And so, after some unmentionable time of travel, the Witch Princess winds up in the confession booth of Mineral Town's very own Church to have some good old fashion religious therapy with Priest Carter.
"Oh lost lamb, what has brought you to the Church of the Goddess?" Carter's voice proclaimed from the other side.
"Lost lamb? Do you really have to call me that? That sounds a little embarrassing, don't you think? I'm not all white and fluffy and servable on a plate when it's convenient." The Witch Princess complained.
"Um, okay then… let me try that again." Carter said before clearing his throat.
"Oh… lost visitor, what has brought you to the Church of the Goddess?" Carter asked once more with the same dramatic flair as the first time.
"Much better. Anyway, I've come to confess a serious offense… I guess you could say it would be a sin worthy of being dubbed Public Enemy #1 around here, especially to a man of the cloth such as yourself." The Witch Princess began.
She wasn't sure, but she could've sworn she saw Carter make a nod motion.
"Very well then. Confess thy sin and release yourself of evil and contempt." He replied.
The Witch Princess gulped.
"Well, uh, you see… I'm not entirely sure just how much faith you have in the power of that lady, but some time ago, I actually made the Harvest Goddess vanish from this plain of existence, rendering her helpful influences null and void. And I have a feeling I just peeved the populace that way." She finally confessed.
An uneasy silence befell the Church for a few moments.
"Um… Mister Priest guy?" The Witch Princess said in a cracked voice.
And yet another period of silence befell the Church.
"….. I see…" Carter finally spoke.
"Ah, um… now you don't happen to be really angry at me right now, do you?" the Witch Princess asked nervously.
"…This holy dwelling is a place of healing and forgiveness, not a shack of wraith and pain. Therefore, because of your confession and your show of regret, you shall be forgiven in her name." Carter concluded.
"Eh… really?" The Witch Princess asked hesitantly.
"Although she currently may not be with us in presence, I am certain that is her will." Carter answered.
For a brief moment, the Witch Princess stared dubiously into the confession hole that allowed Carter to here people's confessions.
"What?! Seriously? I sent your precious Harvest Goddess away to who-knows-where and you're really just going to shrug it off and tell me all is well for me? Oh, come on! I know you, Mr. Holy Man! You must like that Goddess a whole lot to be willing to loose the "privilege" of shacking up with a significant other just to devote yourself to her teachings! There must be some festering hatred boiling in those snazzy garbs of yours!" the Witch Princess griped.
The holy man in black cleared his throat before moving on.
:"First of all, to be clear, I'm actually a Minister. I can still marry if I chose to, but I'll need to find another person to perform the ceremony, seeing as how I cannot do it for myself. Secondly, I actually caught wind of this from one of the local sprites some time ago. Yes, sent the Harvest Goddess away, but it's been quickly established that it was all an accident that you're working hard to atone for. So no, I'm not mad, but I would like to what exactly would have driven you to such extremes… even if it were under accidental circumstances." Carter explained.
The Witch Princess nodded.
"Fine. You know, usually that annoying Goddess being all goodie-goodie yet overbearingly conceited with her near-omnipotence everyday, but then she just HAD to push the envelope and shove her obnoxiousness in her face by coming up with a new catchphrase! "Tada!" this! And "Tada!" that! Who the heck does she think she is, some Vegas Showgirl Magician poofing center stage and making millions off magic tricks and sexy fan service? Honestly, who in their right mind would proudly proclaim "Tada!" as their catchphrase? Why couldn't it have been something less annoying, like "Let's Rock!", or "Harvest-Ago-go Baby!" or "Here I come to save the day!!!"? Heck, even "Go Go Goddess Ranger!" would've been better! No, wait. I think this is a better idea: How about whenever she makes her grand arrival, a small block of legible text pops in right by her that reads "The Harvest Goddess appears" like in one of those old-school RPGs! Yeah, that way I don't have to put up with her obnoxious speaking at all, smack her around with a plastic hammer, and gain 5,000 gold complete with 1,000,000 EXP for defeating her?!" she rambled on.
"So this aggravation runs deep, it seems…" Carter noted.
At the moment, the exasperated witch was hyperventilating from her excessive chatter and outrage.
"Y-yeah… yeah it does… sorry for getting… carried away… like that…" she said in between her breaths.
"Either way, I'm sure the Harvest Goddess will be able to forgive you knowing it was all a misunderstanding. She might be a little irked at first, but far too deep sympathy to bear a lasting grudge over that. Everything should be fine between you two once order is restored." Carter answered.
"Well, thanks for the good news and all Mr. Priest, but unfortunately, your voice alone doesn't speak for all the other guys that are breathing down my neck at the moment." The Witch Princess mentioned.
"Right. Well unfortunately, while she may be willing to forgive, lesser mortals who hold her so dearly may not. They owe her so much for her blessings, so it would be understandable that they would be resentful. However, what they must understand is that despite her "disappearance", her will still works hard to retain the safety of her people. Had this not been true, the recent run of disasters would have ended all life as we know it, and yet we all remain fine and dandy despite it. And it seems she's even spared you from an ill fate," said Carter.
"What, you're saying that she's still looking out for me, even though we go at it like a snake and mongoose on a regular basis?" the Witch Princess asked.
"I believe so. Otherwise, I think she would've directed all the misfortune towards you and smote you thusly." Carter replied.
The Witch Princess gawked at thin air in amazement.
"Huh...strange. Didn't know she actually does nice things for me every once in awhile." She muttered quietly.
"Anyway, concerning your other problem, I believe you have little to worry about if you remain true and persistent with your goal. Once the people see and realize you are sincerely trying to bring the Harvest Goddess back to them, they'll come to forgive your transgression as well. You will just have to stay strong and remain patient. Patience, after all, and hard work is bound to be rewarded." Carter preached.
"Alright . If there really is little more to do than that, I guess I'll just have to go with it. I guess I couldn't expect some "deus ex machine" solution for this kind of situation, anyway. Thanks for hearing me out, Priest Man." The Witch Princess sighed.
"No problem, milady. And before you leave, I would like to say that Doctor Trent would like to thank you once again for contributing a vast stock of herbs and poisons for his study and looks forward to any further help you can offer him." Carter added.
The Witch Princess groaned.
"Don't remind me…" she grumbled. "I'm at too much of a low point as it is, groveling for forgiveness like this. I don't need to know how just how soft I can go."
"Thank you for your time, Visitor. May you receive everlasting blessings." Carter finished.
"Yeah, yeah…" the Witch Princess muttered.
With that bit of business out of the way, the Witch Princess shuffled towards the exit, but not before causing a ponytail head to turn.
"C-Carter…. Was that… a witch?" the young man with the brown ponytail cried.
The hearty blonde priest stepped out of the confession office, dressed completely in black priestly clothing.
"Why yes… yes she is, Cliff." Carter answered calmly.
"Um… then why didn't she burn or melt or something upon entering the Church? Is this place no longer protected?" the nervous young man asked.
Carter chuckled in amusement.
"No, no. That woman is not of the evil variety, young one. Her magic is different and complex in a way that makes her the Goddess' opposite, but she is a necessary compliment to the Goddess' power. Their relationship if anything is more like a sibling rivalry with a grudging respect between them instead of mortal enemies" He explained.
"Wow… you sound like you're very familiar with this Witch girl, too." Cliff said in awe, despite the doubt and anxiety that still lingered within him.
"Indeed I am. She's actually made a previous pilgrimage to this place, in fact. Last time she came to confess turning the Goddess Spring of Forget-Me-Not Valley into a huge tub of Mushroom Soup!" he shared.
Cliff's eyes widened in disbelief.
"I-is that so…?" he asked in a shaky voice.
Right outside, the Witch Princess slumped away feeling half disappointment.
"I don't know… in an odd way, I feel relieved getting that off my chest to the Goddess' main man, but on the other hand I'm still left without a solution. I guess I was expecting too much from this place. I mean, this was way worse than that time I decided to use the valley's spring for a huge amount of Mushroom Spring. Sure, I got a kick out of the Harvest Goddess smelling like forest fungi for a month, but that was still a brutal muss. Ugh… I don't know what's left with my options. I hope they forgot about me back home and try to lay low until tension dies down, but it's likely that the butler guy had a long hard talk with his Mistress and they're going to make sure they keep me off their premises. Heck, most of the villagers probably found out I left, and they probably prepared a huge angry mob to drive me out if I go back…" she voiced aloud.
"I see… you must feel REALLY bad about something if you decided to visit Church." A familiar voice called out.
"Ah, oh no… now I'm hearing that voice again from my unresolved guilt again! Stupid conscience! Can't you see I already tried everything I could?!" the Witch Princess shouted.
"Uh… what are you talking about? I'm right beside you." The voice answered back.
The Witch Princess turned her head to see a young man with messy brown hair and stoic grey eyes. He sported a green short-sleeved jacket, a pair of blue jeans, and a pair of red and white sneakers. On his back was a brown rucksack.
"Link?! Is that really you this time?" the Witch Princess exclaimed.
The physical form of her farmer friend nodded slowly.
"Oh! Well, that's good! So you were in Mineral Town this whole time? What business do you possibly have here?" the Witch Princess asked.
"Unfortunately, there's been some trouble with the Mineral Town Delivery services as of late, and I felt it was about time I finally had a chicken, so I ended up coming here to pick one up personally. And since I was here, I decided to take advantage of the local market they have here. Right now, the Poultry Farm is holding onto my chicken until I finally depart, so it should be fine." Link explained.
"Alright, glad to finally hear what you've been up to since left." The Witch Princess said back in slight irritation. "So… how'd the little farewell party with your "pwecious wittle" Lumina go before heading out? I know you out of everyone, you'd take your sweet time saying to her in person… because you just "wove" her so much, right?"
"Ugh… honestly, sometimes I'm not sure if you're a Witch Princess as you claim, or if you're really some sleazy old man in disguise." Link groaned.
"Hmph, well that's a low blow coming from you, isn't it?" the Witch Princess pouted.
"Then quit having a kick out of teasing my love life already. Do you realize how many times you've asked me how far I've made it with her?" Link growled. "Anyway, what brings YOU here, of all things? I don't take it you're really a Church Girl at heart, considering that you rarely ever leave the valley, too."
The Witch Princess diverted her eyes, then started to rub her head. Soon, she added a nervous laugh into the mix, and nearly resorted to finish off the routine by rubbing her tummy at the same time.
"Eh, right… y'know, Link? I think after a few weeks of trouble without the Goddess, I've seen the fellow villagers get restless, and it seems they're just about ready to unleash their fury on the one responsible, namely me. I know I've been working my butt off on the side to help out in our quest to restore the Goddess, but do you honestly think the villagers would believe a troublemaker like me is out to get her back? There's been too many fairy tales that's made out our little rivalry to be some dramatic clash between good and evil, and I doubt the fairytale believers will wanna take the side of "Big Mamma Evil!" she explained.
"Hm… well, it's true that you aren't known to provide "pleasant" company, but I don't think those guys are the type to be out for cold blood. And I don't think it's a widely accepted notion that you're a harbinger of violent weather, but I must admit, this has been one hell-hole of a Summer we've been dealing with so far. Anyway, I haven't heard too much of your former "exploits", but have you ever once actually tried to DESTROY the valley before?"
The Witch Princess paused for a bit.
"Total and utter oblivion of the town…? Not really. You know me, I stir up a little bit chaos here and there, all the while working on a few assignments to aid the magic community and occasionally confronting that annoying Goddess when she was around Can't say I've cursed a guy to death, so I honestly can't say I have a true criminal record beyond that crazy incident." She answered.
"Then… I don't see how they'd be mad at you. No one back at the Valley's ever really spoken badly about you beyond saying you can be a nuisance, except for Marlin, but he speaks ill of a lot people. On the other hand, Lumina is quite okay with you despite how much you enjoy jeering at her developing relationship with me, and Sebastian's actually glad to have around the last of a fabled clan come live at the Villa's former guesthouse." Link reasoned.
"Actually, about that… I think I may have finally pushed the old man's buttons… I overheard the man plot to bring me down with his drinking buddies, saying I've "gone too far"." The Witch Princess revealed.
"Are you serious? Our good man Sebastian, plotting some sort of riot? That doesn't sound like him at all…" Link uttered in disbelief. "Maybe he was drunk or something, but still…Did you even hear out the rest of the discussion?"
The Witch Princess twitched.
"Eh-heh… n-no, not really. But come on, the guy sounded pretty fired up! I bet he could've even revived the American Revolution with that funny wig the way he roused up his guys! He even mentioned that there was some woman he could no longer stand" she answered.
"He could've been fed up with anyone, according to the lack of knowledge you obtained. It could've been Romana because of how stubborn she can be about things, or maybe some unwanted pesky visitor that keeps coming by without us knowing." Link guessed. "Either way, what even gave you the idea Sebastian holds something against you in the first place?"
Again, the Witch Princess laughed nervously.
"You know, maybe it had to do with the those magic wedgie I gave him on occasion… or the time I turned his wig purple… or it could've been the love potion incident from before you were here… and then there was the cursed relic I gave him for his birthday…"
Link stood there gawking as the Witch Princess' list continued.
"That Sebastian must have one forgiving sense of humor. He keeps bringing you up like a fun memory, and I'm still in the dark why…" Link thought to himself.
"Okay, okay, I think I get it now." He finally interrupted aloud. "Honestly, the old man is surprisingly forgiving despite his uptight-ish ways. I'm sure he isn't planning some sort of mad fest like you claim. How about we go back and straighten this whole thing out?"
"Do you really think that's a good idea?" the Witch Princess asked nervously.
"I think that's the one that makes the most sense." Link answered. "C'mon, it honestly can't be that bad, and if it is, you have a few guys that got your back, myself included."
For a moment, The Witch Princess looked at Link curiously. She then chuckled in amusement.
"Of course you do. It's all because you're the weird little "straight arrow", always having to stand up for your friends, even if they're a habitual pain in the rear." She teased.
"Right… and I suppose you're somehow better than me because of it." Link retorted sarcastically. "Come on, just be grateful for once. It's not like I'm ordering you around all the time like an uptight fruitcake."
"Actually, I might be grateful… just a little…" The Witch Princess said in a sing-song tone.
"Just a little, eh? Really? You know you still owe me a lot from way back when I saved your hide from that huge mess of yours. Guess that and actually befriending you in the first place never really meant all that much you, did it?" Link uttered casually.
The Witch Princess sighed.
"Okay, okay! I'm grateful! I'm really grateful! Don't go all guilt trip on me when I already had the six night stay!" she sad aloud.
"That's good. You know, it wouldn't hurt if you acted more considerate for a change… it just might help make people see you in a better light." Link said with a grin.
"Easy for you say…" The Witch Princess answered back in a sing-song tone once again.
Link simply shook his head in response. He then turned around and took a few steps away.
"Well, it looks like you're already done with your business here, and I've just taken care of mine. How about we head back right now?" he proposed.
"Meh, fine by me… I'd rather not stay here any longer. Besides, I still have a personal project to finish up back at home." The Witch Princess answered.
"Alright, then off we go, Minerva!" Link cried.
The Witch Princess cringed upon hearing that name.
"AGH!!! Must you seriously do that to me? You know how much I hate that name!" "Minerva" groaned.
"It's punishment." Link said flatly.
"Punishment? For what?!" the Witch Princess exclaimed.
"For making a spectator sport off of my relationship with Lumina too much. From now you'll have to face the wrath of your own embarrassing name until you make up for this." He explained.
"WH-WHAT?!?! How do you expect me to do that?" Minerva exclaimed again.
"You can start off by helping Kai with his summer shack snow cones" Link ordered.. "I overheard your little plot to hoard his snow cone supply all to yourself, and we can't have that happening in hot weather, can we?"
"Awwwwww… but Link, I love snow cones! Especially the watermelon kind! And you know how easily those sell out!" the Witch Princess whined.
"Well too bad. You'll just have to earn the money for it like anybody else. I can't let you mooch off of me forever, Minerva." Link lectured.
Again, the poor Witch twitched at the sound of her own name.
"Aw, phoey…" she pouted.
End