I'm BAAAAAAAAAACK in all of my glory. I will probably be updating once a week if not twice at least until my 6 WEEK WINTER BREAK is over… seriously… long ass break.

P.S. I can only bring back one story for the time being… due to the fact that freshman year is a crazy time… and I like this one sooo much better… so Don't Go Changing will remain on hiatus for a bit longer.

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight… but I own six pairs of black boots (4 are ankle boots)… beat that Mrs. Meyer, beat that!

I didn't know whether to be concerned or highly flattered. He had all of my things. Sure, his CDs and his chaise were here, but seriously, all of my things from my room back in Forks.

I felt my head start to spin.

"What does this mean?" I asked Edward as he pushed a chocolate brown curl behind my ear.

"Well, I guess what it looks like."

The washing machine syndrome I was experiencing in my brain quickly spread to my arms and down my torso to my legs.

"So you're a freaky stalker who stole another man's woman's old furniture?" I tried to laugh off my worry and ward away the millions of questions that twirled mindlessly in my mind for as long as possible.

The feeling reminded me of when Edward would pull me onto his back and run insanely fast. All the information I was gathering flew past me at hyper speed and I began to feel that oh so familiar feeling twitching in my stomach.

So I did what came naturally in such situations. I ran for my fucking life and vomited skillfully right into the porcelain bowl.

… cute.

"Sick." I muttered, clutching my stomach in embarrassment while Edward rubbed circles on my back.

He laughed and stared at the floor a little, contemplating his next action. When he had finally decided he stood and grabbed a pink toothbrush from a cup by the sink and squeezed some toothpaste on it. I grabbed it when he offered and began brushing every inch of my mouth furiously.

"If I had a nickel for every time you puke in my presence." Edward chuckled as I spit out the excess toothpaste in my mouth before brushing a second time.

"Of course, you choose this moment to widen your pristine vocabulary."

"I'm sorry, vomit?"

"Shut up." I gurgled as I swished water around in my mouth.

******

"So are you going to explain yourself yet?" I asked as I sat next to Edward on his couch.

"It's hard to explain without giving everything away."

"What does that mean? I don't remember a thing since I was 18! Don't you think you could spill your secrets just this once?" I pleaded. He shook his head and stared down at hands folded in his lap. "Why?" I didn't have to go on, he knew what I meant.

"Because it's something you should figure out on your own… and if you never do, then I guess that's fate's way of saying it wasn't meant to be." A frown began to pull at the edges of his mouth, so he picked Violet up off of the floor to distract himself.

"Is that really how you feel? You think that if I don't figure it out that we should never be together again." I began to quack with anger toward his incompetence. Sometimes the moody, brooding act got seriously old, especially during stressful times like this where all you need is a little bit of hopeful news. "So, say I don't remember. Can you let me go? I thought you cared more for me. You can just throw me away like that when it isn't even my fault."

"That's not what I mean, Isabella, and you know that!"

"Well, that's how it sounds to me! Do you think I wanted to forget! You think I want the last memory I have of you be that moment in the woods when you cast me away… so easily… just left me in the woods." His face contorted in anger but he didn't speak.

Suddenly, everything flooded back, all of the hurt and anger all those year ago when he left. I still had so many unanswered questions about that. Now was as good a time as ever to get some answers.

"That's it isn't it. Just like last time. It was my fault I cut my finger. It was my fault Jasper attacked. It was my fault I cut open my arm. It was my fault you left. It was my fault I suffered for months wondering what you were doing, whether you were thinking about me, whether you cared about me anymore. I thought you were going to forget about me. It was supposed to be like I never met you. So, why are you here now!?!"

I was blind with rage and when I came to my bleary eyes gave way to Edward, curled into himself at the edge of the couch with his arms sprawled across his legs hiding his face as I stood over him shouting. He looked like a child, scared to look up because of what might be lurking around.

"Ironic. Now I'm the monster." I sputtered through my tears. I calmed myself down as best as I could and sat on the opposite side of the couch, crying tears of hurt and relief.

We sat for what seemed like hours, him cowering in his corner and me bawling in mine. I waited for him to say something, anything to redeem himself, but it seemed he couldn't make himself face me… so I waited patiently.

"Bella." He moaned from some space between his hands, pleading for something. Probably for me to remember so he wouldn't have to do this again. Who knows what he went through years ago when he decided to show up again.

Sometime after that he uncoiled from his position and stared at the wall opposite us with his hands laced together touching his perfectly proportioned lips. Lips I wanted nothing more to ravage, if only he hadn't gone and fucked up our life together.

"I never, for even a moment, blamed anyone but myself for what happened to us. It was the worst mistake I've ever made. I spent months feeling nothing. I left myself with you. Do you understand that feeling? Like you are hollow with no way to fill the void?" He gazed at me, his eyes pleading me to understand, not knowing that I knew very well what that felt like.

"You don't know just how well me and that feeling know each other. The only difference is that I was incapable of curing my ailment. You knew where I was. You could have come back, but you never did. You left me all alone, with no idea where you had gone. You disappeared and took everything with you; My picture, my song, my everything."

Edward launched himself to his knees grabbing my knees tightly, inevitably bruising them. Great, another thing for him to mentally kill himself over.

"How can you forgive me? I thought what I was doing was right. You weren't safe with me. You could have gotten killed that night with Jasper. I thought I was keeping you alive by leaving you. Bella, all I want is for you to forgive me! Once I thought you had, but then you ran off with that dog. What can I do? Please, tell me. I can't lose you again."

I had no idea what to say to him. How could I forgive someone who killed me? He hurt me in every way imaginable, broke me, tore my heart out and took it with him as a little souvenir of his conquest. If it was anyone else kneeling at my feet pleading that I forgive them for ruining my life, I would simply slap them across the face and call it a day, but not Edward. I still wanted him. I would want him even if only for the next second, because I needed him. Our souls were intertwined now and there was not tool strong enough to break the connection.

"Edward, I can." My face softened and his entire body relaxed. His grip abandoned my calves and grasped my waist and his head collapsed into my abdomen. I ran my fingers through that wildly blonde hair that captured my eye so many years ago.

Slowly I lifted his head to gaze into his eyes as I finished my thought.

"I can forgive you, but not right away. I love you, Edward, so much. Why can't I just quit you? I don't want to, but sometimes it is so much harder loving you."

"I'm so sorry, Bella." He would have cried if he could, I know. He began to back away from me, but I held tight to his hair and brought his face closer to mine.

"Make no mistake, Edward, I can forgive you… but you are going to have to work pretty damn hard to gain back my trust."

"Bella." He breathed, hinting a bit of irritation.

"How do I know you aren't going to leave again?"

He grabbed either side of my face and cradled it as he stared deeply into my eyes. "I won't." He uttered.

"You can say that all you want, but how can I know that?" He broke eye contact with me.

"I understand."

"I love you." I replied hopefully.

I pulled his hair forcing his face towards mine. He hesitated for a moment, tossing sweet scented breaths across my mouth.

"You have no idea…" Our lips met in a frenzied mess, both of us searching for control and losing it at the same time. His lips felt the same as I remembered. They were hard and cold against mine, but not unpleasant. They were perfect. He was perfect. I could forgive him. I had to. "I love you so much." He panted against jaw as he made his way down to my neck.

I pulled his face closer to my skin by instinct, as if that would make him take a quick bite. He laughed and grazed his venomous teeth over my skin, following with his tongue as if he was licking ice cream off of my neck. He was stronger.

"One of these days, Edward." I whispered, hoping he would understand.

"The day you decide to trust me." He chuckled, but I took it seriously. I would hide that little confession in my coat pocket and save it for a special day. "So what now?" He backed away from my neck and stood to sit next to me.

Gee, I hadn't thought about that while he was groping my waist and licking my neck.

"Well, I've been here for hours. I have to go." Edward gave a slight gasp in frustration and grabbed my arms.

"Where? No you don't. Why would you leave? Is it Jacob? Stay with me. You can leave him!" He begged, commanding my attention.

"Geez, Edward, jealous much? I have to go back to Jacob at some point or he might kill himself." Edward smirked at the word kill and I slapped him across the arm.

"Well, I had another idea." Of course he did. "I was thinking maybe you should spend some time away for a little while. You know, to work on your memory, of course."

"Your idea is for me to leave? Seriously?" I cocked a questioning look in his direction.

"Okay, credit where credit is due. Jasper suggested it to me the other day." He sighed.

"Doctor's orders, I guess I am forced to vacation." I laughed and Edward smiled brightly at my happiness. He was so easy to please sometimes.

"Well, where are you going to go?"

"I'm not sure… Hawaii?"

"Too many Asians." Edward expertly rebutted.

He spoke the truth though. They make me so angry sometimes! At least with French and Italian people you can kind of figure out what they are saying, but Asians speak that gibberish language that sounds like nothing and travel around flaunting their economically savvy smarts that allow them to travel the world.

"You're so right. England?"

"I can't allow you to go to a different country without my supervision." The fatherly Edward entered the conversation. At last, I was beginning to think he was permanently dormant.

"Phoenix?" I already knew the response to that one. He breathed in and out a few times, pinching the bridge of his nose while simultaneously running a hand through his curiously bronze hair. His darkened gaze proved my assumptions and he reached over to touch my forearms for emphasis.

"Never will you ever go back to that place, Isabella. Plus, Renee sold the house a while ago."

"That's it!" I shouted enthusiastically, startling Edward simultaneously. "My parents. Forks or Jackson, take your pick."

"Well, I guess if I had to choose, Forks is closest." I was too excited to realize that he was making my decisions for me, but I didn't care. I would go see Charlie.

"EDWARD! YOU ARE A GENIUS!" I jumped into his unprepared arms and caused him to topple over on the couch. "I can go see Charlie! He hasn't seen me since I woke up, it's perfect. Plus, that's where everything happened: you, Jake, the cliff, everything. If I go there I have to remember." I forcefully kissed Edward on the forehead and bounced up and down on his chest like a child on Christmas morning. Not that he was complaining at all, he held a stupid grin on his face all the while. "I have to go. I have to pack. I need a car. I'm leaving tomorrow!" I shouted, jumping onto the floor and running out of the room to gather my things from the floor of the bedroom.

When I came back to say goodbye to Edward he was on the couch with Violet playing a little game with her. He would stare at her for a few seconds and she would greedily jump up, trying to lick his face, but Edward would back up just before she reached her goal, laughing whenever she got agitated and barked. After a few tries, she gave up and settled for licking his fingers as he rubbed her tiny little stomach.

For a minute I wished I was Violet. I would spend my days running around without a care, doting on my master as he rewarded me with pats, kisses, and ruffles of my fur. Every time I did something that especially pleased him I would get treats and words of praise shouted with a smile. Best of all, I would be with Edward... just Edward. I could follow him anywhere he wanted to go, whether it was Seattle or a small Villa in France or Spain. I wouldn't have to worry about losing my memory or Jacob Black and his devil dog puking on my bedding.

"I guess you can borrow one of mine." He smiled, knowing he caught me ogling him.

I quickly shook my head, clearing my thoughts. "What?"

"You can borrow one of my cars." He pushed Violet out of his lap, letting her curl up against a throw pillow. "Just don't vomit in it."

"Such an idiot." Sarcasm dripped from my tongue as I smirked.

He laughed at me again, flashing me that crooked smile I loved so much, while gracefully walking toward me on his long legs, his pants lingering beneath his tee shirt across his pelvic bone I longed to wrap my legs around. I would have him. No matter what the cost. I had to. He was my life now and always would be.

"I love you." He whispered as kissed my forehead and buried his face in my hair drinking my scent as if it were blood. His arms wrapped around my shoulders tightly and I snaked my arms around his waist wishing I could stay there forever.

"I will be back." I promised

"Forever?" He hummed against my ear.

"No, to get you car tomorrow, idiot. I'm going to Forks." I giggled.

"Then forever?" He pleaded.

"Forever and ever and ever."

We stayed as we were for a moment, he soaking up my heat, and I soaking up his comforting cold.

I kissed him one last time tangling my fingers in his hair to tide me over, and I made my way out the door and walked back to my least favorite place in the world.

*************

Woooooot. I trust that is a good start. I promise lemons are not far away you saucy minxes.

Leave me some lovin'!