Pokémon Plays Pajama Sam: No Need To Hide When It's Dark Outside
May, May, skip to my May! May, May, skip to my May! May, May, skip to my May; skip to my May my darling! Trapinch in the buttermilk, shoo, Trapinch, shoo! Trapinch in the buttermilk, shoo, Trapinch, shoo! Trapinch in the buttermilk, shoo, Trapinch, shoo! Skip to my- oh wait, that's the wrong story! Hang on, it's not even a story, it's a song!
The real song- I mean story- is back in La Rousse City, where the whole tale began. Everybody was passing through and they met up on purpose this time, because they had all telephoned each other last night and agreed to meet by the statue of Rayquaza. "Everybody" referred to Ash, Brock, Dawn, Drew, Gary, Max, May, Misty, and I.
"Lavaridge is not a plant, and neither are Sootopolis, Slateport, Dewford, Pacifidlog, Mauville, Verdanturf, Fallabor, Oldale, and Rustboro!" exclaimed Ash, very triumphantly. Misty was forced to agree, because none of the previously mentioned towns are plants.
"What have you all been doing?" asked Brock, determined to keep the peace.
"I've been going around, doing contests, competing in the Gym Challenge," answered May.
"You've been competing in the Gym Challenge? I doubt you have many badges, and I know you don't have five ribbons!" exclaimed Drew.
"Oh yeah?!" screamed May. "Well, for your information, I have five badges and four ribbons, plus the Putt-Putt and Pep game ribbon makes five!"
"The game ribbons count to help you get into the Grand Festival?" asked Ash.
"They also count to help you get into the Farmers' Market Supreme," answered Brock. "They count as a Blue Ribbon in baking contests."
"There's a Pajama Sam contest here, like last time's Putt-Putt contest," I said absentmindedly. "I don't own it…"
"Pajama Sam is for little kids," said Max. "Spy Fox is much more sophisticated."
"You are a little kid," pointed out May.
"I meant littler kids!" exclaimed Max angrily.
"THE BERENSTAIN BEARS!!!" screamed Ash. The next morning, everybody except Drew, Max, and I signed up for it. Drew did not go because he already signed up, I did not go because I have to type what's going on, and Max did not go because he thought the game was too immature.
The same night, the group mentioned above (excluding Max) went to the game contest hall. All the games were programmed to be the same game, so nobody could claim it was unfair because they had a harder game. The locations: the mask was with the carrot, the lunchbox was with the well, and the flashlight was in the shack on the river near the waterfall. There were only three categories for this game: first person done, last person done, and completed in average time. To get a game ribbon, you have to score first in any category, so three people can get game ribbons.
There were a lot more people than average playing this game. Among some of the people playing were Paul, Rose, Joan, Rei, a kid called Jango Ketchum (Ash's third cousin twice removed) whom was also the builder of Percy the small engine, Billy Bob Joe, and Esteban. Jango was wearing clothes similar to those that Ash wore during the time he was first in Kanto. Billy Bob Joe was wearing a white t-shirt and black shorts. The t-shirt read, "I am wearing this because the author ran out of ideas for my weird clothes." Esteban was wearing a Darth Vader costume.
"Ash…" said Esteban. "I… am… your… fazher!"
"Noooooooooooooooo!" wailed Ash.
Esteban switched back to his normal, Argentinean-accented voice and said, "I'm just joking, I'm not really your fazher. I said zhat to eemitate Darth Vader."
Ash heaved a sigh of relief. John was MC, and Mumble was assistant MC. The contest owner looked happy because he got two of his former workers to take the job. John looked like he was only there to support Joan because he traveled with her (and maybe developed a little crush), and Mumble looked like he was there to support Billy Bob Joe because he was his cousin, but they were there nonetheless. The pairing of Joan and John… favorite OC and author's assistant… Authorshipping! There, now I have a name for it.
"Even though it's sort of mean to tease your OCs about their crushes," I stated. "That doesn't stop Rei and Joan from teasing Drew about his crush on May."
"I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON MAY!!!" screamed Drew from the other end of the room. "Her green eggs and ham are fantastic, though."
Rei piped up, "Authorshipping and Contestshipping rule!"
I asked, "Did you know I originally intended to pair together Joan and Harley?"
"Eww!" exclaimed May, Joan, Rei, and I. The very thought of it made John's and Drew's blood boil.
"I like cheese," I said. I sang to the tune of "Who Said" by Hannah Montana, "I'm more than just- a crazy gi-i-rl. I like turn on the oven- and bake the cake! (Aw yeah!) Though some can make a fake- this girl just wants to bake! I'm individual; I'm not like anyone!"
Drew continued, "I can be a ba-a-ker, just like you see in all the co-o-okbo-o-oks! I can be as sweet as pie- or anything I wanna be! Who said, who said, I can't be baker man? I say, I say, that I know I can! Who said, who said, I won't be president? I say, I say, you ain't seen nothing yet! Oh pie! Pie!"
Gary carried on, "Go on and make some cake- ev'ry one has to bake- to lead their own charade: I DO IT MY WAY!!! Ca-a-ake! I can be soft and neat or messier than a pig! I can cure some me-e-eat, or gro-o-o-ow fifty hundred figs!"
We all burst out, "Who said, who said, I can't be baker man? I say, I say, that I know I can! Who said, who said, I'm not cheese-ified? I say, I say… There's no holding pie, staying eye-to-eye, 'cause you control the oven, so let them know your muffin! No limitations on imagination- imagine tha-a-t! Who said, who said…"
"SHUT YOUR PIEHOLES!!!" screamed Misty.
"Did she say pie-hole?" asked Drew
"Did she say pie-hole?" asked Gary
"Oh my gosh! You said pie-hole!" I exclaimed. I started singing with Drew and Gary doing the backups in parenthesis, "This is the pie (pie)! Baking li-i-ght (light, light)! And this is the cheese (cheese)! It's all I need (light, light)! You never know when you'll bake it…"
"SHUT YOUR PIEHOLES!!!" exclaimed Misty again.
"Get ready… get set…GO!!!" shouted John. All competitors slipped our headphones on and started on time. For interrupting our song, I made John wear the clothes of a gangster wannabe (Dom) and he danced to ballet music, more specifically from the Nutcracker. In a half-hour, May finished the game because had the same one at home and she knew how to win it. Similar rules applied to this contest, so she started belting out my cheese song, "I got Cheese", ripped-off Hannah Montana's "I Got Nerve". When she was done with that, she started singing the song at the top of this page, and when she was done with that, she read out loud from the cookbook Brock had given her for her birthday, and the little book I gave her, also for her birthday, but in the Ubbi Dubbi she learned from the book Gary gave her. When she was done doing that, Gary was finished and the carried on a conversation in French. I came up with the name WeirdBrownHairshipping for the pairing of May and Gary.
"How dare you call our hair weird!" yelled May and Gary.
"And how dare you insist they invent that pairing," added Gary. "Contestshipping is a much better pairing!"
Drew suddenly finished the game and tore his pants. Six people (excluding Gary and May) burst out laughing and got disqualified because you're not allowed to talk until you finish. Drew's underpants were funny. They were sparkly lavender and had sparkly pink roses, Beautifly, and Butterfree printed on them. May whipped out a sewing kit and sewed his pants back together. Unfortunately, she isn't that good at sewing, so she also sewed his pants to his underpants.
"Those are his lucky underpants!" exclaimed Rei, who had just finished. "Now he is able to not wear them or to wash them; they haven't been washed for a half year, and he hasn't changed out of them for two weeks!"
"Rei!" shouted Drew. "You weren't supposed to tell them that! And you washed them? How could you!?"
"Don't worry, Drew. You won't be left out for long," I said. Suddenly, John, who had changed from ballet dancing to belly dancing, tore his pants, too. His underpants were hot pink, and they had Barbie-pink, fluffy, feminine, shiny, polyester, little underpants on them. The little underpants had baby Pokémon such as Happiny, Pichu, Igglybuff, Cleffa, Togepi, Mantyke, Tyrouge, and others, all of which were surrounded by hearts.
"Argh! You weren't supposed to tell them!" shouted John.
"Well, too bad!" I answered. "You made me seriously mad when you interrupted our song!"
"Well, I'll just fix it!" exclaimed May, while fixing it. She accidentally did the same thing to John's pants that she did to Drew's.
"Pie, pie, do you like the pie? Pie, I really like the pie! Pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie! I can bake lots of pi-i-ies!" I sang to the tune of the Han-Han, which goes to the tune of the Can-Can.
"I can bake lots of pie," sang Baser (whom had just popped up out of nowhere) to the tune of Disney's A Whole New World. "Sweet, crispy, edible! Even though they are snow-cold but they still taste really good. I will open the oven- take you cheesecake by cheesecake, some of them are half-fake but they still can be food! A whole new cheese, a new fantastic non-stick mold, don't say the type of cake, or where to bake, or say we're only baking…"
"A whole new cheese," I sang. " A dazzling taste I never knew, but when I'm baking here, it's cellophane clear that I'm using a whole new cheese with you; using a whole new cheese with you!"
"SHUT UP!!!" screamed Misty, whom had just finished. To escape her wrath, Baser fled. "I'M SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ALL THESE STUPID PIE, CHEESE, AND CAKE SONGS!!!"
"I agree!" exclaimed Caitlin. She put on a black t-shirt that said in red letters: Do not support the cheese, pie, and cake songs. "Let's band together!"
After they formed a band called "Cheese, Pie, and Cake are Stupid", everyone finished. Joan was the last one done. John started awarding awards.
"Third place for finishing last goes to Ash!" exclaimed John, holding up a little medal. "Second place for finishing last goes to Rose, and…"
Mumble declared, "First place for finishing last, with the slowpoke ribbon, is Joan!"
"Thank you!" yelled Joan. "To tell you the truth, I went a little slow on purpose. I've beat this game 74.5 times and I still can't beat the time of two hours!"
John started up again, holding up slightly larger medals, "Third place for Average Time is Misty!"
"Second place is Dawn!" said Mumble enthusiastically.
"And first place with the average ribbon is Brock!" finished John.
"Third place for finishing first, with a CD of Jules's stories, is Drew!" exclaimed Mumble, holding up the largest medals.
"Oh, joy," muttered Drew sarcastically.
"Did somebody say my name?" asked Nurse Joy. "I must be hearing things…"
"Second place for finishing first, with a barrel of cheese, is Gary!" said John, ignoring the interruption.
"Great, a barrel of cheese, what's next?" asked Gary, also sarcastically. "An oven?"
"We need a new plan," whispered the contest owner to me. "That was what I was going to give the winner!"
"Don't worry about it," I whispered back, using my author powers to change the oven into something else. "Leave it to me."
I walked over to Mumble and told him what to announce it as. It will work, because I am the author and whatever I say goes.
"First place for finishing first," started Mumble. "With an ice-cream maker, is May!!!"
When they left the building, Drew tossed another rose to May and kissed her lightly (on the lips this time). Joan and Rei cheered in the background, then all three siblings got in the car that looked like Putt-Putt and drove away.
Meanwhile, Ash and Misty were arguing, Dawn and Paul were finally having the battle mentioned at May's birthday party, and they all lived happily ever after.
Except for Brock because he couldn't find a girl who would date him and his books were never sold.
The End