The prompt, via putri_nih: Snotlout and Tuffnut crying together in their beer because all the awesome girls has been taken and they're kinda the lonely.
Tears in Our Beers
"Another round, bar wench!" Snotlout cried, slurring more than a bit. The bartender rolled her eyes and deposited fresh tankards in front of him and Tuffnut.
Snotlout picked his up and turned back towards Tuff. "So like I was sayin', it's just not fair, bro."
"Oh, I know, man," Tuffnut said, clinking their mugs together before taking a long drink.
"It's like, there are other girls and all, but they're not the same."
"Not at all," Tuff agreed.
"I mean, Astrid is like, like...like a rare, perfect gem in a world filled with dull stones and misshapen dust." Snotlout looked off into the distance, misty-eyed. "A shining example of everything a man could want in a woman."
"Yeah!" Tuffnut said, then, "What?"
"But Hiccup's all with the big hero these days! How am I supposed to compete with that? She's all, 'You're the Viking! But I'm gonna go suck face with this guy now.'"
"Dude, I can't even talk to girls! They're all like, 'We're scared your sister's going to beat us up,' or, 'We're looking for someone who has his own dragon,' or, 'I don't wanna go out with you, but I'd love to braid your hair.' This chick spent two frickin' hours on my hair, and then she just left!"
"Teases!" Snotlout said, pounding his tankard on the bar. "They're all cockteases, every one of 'em."
"S'cruel, man, just cruel."
"And Ruff! I mean, she's kinda freaky. I'd hit that. But she's dating the nerd." Snotlout suddenly sat up straight, a look of horror dawning on his face. "Tuff, the nerd has a girlfriend before we do."
Tuffnut's jaw dropped, then he threw his head back and wailed. "Oh gods, we're so pathetic. We're, we're like, losers man!"
"Don't you even say that, man!" Snotlout said, pointing dramatically at Tuff. "We just gotta find some chicks, even if they're less awesome than Astrid and Ruff."
"Do you know any other chicks?"
"No, do you?"
Tuffnut shook his head, then suddenly widened his eyes in worry. "Oh gods, Lout, half the girls I know are, are my sister. That makes dating really hard." He grabbed Snotlout's shoulders and began shaking him and sobbing. "Why is it so hard?"
"I feel your pain, man," Snotlout said, and they collapsed on top of each other, bawling.
Astrid rubbed her temple as she watched the boys. "Gay."
"They're not, actually," Hiccup said. "That's the whole problem. If they were, they could just..."
Astrid raised her hand to silence him. "Please don't finish that thought."
They watching the blubbering boys for a few more seconds, then Hiccup said, "You wanna go make out where they can see us?"
Astrid tapped one finger to her lips in thought, then turned to Hiccup. "Yes. Yes I do."
Hiccup gallantly gestured for her to lead the way, which she did with a flourish.