:: BROKEN ::

I knew what you were
But then you turned around
Can't find a way to forget you
Don't know what it is that makes me act the way I do
'Cause I'm out of my head
Out of my mind
You've got me falling

I'm falling
Wish I wouldn't be
'Cause I hate the sound when you break me…

/ K'Otic – Falling

I've said too much.

That was always Diana's problem to begin with. She could never resist having the extra word. She didn't stop talking when she should have. And because of that, she often said things that she later learned to regret.

It was a hot summer day in Cenchrea, the hottest in fact, of the entire summer. And being mid-August; probably was about the hottest it would get. The weather --in as much as it could be measured by Salmoneus' Acu-Temp Hermes 500 thermometer-- was a scorching 101 degrees. The thermometer's ingredients were mysterious; it was generally inaccurate and frequently exploded for no reason whatsoever, but this time Diana was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. She'd taken refuge under a shady oak, seeking small respite from the overwhelming heat of the day and was now in a lazy, somewhat contemplative turn of mind. A hammock was slung across two branches and now Diana reclined across it, legs crossed, head thrown back and eyes tightly shut as she dozed peacefully beneath the blessedly thick branches, shielding her from all but the most determined of sunrays. In theory she was supposed to be in weapon training right now, on the never-ending quest to improve her archery skills. But the heat made any physical activity --let alone something as difficult as struggling with a heavy bow-- incredibly difficult. And she knew Ares wouldn't be upset if he found her. Not on a day like this. Oh he might bluster a little --for show-- but he wasn't a complete monster.

Nor is he completely heartless either.

Heartless. Hmm. Now there was a topic she was not eager to get into. The conversation she'd had with Calipso was weighing heavily on her mind. About a week previously, Diana's newest scheme had ended in disaster --as usual-- and the consequences had been severe --also, as usual-- but not severe enough to make her behave. Calipso, intensely confused by Diana's hardheaded --and somewhat suicidal-- urge to continually piss off the God of War, had posed a conundrum. Why, after the many punishments Ares had doled out for provoking his wrath, did Di continue to risk her well-being? If Ares truly did lose his temper and get tired of her games, he might just fry her where she stood. It was a possibility; unlikely perhaps, but nevertheless it had happened to others before and could happen to Di as well. Ares had other priestesses. Diana was one who could be replaced. All it took was for him to lose his temper and forget she wasn't that kind of immortal. The kind that could take a lightning bolt and still walk away from it. And when Ares saw red, he wasn't noted for being particularly considerate or merciful. It only took one time. Then it was all over.

Diana's eyes flew open and she sat up abruptly. What had prompted her to take Cal's question so seriously? She shouldn't have even answered it, but she had said too much. She always did. Her response spilled out of her mouth before she could check her thoughts at the door, and it shocked Calipso, she could tell. Not surprisingly, for it had shocked Diana too. The question had caught the gypsy offguard and because of the unexpected nature of it; instead of passing it off blithely or taking the time to think up a clever lie, she had told the truth. The painful, embarrassing --and deeply hidden until now-- Truth.

She said it was because she wanted to stand out among the others that Ares called into his service. She said it was because she wanted to be special to Ares, because she wanted him to notice her. Because, out of all the times Ares had called her to the carpet for one scheme or another, it was still him alone with her and she had the entire focus of his attention and she knew he wasn't thinking of anyone else in that moment, but her. Just her. The mere fact that his attention was negative was a moot point; the thought of being his sole focus still sent shivers racing down her spine.

It was about then that Diana realized all she had revealed and finally had shut the hell up before she could embarrass herself further. But it was too late. By then Calipso knew the reason for Di's consistent provocations as well as Di did. It was because of jealousy. Jealousy of the time that Ares spent with all his other worshippers, time that Diana didn't want to share because she wanted Ares all for herself.

Yes dammit, she wanted him!

That was the truth Diana would not let herself confess, not even in secret. She hadn't spoken about her feelings for Ares, not in years, not once since she first came to the Temples. She'd admitted them then, but only to Zoltan and only because she had to let them out somewhere and Zoltan was --at the time-- the only one she could trust. She had done her crying and her angsting and then shut it out of her mind, swearing never to speak of that again. And she hadn't. Not once. Not until now.

Diana got up from the hammock, suddenly ill at ease. She knew there was no way that Ares could find out about this --Calipso would never betray her confidence-- but nevertheless, it made her uncomfortable that she confessed such a dark truth after all the pains she'd taken for years to hide it.

And she could never let Ares know the truth of her feelings for him. She knew that letting Ares close to her in such a deep, personal way would destroy her in more ways than one. It was more than just the forbidden nature of their union, or the fact that she and Ares were too different in their moral standards. It was rooted in the very soul of Diana herself. She knew that giving into Ares would be giving him the means to control her. He would seduce her, manipulate her and destroy everything she had always believed in. It was possible that eventually he would love her --in a way-- but in the meantime he would darken her, slowly but surely, until there was nothing left of who she used to be. She would change for love of him. But it'd be a horrible, imprisoning sort of love. Diana knew she couldn't --wouldn't-- allow herself to live like that. She could never let him learn the truth. Even if it meant lying to him for the rest of her life.

"Diana!"

The growling voice was growing marginally louder, moving up the vocal scale with a tone of irritation and Diana realized hazily that the reason was because she was so lost in her thoughts; she hadn't heard it until just now.

"Coming," the gypsy said wearily and dragged herself to the Temple doors, just in time to come to an abrupt stop as a black-leathered barrier with folded arms and raised eyebrows, glared at her sullenly from the doorframe. Diana's thoughts were still ranging in the area of the GOW and it caused her to blush upon seeing him.

Hello Gorgeous!

Luckily for her, Ares rarely noticed anything when he was in a sour mood and this appeared to be one of those times. But then again, Tartarus wasn't frozen over yet –or if it was, they weren't sharing the weather with the rest of Greece-- so naturally he was pissed off.

"Milord?" Di prompted in a questioning, 'what have I done this time?' tone. She didn't recall authorizing any pranks on the GOW recently, but the black look indicated something was wrong and some of her pranks did tend to have far-reaching consequences. Carefully, Diana arranged her expression into 'It wasn't me, honest!', ready for a preemptive strike.

"My throne room, now!"

The remark did not leave room for argument. And he didn't get one either. Diana meekly bobbed her head in a subservient fashion and Ares unbent enough to move from the doorframe so Diana could pass through. He stomped off, leaving no choice but for the gypsy to follow and so Diana did, lifting her voluminous skirts as she ran, trying to match Ares' swift, large-booted strides. Other priestesses who passed them in the halls tossed Diana sympathetic looks, but moved quickly out of the way, knowing better than to tempt a second look from Ares when he was in punishing mode. Diana concentrated on trying to remember what she had done wrong this time, but try as she might, she couldn't remember a single thing which might have offended Ares. She followed, not so much in deference as out of curiosity to discover what it was she actually did.

Ares, predictably, arrived first and held the door open for Diana, a move which the gypsy greeted with surprise. Somehow, in the midst of Ares' anger, she wasn't expecting such a kind, old-fashioned gesture. She thanked him graciously --if slightly mocking, for old habits died hard-- and stepped inside Ares' throne room, her 'home away from home'. If she only had a dinar for every time she'd been called to the carpet in here, she'd been richer than Midas. The room was deliberately dark, both from its lack of windows and the menacing décor that Ares had established in all the rooms of his Temple. This room was undoubtedly the darkest however. From the rich black silk hanging on the walls, to the velvet and fur trimmed throne of Ares, it reigned supreme as a tribute to War in all his glory. A helmeted skull leered down from the top of the throne at Diana while she stood there; looking so smug and indolent, it made her want to throw her gavel at it. She never dared follow through. Ares was powerfully jealous over his throne, carved intricately from the bones of warriors who had died proclaiming his name. It was the only gift he had ever received that he truly cared about. And while Diana had no fear of taunting the War God behind his back, she didn't dare do it while he was standing right there, watching her so intensely. After all he might decide to fry--er, why was he watching her, um—so intensely? His gaze was riveted on her and he hadn't said a single word since she walked into the room. That was so unusual that Diana spoke first out of sheer nervousness.

"Uh, you uh, wanted to see me Milord?"

"Yes."

Ares stopped there, saying nothing more. Diana stared at him with a mixture of confusion and deep wariness. Just why was he being so evasive? Normally he was a lot more forthright than this, too angry to mince words over Diana's many sins. The frictionful conferences between the two of them were old, well-worn paths. He'd shout at her for an hour, throw some fireworks, ignore all protests of innocence and pleas for mercy and dole out punishments like water until she swore never to do it again. It was a frequently tested, time-honored system between them. And Diana didn't like it when he changed things up. It always meant he'd been thinking about ways to deal with her. That was a bad sign. It left open the possibility that this time, there might be frying involved.

But this was even scarier. Ares was keeping his temper. He wasn't acting mad at all. And that had Di scared so bad her knees were shaking. She couldn't even imagine what she might have done so wrong that it put Ares past anger and into cold silence. If he was keeping his temper, she was in real danger, not of being fried, but of something far, far worse. What the hell had she done?

And why don't I remember it? Oh Gods, if only he'd say something.

But Ares never said anything. He just looked at Diana, with a strange golden light in his eyes that Diana had never seen before. That, combined with the fact that he wasn't saying anything, had Di more nervous than she had ever been around him before.

"My Lord, surely you can give me some clue as to why you summoned me," she prompted, an edge of desperation making its way into her voice. "I really have no clue what I've done to deserve this—er, correctional conference."

"Don't you?"

It was phrased as a question, but it didn't sound like one. Rather, it sounded like a challenge.

Diana lifted a raven brow, thoroughly confused. She didn't understand why Ares was toying with her like this. Normally he just got on with things and kept their conferences short and to the point. But this time, he seemed determined to play the waiting game and make her guess the outcome of their little standoff. Why was he doing this? Was the mind game just part of her punishment? Was he just trying to psych her out? Was it equal treatment for all the times she had toyed with him?

"No, I don't," she said impatiently, too irritated to pretend politeness. "Ares, what is it exactly that you want with me?"

'What I want," Ares countered quietly. If Diana wasn't so frustrated, she might have recognized the hidden warning in his silky tone.

"Yes Ares! You summoned me, not the other way around. Now tell me what you want."

"Diana, it doesn't take any great stretch of imagination to guess what I want from you."

Diana looked at him sharply. There were any number of ways she could take a remark like that and none of them were good. She searched Ares' face for answers, but there was nothing in his smooth expression to indicate what he was thinking. She defensively stepped back and her hand edged nearer to her sword.

"I really don't know what you mean, My Lord," she spoke formally, trying to keep an emotional gap between them. The edges of Ares mouth curled up. He moved closer to Diana, matching her retreat step for step, like a hunter stalking his prey.

"Don't you?' he asked again, his tone still deceptively soft. Diana stiffened and abruptly changed strategies. She stopped backing away and stood her ground. Predator or not, she was not going to let Ares back her into a corner. She folded her arms defiantly over the laces of her bodice and stared him down.

"Don't play games with me, Ares. If you have something to say, then just say it!"

Ares locked gazes with her, emerald warring with obsidian black, but Diana's stare never wavered. She could outstare a cat when she put her mind to it. Ultimately, it was Ares who ended the staredown by altering the direction of his gaze. Not that this was a victory for Diana, because he didn't just alter his look; but boldly slid it down her body instead. It was such a possessive gesture that it was terribly offensive as well. He subjected her to a frank appraisal that would have gotten anyone else who tried it slapped—and probably worse. Diana gasped and might have attempted something anyway, if Ares hadn't held up a cautionary finger.

"I wonder," he said musingly, as if to himself. "—I wonder who it was that dyed my newest pair of pants orange and strung them up behind Apollo's hang-glider?"

Diana froze, the 'oh' she was about to emit dying on her lips. So this was all about one of her pranks? Well why didn't he just say so, instead of weirding her out like that? For a moment, he'd had her really… worried.

"I couldn't imagine, My Lord," she said promptly, not about to admit guilt even if she was in the throes of relief. "Someone with a death wish, perhaps?"

"Perhaps," Ares echoed, staring at her intently. "Or perhaps, someone who just wanted my attention."

Diana froze again, her mind racing wildly. Her heart was beating so loud she could hear each individual thump. No. No, that was impossible. Cal would never… There was no way he could possibly know.

Just a lucky guess is all. Keep your cool, Di. He's just trying to rattle you. You cannot let him see you sweat.

"I doubt that, My Lord. If they wanted your attention, surely they would seek a favorable way of getting it."

"Yes," Ares said, abruptly breaking the moment. He moved back and settled into his throne, propping a leg over the armrest. He no longer stared the gypsy down, but lounged instead, as if bored with the whole cat and mouse game. Diana was relieved. She hadn't liked Ares fixating on her like that. It was too personal and made the moment awkward. She didn't think she could deal with being this close to Ares if he was going to grow all soft and intense like this. Not after all those old feelings had been stirred up again.

"My Lord, are you saying you believe I had something to do with the incident with Apollo?"

"Diana, I have no doubt you had everything to do with the incident with Apollo! That is not the question here. The real question is, why did you do it?"

Ah ha! There it was again! Nothing solid that Diana could point to, but there was definitely something lurking below the surface of everything he said. Something which hit a little too close to home, even though Di knew he had to be guessing. She concentrated on making her face --and her thoughts-- perfectly blank.

"I assure you, My Lord, I haven't the faintest idea what you are talking about."

"Indeed?" Ares said, his voice quiet. There was silence again, a long silence, before he continued.

"So be it, Diana. If you won't tell me why you felt like being petty and destructive, then there is really nothing more I can say, is there?"

He rose from his throne and sighed wearily as if he was tired. Diana suddenly felt childish. Damn him! Why did he have to take the fun out of everything? She could deal with --even be amused by-- his anger, rage, annoyance or scoldings. But this, this lethargic calmness of his, was really getting to her. What was the point of bugging Ares if he wasn't going to have a reaction to it? This passive attitude of his didn't amuse her. On the contrary, it made her feel just as he said; destructive and petty. It wasn't like Ares to just give in with no retaliation. Diana found herself strongly offended by this. She wanted to protest, no demand, that he punish her!

I want to be punished? What in Tartarus is wrong with me?

"It was just a joke," she finally muttered sulkily, trudging one foot along the red carpet in front of her. Ares just stared at her, his expression inscrutable, which only made her feel worse.

"Stable duty," he said flatly, after another long pause. "For four weeks. And extra archery practice, twice a day. Report back to me in two weeks on your progress." He waved a bored, dismissive hand as if she was some minor flaw in his design which had been dealt with and now he could move on. "You may go."

Without so much as another word, he vanished in a poof of silver lightning. She had been put out of sight and mind just like that. Diana's eyes widened with a mixture of extreme frustration and wounded pride. At first she had felt reassured when he said stable duty. That was familiar ground for both of them and the predicable punishment had given her a sense of security that she desperately needed after this conference. Ares was making her feel so uncomfortable with his quiet responses and long silences. He had her worried that it was the end of the line for her this time. But once the subject of stable duty arose, she knew that the battle was all over and today would not be the day for frying. Unfortunately, her relief was short-lived.

That he could just abandon her there, like she was his personal toy; to amuse him when he wished, but forgotten as soon as he found something better to do, absolutely pissed Diana off. She was steaming from fury, wanting to put a sword through Ares stomach and gut him, navel to entrails. Bet that would get his damn attention.

Want your attention, do I, Ares? I'll show you attention, you slimy, no good, hydra-breathed, son of Bacchai…

"Hey! Did I say you could just laze about?" The growl startled Diana, coming from right behind her left shoulder and she jumped nearly a foot high, before swinging around to glare at Ares. He glared right back and far more impressively, obsidian eyes snapping with anger. "Get your ass out to those stables, Diana and I mean NOW!"

Ah, now that's the Ares I know and torment! Diana smiled sweetly in contrast to his acrimony, her own amusement and relief returning. "Why yes, Master," she said in a saccharine voice, eyes wide and guileless. "I wouldn't dream of wasting another second." She gave a pretty curtsey and tilted her head up to view his expression, expecting disgust or at the very least, increased rancor. What she did not expect was that golden light to be back in his eyes again. It was illuminating and somehow more frightening than his anger was. Nor did she expect him to be looking like—like he…

What was he looking at anyway? Wait. I'm down here, so he must be looking straight down… my… Oh.

She cleared her throat as she straightened up and Ares eyes shot back to hers. He made no excuses for the direction of his gaze, not that she would expect him to. He just grinned, a sensual rakish grin that made Diana's focus abruptly transfer to his lips. After all, he had such full ones. Full and nicely outlined by that dark goatee of his. The few times Diana had kissed him --not that she really remembered such things, er… of course-- she hadn't been able to focus on that. She hadn't been able to focus on much of anything as she recalled.

And the one thing I don't need to be focusing on now is how he kisses. Dammit Diana! This is ARES, remember? Get a grip here!

"Stables," Ares said softly. His hand stole out and smoothed a dark tendril off her cheek. It didn't have to linger, but it did, stealing Diana's breath away with each light brush of his fingers. It traveled further, sinking deeply into the mass of black silky curls hanging behind her and cupped her neck gently. He seemed to be urging her face upwards, angling her forward as if he was going to—as if they were—as if—

Oh yes! Yes… Wait, no… that's BAD! Oh NO!

"Stables! STABLES!" Diana shrieked suddenly, caught in the grip of pure terror. Her composure shattered, she yanked herself unceremoniously out of Ares grip and stumbled backwards, almost tripping on her skirts. Her hands gripped her gavel, not in a menacing way, but nervously as she twirled it anxiously between her palms. Her breath came out in uneven pants and she stuttered as she spoke.

"As you said My Lord, I er, can't be lazing about. Gotta get to those stables pronto! They need a good scrubbing that can't wait another minute. Er, two weeks right? Right?" she kept babbling as she backed to the door and fumbled for the handle, not daring to take her eyes of Ares. He looked incredibly amused, but there was still sensuality behind the amusement that had Diana's panic on the rise. She finally got the door handle to turn and staggered out of the room, then ran like hell for the stables. She never thought she'd say these words, but for the first time ever, she was actually grateful to be exiled there.

And if Ares had any other tricks up his sleeve, he would find her one step ahead of him all the way. She was so onto him, trying to psych her out with this sudden seduction act he was putting on. Well, it wouldn't work. No matter what he did, she was never going to let him win. Never!