"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Hate and love have the nasty habit of feeding off one another. One could muster up all the hate in the world for the person they love and in the end it still isn't enough. What the heart wants will never be silenced, it will continue nagging until the person finally gives in. Fighting it is what makes the whole process so difficult. Some will tell you that it is impossible to hate someone that you love, and love someone that you hate, but that is far from true. They bring out such fire and spirit that all you can do is love them, despite the hate that rages inside of you. The funny thing about these people is that they know all the right buttons to push and they push them frequently. Perhaps it's how they show their affection, because they can't help but be afraid of what this love might do to them.

Nathan was growing comfortable being around Haley. A month had gone by and in reality it felt like much longer. There were countless fights over petty things, but yet there were moments so raw and passionate that Nathan couldn't help but be surprised. Truthfully, they hadn't been physical with one another since the date, but the conversations they were having made Nathan realize why Haley was his lifesaver. She was such a special woman and Nathan loved her. Loving someone seems so easy, but yet it causes so many problems. Sure, we all want to be able to say those three little words, but the courage it takes could bring a man to his knees. Nathan wasn't sure he would ever get the courage.

It was another boring Friday and Nathan was doing his usual laying around. Haley was at work and apparently she had a "date" afterward. Jealously was something Nathan never conveyed well and the very fact that his Haley was out with some prick made for a very broody night. "God, I am freakin' acting like Lucas." He muttered to himself, throwing the remote on the table in anger. Why was she messing with his head? They had such great times together and she decides to go out on a date. He was sure that he would go into cardiac arrest if she brought him home.

He knew that he couldn't do it anymore. Playing around the fact that he was so desperately in love with her was becoming ridiculous. Nathan knew what he wanted, he had it all perfectly planned out in his mind, but he wasn't sure Haley wanted it anymore. He slammed his eyes shut and breathed in deeply. The liquor was beginning to cloud his thoughts and for a moment he felt relaxed. But things have a habit of going bad. A giggle could be heard from outside the door and Nathan immediately knew it was Haley.

Nathan stood up and walked over to the door, pressing his ear against it. He made a face of disgust when he heard them talking, it was grotesque. "Well, I had a really nice time." Haley said politely. God, don't kiss her, Nathan thought to himself. "I really have to get - " Nathan knew that the prick had kissed her and he groaned outwardly, loud enough for the people outside to hear. "Oh my God!" Haley replied exasperated. "Um, I will call you tomorrow."
It all happened so fast, Nathan didn't even have to react. The door swung up, knocking him right it the nose and on his ass. "Shit!" He yelled, trying to stop the blood from pouring out. "Dammit Haley."

"Oh, are you okay?" She sat down next to him, examining his face carefully. "I am so sorry!"
He scoffed, standing up off the ground and stomping into the kitchen. "I'm sure you are." Haley gaped at him, he was obviously jealous. "You couldn't possibly know that I was standing right by the door."

"Well, I did know." She admitted with a sly smile. "I didn't mean to hurt you though, but what the hell do you think you were doing?"

Nathan blinked. He was bleeding and feeling queasy and she wanted to argue? "What was I doing? Hm, well I was listening to you and your date."

"Perv." Haley muttered, sitting up on the counter. "Get over here and let me take a look at your nose. If it's broken I gotta take you to the hospital." He sighed and stood in front of her, placing his hands on her hips for support. "Looks okay to me."

He rolled his eyes and pulled away from her as fast as possible. "I'm going to bed."
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Haley didn't even have a moment to respond, which was probably for the better, he sure was pissed. She wasn't an idiot, Nathan was jealous and she loved it. It was about time he started to realize that he had to fight for her, that she wasn't just going to be there when he was feeling horny and lonely. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she stormed into her bathroom, all she wanted to do was relax and get her mind off of Nathan. She lit a few candles and then slipped into the warm water. Haley took a sip of her wine and closed her eyes, taking in the quiet.

Nathan had other plans. He barged into the bathroom, not really caring what Haley was doing. She shrieked and desperately tried to hide behind the mountain of bubbles. Nathan couldn't help but laugh, "Please, it's not like I don't know what you look like."
"Asshole." Haley muttered, again taking a long sip of her wine. "Do you mind?"

He shook his head and shut the door. "No, I don't. I think we need to talk."

"Can't it wait?" She questioned. Haley couldn't help but notice how sexy Nathan looked. His flannel pajama bottoms hung loosely off his hips, and dear God he was shirtless. "I - so what do you want?"

"I don't want you to see that guy anymore." He stated matter of factly. Haley laughed out right, who the hell did he think he was? Hot or not; Nathan was not about to start dictating her life. "He is just not right for you, Hales."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Right, well until the person who is right for me decides to pull his head out of his head ass and actually do something, that is what I am stuck with." She could see the apprehension is face. The insecurity of going into a serious relationship, but she didn't care. "Is that all you wanted? Because I really just want to enjoy my bath."

"Yeah, well I guess it is." Nathan muttered, embarrassed by how Haley called him out on his faults. "Did you have fun?"

She shrugged. "Not really. He was kind of a jerk." Haley was surprised by Nathan's reaction. He didn't say anything witty or do that stupid ass smirk, he just nodded. "Hey, do you want to join me?"

"Wha - what?" He croaked out, his mouth going dry. "Woman, how many glasses have you had?"

Haley giggled and made room for Nathan. She wasn't sure what was guiding her. It was as if everything in her brain was being run by the sheer fact that Nathan looked hot as hell. At first he seemed a bit shy, which was not the Nathan she knew, but then he warmed up. Haley watched intently as he removed those pants that hung so loosely to his hips, and then his boxers. She remembered it was like to first seem him, how nervous and scared she was, but now Haley didn't care. "You better share that wine with me."

"Of course." Haley sat as she felt his hands run up and down her legs. "When are you going to fess up to the fact that you were jealous?"
Nathan looked at her in mock horror. It was obvious that Nathan Scott did not get jealous. "Woman, you know that I do not get jealous."

"Whatever you say." She replied playfully. Wait till Brooke hears about this latest escapade. Haley hated admitted that she was a bit thankful for what Brooke did. Having Nathan around was exactly what she needed. "Can I ask you a question?" Nathan nodded, taking a long gulp of her wine. "Why were you so mean to me back then? Could you really not stand me that much?"

He ran a hand through his hand in frustration. "I never hated you." Nathan admitted softly. "I guess - I don't even know, really. You were the first girl I ever met who didn't put up with the bull shit, you know? I guess I was so mean to you because I hated that you had such happiness. Like, it was always inside of you and I felt that you had everything. God, when you took me to meet your family it was the best day of my life because they actually cared and I felt like I belonged somewhere. I hated you for what you had, but I needed you because of it." Nathan breathed in deeply, he hated remembering the night. "The moment I knew I needed you was when - well you remember..."

His lungs were on fire, but Nathan still ran. There was no way he was going to stay there and let his dad beat the hell out of him, no way. All because of a stupid basketball game, Nathan nearly ended up in the hospital. His dad was drunk as hell because Deb was off screwing some guy and Nathan was caught in the line of fire. He knew he shouldn't have egged Dan on, but Nathan couldn't help it. Dan was a pathetic excuse for a man and Nathan hated him for it.

Haley was the first person Nathan thought of when his dad began to hit him. The moment his dad stepped back, Nathan ran. She was the only person who would understand this, who wouldn't have pity on him, but actually help him. Rain poured down heavily on his tired body, but he had to make it. A flash of lighting lit up the whole sky and Nathan breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her house. Thankfully the light in her window was on and she was awake, because it was going to be a long night. He didn't even need to throw a rock because she saw him standing there. A moment later Haley was standing out in the rain, questioning him. "Can we go inside first?"

"Of course!" Haley said quickly. When the reached her bedroom she grabbed a few towels and handed them to him. Haley sat on the edge of her bed, watching him intently. "What happened?"

It took all the strength he had to hold back the tears, but it was just to powerful. A heart wrenching sob escaped his lips and he told her. "I hate him, Hales. He was so angry tonight and I didn't even do anything. God, I hate being blamed for the fact that my mom is a slut and she is cheating on him. I hate that he uses basketball as a way to control me, because now I can't even enjoy the game. I hate that when he drinks I have to worry about whether or not his gonna punch me in the face." Haley gasped. "I don't even know what to do anymore."

"Why don't you tell someone?" She asked, running a hand tenderly over his bruised face. "Nathan, I am sure if I told someone they could help you."

He shook his head in disagreement. Telling would only cause for more embarrassment. Nathan knew that people looked up to him. He seemed to have it all, and if word got out that his Dad was a drunk bastard - well it wouldn't be good. "No. Hales, promise me you won't tell anyone." Nathan could tell that she did not agreement, but there was no way she would break his trust. "I don't think I can run back home, do you think I could just sleep here?"

"I was going to make you stay away." Haley whispered, giving him a smile. "Don't let him hurt you anymore." She placed a soft kiss on his forehead and then they laid in her bed silently.

Sleep was not coming easy and Nathan couldn't shake all the questions running through his brain. "Hales." He whispered into the darkness, grasping her hand tightly. "I'm afraid."

"Of Dan?" She asked, snuggling up closer to him.

Nathan shook his head. "No, I am more afraid of becoming him. Like, I dunno - I feel that I should never find a girl because I don't want to hurt her. Like when I become a father, I don't want to be my dad, Hales."

"Oh, Nathan." Haley murmured. "You don't ever need to worry about that. Not only are you a great man, but one day you are going to be a great father. You are going to have a wonderful life and a beautiful wife and everything will be perfect. Want to know how I know that? It's because you deserve it. Nathan, you have the chance to do something great in this world."

"How can you say that about me?" He asked weakly. "I am just a normal guy."

Even through the darkness Nathan could see her infectious smile. "That's why you are going to do great things."
Haley brushed the tear that slid down her cheek at the memory. Even then she knew he was such a wonderful man, but Haley always wondered why he could never see it. They both said nothing, but sat in silence. "The water is cold..."

"Yeah, I guess we gotta get out." Nathan grabbed the towel that was hanging and wrapped it around his waist tightly. "Thanks for listening." Haley was stunned that he was able to just get up and leave. She blamed the fact that he was remembering how awful his father was.
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"Holy shit!" Brooke squealed with happiness. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" Haley now realized why she kept her secret about what went on between Nathan because of the sheer fact that Brooke was crazy. It really wasn't a big deal. All she did was ask if he would join her in the nice, relaxing bath. Nothing really strange about that. Brooke, of course, disagreed and rambled on about how important this was in their relationship. "You guys are seriously so close to fuc-"

"Do not finish that sentence." Haley scolded, not wanting to think about it. "We are so not close to that." There was no use denying that they were sexually attracted to one another, but the rest of it was just messy. He was constantly being hot and cold, wanting her and then leaving her high and dry. It was just like freakin high school all over again. "How is California treating you?"

Brooke giggled. "It is fucking amazing." Haley rolled her eyes. She couldn't help but be a little bit jealous that her friend was having the time of her life, while she was suffering with Scrooge. "I am so tan and Lucas looks like walking sex."

"I'm sure." Haley muttered angrily. "Anyway, Nathan is going to be home soon and I really need to go and I don't know - do something."

"You are going to go and whore yourself up so that you two can have wild, hot, animalistic sex?" Haley choked on the cupcake that she was currently eating. "Haley, are you okay?"

She coughed loudly into the phone. "I'm fine. I just - I need to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Why did everyone insist on making it seem that Nathan was perfect for her? It was painfully obvious that he wasn't. Their relationship was way to dysfunctional and Haley knew that noting serious would work between them. Maybe being friends with benefits? No, that was what got her in this damn situation in the first place. Haley hated admitting that she was never going to escape Nathan, that he was always going to be in her life.

There was a time when Haley thought that he was going to be in her life forever and it wasn't because he wanted it.

Haley sat on her bathroom counter top nervously, trying not to think it was true. She was just a little bit late, it was no big deal. God, why did she have to be so stupid? Her first time with Nathan and he was drunk and stupidly forget protection. Haley wasn't going to blame herself for this one, no way in hell. Being how nervous she was, there was no way she could have possibly thought of the word "condom." Maybe she wasn't? She didn't even take a test yet, but Haley didn't want to do anything without Nathan. Haley groaned, she knew he was going freak out.

With a shaky hand, Haley dialed his number. "Hey, can you come over? I really need to talk to you. Yeah, it's really important. Okay bye." It felt like an eternity, but after ten minutes there he was standing in her bathroom. Nathan looked baffled by her hysterical crying, but he coolly tried to find out what was the better.

"Hales, what is going on?" He asked rubbing her back. Haley didn't say anything but clung to him tighter, trying to hide from the fear that she couldn't come to terms with. "Okay you are kind of freaking me out. What's wrong?"

"Nathan you are going to be so mad." Haley cried, wiping her nose. "I - I didn't mean for it to happen, it was just - I - oh God." He looked at her strangely, not sure what she was talking about. "Nathan, I'm - well I think that I am - I'm not so sure yet, but I think - gosh - okay I think that I am pregnant."

He said nothing for a good two minutes, which only proved to Haley that her theory on his reaction was dead on. "What?" His tone was harsh and cold.

"What the fuck are you talking about Haley?"

"You heard me. I think I am pregnant, actually I am about 99.9 sure that I am!" She fired back, pulling away from his grasp. "I didn't take the test yet because I wanted to do this with you."

Nathan rolled his eyes and turned away from him. "You are so fucking stupid."

"Excuse me?" Haley replied hotly. "I'm stupid? Right, well you were the drunk asshole who fucking took advantage of me and then told me it actually meant something. Forgive me."

"God, don't give me your sarcastic bull shit right now." He yelled back. "I just can't believe that you aren't on the pill or anything. Do you pride yourself on being a dumb ass Haley?"

Tears streamed down her pale face, but she was not going to let him win. It takes two to tango buddy. "Don't be like this. Let me take the test and then we can scream at one another until we both pass out from exhaustion." She slammed the door in his face. The minutes seem to drag on in a slow, painful fashion, but then finally the timer went off and it was time. She gulped when she saw the results. Negative. Haley shakily opened the door and looked at Nathan intently. "Congratulations, you aren't going to be a father."

"But, you - you said?" Nathan stuttered. "Well, I guess this is good huh."

Haley laughed in spite of herself. "Are you joking? Now that I know how you would act if I really was pregnant. I can't believe you."

"I was scared Hales." Nathan defended quietly. She scoffed, did he really think that he could defend himself? "What did you really expect me to say?"

"You are such a sick son of a bitch!" Haley screamed, picking up her jewelry box and throwing it toward him."

Nathan tucked and it crashed into the wall, spilling everything she owned in it, but Haley didn't care. It showed that the relationship between her and Nathan was pointless because he wasn't going to be there for her. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

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"Leave." Haley demanded, pointing to her door. "I don't ever want to speak to you again."