Hola. ... please don't kill me... I know I promised to update each week, and here I am at the end of summer break updating. ... I am a procrastinator. I know. Sorry to all of those who've waited.
Thanks to, Rose Wyrm, shonenaigirl, BlazinCorporations, RemxiDemonEmpressOfHell, mary Ellen, itachiismyluver, solitarywitchneko, Hikari1994, icegoddess52, ShadowPriesstes for reviewing. THANKS A BUNCH!!!!!
Now, without further ado, Chapter 3!
"Ugh." Deidara yawned and sat up. Looking around, he noticed that he wasn't in his room. Hearing a small snort of sorts (I.K.- HA! A RHYME) Deidara looked down to his side and saw Yin curled up, fast asleep.
Deidara let a small smile grace his lips. So cute. Adorable even. Standing up, he jumped out of the crib where he stayed for the night. Yin kept on waking up and wailing every half hour or so either wanting food, a changed diaper, or just wanting to be held. Yang woke up three times during the night and Itachi took care of her. Speaking of Yang... where is she? Deidara walked up to the white crib and peered inside. Just a small brown teddy bear and a ruffled pink blanket was inside. Deidara picked up the bear and searched under it as if Yang was hiding under it. Then he did the same with the blanket. He shook it and flipped it over and over, but still no sign of the infant.
'What if something bad happened? What if she's been kidnaped! Gasp!' Deidara flew out the door into the hallway to tell Sasori.
But a small cooing noise stopped him in his tracks. It came from Itachi's room. Tip toeing up to the door, Deidara pressed his ear against the wood and listened. Yup. There was definitely something cooing in there.
Silently, Deidara cracked open the door just so he could see into the room. There, on the bed, sat Itachi with Yang on his lap, facing him. Yang was cooing away, gripping his necklace in her small fisted hand. Deidara couldn't help but smirk when he saw the practically invisible smile on the Uchiha's pale face. Yeah, Itachi's Itachi and he never shows any emotion (except for annoyance) but deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down there somewhere- he knows how to smile. (I.K.- APOCALYPSE! RUNNNN!)
Deidara turned away from the door and walked back to the room where Yin still resided. As he grew closer he heard the small whimpering of the red-headed child.
Picking the girl up, he walked over to the changing table. Once he laid her down, he nearly skipped to the closet to pick out an outfit for Yin. Deidara rummaged through the closet deciding what she should wear. Then he realized that sooner or later, she'd get the outfit dirty somehow so he might as well pick out two.
Nodding in approval, Deidara waltzed back to the changing table to find Yin blowing bubbles with her mouth. Deidara squealed- but caught himself halfway through and changed Yin into a light green froggy dress complete with little green froggy socks.
"So cute, un!" Deidara grinned as he hugged the gurgling baby to him. "Let's go get some breakfast, un!"
The girls were just so cute! He was so happy that he could-
..:[la de da dum:..
Far far away, a lonesome figure walked down a hidden dirt path. He was a man... er- plant. Thing. Creature. ...Yeah...
Aaaanyways... the man walked down the path, gazing a head with his cold yellow eyes. His feet felt like lead, pounding into the hard earth again and again. Slowly, behind a thick mist, a waterfall came into his vision. Soon he would be able to lie down and sleep to make up for this mission. Yellow eyes scanned the sky as a white bird flew over head. Somehow, seeing that bird sent a little red flag to go up in the depths of Zetzu's mind. But he shrugged it off. He was nearly there-
BAM!
..:[la de da dum:..
-blow something up.
Grinning he clapped his hands together, getting rid of the imaginary dust. Deidara glanced down at Yin and chuckled. Green eyes were wide with surprise and her small mouth was agape.
Scooping the girl up into his arms, he went on his merry way back into the Akatsuki hideout. With a grin, he entered the so-called 'living room' and saw nearly a half a dozen eyes glaring holes into his frame.
"What, un?" Deidara cautiously slid around the group to the other side of the room. He suddenly felt like a slice of Swiss Cheese... glares can do that to you, ya know. A light bulb flashed over Deidara's head as he took notice that the infant he held was stiff as a board. He halted his trek to glance down at Yin.
Yin held the same facial expression as the one minutes before. Green eyes were bugging out of her head as her mouth was still in the small little 'O' shape.
Deidara stared. Wow. He balanced Yin in his left arm as he raised his right hand to her face and snapped.
She didn't blink
He snapped again. A single anime vein pulsed on his forehead. Pumping chakra into his hand he inhaled deeply and
SNAP-
BOOOOOOOOOM!!!!
And Deidara's room was no more...
"You need to control your temper." Sasori spoke with a small hint of annoyance in his smooth voice.
"What... Temper, un?" Deidara hissed through clenched teeth. He nearly bashed his head into the wall when Yin giggled at his contorted face.
"Ah, welcome home." Kisame greeted with his shark grin.
The whole room looked to where Kisame directed his comment. There, in the door way, stood a tall figure who easily reached past six feet. Black, toasted, and roasted stood Zetzu in all his charcoaled wonder. He coughed letting out a small ringlet of smoke.
Yin grinned toothlessly at this amazing trick. Reaching out, she clapped her chubby hands together as if saying, "Do it again!"
The eerie yellow eyes of Zetsu glanced over the two babies; one had just silently entered with Itachi while the other was clapping in Deidara's arms. "They're so adorable," Zetsu's calm and soft voice melted into a deep, almost cynical voice, "I could just eat them."
Deidara's mouth dropped shockingly as a horrified look flashed onto his face. (I.K.- you know, when the eyes are big white circles and they're mouth drops past their waist snickers) Clutching the girl to him, he pointed an accusing finger towards the venus fly trap. "You MURDERER!"
"This is a S-ranked criminal organization, Deidara." Sasori drawled out boredly.
Eye twitching in anger, Deidara turned towards the puppet master. "I know that, un!"
"It seemed that way..."
"Is that sarcasm?"
"Of course not."
"It IS isn't it!?"
"It seems your 'art' has contaminated your way of thinking Deidara."
"My 'art' is true art!"
"You do not know the true meaning of art.."
"Art is a bang, un!"
"Art is everlasting."
And, well, I think you get the point...
The whole room sighed at the two artists arguing. This happened occasionally and it was getting more annoying by the second. Luckily, there was one who would be able to stop their arguing.
"Hello!" A boy appeared behind Zetzu, an orange mask upon his face. Black hair jetted from behind the swirling mask.
Deidara stopped to stare at the boy, eye twitching.
"May Tobi join the Akatsuki?" Little pink flowers appeared around Tobi's head as he clasped his hands in front of him, hoping to be accepted into the Akatsuki.
"NO, UN! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" Deidara yelled, blowing Tobi backwards.
"But-but!" Tobi sat up. "Tobi is a good boy!"
"And that's exactly why you can't join- we're EVIL, UN! EEEEVILLLL" Deidara swung his open arm around in circles, attempting at proving his point.
Yin, who was still in the clay master's hold, was being shaken up and down- very fast, I might add. Yin frowned as her stomach began to squeeze and churn with every second that past. A stinging, burning liquid bubbled up her throat.
"BLEK!"
"Ew." Kisame twitched backing away from the blonde.
"Heh- That sucks." Hidan said smirking as he exited the room. A chuckle was heard coming from the direction of the silver-haired immortal.
Deidara stood there, in shock and covered in Yin's breakfast. Wonderful. Yin's eyes bubbled over in tears because of the stinging sensation in her throat.
Sasori sighed and stood up. "You'll need to clean this up, Deidara." The redhead said without so much of a glance over his shoulder.
Deidara just glared as the members filed out of the room, not wanting to clean up the mess. 'Hm. I guess I was right when I thought she'd need another outfit today...' Deidara thought, holding Yin out at arms length. 'But I didn't want me to get all... nasty too!'
Tobi, who was the only one in the room besides Deidara and Yin, swiftly grabbed Yin from Deidara's arms and danced to his room, yelling behind him, "I'll give her a bath, Deidara-sempai, you go and clean yourself up!"
Deidara grumbled and sulked all the way to his room.
..:[la de da dum:..
Kakuzu stared into big, chocolate eyes and wondered how the hell he ended up with a child. He didn't even remember picking her up. That Uchiha must have used his freaky eyes or something.
Damn that Uchiha.
Kakuzu glanced around his room for a place to put the child down so he can get back to counting his money. His precious, lovely, shiny money.
So, without contemplating the idea very much, he placed the child on the rug near his bed. The steal springs of the bed squeaked as he sat down upon the simple bed. Now... where was he? Ah, yes...'2367400 yen... 2367450 yen...'
Yang, who was straining her neck to look at the man who sat himself upon the bed, grunted as she tried to move. Stuck on a dirty old rug wasn't very comfy. A shine caught her curious eyes from under the depths of the squeaky bed. She willed her arm to stretch towards the circular golden object. Chubby fingertips brushed against the cold metal, but she could not grasp it. Yang's face contorted in a pouting frown as she desperately reached for the coin. A whimper escaped her throat as she grew frustrated.
But Kakuzu was lost in his own little world and dismissed the child's whining.
After a few grunts and shiftings, Yang victoriously held the 5 yen coin in her hand. Now- she needed to celebrate. And she was going to do what all babies do when celebrating... sticking the object of victory into her mouth. (I.K.-Ah, just like kids, sticking everything and anything they can find into their mouths...)
The cold metal felt good against her teething gums. And she gnawed happily away, emitting jovial giggles every so often.
The money-obsessed man grew curious of how the child... ah, what was her name again? Yen? Uh, no.. it was Yang... stopped whining and was now giggling. Peering over the edge of his bed, Kakuzu nearly fell off as he saw his precious coin bathed in the drool belonging to the little girl.
Quickly he snatched the coin from the baby and desperately attempted to wipe the slimy substance of the coin by rubbing the coin on the girl's bib. Hey, that's what it's for right?! Kakuzu sighed, relieved that his precious coin had no more baby drool on it.
Brown-eyed Yang blinked as she looked around for her chew toy. (I.K.- jeez, I'm making her sound like a dog... --') One second, it was happily in her mouth, and the next, it's gone. What's with that? And now her bib was all wet. Upset, tears bubbled up and her chin quivered. She clenched her fists, and wailed aloud at the top of her lungs.
Kakuzu flailed as the screeching sound blew him from his concentration, sending the pile of yen he was counting flying into the air. Kakuzu nearly pouted at this and cursed. "Fuck."
Casting a glare down to the floor to the demon who caused all of this, Kakuzu reached down and none-to-gently pulled the child into his lap. Yang continued to wail, face red and fists clenched. Kakuzu clucked his tongue turning the baby around in his arms. "Where's the freakin' "Off" switch?"
The money man pulled the child so they were face to face. Yang's screams reduced to hiccups and the tears began to dry. She unclenched one hand and reached for the cloth covering his face, grasping it in her hand.
"Oi. Let go."
She just hiccuped.
"Che." Kakuzu looked closely at the girl who was now sucking her thumb. "You're not cute at all. I don't see why Deidara makes a fuss about you all the time." Standing up, and relieved that she stopped sobbing, Kakuzu left his room and headed to his annoying partner's.
Without even knocking, Kakuzu barged in to Hidan's room finding the latter sharpening his 3 bladed scythe.
"What?"
Kakuzu pushed the infant into the man's arms. "Tag. You're it." Kakuzu reached the doorway and looked back to find the annoying child staring at him with her brown eyes. He shut the door and started back to his room. "Tsk. Not cute at all."
..:[la de da dum:..
"Uwah! Bath time! Well, this really isn't your bath time considering it's a little past noon." Tobi mumbled as he filled the tub with lukewarm water. Yin gurgled from her place on Tobi's bed. Two pillows on either side caged her in so she wouldn't fall off the bed.
"Yosh!" Tobi chirped as he shut off the water. Clad in his bathing suit (which was orange with little blue tropical flowers) he undressed Yin and jumped into the bathtub, causing the water to overflow on to the bathroom floor.
Yin squirmed happy to be out of the dirty, smelly clothes but who was this guy? And why'd he have a weird face?
Tobi held Yin with one hand as he reached for the wash rag. Lathering the cloth with soap, he scrubbed Yin clean, which was rather difficult considering she kept squirming. Soap bubbles floated on the surface of the water, catching Yin's attention. Tobi lowered her down into the water, only leaving her shoulders and head above the water. Yin suddenly jerked, splashing soapy water everywhere. She coughed, accidentally inhaling the water.
Yin was sent into a coughing fit, worrying Tobi. "Ah... what's wrong? Ne, ne, did Yin swallow the water?" Tobi pat Yin's back gently but with enough force to actually cure the coughing. "Saa. Much better!"
So for dozens of minutes they played in the tub, gurgling and laughing the whole way. Tobi was now softly tossing Yin into the air and catching her as soon as she splashed into the water, with Yin squealing giddily the whole time.
The opening of the door startled the two and they both looked to see who it was. Kisame stood there, eyes wide, staring at the boy in the tub with a 'WTF?' look on his face.
"Kisame-senpai! Would you like to join us?" Tobi chirped.
"...No."
Tobi seemed to pout. "But, why not?"
Kisame gave Tobi a 'Are you serious?' look, raising an eyebrow... (I.K.- does he even have eyebrows???) But Tobi being Tobi, was completely ignorant and just waited for a reply. "Because..." the Shark man stopped before he fully closed the door. "You should get out soon, or Yin might catch a cold." And with that, he was gone.
"Hmm.. Well, I guess he's right. Time to get out Yin-chan!" Tobi grabbed a towel from the floor, which was slightly damp from all the splashing and wrapped Yin tightly into a bundle. He gently laid the child on the soft cushion of the toilet seat and stood up himself. Tobi jumped out of the tub right into a small -seemingly innocent- puddle of soapy water. And before he knew it, his foot slipped from under him and he fell smack down on his back. "Itaiiiii..." He moaned, clutching his head.
Yin just stared, amused at the boy on the wet tiled floor.
..:[la de da dum:..
Hidan stared at the child. And Yang stared back. Both were unblinking. It has been 3 whole minutes since Kakuzu dumped this burden on him and it already annoyed him. Standing up, Hidan walked out the very same door that brought this child to him.
He came to a stop in front of an ajar door. If he remembered correctly.. This was the plant dude's room. Peering into the room, he noticed no one was there and tip-toed over to the bed. Carnivorous plants surrounded the room, covering the ceiling, the walls and some of the floor. Hidan was surprised that the bed wasn't an actual flowerpot like he thought.
"What are you doing?"
Hidan spun around, just in time to see Zetsu himself emerge from the wall. What. The. Fuck.
Recovering, he motioned to the baby girl on Zetsu's bed. "It's your turn."
"But if I recall correctly, Kakuzu gave you that child a mere... 4 minutes ago..." Zetsu calmly stated, unblinking.
'The hell? I have a stalker?' Hidan backed away from the giant walking venus fly trap and walked towards the door. Diving out of the room, he shut the door.
He stopped after a few steps and pondered. 'Was it a good thing to leave a child with a man who eats humans?' ... 'Should I feel bad about this?' ... "Nah."
..:[la de da dum:..
Tobi skipped merrily down the boring halls of the Akatsuki hideout. Yin, who was still wrapped up in a towel, stared at the orange mask Tobi bore. It was swirly. It went round and round and round and round and round and round... Swirly eyes replaced her regular emerald ones as the girl followed the black lines on Tobi's mask.
Tobi halted before a door. A wooden sign was hung around the doorknob fastened with a string of yarn.
On it was, 'Do NOT disturb. Working.' Tobi stared at the sign, a finger placed on his chin in deep thought.
BAM!
"SASORI-SENPAI! IT'S YOUR TURN!!!!" Tobi barged into the room, startling both Yin and the puppet master.
Sasori gritted his teeth, attempting on remaining calm. "Did you not see the sign?"
"Uh, no. Tobi saw it! And read it too!" Tobi beamed. Or at least... Sasori thought he did, he sounded happy- but one could never tell with that mask of his.
But before Sasori could respond, a wet bundle was placed on his lap. "Have fun!" Then Tobi skipped out the door, closing it behind him with a bang.
'And he couldn't have dressed her because?' Sasori stared down, indifferent at the child as it stared up at him with wide eyes. Yin blinked and her nose scrunched up letting out a high 'achoo' a second later. Her body jerked with the sneeze and nearly threw her off of Sasori's lap.
With one hand, Sasori lifted her to his chest and he walked down the hall to the twin's room to find some clothes. Meanwhile thinking of how to murder Tobi for destroying his concentration, which nearly demolished his new weapon.
Randomly choosing a shirt, a pair of pants and socks, he dressed the child and almost lost his patience when she kept squirming away. Looking at the final result, Sasori snorted out of amusement. She wore an outfit consisting of a : red and orange leotard under a pair of red pants and two different colored orange socks. Must have been when Deidara did the laundry. He always did screw up the wash by adding too much bleach. His white boxers magically turned pink once- all thanks to Deidara...
Picking Yin back up, the puppet master noted how much Yin looked like a tomato. Her fiery red hair only added to that idea. Heh. Little Tomato-chan.
Sasori walked back to his room and sat her down on the bed. Maybe if the child was quiet, he could actually get some work done.
A shrill cry shattered the comfortable silence seconds after he sat at his desk.
Spoke too soon.
Sasori sent the wailing girl a sharp glare. What could it possibly be now? Shuffling over to the shrieking ball of flesh, Sasori roughly picked her up and held her to him. Within a few moments, she stopped completely. Sasori's right eye twitched.
He gently placed her down and began to walk back to his desk.
Yin cried out again.
He walked back to her and held her till she stopped.
He placed her down. And walked about... 2 feet.
She wailed.
Throwing his arms up in exasperated defeat, Sasori picked her up and took her to the desk with him.
This time, Yin did not cry. Instead, she giggled.
Sasori's right eye twitched once again.
All was quiet in the puppet master's room, besides the random gurgles and giggles of the little girl. Currently, she has happily gnawing on Sasori's pen as he updated a hand on one of his many puppets.
He took the pen from her mouth and frowned as he found it was coated in drool. He slapped his hand to his forehead, ugh. This was going to be a loooong day... Sasori frowned even more once he notice that he kept the pen in his hand and now he has baby's drool all over his forehead. Wonderful. Simply wonderful...
..:[la de da dum:..
Zetsu sat in silence as Yang slept merrily in a crib of vines that Zetsu made from the plants that hung from the ceiling.
Lying down on his back, Zetsu let his mind wander as his two personalities argued in his mind.
"Eat the child. It could be a wonderfull snack."
"No."
"But why not?"
"Because. Leader-sama wanted to keep them for a reason."
And this went on and on. Though, Zetsu didn't notice he was speaking aloud the whole time, and woke up Yang. Her brown eyes wandered around the green house-like room as she sucked her thumb. Chocolate eyes slowed and stopped once they hit Zetsu. (I.K.- What's black and white and green all over? ZETSU! hahaha.. ... okay I'll stop sheesh... )
Zetsu finally realized he had an audience and stared at the child who was resting in the vines of his plant. Golden yellow eyes stared at the infant. He blinked. Yang blinked.
Yang then stretched and yawned, making her eyes squeeze together. Zetsu blinked and the ends of his lips twitched upwards. Alright. He'll admit it. They were cute.
Zetsu shifted into a sitting position and reached over and held Yang in his arms. A small fist gripped one of the spikes that belonged to the venus fly trap that surrounded Zetsu. Gurgles erupted from the child's throat. The black and white man thought that maybe... just maybe having these children here would be fun.
..:[la de da dum:..
Kisame chucked the remote at the TV in the Akatsuki living room of doom. He was bored. There's nothing- absolutely NOTHING to do around here..Gyah... bored.
Hoisting himself up from the couch that was God-knows how old, he strolled down the hallway. A few feet away, he saw Sasori emerge from his own room, Yin (who looked like a little ball of fire in her outfit) in his arms. Yin was giggling and Sasori held a small smile.
Kisame grinned his shark-like grin. No one can resist the cuteness. NO ONE!
"Oi." Sasori's head snapped up at the voice, his face falling into bored facade with his half open, half closed eyes.
"Kisame."
"Yo." Said-sharkman waved. "You need me to take that off your hands?" He pointed to the little bundle of fire in Sasori's arms. Kisame realized that Sasori and Yin both had red hair. The only ones in the Akatsuki.
Sasori stayed silent and hesitated before handing the child over to Kisame. Then he retreated back into his room.
Kisame raised an eyebrow at Yin's mis-matched socks. Must have been Deidara...
Deidara sneezed. This was the 3rd time today... must be coming down with a cold or something... The blond sat in his room, folding clothes that belonged to the girls. Funny.. He didn't remember buying light pink socks... He shrugged.
The blue-skinned man sat on his futon, his legs drawn up and let Yin rest against his thighs. Yin's emerald eyes stared up at Kisame as he put his dear Sameheda on the floor. Kisame looked back at the girl and raised one hand.
Poke.
Yin squirmed, frowning. Kisame chucked at the reaction. He poked her stomach again only to get the same reaction. The girls face twisted in anger as he tried to poke her again.
No!
As Kisame tried to poke Yin for a third time, his finger rammed into an invisible wall. He blinked, rubbing his sore didget. WTF, mates?
Gently reaching towards the girl, his hand rested upon a shield that rippled at the touch- kind of like water.
His eyes widened. Well, that was surprising... Definitely not expected..
He tried once again, but the shield was no longer there and he was able to reach her this time. Two small hands held Kisame's large blue one. It was a picture perfect moment- nothing could ruin it.
Well... something could...
Kisame's nose twitched as he smelt something horrible. It nearly made his eyes water. His eyes glanced towards the baby. Ah hell- why was it always him!?!
At least they have diapers now. Kisame grumbled as he rushed to the twins room to change Yin. It's been practically a week now and it's ALWAYS him!
Kisame nearly spazzed as he threw away the diaper. Nasty. Disgusting. Ew.
Picking up the now giggling Yin, he grinned. It's impossible to stay mad at them. He hugged the girl close to him, rubbing his cheek to hers. They were just too cute.
"Ah, Kisame?"
Kisame snapped away from Yin, holding her at an arms reach. He wasn't hugging Yin. Pffffft. Yeah right.
"Leader-sama wants to talk to us." Deidara stared as he dropped the neatly folded clothes on the changing table.
"Hm." He held Yin to him as they walked to the double doors that led to Leader's office.
"Come in, Deidara, Kisame." a voice called from inside. Deidara and Kisame entered, Yin still in Kisame's arms. The two Akatsuki members stood stiff and still as Leader-sama stared up from his spider solitaire on his computer.
Leader-sama clicked and dragged a 4 to a 5. Letting go of his mouse, Leader-sama gave them their mission.
"You two will go into the village to buy more baby supplies-"
What Kisame didn't know was that the next sentence would scar him for life...
"As a couple."
Oh yeah. He's scarred.
There you have it. Chapter number THREE! yeah. And sorry again about not updating sooner...
I give you guys permission to threaten me if i don't update by... hm... September 3rd. tee hee.
But when you message me- it gives me inspiration, and a reason to write!!! So click the button!! now!