Whoa, I never meant to brag

But I got him where I want him now

Whoa, it was never my intention to brag

To steal it all away from you now

But God does it feel so good

'Cause I got him where I want him now

And if you could then you know you would

'Cause God it just feels so...

It just feels so good

"Party. At Ashley's tonight," Miley reads from her e-mails. "No doubt the latest member of the popular group will be in attendance."

I sigh. Oliver seems to be attached to Amber. We haven't spoken since the incident at the mall - which was two weeks ago - , but that isn't for want of trying. I've tried to speak to him at school, but he's never alone. Amber seems to be surgically joined to him, by the arm. Or the face.

"I was thinking about going..." Miley admits casually, twirling around on her computer chair. "Would that be okay?"

I shrug. I can't stop her from doing anything. "Sure. I'll just stay home."

"Actually..." Miley says, dragging the word out. "I was kind of hoping you'd come with me. I don't want to show up alone, and it would be the perfect opportunity to show Oliver that we don't care."

"That's the reason we're not speaking to him Miles," I say. "He thinks that we don't care about him. So I don't think that leading him to believe that we aren't bothered is the best idea."

She sighs, and turns back to the computer. "Still. He's just being stubborn. We do care, and just because he refuses to believe that, doesn't mean it's our problem. It's his."

"Miley..." I sigh, rolling onto my back and staring up at the ceiling.

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaims, staring at the computer screen, her eyes wide.

I sit up. "What?"

"I just got an e-mail from Oliver..." she says, in a weird sing-song voice. "Let's see what it says, shall we?"

Unable to resist temptation, I crawl to the end of the bed, and read over her shoulder.

Miley...

I figured I'd e-mail you before I e-mailed Lilly... because... well, just because. Okay, so there is a reason.

It's easier to write to you than Lilly. Because I feel like the words need to be perfect in order for me to be able to send them to her. I feel like I need to explain exactly why I'm doing this, whereas with you, I don't need to do that as much. I hope that didn't sound as offensive to you as it did to me. I don't want to offend you.

Umm... but yeah. So, back to the actual subject of this e-mail.

I'm sorry. About what I said a few weeks ago. What was it, two weeks? God... this is the longest I've gone not speaking to Lilly.

Sorry. Tracking off again. At this rate, this e-mail will be like, ten pages long, and I still won't have said what I want to say.

So yeah. Sorry. I do think that you and Lilly tried your best, and I do appreciate that. Maybe it was too much to ask; you guys and Amber have never got on well, and I shouldn't have expected you to.

I managed to persuade them to invite you guys to the party tonight, and I hope I'll see you there.

I hope I'll see Lilly there too. It would mean a lot to me... and I've missed her. Try to persuade her?

Anyway... hopefully talk to you again soon.

Oliver

"Wow," Miley says, after she's finished reading.

I read the last few lines, and fell back onto the bed. "Why does he feel the need to explain everything to me?"

"I don't know," Miley shrugs, but there's something about the way she says it. Something that tells me that she has a suspicion.

But I'm not sure I want to know.

"Does that make up your mind? Lilly, you have to come! Please!" Miley begs, and my eyes flick back to the computer screen, where Oliver's e-mail is still staring back at me. It's not that Miley wants me to go. It's that Oliver does.

I nod, and she laughs.

"Yay! Okay, we are going to show Amber, that nobody gets Truscott down," Miley says, snapping her fingers. "So this calls for a visit to the Hannah closet."

I force a smile, and follow her into the closet.

Maybe this party will be okay. The last party we went to started this mess. Maybe this one will finish it.

---

"Where is everyone?" I ask Miley, as we pull up to Ashley's house. "There are like, five cars here."

She shrugs. "Maybe we're early."

"We're not this early. There'd be way more people here by now if we were only just early..." I say, looking around for the cars. Maybe Ashley has a secret car park or something.

Miley gets out of the car, and slams the door shut. I climb over the door, and follow her up the driveway. If this is a trick of some sort...

"Miley! Lilly!" Oliver opens the door, a huge grin on his face. He looks glad to see us. Well, I'd be glad to see us too if I'd spent two weeks with Amber and Ashley. I'd be so glad that I'd finally get to have a conversation about something other than nails and hair.

"Oken, where the hell are all the other people?" Miley asks, her hands on her hips.

Oliver looks at her. "It's a small party. I'm really glad you guys came..."

"I didn't come for you," I snap, still slightly annoyed that he'd rather be with Amber than us. And, obviously, hurt that he was dating Amber, while I was still Lilly: the best friend. "Miley didn't want to come alone."

"Oh..." Oliver says, looking down at his feet. "Look, I don't know if you got my e-mail Lilly, but I really am sorry."

I did get it. I spent about an hour reading it, and re-reading it. And trying to wipe away the traces of tears on my face when I was doing my make-up was torture. "I know. But what you said still hurt. And the fact that you doubted us..."

And also the fact that you're with Amber. And that you kiss her, and hug her, and laugh with her... in front of me. That hurts too. More than anything.

"Well anyway. Come in." Oliver steps back, and lets us walk into the house. It smells like Ashley. Sickly sweet. How can Oliver stand to be here? I'm going to have to go outside every half hour to breathe some fresh air.

I follow Oliver into the living room, Miley right behind. When we walk in, we find Amber, Ashley, Jake, Johnny... and a couple of other kids that I recognise from school. They look up at us, and only Jake smiles.

Oliver walks over to Amber, and sits next to her, snaking a hand around her waist. She leans into him, looking over at me to catch my expression. I keep my face blank, and turn around to Miley.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," I mutter, and she nods. "Is it too late to leave?"

She grimaces and nods. "Uh-huh."

"You guys can come sit near me," Jake says, moving up.

What is this? Some sort of freak ritual? Do we all have to slit our wrists, and mix our blood, so that we become blood siblings? Because I'm already blood siblings with Oliver, and that means that if I mixed my blood with Oliver's, I'd be getting my own blood back.

Yeah, when we were eight, we pricked our fingers with pins, and shoved them together. Stupid, I know. But whatever.

I sit down, and look at the floor. Miley does too.

"Anyway. We were just gonna play a game of Spin the Bottle," Ashley says, holding up an empty mineral water bottle. "Are you guys in?"

Miley nods. "Sure."

Ah. So not a blood ceremony, but something just as bad. Spin the Bottle. Ugh. But if I refuse, then I'll look like a chicken. And I'm not a chicken.

"Fine," I say, letting everyone know that I'm less than happy about it. Oliver looks at me, but I look away. No eye contact.

"Coolie!" Ashley squeals. "Here are the rules. If the bottle lands on you, you cannot chicken out. You must choose either Truth, Dare, Kiss or Pain. Once you have chosen, you have to stick to that one, and cannot change. For Truth, any question may be asked, and you must tell the truth, duh. Dare can be anything, and you gotta do it! If you choose Kiss, you have to spin the bottle, and kiss who it lands on. If it lands on a member of the same sex, you may spin again. Unless you want to kiss them, obviously. And pain... we get to cause you pain. Okay?" She smiles and places the bottle in the middle of the circle. She spins the bottle, and it lands on Johnny. "Okay Johnny, Truth, Dare, Kiss or Pain?"

"Dare," Johnny says, defiantly. Like he thinks it's some big deal that he picks a dare.

Amber grins. "I have the perfect dare. Go to Ashley's next door neighbour, and ask if they have any 'protection'."

Johnny raises his eyebrows. "Is that it?"

"No. You have to go in your underwear," Amber says, the grin on her face almost menacing.

"Okay," Johnny says, and leaves the room, presumably to go and get ready for his dare.

Ashley giggles, and follows him, apparently to make sure that he did it right. I think that she just wants to see Johnny in his underwear.

"While they're gone, we'll continue," Amber says, spinning the bottle.

Don't land on me... don't land on me... don't land on me...

"Oh look. It's landed on Lilly," Amber smirks, and puts her head on Oliver's shoulder. I look away, not wanting to see them together. I see them together enough. "So what'll it be, Lilly?"

If I pick Truth, she'll ask me a humiliating question. Dare, and she'll make me do something really humiliating. Kiss... I'm not kissing anyone in the room. I'd only feel okay with that if there was a one-hundred-percent chance that I'd get to kiss Oliver. But there isn't that chance, so I'm not picking kiss. And pain? She's put me through enough pain as it is. I'm not sure I'll be able to take anymore. "Truth."

"Okay," Amber says, smiling at me innocently from Oliver' shoulder. "Why don't you tell us all exactly what you said to me two weeks ago?"

Say something cool Lilly. Say something cool.

"I would, but I didn't think to write it down," I say, as coolly as possible.

Good one!

She rolls her eyes. "Oh well. You must remember the gist of it. I'll give you a clue: "You can have Oliver. You can kiss him, and hug him, but you won't break me. You're pathetic. You're just a jealous bitch, who has to hurt people because her life sucks. And yeah, you might have Oliver, but I sure wouldn't want to be you. Does that trigger any memories, Lilly?"

A eerie silence follows this, but it's broken by Ashley running into the room in fits of giggles.

"He actually did it! I can't believe - what did I miss?"

I look around the room; at anywhere but at Oliver. I know he's looking at me. I can feel it. I know he's sitting there, wondering what the hell I was talking about when I said that. And I know... I know that he's slowly working it out. Putting everything together.

What to do? Deny? Yes. Deny.

"I'm trying to remember when those words came out of my mouth, but I just can't," I fake, hoping I sound convincing. "Maybe it was just one of your fantasies?"

Amber looks at me like I'm pathetic. "I don't think so. But hey, look."

Stupidly, I look.

She pulls Oliver into a kiss, her hands on his cheeks, his around her waist.

I know I should look away. I know that tears are pricking in my eyes, and that I should look away now if I don't want to be painfully obvious.

Miley puts her hand on my shoulder.

I can't look away. I can't. And I can't stop the tears from filling my eyes.

I HATE HER!

She pulls away, breathing heavily, and turns to me. "Who's the jealous bitch now, Lilly?"

"Oh my God," Miley screams, standing up and walking over to Amber. "Can you please just find a hole to crawl into? And preferably, can you die there? Because the world would be a damn better place if you did. What the hell has Lilly ever done to you? Why are you doing this to her? You know what? I promised her two weeks ago, that I would be nice to you. But I can't be nice anymore. You're a slut. You're a bitch. And everyone hates you. So please, do us all a favour, and kill yourself!"

I can't be here.

I can't breathe.

I need to cry.

A heavy slapping sound echoes around the room.

I don't wait around for the aftermath.

As I leave the house, I hear two voices calling my name. One is Miley. And she's following me.

The other...

The other is Oliver.