before everything else, Syed, we were friends. I've never stopped being your friend. Can we start again?

He released his grip as he felt Syed physically relax. Their eyes met again but this time, Syed managed a small almost apologetic smile. He was hesitant and his voice was barely audible

"I know, I'm sorry too but can't you see that's why I went away? I didn't deserve your friendship – or your love. I didn't deserve anyone's. I gave you all nothing but grief and pain."

"Yet I'm here and so is Tamwar, so we must think you're worth it" Christian shifted back to his original position against the adjacent wall. "Tell you what, lets not talk about this any more just now. I'm not going anywhere and if you want to talk to me about it later you can."

Syed mouthed his thanks and smiled again. Confused and unable to work out why Christian could be so understanding after everything that happened he just knew he was grateful to him for not forcing the subject.

For the next forty minutes, Christian steered the conversation onto the films he'd seen recently, the latest albums he'd bought and, Syed's particular favourite, the latest episodes of Dr Who. It started off slightly one-sided, he did most of the talking but that was ok. He watched as Syed grinned and rolled his eyes about his taste in music. He laughed as the younger man groaned in response to trying to get him to remember a song by singing it to him– badly out of tune and 'la la ing' most of the words. As the subject got on to Dr Who, Christian noticed Syed uncurling his feet and stretching out. He recognised this from their time together as a sign of him being relaxed and at ease. Syed made Christian describe the programmes in detail and kept butting in to ask questions.

"How the heck can I remember, it was 2 months ago! I'm not blessed with your photographic memory for all things Dr Who" remarked a peeved Christian after one such question

Syed frowned and lightly kicked Christian's leg in mock frustration " Ooh get you. Don't get your knickers in a twist" he sniggered "You were always useless at remembering the important stuff" . He leaned back, put his hands behind his head against the wall and bit his bottom lip to disguise his urge to laugh.

Christain feigned offence for an instant then smirked and sat back against the wall. He was content. They were comfortable with each other. It was a start. A small start but a start nonetheless

Silence.

Again.

Only this time, it was like the old days. This was a content, pleasant silence where no words were necessary.