A/N: Dedicated to Timewatch, who provided the one-word prompt from which this chapter gets its name. From Shaak Ti's POV. Hope I did good on this! Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I find a remarkable lack of ownage of the following characters.
I have never been so confused.
I used to know what I stood for.
Peace.
Tranquility.
Steadfast and unshaken.
Nothing could move me.
Not even a mountain.
And, then…
He decided to enter the picture.
And, suddenly, my balance was thrown into chaos.
The Order began to lose its allure.
The Republic began to lose its majesty.
My very morals began to fade.
Suddenly, all I can think about is him.
Why have I achieved perfection, a harmony with the Force…
Only to have it serve me this challenge?
This challenge I fear I am rapidly losing.
And, what's worse, I don't care.
I don't care that I'm losing.
I want to lose.
I bury my montrals in my white palms, and dig the heels of my hands into my frustrated eyes.
In my wildest dreams, I never imagined my mind would battle my heart.
A/N: Just a question--do these chapters seem repetitive? There's only so many aspects of a tortured relationship you can explore, but I'm afraid this might get boring. Input?