Forgive me for my sporadic posting. I'm very sorry. Good news though, this is a chapter! Woot.

P.S. I promise I'll be better. It's summer!

Charlie had steak and cobbler. Nothing had really changed…. except for the fact that there was another woman at the table.

I really do like Sue. She's really nice.

She's with my dad…. Sue and Charlie. Charlie and Sue. It sounded normal enough. So, why was I feeling a bit irked by their relationship?

I'm not mad. I'm not even angry in the least bit. Just a little annoyed? No, not annoyed… I think the perfect description for how I feel right now is "weirded out of my mind". I mean, this was Charlie. My police chief father whose idea of a romantic evening was sitting on the sectional sofa watching the game and having some good ole' Vitamin R. Charlie doesn't know anything about girls. Example number one, Renee. Example number two, me! I just didn't understand how a man so socially bereft could land a classy woman like Sue Clearwater. It was boggling, and to be honest, along with the memory loss, thinking about what they do when I'm not around was giving me a mean case of the stomach grumbles.

I silently slid my pie to the side of the table; having only slightly tampered with the basket weaved crust.

"Bella-"

"Yes?" I asked; trying my very hardest to keep a seemingly genuine smile plastered on my face.

"I'm so sorry." She looked down at her cheesecake and slowly scraped the end of her fork against the edges creating little ribbons of filling. "This is not how I wanted you to find out… by any means."

As much as the whole situation nauseated me, I felt bad for Sue. She and Charlie had already sorted out everything with me… no doubt they had dealt with me being uncomfortable with the situation… I had to go and mess everything up by forgetting nearly a decade of my life. It was laughable really. I mean… this is like the fucking Matrix. Everyone knows what is going on except for me. I'm like some freaking glitch.

"Something funny, Bells?" Charlie looked stern. He couldn't scold me anymore, but he was still scary as Hell when he was angry.

"No! I was laughing at myself." They both looked quizzically at me. "I was just thinking about how you two had probably already dealt with all of this shock, I'm feeling right now, but you're still treating it like this whole concept is brand new… when in actuality I should have already known that you two were together." They didn't understand the humor; which wasn't too surprising seeing as how I was making absolutely no sense. I wasn't being coherent and I knew it. "I just feel at fault here. I hate not being able to remember… especially now."

"No, Bella. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault!" Sue rubbed reassuring circles against my back trying to calm me down, but achieving the opposite effect.

"Now wait a minute, Sue." Charlie interrupted her and stared me down furiously. "She's right." Sue looked a bit taken aback, and to say I was surprised would be a complete understatement. "Don't look so shocked Isabella. You're right. It is your fault. Now, I'm sorry you can't remember what has happened, but that gives you absolutely no right to sit at this table with that sickeningly sour face and push your food around the plate to humor me. I know you remember your childhood, but your mom and I sure as Hell did not raise a self-serving brat for a daughter." I felt like I had been slapped in the face as he ranted. "What happens if you never remember Bella? Are you going to keep moping around playing the 'pity me' card while we all cater to you?"

I couldn't believe he was saying these things to me. What if I never remember? That wasn't going to happen. I was going to remember… someday. Wasn't I?

"Charlie, you cannot say things like that to her right now." Sue scolded.

"Well, someone has to tell her! She's walking around like the center of the universe while she uproots everyone's lives. Just imagine how Jake feels! He can't even tell his own wife–"

"CHARLIE!" Sue gasped.

"WHAT?" I screamed, jumping from my seat and sending the chair clattering to the ground. If the entire restaurant didn't have our full attention during Charlie's monologue, they sure a sugar were gawking now. Meanwhile, my world was falling apart.

Charlie said wife. There was no mistaking it. It was me. I was married. It made sense. The nurse had called me Mrs. Black. I just assumed it was because of the ring, but then it hit me, why the hell would a nurse use Jake's last name if my charts had said Swan. He covered it up. He saw how I fainted and he decided to keep it a secret… and what about Edward. He had to know I was married… how couldn't he?

But if I was married to Jake then why were all of my things at Edward's house?

The room quickly began to spin as Sue multitasked screaming at Charlie and comforting me… but it was no use. I hit the floor before I heard a single word she said.

It was raining. Well, it rained every day, but today it was a downpour.

I watched Jake roll his suitcase through the door after kissing me on the cheek and agreeing to call me every night. I couldn't mistake the way his eyes glimmered every time I kissed his cheek, and it broke my heart knowing that I could never feel the same way for him.

I gently closed the door after he exited and began crying. What the fuck had I done with my life?

I knew I didn't love Jake the way he loved me when I agreed to this whole charade, but I made myself believe that maybe someday I would feel something close. Maybe if could forgot Edward; if I could just erase every memory, every feeling, then maybe I could be happy with Jake… but it didn't work out that way.

I blamed Edward. I should have blamed myself, but it was his fault, wasn't it? If he hadn't come back, if he hadn't cried when he apologized, if he hadn't looked so broken when I told him I was with Jake… I could have continued to hate him. But he did all of those things, and I fell for him harder than I had that day in high school.

Suddenly, an urge came over me and I wiped my face harshly, tearing my raincoat from the rack on the foyer wall and running into the hallway. Taking no time to lock the door, I rushed into the elevator. As soon as I reached the lobby, I sprinted out the glass doors into the pouring rain and continued down the sidewalk until I reached his townhouse. I ran up a few steps and banged against his door with all the strength I had left in me after my own little marathon.

I had my speech planned as I waited for him to reach the door. I would tell him to leave me alone. I would tell him there was no way we could be friends while I felt this way about him. He would have to leave me alone… and once he did me and Jake would be fine. We would have a baby like he wanted… she/he would have his tawny skin and my chocolate colored eyes, and we would take them to the park two blocks over and they would play in the sandbox while Jake pushed me on the swing. We would have a normal life, with normal family dinners where I would cook extravagant meals and everyone would eat them. We would grow old together and have grandchildren and move back to Forks into a house with a wrap-around porch and rocking chairs we would sit in during the summer when the weather was nice and—

"Bella?" My mind went blank. "What are you doing? Did you walk here? Come inside." All I could do was nod my head and submit.

Edward slipped off my jacket and his cold hands made contact with my arms for a brief second. A jolt shot through my body from the contact and I shivered internally.

"You must be cold… go sit on the couch and I'll get you something warmer. There's a fire going." I did as he asked and sat down. After a moment of thawing out I got my bearings and continued where I left off planning.

-watch all of the people passing by. Well, that's about as far as I was planning on going.

"Here you go." Edward returned with sweatpants and a tee shirt in his hands. "There's powder room right over there next to the kitchen."

"Edward, I'm fine in what—"

"Bella, please." I stood and grabbed the clothing from him, knowing he wasn't going to take no for an answer by any means.

While I was changing in the bathroom I began losing my focus. The shirt smelled like him… that leathery, sun kissed, grassy scent that was always most pungent after a long hunt. It enveloped me and I stood there for well-longer than I should have simply smelling his shirt. I was being ridiculous.

Once I returned to the living room I found Edward sitting in my previous spot solemnly. His legs were at ninety degree angles in front of him with his forearms resting along his knees as his hands clasped together tightly. I shuffled a bit and our eyes met as he stood.

"No. Sit." I commanded. Edward sat back down and I walked towards him, standing opposite him, with the coffee table between us. I took a few deep breaths and let the words fly from my lips, "I want you to leave."

His face contorted in anger and he stood. "What do you mean?"

"I can't live like this. I can't be with Jake while you are here living around the corner trying to play best friends. I'm not strong enough." He ran a frustrated hand through his hair while I quickly swiped away the angry tears that were pricking my eyes. "I can't be friends with you, Edward. There's too many… feelings."

Before I could move, Edward was beside me clutching my shoulders. "Bella, you were fine yesterday, what happened? Did Jacob do something to you? I'll kill him." His fingers tightened and I shuddered under the pressure, clutching at my shoulders when he finally released them.

"Edward, that's not what I mean." I walked a few paces back and turned to face him again. "I can't be happy when you're always around reminding me of what I can't have."

"I don't understand." He tried to step forward, but gave up when he saw me flinch away.

"Don't you see?" I shouted rather abruptly. "It's your fault! Jake and I were fine until you had to come along and ruin everything."

"Really, Isabella? Were you really happy?" He moved toward me before I could back away. "Because I'm thinking, if you and Jake were really genuinely happy then me returning wouldn't change a thing."

"No, Edward, no! Do you honestly think I would just welcome you with open arms and sing a happy little song, and we would go on our marry way and be together forever… or until I was too old and crotchety to live anymore? You left. I had to get on with my life, and that meant Jake. Then you had to come back and remind me of everything I lost, and it's not fair! It's not FUCKING fair!" I collapsed onto the couch sobbing. "All I want is to make Jake happy, but I don't know how to be happy myself. I feel like I'm lying to his face every time I hug him or kiss him… He told me he loved me before he left today and I nodded. All I could do was nod. It's not normal." I tried to cover my face, but Edward was kneeling before me prying my hands from my face despite my protests.

"Bella." He sighed, pressing his forehead against my and holding onto my wrists as I tried to pry myself from his grasp. "Bella, stop moving around and let me speak." I stopped and he let go of my wrists, lifting a hand and resting it on my cheek while his thumb wiped my tear stained cheeks."I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? Ruining my life?" He let go of me and sat back on his heels. His head sunk lower as if I had kicked him and I immediately regretted my comment. "No, Edward, I didn't mean that." I tried to pull his face upwards so I could see what he was thinking, but it wouldn't move. "Edward. I'm sorry. It's not your fault, it's me."

"No. You're right." He lifted his head as I held it in my hands. I hurt him. I shouldn't care, because that was what I came here for. "I was being selfish when I came back."

For a while we just stayed. I was sitting; he was kneeling in front of me. We didn't speak, we didn't touch, we just stayed. Thinking.

What seemed like hours later Edward spoke up, "Bella. I just can't leave."

"I don't want you to." I gave in.

He reached up and lifted his weight off of his heels and grabbed my face again bringing his face so dangerously close the our lips whispered against each other. I could tell the proximity was hurting him as my fingers ran over strained veins in across his neck.

My mind kept repeating the same mantra, "Don't kiss him, don't kiss him, whatever you do don't kiss him." Which quickly turned to, "Kiss him but nothing else, kiss him but nothing else."

Before I could hold it back I moaned, "Edward please." And my lips were against his in a crushing symphony. A guttural moan escaped from his throat as my tongue ran across his bottom lip, and he quickly opened his mouth giving me access. Then something strange happened.

It was like being blackout drunk, but without the alcohol to induce it, before I could even register what was happening, I was tearing Edward's shirt from his chest and running my hands across the contours of his torso while one of his hands gently tugged at my bra, releasing my chest from its confined state, just in time for his other hand to grasp my exposed breast.

I was preparing myself to push him away from me, when he gently rolled one of my nipples, causing all coherent thought to leave my body as my head rolled backwards on my neck. Edward seemed pleased with the sight and continued the motion, heating my core with every flick of his finger.

"Edward." I sighed as he hoisted himself off of his knees, laying me on the couch for better access.

"Bella, may I take off your shirt?" I almost laughed out loud at his sense of propriety, but voted on simply nodding and replying, "It's your shirt remember?"

He chuckled so deeply that I could almost feel it rumble in my belly as the sound caressed my ears and heated my core. "Then I guess that means I get it back." He slowly dragged the fabric from my body and tossed the shirt to the side gazing hungrily at my exposed breasts, before turning his attention back to me.

His eyes were black with lust, just as mine would have been if they were subject to mood change like his were. "I guess that means I'm going to take these back too." Before I could react he ripped the sweatpants from my body, unknowingly releasing my panties as well.

I gasped as the cool air hit the heated space where my legs met. "Oh my god!" I cried as he quickly ducked his head and licked along each lip before penetrating the space and lapping against the walls. One of my hands grasped and beat against the back of the couch while the fingers of my other hand twirled their way into his hair in an attempt to create more friction.

"Bella!" He gasped as he jerked his head back and contorted his face.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I cried, crawling down towards him. "Did I do something wrong?"

He stayed stone still for a moment before bashfully raising his head. "Of course not. You didn't do anything wrong… I just."

"What?" I questioned.

"I didn't anticipate how I would react to…" He couldn't seem to form the words, so he coughed a few times and tried again before giving up.

"Edward, tell me what I did. Please." I almost cried, feeling a bit embarrassed of myself for acting the way I had… grabbing his head and grinding against his face, like some kind of animal.

"I came in my pants." He blurted out.

"You what?" I nearly shouted.

"You heard me." He groaned, rolling on his side while I lightly scratched his head, trying to comfort him while holding in my giggles. Apparently, they, like his bodily fluids, could not be contained. "Are you laughing at me?" He muffled from the couch seams.

"Edward… it's hilarious." He lifted his head, a look of embarrassed disbelief clouding his face. "You're a vampire… you're supposed to be some kind of Lestat, seducing me and making me scream… but instead, you jizzed yourself halfway through third base." I started laughing again and he sat up, straddling me shouting accusations before he began tickling me ferociously.

"There. That'll teach you to laugh at a vampire!" He ended with a cheesy hiss, bearing his teeth and lunging for my neck, ravishing me until my giggles turned to moans once again.

I awoke in my room in Charlie's house, under the strange bed linens the covered my old full-sized bed with a massive headache. A pounding sensation radiated behind my eyes and it took everything in me not to think about the ridiculous dream I had just had. Was it a memory, or was it just a dream.

I leaned over to my bedside table and opened the small drawer, pulling out the bottle of Advil I had stashed there upon my arrival. I popped three little capsules and waited the thirty minutes for the pain to wear off before calling Alice, the one person I knew could answer this question.

"Yes, Bella."

"Hey Al, I had the strangest—"

"No, I mean, Yes is the answer to your question. You're going to ask me if you were having an affair with Edward and the answer is yes." My heart plummeted. How could I, of all people do something so… skanky, whorish, disgusting, disrespectful, the list goes on. "But you have to remember, Bella, you had absolutely no control over this."

"How the Hell could I have no control? This is my life and I made my own choices and one of those choices was to cheat on the best guy I have ever met with one of the worst."

"Bella, that is hardly fair, you know Edward is nowhere near the worst man you have met; and as for Jacob… well Bella, there's more to the story than you think. You just have to remember."

"Why can't you people just tell me? Every time I am blindsided by something I remember a little piece. So lay it on me Alice! I'm all ears!" I screeched through the receiver as Alice sighed heavily from the other end.

"You are being hysterical."

"I'm not sure how else to be right now."

"I think you should stay in Forks for a little while longer. Consider it like a trip to a spa resort. Stay there for a week or two and don't come back until you have a more pleasant attitude." Alice meant well, but I could sense her frustration with me as she spat out the last few words.

"I'm sorry, Alice."

"Apology accepted. Now why don't you go for a little walk in the woods? I have this strange feeling something good will happen." I could almost see her little smirk.

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