Notes: I've wanted to do something like this forever, but while it was originally going to be like the "Nintendogs" thing in the Memoirs section, I decided to just add it to the Ownership category to 1) work more on the plotline of the story (which I doubt will happen in this chapter), and 2) add more stupidity. A lot of you probably won't get these jokes, but we'll see. I probably can't keep the style the same, so I won't even try. The only thing they'll have in common is the humor.
It also occured to me that if any character gets an accent, the top two should be Sasuke and Lee. Sasuke because I'm still trying to figure out where "usuratonkachi" comes from, and Lee, because he'd be British or something. Then a drunken sailor.
edit: added a little more stupidity in the second part.
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Ownership: Justice for 411
"I've been meaning to ask you this, but why is it that your desk is so much neater than Tsunade's was?"
Naruto didn't bother to look up from his paperwork. "Oh, no reason. I just found a better way to do these things than her."
Of course, this casual look was ruined by Sakura entering and adding her own version of the statement.
"What he means," she said as she dumped a new stack of paperwork on the desk with a ramen bowl on top, "is that he has another room carrying all the papers. And it's even worse than Tsunade's collection, because she had done only the minimum since announcing her retirement."
"Exactly how much paperwork are we talking about?"
Naruto looked up and grinned. "Oh how about... it's over nine thousand!!"
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"She didn't hit me so hard for that..." Naruto whined as he contined to sign papers on the desk.
Now his back, face, and ass hurt... and it wasn't even for the proper reasons! Sakura was a pain in the ass, literally.
(Not that he was gay or anything. No offense to anyone, but he didn't think that he would ever meet the right guy for that.)
Sasuke sipped his tea on the side, stealing some of the gyouza on his plate. "Yes she did. You deserved it." A pause. "Besides, it's not like your body can't handle it."
A flipped finger in his direction.
"Not interested."
"Me neither. And it's 'take it'. I hope my body can take it." Naruto thumped his head on the desk. "Why do I have to do all of this paperwork? It seems like they just get heavier and heavier... like look at this! This is not even an ANBU report and it's like a thousand pages long! Why do they do this to mee... T-T"
Sasuke refused to dignify that with a response, and began to move on to dessert, eating some the green tea youkan on the plate (because it's not that sweet). Naruto continued to rant anyway.
"Why is everything so heavy? Is there some sort of problem with the Earth's gravitational pull or something?"
Sasuke kicked him off the chair, and it and the papers went flying.
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"YOU ATE ALL OF MY LUNCH!! NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?"
Sasuke was unflapped by Naruto's ranting and ROFSing. "You had saimin."
Naruto blinked. "The what?"
"Saimin."
"Ramen. I had ramen."
"Whatever. Same thing."
"n00b."
"Lolo-brain. It's not like I even eat that stuff."
"That's why you're a n00b, believe it."
"And you're stupid."
And it degenerated from there. Until...
" JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, BOTH OF YOU!"
And so Sakura kicked them both out of the Hokage's tower.
"So... what do we eat?"
"I ate already."
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"You say you want yakiniku for lunch and then the first thing you eat is sashimi and taegu? How is that yakiniku?"
"It's all-you-can-eat! Besides, I'll eat the other stuff too!"
"What about the vegetables?"
"... ＞＿＜"
"That's not an answer."
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"Amaguri?"
"No."
"Dorayaki?"
"Of course not."
"Dango."
"NO."
"Shiruko... wait, no, umm... crepes?"
"No. And that's not even Japanese."
"Wh... uh, what about nishime, then?"
"If there's no sugar added."
"Not even ama-ebi?"
"NARUTO. I told you, I don't like sweet things. Get through your thick head already."
"Okinawan sweet potato?"
"Just shut up and let me eat the green tea mochi."
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Reference-Related Notes and other Pointless Stuff
0. The title is because I just wanted to keep the original title somehow.
1. I've been seeing looking at too much PW:AA stuff recently. Before you ask me what that has to do with THAT quote, just... look around. It's been done at least three times.
2. The second quote I'm not sure if I got correct. I was looking for a script of it, but I found the original, not what the movie actually had.
3. I don't even find this funny, but I thought it would work. For the hell of it, Sasuke'd be from Pearl City.
4. Nothing to do with quotes and everything to do with korean yakiniku. I love korean yakiniku, btw. And anyplace that serves kimchee fried rice. Sasuke probably couldn't handle spicy food, I'm guessing... not that that has to do with anything.
5. More food. Not so much humor, just food. I think Okinawan sweet potato is called satsuma-imo or something (after the place)? I forget... Anyway, the point is that Japanese sweets tend to not be sweet at all, which makes me wonder what Sasuke is referring to when he says he doesn't like sweet stuff. I've had a green tea mochi that wasn't really sweet at all, so I think he would eat that...