A/N: Second installment. I do not own Pokemon, Happy Feet, Hummer, Thomas the Tank Engine, or anything else recognizable. I do, however, own the characters Mumble, Billy Bob Joe, and Esteban.

Pokemon Green Eggs and Ham

Based on the story by Dr. Seuss

Once upon a very strange time, May of Petalburg and Drew of La Rousse decided to travel together, even though they were coordinator rivals of opposite genders and constantly at each other's throats. Drew and May really didn't get along. Drew was the rich kid who had a high arrogance rate, while May was the gym leader's daughter who was as sweet as pink pokeblock. Drew also hired people to dig holes in the ground where he sleeps while camping. This story begins on one of those camping nights (err… mornings).

"I AM MAY! MAY I AM! I AM MAY! MAY I AM!" sang May at approximately four-thirty in the morning whilst making green eggs and ham, thus waking Drew.

Drew, who was underground, asleep, stuck his green-haired head up from the ground, awakened, and exclaimed, "That May-I-am, that May-I-am, I do not like that May-I-am."

May responded, "Do you like green eggs and ham?"

"I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them May-I-am," replied Drew. He then fell asleep because it's pretty darn hard to wake up at 4:30 AM and stay awake, without a very loud alarm-Starly nonetheless. When Drew woke up, at about six, it was from May dumping ice-cold water on him that still had a few big chunks of ice in it.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWW!" exclaimed Drew. "COLLLLLLLLDDDDDDD!"

"Well, now you're awake," started May, "Would you like them here," and she jabbed her finger on a town on a map. "Or there?" She jabbed her finger at another town.

"I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere, I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them May-I-am!" responded Drew. They walked a bit, and then came upon a Pikachu.

"I'm going to catch that Pikachu!" yelled May. "It's so CUTE!"

Drew said, "Good luck with that!"

"Go, Squirtle!" exclaimed May. At first glance of the Pikachu, Squirtle fainted. May sweatdropped.

"Okay, then. Go, Skitty!"

"Pikachu pi?" asked the Pikachu. (Translation: Huh? Was I supposed to be doing something?)

"Skitty, use Double Slap!"

"Skitty, skit-skit-skitty skit!" exclaimed the Skitty while attacking.

"Pi, pika pi!" said the Pikachu. (Translation: Ow, that hurt!) May threw a Pokéball at the Pikachu. It shook three times and then was caught.

"All right, I caught a Pikachu!" exclaimed May. After they started walking again, May let the Pikachu out of her Pokéball.

"Would you could you with a Pikachu?" May shook a pack of gum in Drew's face. "Would you like some gum to chew?"

"Would I what?" asked Drew.

"Eat green eggs and ham," said May, as if stating the obvious (which she probably was, but that's not the point).

"I would not eat them with a Pikachu, I do not want some gum to chew, I would not eat them here or there, I do not like them anywhere! I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them, May-I-am," replied Drew. They then passed a Furret on a turret. The Furret attacked.

May said, "GO, Pikachu! Use thunderbolt on that Furret!"

"Piiiiikaaaaaaachuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" exclaimed the Pikachu while attacking. May threw a Pokéball and caught it.

"All right, I caught a Furret!" exclaimed May. "Now, would you like them with a Furret? Would you like them on a turret?"

Drew said blandly, "I would not like them with a furret, I would not like them on a turret, I would not eat them with a Pikachu, I would not like some gum to chew, I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them May-I-am."

May said disbelievingly, "That was dull."

"I know. Say, where are we anyway?"

"Johto Hummer."

"Huh?"

"And you call me dense! It's a car dealer."

"…"

"…"

"Is that legal?"

"Hey, if they let ten year olds travel alone, then they should let thirteen year olds drive."

"May, you're not thirteen."

"No, but you are."

"Oh, cheese doodles. What have I gotten myself into? Anyway, I'm only twelve!"

"No, you forgot already? Your birthday was yesterday!"

"How did you know?"

"Your calendar said on yesterday's date 'Drew's Birthday. Don't forget again. Remember to change underpants. Love, Mom.'"

"…"

"…"

"Oh."

"We're heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!" yelled May, thus breaking the pattern on non-"he said…" "She said…" thing.

"Hello, welcome to Johto Hummer! How may I assist you?" asked the Hummer dealer, who happened to be an emperor penguin.

May simply replied, "I'd like to rent a Hummer, please."

The penguin, which was named Mumble (a surprisingly popular penguin name since the Happy Feet movie came out), responded, "Sure, as long as one of you is thirteen. Which Hummer do you want, an H1 for $20, an H2 for $15, an H3 for $10, or a new Boy Scout Hummer for $5?"

"He's thirteen, and since he's driving, I'll let him choose," said May chipper-ly.

"Eh. H3, I guess," said Drew coolly. Drew paid Mumble the $10.

"CONGRATULATONS! You are the 10th arrogant jerk to rent a Hummer with his female rival from this dealer! You win two train tickets!" exclaimed Mumble with the voice of a television show announcer. May and Drew just stared at him like this: 0.0

"Don't ask," said Mumble in his regular voice. "Before I got this awesome, $1 an hour job, I used to have this stupid $10 an hour job as a contest announcer."

Once they got out, May said to Drew, "Now, would you eat them in a car? Do you want a chocolate bar?"

"What are they again?" asked Drew.

"They're green eggs and ham. They are also getting cold," replied May.

"I would not eat them in a car, I do not want a chocolate bar, I would not like them with a Furret, I would not like them on a turret, I would not eat them with a Pikachu, I would not like some gum to chew, I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them May-I-am," said Drew in one breath. He added, "Besides, eggs taste horrible cold and it wouldn't be safe to eat while driving."

I guess Drew didn't know how completely unsafe it is to ramble to your female rival while driving; he drove straight up a tree-drill!

May asked, "What's a tree-drill?"

"A tree-drill is a tree which is spirally like a drill and attracts Beedrills," I, the all-knowing author, responded. Just then, Beedrills started attacking the car.

"Would you like them in a tree-drill?" inquired May. "Would you like them with a Beedrill?"

"Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz drill" went the Beedrill. (Translation: Hey! You should not be about! You should not be here when our mother is out!)

"I would not like them in a tree-drill (if they even exist), I would not like them with a Beedrill, I would not eat them in a car, I do not want a chocolate bar, I would not like them with a Furret, I would not like them on a turret, I would not eat them with a Pikachu, I would not like some gum to chew, I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere! I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them May-I-am!" exclaimed a very-out-of-breath Drew. The Beedrills shoved the car out of the tree, and it landed in front of the train station that they happened to have tickets to.

Drew wondered, "How are we going to pay for the damage to the car?"

"Don' worry 'bout it, mah cuz's cool. He ain't gonna hound after y'all just fer a stupid cah," said another penguin with an obviously fake moustache, overalls, and a Southern-style accent with a bit of Cockney. "Mah name's Billy Bob Joe, the Texan penguin!"

"Well, Billy Bob Joe, could you get us on this train?" asked May, waving the train tickets in front of his err… beak.

"Shu-ah thang, liddle miz. Rahght this way, dat train's name's Thomas da Tan' an' he ain't never bit anyone, so's all 'board," said Billy Bob Joe the penguin stationmaster.

"All a-boo-ard!" exclaimed the conductor in Argentinean. He was another emperor penguin with a fake moustache, only he had lime-green short shorts, a hat of the same color, and an electric pink t-shirt that read: Come to the dark side; we have cookies! In English, he said, "My name… iz Esteban!"

Once on the train, May asked Drew, "Would you eat them on a train?" She paused for a moment, looking at the vast plains they were passing, and then said, "Would you eat them on a plain?"

Drew said coolly (getting sort of mad at the end), "I would not eat them on a train, I would not eat them on a plain, I would not like them in a tree-drill, I would not like them with a Beedrill, I would not eat them in a car, I do not want a chocolate bar, I would not like them with a Furret, I would not like them on a turret, I would not eat them with a Pikachu, I would not like some gum to chew, I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere! I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them May-I-am!"

"Oh," said May. The train then entered a tunnel, and then stopped.

"Sorry, folks," said Esteban with an Argentinean accent. "We have to stop the train so we can light up the tunnel and not get up."

In the minute that the lights were off, May asked, "Say! In the dark! Would you could you in the DARK?" Then, noticing the park above the train, she added, "Would you could you near a park?"

As Thomas lighted the dark, Drew exclaimed, "I would not could not in the dark, I would not could not near a park, I would not eat them on a train, I would not eat them on a plain, I would not like them in a tree-drill, I would not like them with a Beedrill, I would not eat them in a car, I do not want a chocolate bar, I would not like them with a Furret, I would not like them on a turret, I would not eat them with a Pikachu, I would not like some gum to chew, I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere! I DO NOT like green eggs and ham, I DO NOT like them May-I-am!"

So then, May noticed another train. She said to the train, "Hello James!"

"TEAM ROCKET??? WHERE???" yelled Max, whom happened to be on the same train.

"I'm not part of Team Rocket; I'm James the Red Engine," said the train. He added thoughtfully, "Besides, if I joined any team, it would be Team Magma. They're red like I am!"

Because the driver had been listening in on the conversation, he took a wrong turn (how is that even possible?) and ran off the track, into the water. Luckily, nobody was hurt because they could all swim and the water was only five feet deep. It was, however, enough to completely cover Drew's head and leave just the very tip of May's bandana sticking out.

Speaking magically, and waving the green eggs and ham in Drew's face, May inquired, "Would you eat them under water? Hey, is that your sister's daughter?"

"I would NOT eat them under water, that is NOT my sister's daughter, I would NOT could NOT in the dark, I would NOT could NOT near a park, I would NOT eat them on a train, I would NOT eat them on a plain, I would NOT like them in a tree-drill, I would NOT like them with a Beedrill, I would NOT eat them in a car, I do NOT want a chocolate bar, I would NOT like them with a Furret, I would NOT like them on a turret, I would NOT eat them with a Pikachu, I would NOT like some gum to chew, I would NOT like them here or there, I would NOT like them anywhere! I DO NOT like green eggs and ham, I DO NOTlike them May-I-am!" yelled Drew at the top of his lungs once they resurfaced.

"Please?" asked May.

"No!" said Drew.

"Please?"

"No!"
"Please?"

"No!"

"Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Plea-"

"Okay, okay, but only one bite!"

May cheered, "Yay! Yay! Yay!"

After he tried the green eggs and ham, Drew said, "Yuck! What did you put in that thing anyway? It tasted like rubber and cheese doodles with moldy apple pie!"

"Well, I had eggs, ham, and some spinach-," said May, getting cut off by Drew.

"SPINACH?!?!? What are you trying to do, kill me? I'm allergic to spinach!" exclaimed Drew.

That night, Drew found out that she replaced the spinach with green food coloring. The next few mornings, Drew tried the weird-colored food from May, rather than the food after it had gone bad.

The End

Note: Drew would like to say: "I do not have a sister!"

A/N: Please continue reviewing.