A/N: I'm updating. Thanx to Ikarishipping Fan for being my first and only reviewer. You don't need to have heard of either thing to enjoy the story!

The Roselia with The Bat

A parody on the Cat in the Hat

One day at the Petalburg Gym, where May and Max live, sometime after the green eggs and ham incident, Caroline (their mom) decided to go shopping all the way in La Rousse city. It was a thunderstorm, too.

They sat there and sat there with their pet Magikarp and didn't know what to do. All of a sudden it thundered, and on their doorstep appeared Drew and Roselia. Drew looked nothing like a coordinator; he might've had the flu.

"Achoo!" sneezed Drew and then he said, "No more green eggs and ham, or I'll be dead!"

So May dragged him in and gave him some spare clothes to change into that they just happened to have around while his just dripped over the fireplace. She also loaded him with enough blankets (one of them her brother's) to cover Shi Huangdi's army.

"Achoo!" Drew sneezed. "Please, oh, please don't make me eat green eggs and ham. I do not like them May-I-am!"

"Give me back my blankie!" screamed Max.

May said, "Okay!"

"Achoo!"

"Max, do you still want it back if Drew sneezed all over it?"

"Wash it first!"

"I don't want to touch Drew's mucus! It's germy!"

"Neither do I!"

"Shut up the both of you and open the washing machine lid! If both of you are to immature to do it, I'll toss it across the room!"

"Okay!" exclaimed Max as he went to do it.

"Why do we have a washing machine in our living room?" asked May.

"I dunno," said Max. Where was I again? Oh yeah. So May took out a pie she baked and gave it to Drew.

"You must eat the pie, it's good for you!" exclaimed May. Drew couldn't respond because he was stuffing his mouth with pie.

"What did you put in this? I must have the recipe!" stated Drew when he finished eating.

"Well, you just take a pie pastry and fill it with lots and lots of spinach-less green eggs and ham!" yelled May. Drew stared at her.

"Golly gee wilikers, I'm not that attractive, am I?" asked May.

"Say! I like green eggs and ham! I do like them May-I-am, and I would eat them underwater, though that is not my sister's daughter, and I will eat them near a park, and I would like them in the dark, I would like them on a train, and I would eat them on a plain, I would eat them on a tree-drill, I would like them with a Beedrill, I will eat them in a car, I still do not want a chocolate bar, and I will eat them with a Furret, and I will eat them on a turret, I would so like them with a Pikachu, I still do not want some gum to chew, I will eat them here and there, Say! I will eat them anywhere! I so do like green eggs and ham! Thank you, thank you, May-I-am!" exclaimed Drew.

"I like cheese," I said.

"I'm bored," said Max.

"Oh you can have fun while the sun isn't sunny, I know lots of good tricks," said the Roselia in Pokémon talk. "Those are fun and quite funny."

Also in Pokémon talk, the Magikarp said, "They should not be here, they should not be about, they should not be here while your mother is out!"

"Aw, come on!" said the Roselia. "I'll show you a trick with a little toy boat. Come to think, I also need a goat, a shoe that's blue, green eggs and ham, some gum to chew, a shower cap, some old, old cheese, and also a bag of frozen peas. I also need a ton of trash and maybe some potato hash, my feet are cold, my hand is hot as often as it's often not, I like to eat, please pass the meat and cheese is great. Oh no, I'm late!"

"Roselia," whined Drew. "We don't have anywhere to be late to!"

"Oh," said the Roselia. "Now for my first trick, it surely is quick, I'll balance this stuff, oh, it's not enough! I also want a kettle or two and that Magikarp bowl which contains water that's blue!"

Once balanced on the Roselia, the Magikarp said, "Put me down, put me down, I do not wish to fall! Put me down, put me down, this is not fun at all!"

All of a sudden, while up went the stack; the Roselia dropped it all really fast!

"Oh no, where's my bat!" exclaimed the rose. "Without it, I'll look fat! Is it here? Mark it with an X. Is it there? Mark it with a Y. Is it underneath the apple? Mark the apple HJI."

"Drew, if this is your Roselia, then you taught it all these tricks!" accused Max.

"Listen," said Drew. "I don't know where my Roselia learned all these things, or maybe this is just some sort of Pokémon instinct."

"Roselia, I think you put your bat down over there," said May, gesturing to the washing machine. Sure enough, the bat was right there on top of the washing machine.

"Oh," said the Roselia. The Roselia then took out a box. "Inside this box are Bud 1 and Dew 2. They all know exactly what to do!"

The pair of buds went around, practically wrecking the house. They flew a kite and Caroline's dress, oh wow, it was such a mess! They threw cake on the walls and cheese on the floor, mixed glass from windows with the door. It was a hectic time in the house so that all was stirring, even the blouse. The stockings that were hung on the chimney were re-soaked, and even the books by Gary Oak. It was terrible, terrible, and awful, too. May, Max, and Drew did not know what to do.

"I bet," said Max. "I bet with my net I can catch those Budews yet!"

"Okay," replied May. "If you need to, you can borrow my Charmander!"

"Thanks!" answered Max, taking Charmander's Pokéball. "I'll do my best!"

"Charmander! Char!" exclaimed the little Charmander.

"OH MY GOSH! I LIKE CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed. I started singing to the tune of "Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion "Eeeeeevrrrrrrrrreeeeee niiiiight in my dreams, I see cake, I eeeeeeeeat cake! That is how I bake cake from scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatch! Far across the cheeses and pies in betweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen us, you have come to show you can baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakeeee! Neeeeeeear, faaaaaaaar, where eeeeever cakes areeee, I will eat- and the pie will go on…"

My friend Kat stuck some tape on my mouth. She wanted me to shut up even more, so she tore the tape from my mouth and stuffed it with pie. I drooled. The drool was purple because it was blackberry pie. Yum, pie… (Insert more drools here)…

"J'adore le tarte!" I said. Going back to the main plot, Max took care of the Budews within the time frame of the past two paragraphs. I don't know how, he just suddenly reappeared in the living room with them in his net.

"Hey! What!" exclaimed Bud 1.

"Cheese," said Dew 2. "Mmmmmm…"

"My Roselia's a bad influence," moaned Drew. "Ughhhhhhhhh. Do you have any medicine?"

"Go Charmander!" exclaimed Max. They fainted with one command. "Here you go, Drew! Assuming that these Pokémon are yours, considering your Roselia recruited them!"

The Roselia suddenly pulled out two Pokéballs and commanded, "Budews, return!"

"That was the weirdest thing I saw in my life," said May.

"The weirdest thing I saw in my life was you," replied Drew wittingly. May got really; really mad at his comment and decided she would kill him later (not literally, of course).

"C'est trés bizarre," I stated.

"Bye!" shouted the Roselia, running out the door.

"Stupid Roselia," muttered Drew. Louder, he said, "I wonder if Roselia realized she ran off without her trainer…"

"Drewwwwww…" whined Max. "Your Roselia is a menace to living society and should be isolated and quarantined from all living organisms."

May whipped out a dictionary from her bag and defined, "Menace- a being that causes annoyance or poses as a threat. Isolated/quarantined- to be set apart."

Suddenly the Roselia burst in the door in a car that looked a little like Lightning McQueen. The car suddenly sprouted cleaning utensils and scrubbed the house. It had a mop, broom, dustpan, bucket, Rust-eze dispenser, and six extra hands, soap bottle, laundry detergent, book regenerator, and also some dishwashing detergent. Within sixteen and forty-seven seventy-fifths (16 47/75) seconds, it was completely clean. Drew got in the car and tossed May a red rose.

"Bye, Drew!" exclaimed May. They left.

Five minutes later, in the car with Drew and Roselia…

"Say, Roselia, where did you get the money to buy this?" asked Drew.

"I borrowed some from Mumble in Johto HUMMER, why do you ask?" replied Roselia.

"You know I owe that guy a car, right?" questioned Drew.

"Ka-chow!" exclaimed the car.

The End

A/N: Review if you want to.