Ok, so we start with Rin's really mature POV about how she was reborn…. Then wait
Is it all too messy? I'm sorry… because I was doing A LOT of deep thinking while writing this. I think it's a bit too perplex for my dear readers to understand. Is it? Oh and another thing, this chapter is particularly about Rin and Sesshie's thoughts about each other and opinions about stuffs (I'm not good at summaries so you have to read. XD)
Ohyah, this story has a gruesome and gory, very graphic part in the end, you can skip if you want.
enjoy
Reminiscence of those years.
Rin's P.O.V
"Sesshomaru-sama…?" I always inquire starting with his royal name first and then I will wait for a hint of reply from my Lord. It has always been this little habit of mine to do so, ever since I began my life; pursuing him, my master. He resurrected me, pulled me back from the crooked-fingered Shimigani, or those wretched Pallbearers of Death who had come to take me. But- they were killed (ironic isn't it? death overcome by death) by him. Sesshomaru-sama is the ultimate. He is my owner and I am eternally indebted to him until the Shimigani return for the last time to claim my soul to the depths of Meidou. The lowest of the lowest levels in Meidou will I reside, for I defied death once by Sesshomaru-sama's hands. I was pulled back from my fate and given a second chance; I followed a dai-youkai who slaughtered humans with a cold face; I was cursed ever since his tenseiga blade met the throats of the Shimigani. I assume he understood what he would be doing by bringing my soul back. Jaken-sama often complains to me about my disgusting existence and how he swore that he saw Sesshomaru-sama hesitate the moment he wanted to resurrect me. Jaken-sama claims that Sesshomaru-sama was contemplating the idea of resurrecting a human and how it would affect his moral and social status. However, I know Sesshomaru-sama is not a youkai of looks and social status, I know that he had been thinking of what both our fates would be should he resurrect me. And he did.
Often on our journeys, I had thought of why Jaken-sama laments my rebirth and never ceases to nag at me. I also think of why Sesshomaru-sama gave me life again. The second question of which I will never understand. Sometimes, I feel that I drag Sesshomaru-Sama and Jaken-Sama in their journeys and I have often thought of running away to do them a favor. However, the cold, golden, piercing orbs of gold lock me in my actions. They make me stop all thoughts of running away from him. I make it sound as if he has placed some invisible shackles on my hands and legs, preventing me from running. I do not doubt that he has done that. Although we have come to a common understanding that he does not want me to flee, although sometimes he says I am free to go when I please: He has chained me to him, however, the keys to my chains are with me; I am bound but I may be free.
I know that my thoughts for an eleven year old a far too deep and intense, I have cultivated this art of deep thinking after following and observing my master… Journeying in silence gives one the "peace" to understand the ways of life better. Alas, I have no idea how to eliminate my innocent and naïve appearance. I know that I can understand and reflect matters to a high extent. But! - But, I lack the skills to put it into words (probably because of my lack of education). If I had known how to write, I probably would have written and wasted scripts of paper as long and vast as Sesshomaru-sama's lands.
He gave me back my life which chains me to him and I may run away based on my free will and the grudging permission of his to let me go which is my key. All this is perplexing, even to me, the creator of this myriad. Sometimes when I am half awake, I observe my master, who always surveys the night sky as if searching for some answer. His brows would furrow and he would appear in deep thought. I think he is thinking about why he resurrected me.
I am unafraid of death or Meidou. This is because…. I don't know.
You let me go? How can it be? You have always come for me! Ever since Naraku kidnapped me you would always retrieve me! Why is now different?! I don't want to be alone again! Sesshomaru-sama! I don't want to be with these rogues. Sesshomaru-sama! I know you will come for me!
Sesshomaru's P.O.V
The girl intrigued me. This is probably the most valid and comprehendible reason for me to resurrect her and allow her to follow me. I was curious as to how she would grow up. She possessed this capacity to understand matters far beyond her years. I had known, of course, that if I resurrected this human, there would be a high chance of her being cursed to the lowest levels of the Meidou for being brought back from her fate. I also knew that I would be giving myself a heavy burden which would be unnecessary. By resurrecting her, I would be given the position of her lord and re-creator. I would be responsible for her, as much as I hated to admit it. I am responsible for no one. I protect no one and I care for nothing. I am the inu-dai-youkai Sesshomaru. What am I to bind myself to such a burden?
I was intrigued the moment I saw the girl. She possessed this unnatural depth of understanding and it was annoying to allow such a depth of mind to go unnoticed…- No, un-studied. I enjoy assessing and observing people's minds and personalities. This girl would be my entertainment for the while until I grow bored of her. I have already finished assessing Jaken. I knew that such a shallow character as he would not allow my curiosity to last. The human should provide me with amusement for about eighty-years. Disgusting short lived creatures, this girl does not reek as bad as her male species although she does emit a smell, it is bearable. Once I have finished assessing her or she proves to be more of a burden then I had perceived, I would just kill her.
I did not contemplate not resurrecting her for too long because what do I care for humans? She would just be a possession to me. Like a comb, once it has broken teeth, you throw it away with no feelings. The human would be no different. Would I care if I would have cursed her to the lowest of the low levels of Meidou? My father had not cursed that wretched Izayoi only because he resurrected her out of love. Love is an alien emotion to me. I also do not wish to familiarize myself with it. This Sesshomaru has no dealings with such a weakness.
I clearly remember the first few weeks in which the girl pursued me. I grudgingly say that the girl's appearance had caused me to underestimate her (although I rarely think wrongly about anyone). Despite her bony body frame as well as a tattered Yukata, the girl managed to follow me through the wilderness. I refused to protect her the first three days because I wanted to see how dependant she would be on me. The wretch was in luck because I sensed no youkai on those three days. She was lucky….
The next month, I had observed closely; scanning her every move over and over again. The only thing that disturbed me (as much as I hate to admit) was that she could remain silent. Stark silence. She had not uttered a word ever since her rebirth. Yet, when I question or command her, I catch this deep stir within the fathoms of her eyes. As if she was weighing, inferring, concluding and comprehending whatever I tell her. She indeed possessed the rare capability to comprehend matters far beyond her years.
I have the tendency to intimidate someone by making my presence and purpose clear to them. I even increase the respect they hold for me by utilizing the presence of "personal space". I step close to them and stare into the vacuum of knowledge in which their eyes hide and make them feel as if I am reading them like a book. Fools- No, the smart ones believe that I am actually doing so and submit to my will and do anything they can to please me. Only the reckless or crazed dare stare back and attempt to assess my own eyes. Most of those who dare return the challenge break down once I increase the intensity and my gaze proceeds to pierce through them. In the end, I am only a powerful dai-youkai, not a mind-reader and after my centuries of perfecting this talent of mine, I have successfully enabled myself to perfect my face and build a fortress around the same organ I use to assess others which can also reveal myself to them if they try hard . The girl surprised me when I attempted to challenge her. As impractical as it is to challenge a child, I was curious as to how she would respond to my "threat". Would she cower in fear or would she boldly, but foolishly return the gaze? I half expected her to do the first option. Yes, and according to cliché, at first, the girl shrunk back when I started the challenge. Then, once again, I caught the faint and distant stirring within her human eyeball. From becoming distant and glassy, her gawk focused and sharpened. The girl had the cheek to sharpen her own gaze and return my stare, but with double the power and intensity. This was unexpected and as much as I hate to admit it, I recoiled in astonishment and- I have forgotten the rest of the details so I won't bother recalling such an insignificant event.
Where is Rin?! I scoured the charred remains of the pathetic village to find my possession. Whatever made me believe she was alive amidst the rubble? A mortal human girl against a blazing fire probably caused by one of those pathetic Metsubushi bombs built by rogues? WHERE is she?! I had instructed Jaken to wait for her around the outskirts of the village after punishing him with the flat side of my Tokijin. I couldn't be bothered to use my Tenseiga to resurrect and curse him. I do not feel like returning to him. The loss of a possession irks me more then anything. Something tells me that the girl would not be killed so fast… I know that she is still alive…-I will not stop looking for her!
"Enough! I won't wallow in self-pity"
Rin's POV
3 Years after her capture
Mornings… How she hated them. They reminded her of how things always were a circle; a continuation of the past and the repeat of incidences. Rolling to the left of her Futon, Rin wiped the droplets of perspiration off her back and kneaded her arm. She winced as her index finger rubbed a particularly sore portion of muscle and scowled. Wiping the remaining beads of sweat of her forehead, she sat up and was embraced by the warm feel of sunlight on her skin, filtering through the wooden slats oh her hut. She always asked herself what she was doing alive in the mornings. Who was she? Rin .What was she? An assassin. Why was she there? She owned that small hut in the village of assassins. She was brought here four years ago after she was aban- No. She refused to answer the last question. Just like the previous mornings.
Sometimes she wondered why she woke up alive, not dead. She was better off dead. Death seemed like a peaceful prospect. She liked the appealing idea of sleeping for an eternity. Anyway, the training given by him was so hectic that anyone would wish for a lifetime of peace living in a monastery. Wait, she was an assassin, how degrading it would be to retire in a monastery. She spat onto the ground floor just to emphasize the disgust of the last thought.
Rin sat up and massaged her scalp. Her hair had grown considerably longer although she refused to tie it up. Its raven-blackness was still apparent and never ceased to appeal to other villagers. Sitting up, she stifled a yawn; appreciating the "eye spots" it gave from depriving her head of enough air. Rin snickered; she was as sadistic as ever.
She looked at the silver threads which made prints on the thin sheet which covered the futon and cursed; immediately standing up as if disgusted. The thin threads of silver reminded her of what she had fought so hard to forget, a dark memory of her life before the assassins…. Rin ground her teeth together and let out a squeal of detest. She laughed at her own foolishness, which person alive would be so dumb as to continuously sleep on the same sheets every night and yet detest its sight for it brought back memories both tender and loathed? The answer was there, Rin. She mentally chided herself. For some reason, as much as she hated to admit, as disgusting and hateful the memory of her Lord- Stop!
"HE I'SNT MY LORD!" she cried in frustration. –She couldn't forget him… As angry as she was towards him… she simply could not erase him. Rin sighed and forced the issue back into the darkest realms of her mind just as she always did the previous months. She was sick and tired or thinking of him returning constantly- STOP! She commanded herself. She slinked groggily to the entrance and into the full morning sunshine.
"Enough! I won't wallow in self-pity"
-
The village in which Rin and her fellow assassins resided in consisted of mainly youkai and only five humans, including her. No hanyous. Although the humans and dai-youkai had a somewhat grudging respect towards each other, none of the deadly inhabitants could tolerate hanyou. To both humans and dai-youkai, hanyou were despicable creatures of filthy and impure blood. Creatures that did not deserve to exist. Humans feared the hanyou's higher and deadlier abilities while Youkai despised the hanyou's lowly or weak powers. Hanyous were the in-betweens' bread by parents of immature actions. Before her years in the rural community, Rin had no definite opinion of hanyous. However, it was only recently that she had developed a judgment towards hanyous. Anyway, she had always lived amongst people who held grudges against half-breeds… Not to mention Sesshomaru—Rin paused at the last thought, shook her head and proceeded to the courtyard in the centre of the settlement to receive her daily commands from the head of her team.
The assassins existed in divisions which were given to them the moment they had an existence in the village. The divisions were based on an individual's weapon of choice and Rin, who had been given the Naginata (the halberd), was placed in team Kougeki which specialized in making direct attacks to enemies or targets given by clients who preferred a fast death to their victims as compared to other teams which specialized in espionage or the Shuriken who could keep a victim in his pain for weeks before he died. However, Rin, being only fourteen was not allowed to follow Yuragu and his team Kousu on raids. Also, her victims were lesser-youkai horded by another team which was responsible for training rookies or new assassins.
Hierarchy in the village was a complicated factor which Rin, as much as she tried could not decipher. However, it was essentially such that there was no headman in the village. There was only this pair of chosen mates who had to be youkai. They were in charge of business dealings with foreigners. They were in charge of bringing in the dirt or jobs as well as organizing raids. The rest of the positions of honor followed the ancient times where the youkai were the more superior compared to humans. Mammal Youkai were more worthy of respect as compared to reptile or bird Youkai. Inu Youkai and wolf Youkai also had the tendency to inhabit the higher ranks of the village. They received the harder, dirtier jobs and received the greatest pay.
Rin had never ventured past the thick and lush forest which surrounded her village. The forest which created a natural barrier also made the village virtually unknown to the locals living on the other end. The assassin's village was only whispered behind the closed doors of the rooms of rich Shoguns and Daimyos, both youkai and human. The assassins were an invisible force to be reckoned with. Of course, the centuries of enhanced studies and mere experience made their villagers highly advanced and their weapons effectively deadly. In fact, the latest weapon was the poison Metsubushi which released shrapnel and poisonous vapors on the moment of activation. Yuragu had said that Rin would only be allowed to leave the village after her fifth year. In fact, all assassins were only allowed to officially lay eyes on a target after the fifth year of their stay. On the day in which they were allowed to leave, they would celebrate it by slaughtering a dai-youkai. After a gruesome and gory occult ritual, his or her weapon would be dipped in the blood of their first kill. The blood would be allowed to drip onto a thick strip of white linen which was tied tightly onto the new assassin's arm. The bandage of linen represented the assassin's soul and the dripping of blood signified that the assassin would live for killing only. After the ceremony, the assassin would be a changed person, both mentally and spiritually. Yuragu had told her that once an assassin had gone through the ceremony, nicknamed The Ordeal, he would have to live for the kill. He lived to see his victim die. He would celebrate death and mourn life. He would be one with his weapon. As quoted directly from the words inscribed in the sacred mantras found in the village's temple.
(Beginning of Gore)
Rin had watched the ordeal three times. She had seen the new assassin slowly slit the head of its victim which was strapped to a wooden alter. The victim would squirm under the hurt and would start to scream. Rin enjoyed their screams for mercy and loved to observe the stoic and detached face of the candidate. Once the sacrificial blade reached the center of the victim's neck, the youkai would have already ceased to scream anyway. Rin vividly remembered the gore of blood and brain spray the chipped surface of the wooden block and remembered the mutilated face of every sacrifice. Each of the victims had been large dai-youkais.
Beautiful creatures of strength and power- Power taken away by his executioner and absorbed into his blade. Rin remembered one of the victims of The Ordeal. He was a beautifully majestic dai-youkai with Bird origins. He had taken his human form and was tightly restricted to the table. She had passed him before his sacrifice and there was barely a crowd forming. She remembered when he turned his head in her direction and she dared peer into his deep crimson eyes. Rin dared to survey his soul and from it, she recoiled in horror, grief and wretchedness. That had been the first time she encountered such fear and dread faced by a particular person. His eyes begged her to release him from his fate and if she could recall correctly, a single tear fell gracefully from the corner of his eyes, marring the perfection of his face.
The face which made his existence paradox. It appeared so peaceful and untouched, yet, Rin could sense the pain and fear in which his eyes had been howling, shrieking, crying and beseeching her to help. From under his head lay a crushed wing which had been twisted from his shoulder blades and under his body. The feathers were blood stained and the dai-youkai's long black hair made an unnatural flow around his head. It was a still picture of gothic beauty. Rin was mesmerized by the exquisiteness which the scene radiated.
Being deeply mesmerized by the poignancy of the situation, Rin did not sense Yuragu. He had placed a hand on her shoulder and told her with a sudden seriousness that she must never ever connect with a victim no matter how much it beseeched to her or appealed to her. He reminded her that life was as short as it was disposable. Fate was the same for everyone and it was fixed. She had immediately wanted to tell Yuragu with the faintest hope that fate could be changed but she shut herself up when the pitiful creature on the sacrificial alter emitted a high pitched shriek. Rin turned around to see him entangled in a particularly thick bundle of rope. She wanted to help, naturally, she NEEDED to help! But the creature, further twisted his body with entwinement of rope, blood, hair and wings. In a while, the twisting stopped and the atmosphere gave a sudden chill. All the while Yuragu had restrained her with a firm palm. He lowered himself close to Rin's shaking shoulder (she had obviously understood what was happening) and whispered words she no longer remembered. He then walked off to instruct someone to throw the corpse off a nearby cliff. Everyone thought the sacrifice had been wasted. However, there had been a young and no longer innocent soul that night which had matured and went through its own augmentation.
She had no idea why she enjoyed such explicit gore.
(End of Gore)
Rin understood the simplicity of life. Many people proclaim that life is complicated and difficult. Rin gave a loud snort of disapproval which startled a youkai walking past her into starring. Rin ignored it.
Life is as simple as you make it out to be.
End of story-
Okays people, this is the end of story three. Please please please review! I couldn't beg for it more because I would take up the whole page… Come on… it's like there were 300++ hits and only 13 reviews. Whatever happened to the other 300++ readers??? Huh?? What happened to them? I'm trying to figure out. Will somebody answer this deep question of WHAT happened to the other people who stumbled onto this humble web page? Come on. I appreciate the reviews. It's only a short paragraph of what you think about the story and it does not even consume much chemical energy… come on. You know you can do it! The button is only there Points to review button in bottom left-hand-corner and waves hand about its just a wee button! You can do it!
I would really like to thank EVERYONE who reviewed. Thanks so much for the support! I appreciate the effort!
XDD Ga matte ne!