Life in Miniature Motion
The full story of wee!John
By Kyizi
Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis and all related items do not belong to me, only the stories and their related original ideas and characters are mine. No copyright infringement intended.
All other information can be found at the start of chapter one
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Chapter Three
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"You are distracted."
Rodney blinks and refocuses his attentions on Teyla, giving her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I…I'm sorry."
"It is all right, Rodney," she says, settling down on her bed.
Rodney looks around the room, takes in the changes they've made to accommodate for John's presence, and tries very hard not to resent them. Teyla's quarters always seem to calm him just as she does herself, as if he's surrounded by her and it's comforting in a way that he'd never really expected to find.
"You look lost," she says, indicating that she'd like him to sit by her and he does, not sure he could ever deny her anything.
"I feel lost," he admits, frowning. "I can fix this; I know I can fix this."
"As do I. We all have faith that you will return John to us as he was before, but that does not mean that we should be unwilling to accept him as he is for the time we have him." She smiles. "A child is a gift, Rodney, no matter the reason for its existence. John has been given something that many would accept with pleasure."
"I don't understand."
Teyla sighs, frowning in a way that he knows well and he lets her collect her thoughts. "I have lived among your people for many years and still I cannot understand many of the restrictions you place upon yourselves and those around you. I have seen you all struggle through times of great adversity and I am proud to call you my friends and my family, but even you must see that this is a chance for John to break free of the responsibility and the pressure he has lived with for so long. We should care for him and let him enjoy this time. Perhaps, in turn, his presence will allow us to do the same."
"But what if I break him?"
Teyla's gentle laughter soothes him more than her words. "Rodney, you will not break him. I will be here to help you, as will many others."
Rodney nods gratefully and swallows. He sometimes wonders if Teyla understands what she means to him, wonders if she can possibly realise that he'll never understand how she can even like him when he so often doesn't like himself very much.
"You are a good man, Rodney," she says, almost reading his thoughts. "John is lucky to have you. Please, enjoy this time and believe you make things right in the end. We have faith in you."
It's that faith, more than anything that that makes him believe it.
~x~x~x~x~x~
"Where's John?" Ronon asks, dropping into the chair next to him and Rodney jumps.
"How should I know?" When Ronon raises his eyebrows, Rodney huffs. "I think he's with Lorne."
"Just saw Lorne and the pretty doctor headed somewhere, John wasn't with them."
"Try Cadman," Rodney says darkly and returns his focus to his computer.
For some reason that Rodney is unable to ascertain, John actually likes spending time with Lieutenant Cadman and it's not because she likes to blow things up, because Elizabeth put her foot down where John and explosives were concerned and Cadman's not stupid enough to defy her boss. Even without thing that go 'boom', however, John likes to talk to her, to chatter about his day and she makes him laugh with abandon and delights him with some magic that Rodney doesn't think he'll ever understand. She calls him 'Johnny', keeps him entertained and is happy to spend hours chasing him through the hallways. The fact that no one calls her on it is likely due more to the fact that they're jealous of her freedom with him than the fact that she could probably beat them up.
"Thought I'd take John swimming off the North Peer," Ronon continues, breaking into his (totally not jealous) thoughts and Rodney nods.
"Whatever, sure, have fun."
Ronon rolls his eyes and stands up. He's half way to the door when Rodney yells, "Just try not to drown him!"
"McKay?"
Rodney taps his earpiece at the tentative sound of Cadman's voice. "What?"
"Eh…we might have a problem."
"What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything! Johnny and I were playing hide and seek and…he's hiding."
"Hiding where?"
"Well, if I knew that I wouldn't be calling you, would I?"
"You lost him?"
"No! I just…can't find him. I thought maybe you could try to track him down? I think he's been teleporting from place to place whenever I get warm."
"You are the worst babysitter ever!" Rodney says, already moving to the door. "Ronon!"
"Like it's never happened to you!"
"Whatever," he says and then proceeds to fill Ronon in on John's status as MIA. With the search underway, Rodney heads to the labs, muttering to himself the whole way there. John might have over 200 babysitters ready to play with him, but he's beginning to wonder if any of them are actually capable of getting through a single day without incident. Himself included.
~x~x~x~x~x~
When they finally isolate and lock off the 'transporter beams' John takes a full blown temper tantrum the next time Rodney places him in the bathtub and he can't get out. He then goes into a snit that lasts a whole day and burns out what little patience Rodney actually has. Luckily (or unluckily in his estimation), the moment Rodney's about to blow, John bursts into tears (prompting alarm more than anger), apologises and latches onto Rodney's legs until the he says, 'it's okay, we're good' about a hundred times and the boy almost falls asleep, exhausted, on his feet.
The next morning, things are fine and Rodney chalks that one up in the win column (he keeps tally on a small hand held in his top drawer and is constantly alarmed by how few scratches there are in that particular column). He doesn't think about it again and figures that's the end of that and doesn't bargain on anymore major issues.
The truth is that, transporter beams aside, Lorne's actually given Rodney a heads up on quite a few things. It's times like this that Rodney really wishes he'd actually been listening.
"John Sheppard, you get your naked little butt back here right now!"
"Ha! You has to catch me!"
"You're gonna regret this when you're big again! And I'm only going to say, 'I told you so'! I'm telling you to get back here, right now, before the entire city sees y-" He cuts off with a growl when John's little white bum disappears around the corner and straight into the mess hall. Its lunchtime, so by the time he's reached the door, John's doing tricks and dancing for a rather large and amused female crowd, whilst the horrified military contingent studiously does not watch the spectacle.
By the time Rodney's crossed the room, Lorne's already got the boy upside down, giggling and ready to hand over to Rodney.
"I warned ya, Doc," he says with a smirk and Rodney ponders how easy it would be to just cut off all of the Major's hot water.
"Yes, well, next time, be more insistent!"
~x~x~x~x~x~
To say that the personnel on Atlantis had been excessively excitable and amused by John's current predicament wouldn't be far from the truth, in fact in Rodney's estimation it would be a gross understatement. So that it still hasn't worn off to what he considers acceptable levels in the time following the event isn't entirely a surprise to him, but it's something he's finally managed to ignore (if you fail to include the copious ranting and glaring he dishes out on a daily basis). So it's safe to say that the impending arrival of the Daedalus is an event that he certainly isn't looking forward to, because the chances are that the insurgent of new people will bring yet another bolster of energy to the already insufferable cooing and pandering that follows the three-year-old around.
So when Caldwell arrives, looking painfully horrified at the prospect of interacting with the kid-ified Colonel, it actually kind of makes Rodney's day.
"It's not like I'm asking you to take it with you," Rodney says with a huff. He adds a glare for good measure and carefully masks his glee at the look on the man's face. "Just show him around the ship, let him look at the alien in the engine room and have him back by supper time."
"I…really don't think that's a good idea," Caldwell says, eyeing the boy carefully. That John's clasping his hands in front of him and swaying gently from side to side with a somewhat angelic look on his face doesn't seem to be putting the man at ease, and Rodney wonders if the time they spent rehearsing said look was all in vain.
"Look, we need him out of the city for long enough to run tests on the transporters and I, for one, do not relish a week long game of find the tiny Colonel."
"It would be a great help, Colonel Caldwell," Elizabeth says with a smile, her hand hovering over John's shoulder in an almost motherly fashion. Whatever she's doing seems to batter through Caldwell's defences and the man gives a resigned sigh and nods.
"Come on then, Sheppard."
"John!" the boy cries, stamping his foot for effect, all faux innocence discarded.
Caldwell grimaces, says, "Okay, John," and reaches for the boy's hand, before he has them beamed aboard the Daedalus.
Rodney grins and then happily spends the rest of the day playing with fricking transporter beams (sometimes he really loves his life). He's trying to visualise how much trouble John can get into on a spaceship and feels a little smug, because he doesn't feel the slightest bit sorry for Caldwell.
~x~x~x~x~x~
"And then Lindsay thew a wench at his head!"
Rodney sprays his coffee right about the time he realises that John's talking about a wrench and not a woman of questionable profession. And really, he knows that's a hell of a less likely thing for the tiny scientist to have thrown at her pet Asgard (let alone where she'd have got one, but then this is Pegasus and Sheppard always was good at finding that kind of thing), but he's been awake for going on thirty-five hours and he's not quite up to speed.
"So you had fun, Johnny?" Lorne asks, holding up his hands in defence when the kid glares at him. So far Cadman's the only one who's got away with that nickname.
John eventually nods. "Linsday's funny. She hitted he' head and twipped ove' and fell on some yucky stuff when she showed me the planes and she sang me to seep and den Steven showed me 'Lantis fom 'pace and-"
"Okay, you had fun, we get it!" Rodney yells, his head still throbbing from too much caffeine and not enough sleep. He'd bargained on having fun for a few hours, instead he ended up with three missing marines in supposedly flooded parts of the city and he's pretty sure he actually broke physics at least once in the last twelve hours. What's worse is that he's not entirely convinced his day's over yet.
When John bursts into tears he kind of wants to join in. Instead he curses and hates that he wants to kill himself for upsetting the kid, because these aren't the messy crocodile tears that he's got used to over the past few weeks, but the silent 'you really upset me, you miserable excuse for a man' kind of tears that he's only ever felt sorry for inflicting once before. After Jeannie, he figures he should fix this now and not wait about five years.
"Come here," he grumbles, picking John up and setting him on his lap. The boy curls into him and burrows his head into Rodney's neck, his hands grabbing fistfuls of Rodney's t-shirt. "I'm just tired," he explains, not quite saying 'sorry'.
He's already feeling particularly wretched and doesn't think things can get much worse. And then John mumbles, "Don't send me 'way 'gain, Wodney."
To hell with handing the boy over to Teyla; John's not leaving his sight for at least the next three days. Possibly ever again. He figures that'll give him enough time to get himself back together.
~x~x~x~x~x~
The room is small, out of the way and lined with what looks like pretty impenetrable materials. Rodney figures it for some kind of testing room, or at the very least a radiation room, or possibly just somewhere the Ancients worked with less than stable substances. There's no real way to be sure as the records in the city database don't mention it and the room was completely empty when they found it. Either way it's perfect for working with the machine.
Rodney has the device set on a work table in the centre, hooked up to multiple laptops and surrounded by a force field he'd discovered in the settings on the control panel by the door. He knows now that it was Patel who broke the device's control unit into a million pieces for 'study' and, whilst Elizabeth told him he can't fire the man for it, he has a feeling there's likely to be an extra scientist on the Daedalus when it leaves (Rodney's not known for his niceties, but even he was impressed with the impact of the verbal lashing he bestowed on Patel). The control is unusable, so he's not taking any chances with the device; he has the force field on pass lock that only he and Radek can access.
"I am sure that John could convince Atlantis to break the field if he chose to. Perhaps it would be best-"
"John's not allowed in this room."
"Yes," Radek says, adjusting his glasses. "Well, John is also not allowed to start food fights in the mess, change passwords on lab's computers, turn on Ancient machines, run naked through hallway, or take tantrum in the 'gate room, but this does not make a difference."
Rodney glares at him. "He won't come into this room."
"How did you convince him?" Radek asks, frowning.
"I informed him that we would fix the transporter beam when he got older and I'd take him on a Ferris Wheel next time we got back to Earth."
"Ah, you bribe."
"It was not a bribe," Rodney protests. "It was a…deal. We made a bargain." Radek nods, but it's clear that he's not buying it. "Just because I had to specify that we'd turn the beam back on his fifth birthday doesn't mean he's likely to remember!"
Radek just nods again.
"Okay, so the kid has memory like an elephant, but that's two years away and I'll have him fixed by then." He studiously does not mention that he's very likely to find himself on a Ferris Wheel when they end up back on Earth.
Radek smiles reassuringly. "Of course you will." Rodney nods, feeling somewhat rejuvenated by the confidence and turns back to his laptop.
They work in relative silence for what seems like minutes, but is actually hours. The hallway outside is filled with the strange sounds of Atlantis' lower levels, almost like the noises an old house makes in the dead of night. Rodney finds it strangely cathartic and is in his element, finally feeling as if the coding he's working with might just be starting to mean something to him after all.
It's at that point, of course, that everything goes to hell.
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The alarm siren is still going strong when he reaches the right access door in the stairwell. All the transporters have mysteriously shut down and no one seems to be able to find the off switch for the noise that's battering into his skull.
Rodney's pretty sure he's about to keel over by the time he reaches the end of the corridor and he notices three very important things all at once (he is a genius after all); one – the sound of the alarm stops just outside the room; two – there are four people standing inside said room doing absolutely nothing; and three – Colonel John Sheppard, USAF, will in fact be the death of him.
"John Sheppard you make that stop right now!" Rodney yells, entering the room at high speed.
His heart's beating out of his chest and he's frantically trying to figure out if the brain damage will make any difference if he just hauls John out of the control chair. The boy's giggling and bouncing in the revolving seat as if he's on a carnival ride and, if Atlantis weren't currently headed for outer space, even Rodney might admit that it's nice to see Sheppard so relaxed, even if he is three years old.
"I mean it, young man, stop it now!"
"Wodney," his voice is both gleeful and awed at the same time. "I can see evwything."
In answer to John's unspoken command the room fills with stars. There's a gasp and Rodney's not entirely sure it wasn't him. He's standing in outer space. He can reach out and touch the stars if he wants to. And he really wants to.
There's something that most people don't understand about Rodney McKay. They know he's a genius, some even understand that maths and physics play in his mind in a symphony of numbers and equations, but if it was just about the numbers, was just about the pure physics, Rodney would have gone into pure research, or focussed solely on the theoretical. He would have chosen to immerse himself in the numbers and theories and left the physical exploring to others. He chose Astrophysics because he wanted to touch the stars.
He shakes his head and tunes back in to the yelling in his ear. Lorne has the military ready to act at a minutes notice, Radek is trying to disable the chair from the 'gate room and Elizabeth is, well, freaking out to put it mildly (and, God, he knows he's going to have to fight to keep John after this).
"John!" he yells, trying to fight his way through a solar system and the supernova to his left. He tries to focus, tries to think what way is up, down, left, right and just generally figure out where the hell the chair is before he gives in to the ache in his chest and just watches, just breathes it all in.
"John!" he tries again, swallowing when he puts his hand through the visible shockwave heading towards him.
"Wodney, dis is cool," a small voice whispers and he spins slightly to his left and takes a deep breath before just walking through the supernova and right into the command chair.
"John, stop this." His voice is rough and slightly hollow, because part of him doesn't want the wonder around him to go away.
As if sensing this, John replies, "Okay," and, rather than just making it all disappear, lets Rodney watch it fade slowly away.
It takes him a moment to realise that it's all gone and the three scientists and the marine still standing in the room look slightly shell shocked. He feels that way himself.
"Rodney!"
He jumps at Elizabeth's voice, decides to ignore her a little longer, and turns back to John. The boy's still rotating in the chair, his arms stretched to the max in order to reach both arm rests. He's just barely reaching them, though, and Rodney's pretty sure that Atlantis would give him control even if he wasn't touching them at all.
"I need you to land the city, John," he says, struggling against the contrasting urges to either let John play and see what he can get the city to do and just plain strangle John for scaring the hell out of him. There's also the fading ache in his chest that says he's not sure he wouldn't rather let the boy bring back the stars.
"I'm sowy, Wodney…" John says meekly, looking up at him. His lower lip trembles and his eyes start to fill with tears, but Rodney can tell from the sounds around him, the change in the city's motion, and the fact that Elizabeth is no longer shouting in his ear that the city is returning to the surface.
After what seems like forever, the chair blinks off and returns to a seated position. Rodney opens his mouth to yell, or scream, or…something, but John curls into a ball and bursts into tears and he finds he just doesn't have the heart to make it worse.
~x~x~x~x~x~
"Did you get anything out of him?"
Rodney blinks and looks up at the doorway to see Lorne watching him. He shakes his head and gently disentangles himself from the sleeping child in his lap, settling John into the bed before crossing the room.
"Did Elizabeth send you?" he asks, ignoring the man's question, and Lorne nods.
"Yeah, yeah, she did." Lorne's voice is tight enough that Rodney frowns, but the man won't look him in the eyes. "I'll watch him, Doc."
"Yes. Yes, of course."
It seems to take a long time to reach the 'gate room and he feels the eyes of everyone he passes following him. He feels like he's walking to his execution, because he can't think of a single thing to say to Elizabeth.
"Rodney, come in."
He shakes his head, realising he's been standing in her doorway for a while now. Sticking his chin out, prepared for a fight, he walks up to her desk and doesn't say a word. He can see from her face that she's expecting a fight, is expecting him to bluster his way through this argument so that she can fire down every reason he can come up with. So he doesn't.
"Please sit down."
"I'd rather stand."
She lets out a defeated breath and sits back in her chair. "Rodney, I'm sorry."
"Are you?"
"Of course I am."
"It's Sheppard, Elizabeth. I won't give up on him."
"I'm not asking you to, Rodney, but we can't go on like this. We simply do not have the capability to care for a child, let alone one who can take us into orbit."
"He needs to be here, Elizabeth. We need to-"
"I'm sending him home tomorrow."
"He is home!" Rodney yells, wondering why she can't see that, wondering why he even has to explain it and suddenly he's fuelled with more anger than he knew he possessed. "Atlantis is his home!"
"Atlantis is no place for a child, Rodney!"
"It's Sheppard!" he yells, knowing that the entire 'gate room is hanging on their every word and not actually giving a crap. Screw the IOA, screw the SGC and screw the entire damn galaxy, because Rodney will be damned before he hands over the only person in the whole universe who's ever cared about him that wasn't obliged to. He's not giving up on Sheppard yet and he's not letting the boy out of his sight until he's whole again. Possibly not ever.
"Rodney-"
"No. If you send him away… If you send him away, you lose me, too. Because I won't be coming back either."
Rodney's not sure who's more shocked by his statement, but he knows he means it. They stand staring at each other in silence for a while, before he turns, hearing someone in the doorway. Lorne's presence somehow makes things even tenser and Rodney can't help but feel that he's missed something, because the look Elizabeth and Lorne are sharing speaks of more than just his ultimatum.
"I guess I'll go pack," he says softly, clearing his throat. He's at the door brushing past Lorne before he hears Elizabeth speaking.
"Wait. Just… wait. Okay."
He turns and tries not to react to the look on Elizabeth's face, because he has the feeling he's missed a lot, but he's too angry with her to ask. "Okay?"
Elizabeth nods. "Okay. But there have to be rules, Rodney. Things can't continue like this."
"Okay." Rodney clears his throat. "I'll just…" he looks at Lorne and frowns. "Where's John?"
"He's with Jennifer in the infirmary."
"Right," Rodney said, clearing his throat again. "I'll just…go get him."
He's out the door before he remembers to ask who the hell Jennifer is.
~x~x~x~x~x~
This are left unbalanced for what fees like a disproportionate amount of time to Rodney. He can't think of when he's been so at odds with Elizabeth before and they're both feeling the lack of Sheppard to take a side. He almost expects things to feel out of synch and tense for months, years even, long after they finally get the Colonel back. But things shift subtly and gently into a state of equilibrium and, if it wasn't for the strange tension between Elizabeth and Major Lorne, Rodney's sure things would feel pretty normal. Well, comparatively speaking.
~x~x~x~x~x~
"McKay?"
Rodney looks up and blinks at Ronon. He's not sure how long he's been sitting there, staring at his cooling coffee, but the light outside is dimming and he's pretty sure there were actually other people in the room last time he checked.
"You okay?" Ronon slips into the seat opposite him, slouching down into it with a natural grace that Rodney's always envied in the younger man. His brow is furrowed and Rodney tries to think back and remember if Ronon's ever asked him that before. He knows that Ronon does, for some reason, consider him a friend, but they don't really talk. That's always more Teyla's thing and, really, how the woman ever manages to get anything out of the three of them is still a mystery.
"I'm…no."
Ronon smirks a little and shakes his head. "Weird, huh?"
"Weird doesn't even come close."
"Yeah, but this is Atlantis, things are always weird." Ronon shrugs. "You'll work it out." Rodney nods, somehow needing to hear it often, just so he can believe it himself. He's beginning to wonder if Ronon and Teyla are the only people who do believe he can fix it. "You speak to Elizabeth today?"
Rodney shakes his head. "No. Things are still…"
"Yeah, I think she and Lorne had another blow out."
"Another?"
"Yeah. No one seems to know what happened."
Rodney shifts, almost feeling guilty for not knowing anything. "Elizabeth wouldn't talk to me about it."
"Yeah," Ronon says and they leave it at that.
Rodney's never really been one for silence, but somehow he feels content to just sit for a while.
~x~x~x~x~x~
End of Chapter Three
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