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Summary: Jeff Hardy has got a lot more then wrestling on his mind lately, and it all centers around a certain WWE Diva. Will he admit his true feelings in time or will he lose his chance forever.
Authors Note: Have you ever written yourself into what you believe is a corner and you can't for the life of you seem to find a way out of it? I think I have done this with two of my current fictions and it's been made me almost want to claim writers block until I can sort it out. None the less, I need to do what the song says and get my head in the game so this is what this update it. My attempt at getting back into the game when I'm so overloaded I don't know what end is up. I hope this chapter comes out alright but fair warning it will be shorter then the usual. When you read the chapter you will see why. The reviews I've received are wonderful and I thank each and every one of you for them as well as for the addition of this story as a favorite that some of you have done. Just knowing that for a minute some of you are entertained by this is a real pleasure. Thank you.
"So you come out of my ex girlfriends bathroom and all you have to say for yourself is 'It Is What It Is'? Jeff I expected so much more from you. This is quite frankly a let down."
Just what the hell was he talking about? Jeff thought to himself as he watched his brother take in the information that he had just confessed. Matt seemed to be focusing on the last part of his statement and not the real truth of the matter which had come out first. He had just admitted to loving Ashley and from the sounds of it, it was like Matt hadn't even heard it. Or at the very least was choosing to pretend he hadn't. Either way it gave him the creeps.
If he was really honest with himself then he would admit that at that moment in time he no longer cared what his brother thought anymore. For years he had been behind the scenes, watching as Matt took charge and went ahead and assumed that what he had wanted was what Jeff had wanted too. But that was never the case and that fact was hitting him more then ever now. He had finally broken free of Matt's shadow. It was time he started being his own man, starting with admitting that he was a flawed person.
Falling for your brothers ex girlfriend was not one of his most shining moments but it was exactly as he had said. It was what it was and there was nothing now that could be done or would be done to change it. He was sick of hiding his feelings to spare other people and it was about time he admitted just how he truly felt. No matter what his brother chose to do. Matt was his own man and was entitled to feel whatever the hell he wanted.
"Look Matt, I am not going to sit here and belabor the point with you. Ashley and I slept together and I love her and as much as that must pain you to hear, it isn't going to change because you throw sarcastic comments at me. It doesn't work that way, not anymore."
Matt smiled but not in the happy way that he had been used to seeing when they were younger. No this smile was sicker, more sadistic as if he knew something that Jeff didn't and was happy about it.
"You love her? Please Jeff! You have no idea what real love is. Remember Beth and the mess you made of that relationship?"
There it was. The horse that broke the camels back. The proverbial elephant in the room. Matt was so upset by what he had walked into that he was now choosing to throw the past in his own brothers face. Sometimes it really made him wonder which of them was really the older one.
"This has nothing to do with Beth and you know it. But for the sake of argument lets say that you're right. I did make a mess of that but I also learned from it. Something that you need to sit back and do because its obvious you haven't done it lately."
I've gone too far now, there is no turning back. He thought as he watched the comment roll over Matt, causing him to sit up and take notice.
This wasn't about Jeff sleeping with Ashley or even loving her and they all knew it. It was about Matt wanting to believe that he still loved Ashley when he hadn't really loved her at all. He had used her to ease his own pain with Amy and it was about damn time he took responsibility for it, no matter what way it had to come out.
"That was cheap Jeff and you know it."
"But it's true isn't it? I mean come on Matt, you want to sit there and throw arrows at me for falling in love with a woman you really couldn't care less about but yet when I throw back you immediately tell me what a cheap ass I am. It doesn't work that way."
Ashley chose that moment to speak up then, tired of feeling like the odd woman out in a room full of testosterone. What had been a wonderful night of real lovemaking was now turning into a circus sideshow. She needed to put the brakes on it before they both said too many things that they couldn't take back.
Truthfully though, what Jeff had said had hit home with her and she needed to know just how much truth there was to the whole lot of it. Had she really been nothing more then a cheap lay for the elder Hardy brother or was Jeff just completely mistaken?
"Is it true Matt?"
Matt looked up at her then and the look in his eyes told her everything she wanted to know. Deep down she had known that there was something off about their relationship because of when and how it started but seeing for real that Jeff had been right was enough to make her want to hurl. She really had been a cheap lay for him.
She had never felt like more of an idiot as she did in that moment and the feeling of both brothers watching her was enough to make her want to run. Neither one of them deserved the feelings that she had professed to have at different times for them. They only deserved the misery they wanted to cause each other.
Tearing her eyes away from the two men who looked about ready to go toe to toe in a real battle of wits and sparing, she grabbed her clothing and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door, not allowing either of them to see just how much the truth had hurt her.
All she needed to do now was get the hell of the room and away from both of the Hardy brothers before she became just another notch on their belts. Something she was forever going to be if she didn't.