Disclaimer: Once again, it is back in chapter one!

A/N: Wow, this came quick. Thank you to Brenn once again for all the help. Also thanks for being Brad in this for me! I am VERY thankful for all the help, I can't say thanks enough to you!

Well on to the story this time… simple short thanks!






Chapter 3: Confessed Feelings

Well Brad…Should I start this all out on the good words I have or the bad? Maybe I should start off good so you can just be mad at the end. I have gotten to know you well enough that I know that you will be mad by the end of this letter.

Shall I say I am flattered that you hold my friendship so close? I really never knew that I truly meant that much to you. I knew that we were probably the closest of the team, but truly I just thought that it might be because we have been together longer then the others. We spent some years together before we got our whole team, truly I still treasure those years very much. I miss being around just you as much as I use to be able to. Though while we are on the subject I do have to ask you one question; do I really know the true you? You say that I know you and not what Rosenkreuz and Esset formed, but is that really fully true? I don't mean to offend you, but I really thought that no one knew that side of you… Am I really that lucky?

Well on to making you mad I guess… I can't really put off the inevitable for too long.

Don't you think that calling your team a 'machine' is a little low? I can agree that we do each have a job and we will perform it to the fullest, but I'm not sure I would go so far as to say we are a machine. Though, you were very touching and a lot more open than I would have expected there, Braddy. 'Could be regarded as a family…but we are so much more than that' I believe is how you worded it. I never would have expected you to be so deep with this, but I am happily surprised.

Do you really look that highly on me Brad? I've tried to prove myself to you, and from what you have admitted, I have. At least I can say I did accomplish one thing in my life, and I am even happier that it was bringing you to trust me more. I would never allow anything to happen to you, and would lay my life down to save yours. I will never leave your side Brad, as long as I have any say in it. Though, on a lighter note of our relationship, I enjoy bothering you. I know that you are angry, but you need to loosen up some how. My bothering usually seems to at least help you a little. It is nice to know that my help is at appreciated even just little. Also, I will agree that Farf and Nagi would never bother you in the slightest when it came to your work. Nagi respects you too much and is afraid of angering you, and you have 'trained' Farf to know not to bother you. As for me, well like you said, I was one that kept my personality and will. Bothering you is part of that will, Braddy.

Ok, Brad. I will also fully admit that I would hate it if you ever brought a girl back and claimed that you cared for her, and that she suddenly got more attention than me. I will also admit that it would probably be the easiest way to set up the girl's death. Can I also throw in one smaller piece of honesty here? I'm not sure if I could kill her… If you truly cared for her that much I couldn't hurt you, so I would leave her alone, but I might disappear suddenly. I'm the one who gets your attention Brad, no one else. I want your attention and as you already well know, I will do about anything to get it… You are perfect Brad. To me you are perfect, and you always will be. I do love you, more then anyone else. More then I will ever love anyone else, you are my lover… Even if these feelings aren't returned and I am left alone in this, I can't change what I feel for you. I will keep wishing that someday you might love me as well. Even if that day never comes, can't I wish for it?

Oh, while I am still on this subject, this secondary subject seems to go hand in hand with it. You don't tell me everything? You act like I thought you did. I never expected you to be thoroughly open with me, or anyone for that matter. That just isn't how you are Brad, but that also doesn't bother me. I love you for who you are, and not telling me something isn't going to change that. I can only assume that the things you don't tell me, you are keeping hidden from me for a reason. I never would doubt your reasoning, it has led this team further then you think. Also your reasons, no matter how much I may not show it, mean a lot to me. I would follow you anywhere just because you asked me to, hell I would follow you even if you asked me not to. I have learned that your reasons mean everything, and that it is safe to base my life on your reasons. From what you said you seem to already know this but I want to write it to you anyways. Never doubt my loyalty to you Brad; I would be the last person to turn against you. As I stated before, I would willingly die for you. Know that this simple fact will never change.

You already knew I was the correct one for your team when you first found me at Rosenkreuz? I know that was a stupid question. You are a precog, how wouldn't you know. I have to ask though, was that the only reason? You also said that me keeping my personality and will led you to believe I was the one. Were there other reasons? Did you see a vision of me on the team? Did you just want me because Rosenkreuz had not been able to corrupt me, unlike most that pass through those doors? Maybe these questions don't need answers, but I had to ask them. I want to believe I know the answer, but maybe I just want to actually hear it directly from you. I want to know, for sure, that I am right. I really don't believe you understand how much it meant to me that you saved me from that layer of Hell. I wouldn't have made it much longer without you coming to rescue me. Yes, I was scrawny but has that really changed at all? I like how I look, and I hope you do as well. I being 'scrawny', as you so wonderfully put it. I do know that being half crazy from the minds around me has changed. That would be all thanks to you as well though Brad, and you know it. You are the only thing that has put me back together and somewhat made me whole again. I do say somewhat only because I know I am no where near what I could be to help you. I was often told that I was the most powerful telepath they had ever seen. I find that hard to believe, what with my shields being shit and everything else. It is hard to believe you are that powerful when you can hardly control your own mind, let alone who you allow in.

Do I talk too much? I know you aren't much of a talker, but my letters seem to be way longer than they need to be… Oh well, I guess you can deal with that can't you? I have a lot to say and, for one reason or another, you seemed to have been interested enough to read it and even respond to me. Which, I will say that it was a surprise to wake up and have paper sitting by what I wrote the night before with your handwriting on it. I also realize I am not a morning person, but I was too lazy to destroy that last night. Also I didn't think you would actually take time to sit and read what I had written. I thought you would just put your things away and come to bed. The last thing I expected was you to read through that and take the time to write back to me. I am very honored Herr Crawford. Please don't yell at me for that…

To close this on a lightly note, so that maybe you won't be too mad at me when I see you after you read this… What time did you get home?!? You ended your letter by saying it was 7am and you had gone 24 hours without sleep. How do you do that Braddy?!?

Another thing, you know full well that I will not wake up before you. I am just happy that you left this letter so that I could read it. I stored the other two letters away so you don't have to worry about the other two members finding the 'nonsense' we wrote, as you so kindly put it. They will never find our letters, which I can promise you. I will also make sure that this and any further letters are taken care of in the same manner.

This is the last question before I end this and head to your office to bother you. Did you really have to call all this nonsense? So what if I am spilling emotions here, is it really nonsense?






A/N: Thank you to all reviewers, the thoughts are much appreciated, and also much wanted!!! Please keep reviewing!