A/N I can not begin to tell you how sorry I am for putting this fic on hold for almost a year! I didn't have much inspiration and when I did, I was afraid of ruining the fic. Stupid, I know, but still… writers block galore. I've decided to write the fic the way I want to. Some of you might want more lessons, some will want more alien attacks and some just want to see certain crewmembers with very little clothing, but I guess I'll have to accept that I can't please everyone. I hope you'll still like the fic and thank you for reviewing even when I was too lazy to get off my ass and update.

Enjoy!

P.S. As some of you might have noticed, I have changed my screen name to mach my deviantart account. I'll continue to use my old screen name here to prevent confusion.

Chapter 16: Curiosity killed the Redshirt

The students dragged themselves through the corridors back to their quarters. They had all eaten 'the Daily Special' and were now suffering the consequences.

"Why did I have to run from the Hirogen… WHY?" Sikar groaned, rubbing his temples. "At least THEY would've made it quick, unlike 'the Janewaynator' and her unholy disciplinary measures"

"At least it's weekend, so we can get back to bed now and die in peace," SuperSanne muttered, clutching her head. She had no idea what kind of 'secret ingredient' Neelix had used this time, but it felt like her brain had liquefied and was now slowly oozing out of her ears. A rather painful experience indeed. They kept staggering down the halls until they reached the student quarters. With a sigh, SuperSanne and Istarwyn entered their room and flopped down on their beds.

"What I wouldn't give for some aspirin," Istarwyn grumbled.

"Hey, there's something lying on your night stand," SuperSanne pointed out. "Were those there before?"

"No… I don't think so," Istarwyn frowned. She picked up the objects: two hyposprays, bearing the label: 'PLOT DEVICE'.

"Think we should try it?" SuperSanne wondered.

"I'll try anything," Istarwyn shrugged and used one of the hyposprays like she had seen on the show. Almost immediately, her headache disappeared. Seeing the relieved look on her face, SuperSanne grabbed the other hypospray and did the same.

"Much better," she sighed.

"I'm still worried though…" Istarwyn started.

"Why?"

"Instead of spending the entire weekend in the bathroom, we get an instant cure-"

"Which conveniently makes us healthy enough to get caught in yet another crazy adventure," SuperSanne finished with a groan. They should've known better than to use a hypospray that obviously had 'Q' written all over it. It wouldn't be much fun to sic a horde of rabid Ferengi at the helpless students, if they were too sick to care.

"Firebirdgirl to SuperSanne and Istarwyn," suddenly sounded from their combadges.

"SuperSanne and Istarwyn here," they said.

"Did you guys also-"

"The hyposprays?" SuperSanne guessed. "Yup, we got those to"

"And did you-"

"yeah, we used them," Istarwyn said.

"We all did," Firebirdgirl sighed. Obviously, she had reached the same conclusion. "We're having an emergency meeting in Yannik's and Doec's quarters in five minutes"

"We'll be there, SuperSanne out"

Before stepping out of their room, the two students exchanged nervous glances: this would NOT end well.

"I still say we should just go out there and kick their ass!" Darkninga declared.

"Wait a minute, we don't even know who's going to attack us!" Sikar protested.

"It doesn't even have to be a real all-guns-blazing type assault anyway," Slayer said. "Our next big problem could also be an alien virus spreading throughout the ship, or a warp core breach, or…"

"Okay, okay, we get the picture," KayB cut her off. She had started to look rather greenish.

"Question is, what are we going to do about it?" Feathergriffin asked.

"Let's recap," Yannik spoke up. "up until now, we had two major incidents: first the Hirogen attack, and then the whole Dorito Disaster. Both took place while we were OUTSIDE our quarters"

"And the Captain clearly stated that during an attack, we have to return to our rooms…" SuperSanne nodded, slowly getting the point.

"Also, most of the enemies don't go anywhere near crew quarters during the show," Honney added. "They usually duke it out on the bridge or other critical locations on the ship!"

"Which means that we should be okay, as long as we stay put," Darkninga concluded. They all nodded in agreement.

The next morning, the entire gang got together again in Yannik and Doec's quarters. It was only 5AM, but sleep was about the last thing on their minds.

"It's going to be the Vidiians, I just know it," Aseawen shuddered. "With all those students on board, they're going have a field day harvesting new organs!"

"Unless Species 8472 gets to us first, and decides to 'purge our galaxy' of rabid fangirls," SuperSanne gulped, ignoring the somewhat insulted look on Sikar's face, who was muttering something about 'fanboys never getting any credit'.

"Or the Hirogen might decide they want another set of trophies to decorate their ship," Darkninga mused.

"But they already paid us a visit," Firebirdgirl said.

"Well yeah…" Darkninga put a hand behind her head and laughed sheepishly, "But I kind of kicked their Alpha in the goods on his way out, so they could come back for revenge"

"You did WHAT?" the other students shrieked.

"Give me a break, the guy was like a walking skyscraper! There weren't that many places I could hit him without using a ladder!"

"Evil …mental…images…"

Their discussion on Hirogen physiology was interrupted by a loud growling noise, coming from SuperSanne stomach.

"I haven't eaten since yesterday," she complained. Two hours had already passed and it was now 7AM. Visions of orange juice and toasted bread started swimming in front of her eyes as her stomach started to protest again.

"I sure could go for some food too," Slayer sighed. "Even if that means starting the day with a bowl of "Leolaroot-O's", or whatever it is Neelix serves for breakfast"

Hunger works a lot like yawning: as soon as one person starts, it doesn't take long before everyone else gets it too. 30 minutes later, the entire group of students was laying on the floor, fantasizing about donut-shaped galaxies and edible furniture. It was then that they realized something HAD to be done…

"They don't pay me enough for this," Redshirt #265 muttered as he walked down the corridor of Deck 12. He had barely survived an away mission to a 'deserted' asteroid and was looking forward to a few hours of peace and quiet. Or at least… until someone else decided they would feel more comfortable with a human shield on hand.

"In fact…," he continued sulking, "they don't pay me at all! Who's bright idea was it to make money obsolete, anyway?"

The nameless crewman stopped grumbling when he heard something whispering.

"Hey there… yes, I'm talking to you! Get over here for a minute, will ya?"

Curious, the Redshirt looked in the direction of the voice. The corridor was empty, but one of the doors belonging to the student quarters, was opened slightly. A hand poked out into the hall and beckoned him to come closer. When he did so, the hand suddenly grabbed him by the collar of his uniform and yanked him into the dark room. He heard the doors close and quickly jumped to a fighting stance.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic!" a voice behind him said sarcastically when suddenly the lights turned back on. #265 whirled around and found himself in the middle of a group of eleven girls and one guy. They all looked at him desperately, like he was their last hope of survival.

'What else is new…' he thought wryly.

"Is… something wrong?"

"WE'RE HUNGRY!"

The Redshirt fell over animestyle.

"Well, you didn't have to drag me in here for that! You could've just asked for directions to the Messhall!"

"No can do," Feathergriffin shook her head. "The eerie music already started playing when we left our own quarters to meet here. If we stay out longer than three minutes, we're toast!"

"More like burned toast," SuperSanne added grimly (A/N: digital cookies for the first person who gets the reference!)

"So you're basically asking me to be your personal servant?" he snorted. "Forget it!"

"Look buddy," Sikar spoke up. "Someone or something is lurking out there, just waiting for us to leave this safe zone. If they attack the ship, who do you think they will go after first?"

The Redshirt turned white as a sheet.

"Stay here," he panicked, "I'll be back in a minute. Just… just don't move, okay?" And with that, he hurried out the quarters and rushed towards the Messhall.

90 minutes later…

"You know…" Firebirdgirl started, "We have to leave our spot sometime, we do have class on Monday"

"That, and I seriously need to stretch my legs," Doec agreed, absentmindedly staring at door, willing #265 to return with their food. With their luck, he had probably been caught in a tragic cheese grater accident or something random like that. Redshirts were even worse than the Ocampa when it came to their average lifespan.

"I never thought I'd say this," Slayer sighed, "but I'm bored!"

As if cue… they heard the background music starting again. Sikar glared at her.

"Oh, you just HAD to say it, didn't you!?"

Suddenly, they heard someone banging on their door.

"Open up, it's me!"

SuperSanne opened the door and the Redshirt hurried inside their quarters. The tray of food was quickly snatched from his hands.

"What took you so long?" Honney asked while wolfing down a platter of waffles. Or at least… she thought they were waffles. With Neelix, you could never be really sure.

"I had to cook all this stuff myself," he winced at the memory, cradling his burned arm: Redshirts and heated objects do not mix.

"That explains why our breakfast hasn't tried to fight back yet," KayB said, finishing her bacon and eggs. "Why didn't Neelix cook something up for us?"

"He's in sickbay, along with most students and about every semi-important member of the crew. Apparently, there was a glitch in the replicators and they are all down with food poisoning"

A violent blast suddenly rocked the ship. The students managed to keep their balance, #265 stumbled trough the room on one leg, hit his knee against a table, crashed into a wall, slipped over a conveniently located banana peel and ended up face-down on the floor.

"Oh, don't worry about me, I'm just FINE!" he exclaimed sarcastically when no one made any attempt to help him up. Grumbling, he got back on his feet and arched an eyebrow when he noticed that everyone was standing in front of the window.

"What is it?" he asked, slightly confused.

"Trust me," Doec said with a hint of pity in her voice, "you don't want to know"

Against better judgement, the Redshirt looked over her shoulder and immediately wished he had just stayed in bed that day. There, in the depths of a greenish nebula, a fleet of Borg cubes emerged… and they were heading straight for Voyager.